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Original poster

Mid life style crisis - help!

57 replies

Kaisamain · 16/12/2023 10:56

I’m looking for a couple of dresses this season for Christmas drinks/New Year parties and have totally lost confidence in my ability to choose anything stylish.
I’m 41, 173cm (5’8”) tall, size 8-10, good legs, small waist, bigger hips and slightly scrawny chest 😂
I’m single and would like to look really sexy but not desperate or mutton dressed as lamb.
Can anyone help me find my style?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Leafytrees · 16/12/2023 12:08

Go shopping in person and try a load of stuff on. It's the only way. If it makes you feel great, think about when and where you'd wear it and whether it should have a place in your new wardrobe.

Myfabby · 16/12/2023 16:29

https://www.harrods.com/en-gb/shopping/ruffled-joan-mini-dress-19244328?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAsvWrBhC0ARIsAO4E6f88-vZvQtAe4Fiv-Mjlu5J1_LYVtFf4E9uDYTvf9H496OPDL_q8zX8aAk3jEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

https://www.net-a-porter.com/en-gb/shop/product/self-portrait/clothing/mini-dresses/pleated-taffeta-mini-dress/1647597290133184?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=GOO%3ANAP%3AEU%3AGB%3ALO%3AENG%3ASEAU%3APLA%3ASLR%3AMXO%3ANEW%3AWN%3ASELF-PORTRAIT%3ALV0%3ALV1%3ALV2%3AXXX%3A8%3A%3A&utm_id=19744293593&utm_term=3074457345625108997&vtp00=GOOGLE&vtp01=SEAU&vtp02=151688079292&vtp03=aud-1663314258473:pla-298764923248&vtp04=g&vtp05=c&vtp06=649560378898&vtp07=pla_with_promotion&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAsvWrBhC0ARIsAO4E6f-9i-rxBMMdFft6F98aD1MSohE-i4c6CQQne7L6x5OZYaNHLS_Qy70aAhItEALw_wcB

https://www.net-a-porter.com/en-gb/shop/product/self-portrait/clothing/mini-dresses/ruched-crystal-embellished-stretch-mesh-mini-dress/1647597317632700

and for a real show stopper..

https://www.net-a-porter.com/en-gb/shop/product/solace-london/clothing/mini-dresses/meyer-strapless-asymmetric-faille-mini-dress/1647597305455271?cm_mmc=sea&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=GOO%3ANAP%3AEU%3AGB%3AEX%3AENG%3ASEAU%3APLA%3ASLR%3AMXO%3ANEW%3AWN%3ASOLACE-LONDON%3ALV0%3ALV1%3ALV2%3AXXX%3A11%3AEMPTY%3A&utm_id=20070270225&utm_term=3074457345625930305&vtp00=GOOGLE&vtp01=SEAU&vtp02=149103436016&vtp03=pla-298764923248&vtp04=g&vtp05=c&vtp06=657209681242&vtp07=pla_with_promotion&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAsvWrBhC0ARIsAO4E6f-L04bnaY6870YSqVXi6AMEw3v1HSdfxLSG3zt2GRBLnjxR8e-mNIkaAsiqEALw_wcB

JMAngel1 · 16/12/2023 17:10

Myfabby · 16/12/2023 16:31

Now that is stunning in the amethyst.

OP, are you feeling up to this level of gorgeousness? Brilliant dresses @Myfabby but might be a little intimidating 😂

SuperPug · 16/12/2023 17:58

The dresses above, whilst I’m sure are lovely are little ‘out there’. However, it depends on what suits you and if your legs are a good feature I imagine a shorter dress would look good.
In terms of people in the public eye - is there anyone who you thinks has particularly good style? Awful programme but I loved the clothes worn by the Dr Nya Wallace character on ‘And Just Like That’.

SuperPug · 16/12/2023 17:58

Typos again, phone keyboard 😕

laclochette · 16/12/2023 18:18

Would you consider getting your colours done? It's only one part of finding your style, but it can be a real unlock and a fun first step.

millypeggyandpandora · 17/12/2023 09:43

The All Saints option is so gorgeous

Purplecatshopaholic · 17/12/2023 10:21

OMG, that Gauge81 dress is soooo awesome. Thanks Fabby for posting it. Can’t justify it, but so want to buy it and just waft round the house in it!

Heloo · 17/12/2023 10:44

Gauge81: perhaps not the best neckline for a scrawny chest (written by one who also has a scrawny chest)

Original poster
Kaisamain · 17/12/2023 10:51

Oh wow, I had t realised anyone had replied! Thank you all, I’ll have a look through your suggestions and respond.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kaisamain · 17/12/2023 11:00

@Myfabby
Stunning dresses, all of them, thank you, but as a pp suggested possibly a bit too fabulous for me! Still, gives me something to think about.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kaisamain · 17/12/2023 11:06

SuperPug · 16/12/2023 17:58

The dresses above, whilst I’m sure are lovely are little ‘out there’. However, it depends on what suits you and if your legs are a good feature I imagine a shorter dress would look good.
In terms of people in the public eye - is there anyone who you thinks has particularly good style? Awful programme but I loved the clothes worn by the Dr Nya Wallace character on ‘And Just Like That’.

That’s a good thought, maybe I should scour the pages of the mags and see if there’s a similar age actress I can copy.
The trouble is, I just don’t know what’s sexy anymore……and what I can get away with. In my 20s I could wear anything, long slim legs, great hair, no wrinkles etc, but now I’m just paranoid that I’ll look ridiculous and desperate!

OP posts:
Original poster
Kaisamain · 17/12/2023 11:07

laclochette · 16/12/2023 18:18

Would you consider getting your colours done? It's only one part of finding your style, but it can be a real unlock and a fun first step.

Yes I would! That’s a great idea. Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kaisamain · 17/12/2023 11:13

@ISpyNoPlumPie I love thé Réformation dresses, thanks for posting the link. This one particularly stood out………is it too va va voom though? I’m blonde (thought not naturally 😜). Is shiny silk a bit tacky? Aaargh, see this is why I’m screwed, I can’t make a bloody decision.

OP posts:
OP posts:
almondflake · 17/12/2023 11:22

I've ordered this from Roman , it came next day and fits beautifully .

Mid life style crisis - help!
Myfabby · 17/12/2023 11:26

Kaisamain · 17/12/2023 11:14

I'm 5'10 and size 10. I'd hate where this dress stops. not quite midi not quite maxi. back is lovely though.

PlumPeony · 17/12/2023 11:42

I find separates easier than a dress, as gives you more options. would you consider for example sequin skirt (or trousers), to be worn with a rollneck or even a sheer top / blazer combo?

SylvanianAddict · 17/12/2023 11:51

I think you should consider French women's fashion. It is sexy and sophisticated but still covers all your bits lol. Judging by your dress size and body dimensions, you have a great figure - French fashion works best on slim women.

https://editorialist.com/style/french-girl-style/

Have a look at Justine Leconte's youtube page.

Original poster
Kaisamain · 17/12/2023 12:29

Myfabby · 17/12/2023 11:26

I'm 5'10 and size 10. I'd hate where this dress stops. not quite midi not quite maxi. back is lovely though.

Show quote history

Good point, especially as I have skinny ankles which make my feet look bigger than they are 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Kaisamain · 17/12/2023 12:34

PlumPeony · 17/12/2023 11:42

I find separates easier than a dress, as gives you more options. would you consider for example sequin skirt (or trousers), to be worn with a rollneck or even a sheer top / blazer combo?

I don’t feel I’m beautiful enough for that look. Although I love it on others! I always tend to go for clothes that show off my best bits……but the trouble being I don’t think I’m young enough for my best bits to be on show anymore.

OP posts:
Floisme · 17/12/2023 13:25

Op it sounds like you have a most enviable figure so I'm a little nonplussed as to where this negative self image is coming from.
You can't wear a fabulous dress?
You have slim ankles and therefore your feet look big?
You're not beautiful enough to wear a sequin skirt with a roll neck and blazer?

Why so down on yourself when you've got so much going for you?