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Original poster

I have a style copycat

77 replies

HouseofSaltRock · 19/10/2023 22:23

I have a very defined style at work, keeping everything very simple, but using one accent - be it shoes or accessories. A colleague has complimented me on my style a few times, they I have noticed subtle changes in her appearance. Didn’t really connect the two until this week, when she wore almost identical “uniform” to mine, with actual shoes exactly the same, unusual colour and texture.

I am really annoyed about this and feel like this is a competition I have never tried to win yet somehow I am in it now.

OP posts:
GonnaGetGoingReturns · 20/10/2023 09:24

The one time I got accused of this, our office had moved to East London (just getting trendy then). We were all discovering the Old Spitalfields Market and the shops around it. There was a huge shop called the Laden Showroom where the marketing manager (who thought she was some kind of style icon) went and recommended it, I’m sure to me too. I went off and got a pretty peacock blue print satin tie back top and when I wore it immediately got comments from her saying I was copying her style. I just ignored her.

I personally think you’re being pathetic OP, yes she may copy elements of your look but anyone can do this. The mistake she’s made is* *wearing this in the same office as you! Shock horror…

RudsyFarmer · 20/10/2023 09:25

It’s difficult when someone copies you so closely that you look like twins. It’s then forcing you to step away from an aesthetic you were enjoying as you know you can’t ask the other person to quit it.

Honestly I’m not sure what you can do really. If they admire you they are going to copy whatever style you have. Perhaps mix it up a little so she won’t know exactly what you’re going to be dressed like each day and crack on. Everyone will know what’s going on I promise you.

FindRachel · 20/10/2023 09:30

What you could do is chat with the person copying your style and say that you're actually thinking of doing X or wearing Y what do they think? You've noticed that they have changed their fashion style too and you're looking for advice. Make out that it is them that is leading the fashion stakes and then lead them down a path of fashion that you would not be interested in wearing but you think would be better on them. See if they take the bait.
That is what someone would do on a sit-com, not in real life. Madness.

LumiB · 20/10/2023 09:38

I understand how annoying it can be, I have neighbours who copy me relating to house and garden renovations. Its not flattering, this is a style I love, its not even something you love yet you copy it as closely as you can because you don't have your own style or can be bothered to take the time to work out what you like.

RavingStone · 20/10/2023 09:39

I thought I had a somewhat unique style. I don't. I just live in a neighborhood where I have a different income bracket and political position from some of my neighbours and a different cultural background from the rest. When I go to areas where more people are similar to me, I find I am far from unique.

We all buy what there is available to buy. We're all being induced to want things by marketing. And it stands to reason a person in a similar job may have similar style.

Blahblahblah2 · 20/10/2023 09:41

I remember being annoyed by this kind of thing when I was a teenager. But you're an adult. Don't you have more important things to worry about?

Gettingbysomehow · 20/10/2023 09:42

I'd be thrilled if someone thought I looked so great they wanted to copy my style! As it is I usually look like a sack of potatoes 😂

RavingStone · 20/10/2023 09:45

Perhaps this has hit a nerve with me.

It's reminded me that, when younger, it was always the rich kids who got something first and attempted to claim ownership on an item or style, not realising it was simply their wealth that enabled that.

Thank god that I discovered grunge!

Miracle29 · 20/10/2023 09:47

I had this with a neighbour but later down the line I found out why. I've not got any particular style as such but it started with a coat I was wearing. She asked where I had it from and a week later shes wearing the exact one. Few weeks later she asked where my gillet and trainers were from and sure enough a week later shes in the same ones. Even down to my claw clip amd makeup lol. It did bug me a little at first but as time went on she mentioned having low self esteem and didn't really have a style and felt quite boring so wanted to make herself feel better. She always wore hoodies normally. She liked my style and clothes. So, as annoying as it may be, there could be a reason for it. I literally felt like everytime I saw her she was staring at everything I had on I could feel her eyes lol. Now I just let her get on with it and now find it quite flattering, though still at times annoying but she'll soon move onto something else I suspect.

Cumbrianlife · 20/10/2023 09:57

Please try to be nice to her. I suspect she admires you and wishes she had your style. It's a compliment and youre only at work. I wonder if she has imposter syndrome and this is part of 'fake it 'til you make it.' It's such a trivial thing to be upset about, I'd try to consider it helping her self esteem.

Divebar2021 · 20/10/2023 09:58

Just because something is simple doesn’t mean it’s not striking or distinctive. I like wearing a shirt and tie to the office (as a woman) and I’d say that’s pretty striking. I don’t work anywhere where there are any other women wearing that ( even though shirts and ties are not hard to come by ) If another woman started wearing a shirt and tie that would be very odd. If I saw someone wearing something that I loved I would most definitely try and recreate it but hell would freeze over before I wore it in the exact same way to the same place as my inspiration. Of course if it’s less distinctive than that then it’s less of an issue but still no-one wants to look like the poor imitation of the original.

EarringsandLipstick · 20/10/2023 10:03

I wouldn't really have an issue. The likelihood is if you wore it first, it's a sign of your own fashion sense and statement - someone copying it is not going to do as effectively or genuinely.

Equally, you will notice, others really won't.

Overall, you'll wear the style better and so I would probably observe it and take it as a compliment, without thinking much more about it.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 20/10/2023 10:05

Wear some deliberately unflattering clothes to work for a few days. If she sticks to your accent colour style, she just likes that style and isn’t a weird obsessive. If she also turns up looking like an Amish schoolteacher (or whatever you choose), she’s a loon and it’s time to run.

Although you could have some fun with it. Wear a short, unflattering wig to work and wax lyrical about how much you love your new haircut. Then when she turns up looking like Ann Widdecombe’s sister, whip yours off and say “Thank goodness that bet’s over”.

RavingStone · 20/10/2023 10:33

I realise I often wear colours a few months before they are in, and I often pick up on major trends before they are in. This doesn't make me stylish. I means I am extremely sensitive to picking up and susceptible to internalising visual images and marketing. I don't think this says anything good about my personality.

Don't forget much of the stuff we find ourselves suddenly into has been forecast - otherwise there'd be no time to design and produce it all!

fallgilmore · 20/10/2023 11:12

Accessible fashion is there for everyone. You won't be as original as you think if someone can just go out and buy it for themselves. If you want to be unique make your own clothes.

starfleet · 20/10/2023 11:17

One of my work colleagues and I sometimes come in wearing the exact same thing. It doesn't bother me at all. We are the opposite in shape and size and wear our clothes differently. We have similar tastes - we often send links to items we think the other might like.

Last week all 4 of us in my office (including my director) came to work in a variation of the same outfit - black jumper, jeans and Dr Marten boots. No biggie

yarnwitch · 20/10/2023 11:19

I would be flattered, she obviously likes your style. Although I do get why it might annoy you, I had a friend be quite extreme with this in the past.
I would be kind about it though, she probably has has low confidence and doesn't know what to wear. She might not be consciously trying to copy you, just taking style inspiration a bit too far.

Threewheeler1 · 20/10/2023 11:25

Gettingbysomehow · 20/10/2023 09:42

I'd be thrilled if someone thought I looked so great they wanted to copy my style! As it is I usually look like a sack of potatoes 😂

Same! It's literally unthinkable that anyone would try to emulate my unique part vegetable/part cadaver look...😁

Floisme · 20/10/2023 11:28

I can see how it can be annoying, especially if you work in a small office, but isn't this how we evolve our style?

There are a very, very small number of outliers who are creative enough to dress in a totally original way, but most of us see something we like, be it in real life or on social media or on TV or in a film, and we try it out for ourselves.

That's what I do anyway although I'd try and be a bit more subtle about it than your colleague, or at least ask, 'I really love the colour of those shoes, do you mind if I get some the same?'

MetalFences · 20/10/2023 11:51

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 20/10/2023 10:05

Wear some deliberately unflattering clothes to work for a few days. If she sticks to your accent colour style, she just likes that style and isn’t a weird obsessive. If she also turns up looking like an Amish schoolteacher (or whatever you choose), she’s a loon and it’s time to run.

Although you could have some fun with it. Wear a short, unflattering wig to work and wax lyrical about how much you love your new haircut. Then when she turns up looking like Ann Widdecombe’s sister, whip yours off and say “Thank goodness that bet’s over”.

Don't be daft. She's not studiously copying her look on a daily basis down in some basement.

Why would the op want to wear unflattering clothes to work? Wouldn't the other lady just think 'Amanda doesn't look as good as she usually does'.

PlaidShirt · 20/10/2023 12:00

Surely “using one accent - be it shoes or accessories” is not as unusual or unique as you think. Isn’t that a fairly standard piece of style advice?

if you mean you wear a really out there, little-known-except-by-fashionistas designer or a specific sort of accessory like a jewelled elephant brooch (random eg!) and she’s then copying exactly that, then yes that’s a bit odd.

But if you’re wearing all navy clothes with bright green shoes and she’s coming in in a black suit with bright red shoes, that’s just a “look” rather than a unique style.

dontgobaconmyheart · 20/10/2023 12:08

Ultimately whether it's made into something 'creepy' or shaming for this other person, she can still wear whatever she likes, and buy whatever she likes. I highly doubt anyone's office-wear is reinventing the wheel here in the first place, even if it is a nice outfit or a nice pair of shoes. I'd just let it go, not make it into something bigger and enjoy wearing your own clothes the same as you did before.

Hoorahfordogs · 20/10/2023 12:10

Who wore it better though OP? Lol.

I think some women do struggle with a ‘work style’ - what did she dress like before? Has she bought a new wardrobe or just styling her own clothes differently?

FoghornUnicorn · 20/10/2023 12:11

This reminds me of Mean Girls when Regina tells Gretchen she can’t wear hoop earrings 😂

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