What clothes work if you carry your weight around your middle?

[ChienneDesFromages]

I’m 45 and have changed shape over the last year or so. I’m not huge- size 12, and average height, but carry all my excess weight around my middle (I know that’s not a healthy distribution.) I’ve lost lots of waist definition-I’m sort of rectangle shaped nowadays! However, I’m pleased to say I’ve still got lovely old legs.

I’m not into shapeless dresses as that seems to make it worse. I want to make the most of what’s left- not hide it under swathes of floral viscose.

I’m keen to try some different styles, but I’m a bit clueless. What styles work well for someone carrying a bit of perimenopausal heft (not unrelated to cheese consumption) around the middle?

Haven't RTFT (will go back and do it now though because I'm basically exactly the same shape as you OP and I need help too!) but can I just say how utterly frustrating it is whenever I see a thread like this about carrying weight on the tummy area how many people suggest empire line? I just don't get it - if you have any sort of tummy empire line ALWAYS makes you look pregnant. With my peri middle I would look like I was 8 months pregnant. With twins!

Jeans I like high waisted- Next lift, slim and shape.
Have you tried tops with an elasticated/ shirred botton giving a blouson effect?
Dresses- Phase eight Becca dress?
I’ve just bought https://www.phase-eight.com/product/miriam-chiffon-shirt-mini-dress-221656230.html#q=Miriam&is=true&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=221656230&pos=1

It's tricky. I'm on the hunt for a good pair of high waisted jeans/trousers. From my (quite extensive) trying on so far, I would say lots of jeans marked as "high rise" or "high waist" actually end right in the middle of my mum tum so look terrible when I try to tuck anything in as it draws attention to that area AND adds bulk. Also they have a habit of moving further down my waist through the day. So...whilst they may be high rise for some people (or indeed in comparison to other jeans) they don't really work for me. I tried on one pair of trousers that were truly high rise (actually ending just above my waist) and they were fantastically flattering. Unfortunately they were super, super wide leg, so not very practical. Maybe I just have a long torso...if anyone comes across any very high waist jeans or trousers let me know!!

https://www.next.co.uk/style/ST304979/C81814#C81814
Above belly button on me (huge apple shaped tummy)

For tops I suggest the Hush Mimi and Phase 8 Christina. Both batwing, suggested on here and really good for apples. Sorry, too busy to do links.

Thank you. I’m a great fan of the Mimi top. I’ll look at the Christina style.

I have had this problem my whole life. Even when I'm thin I have a rectangle shape, but my legs are always quite slender, so trust me, I have experimented extensively with different styles. These are my recommendations:

• short, lose fitting dresses. Baby doll style.
• Jeans with floaty blouses and slightly baggy jumpers
• Avoid tucking tops into trousers - it never looks good without a waist
• for the same reason avoid high waisted trousers and opt for ones that sit on or just above the hips. If you DO end up tucking tops in, it's the only way it can look decent
• For tops, lose fitting is great, but there is actually a way of creating the impression of a waist, as long as you are not carrying TOO much weight on your middle - getting tops that are not skin tight but slightly structured, so the shape is created for you
• avoid long skirts. Without a waist these look absolutely terrible
• Funnily enough, long floaty dresses can actually work, again as long as there's not too much weight around the middle and it's more of a shape issue.
• Structured blazers are great, especially with lose tops and tight trousers

Hope that helps

@mumofgirls35 I am just going out now in highwaisted jeans with a slightly loose shirt tucked in!😂I also wear long skirts .

I never wear baby doll or floaty blouses; it's just not me and makes me look like I am 9 months gone.

It's all very tricky and confusing.

I think a lot of it also depends on your height and your bust - I am very tall with a small chest so there are other dimensions that will impact what looks best on people. Maybe it's best to just experiment a bit!

I find that my tummy is accentuated by the fact that I have a very small bust. I'm considered 'very slim' by baby, but at 5'8" and 69 kilos, it's all on my waist.

I absolutely have 0 confidence with clothing, so I always look awful. But I see people who are much larger than me looking beautiful and elegant.

I think it depends a lot on thr size of your boobs and also ribcage- if you are tiny under the bust, maybe empire line and wrap dresses can accentuate that- but I am not! Also, some apples are big from the boobs down, and others are big from the belly button down, and that makes a big difference to what flatters!

I would wear things that draw attention to your slender arms and legs - that's what I do

@Lougle I am 5"7 and about 67 kgs with a small B cup bust too; this only draws attention to my tummy, I think. Every fat cell in my body has made its way to my waist.

I haven't read the full thread but I am apple shape and I look best in a well fitted pair of jeans or trousers and a loose-ish top that I French tuck at the front.

@ChienneDesFromages I am sure people will say these are aging but - post menopausal - M&S jeggings can fit comfortably round the tummy and yet be relatively slim on the leg & then just a question of which top to wear. They are not expensive and OK for day to day wear - happy to be contradicted

Hello, haven’t read whole thread but the blogger wearsmymoney is a bit older than you, has great legs and I think has complained about her waist before - although she’ looks v fit. She does a weekly outfit blog, range of clothes/ prices/ accessories/ occasions/ lifestyle and even if you don’t see anything you like on it, she’s very funny and honest. I swear her blog has helped me through some shitty years.

https://www.marksandspencer.com/collared-popover-blouse/p/clp60626923?intid=mobile_app_pdp_share this top would be great with pleather leggings

I find low or mid waisted jeans or trousers work best, either straight, slightly flared or wide legged with a tightish long top or a loose fitting shirt or top. I found some M and S jeans slightly flared that look nice. Blazers, especially long line ones are flattering. Nothing that stops at your waist. So many tops are too short! A good bra would be helpful, not that I've managed to find one that is comfortable. Bright colours either top or bottom and dark for the other half. Definitely natural fabrics too. It's so hard finding flattering styles when your body changes.

Also a round middled, peri-menopausal cheese eater, I'm a fan of a tunic dress and leggings with boots.

I found this style flattering,hid my stomach and i didnt feel paranoid the whole time whilst wearing it x

I am a similar shape. I have to avoid anything empire line as I look like a block. Shirt dresses are great and I have found that I need to add volume either with shoulder pads, puff sleeves, etc to give the impression that I am not utterly shapeless.

Maybe it just suits my own body shape then, as I have a round stomach, and when I wear empire line, I can forget my tummy rolls exist as it just floats over them, but the style isn't shapeless on me.

Thanks to all who shared ideas. I have since picked up two dresses that really work based on the advice. Hopefully, they can be dressed up or down and will see me few various winter events:

https://www.johnlewis.com/phase-eight-lecia-fit-and-flare-mini-dress-forest/p110864166

Luckily I’m little so the above mini dress is just above knee length on me.

This one is great value and really flattering:

https://www.marksandspencer.com/foil-printed-v-neck-knee-length-tiered-dress/p/clp60624096?prevPage=srp#intid=pid_pg1pip28g2r1c2

A 'V' neck can do wonders to slim your waist.

I have no idea why but it does, with or without some chunky jewelry or a scarf.
Compare these two similar dresses

https://shopperboard.com/Resplendently-Laced-Crochet-Midi-Dress-Navy-Blue/product/15276251

https://www.apricotonline.co.uk/lace-v-neck-midi-dress/5051839627031Size18.html

I'm a menopausal size 12 with all my weight round my middle.
I like short tiered dresses over leggings,
or Boho type tunics over very slim fit trousers.
I can't get away with anything that ends at the waist any more and waistbands/belts make me look fat.
It's hard when your shape changes and you have to find a new way to dress.