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Original poster

What clothes work if you carry your weight around your middle?

132 replies

ChienneDesFromages · 14/10/2023 16:58

I’m 45 and have changed shape over the last year or so. I’m not huge- size 12, and average height, but carry all my excess weight around my middle (I know that’s not a healthy distribution.) I’ve lost lots of waist definition-I’m sort of rectangle shaped nowadays! However, I’m pleased to say I’ve still got lovely old legs.

I’m not into shapeless dresses as that seems to make it worse. I want to make the most of what’s left- not hide it under swathes of floral viscose.

I’m keen to try some different styles, but I’m a bit clueless. What styles work well for someone carrying a bit of perimenopausal heft (not unrelated to cheese consumption) around the middle?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
19
spottedinthewilds · 14/10/2023 23:30

Firstly get a pair of very good shape wear knickers. Firm control if you can. Find comfy ones and not too small.

They make me look very very different!!

pizzaHeart · 15/10/2023 00:00

I have a tummy as well, it’s even worse (size 14), empire line makes me look very very pregnant. I also can’t wear high waist jeans and skirts - they don’t fit me. I look awful in midi dresses and wide trousers but I don’t wear heels so maybe why. I really struggle at the moment as any midi dresses, oversized tops with mom jeans or high waisted wide legged trousers are not me at all.
I prefer fit and flare dresses, shirt dresses, wrap dresses, midrise jeans, straight not very wide trousers (cargo style trousers are fine), a line skirts.
I think a lot depends on other factors: hair style, type of footwear, if you wear accessories.

HedgehogB · 15/10/2023 00:14

I’m your shape OP and your age (ok a couple of years older) , I have very good legs but quite a tummy. I get the rectangle problem. Empire line does NOT help , although V necks do as I have boobs. I have several Boden Ottoman dresses for work etc, fwiw they wash and dry well and need no ironing either. Great with knee high boots and tights to pull the tummy in a bit.

Daisychaisy · 15/10/2023 08:51

spottedinthewilds · 14/10/2023 23:30

Firstly get a pair of very good shape wear knickers. Firm control if you can. Find comfy ones and not too small.

They make me look very very different!!

Hi, can you advise on this? I have a few lurking in my wardrobe but I always chooose the smallest size to suck me in. (My mum used to do this!) But then they hurt and I don’t like to wear them… are they supposed to hurt? I’m between an 8 and a 10 but also with a menopausal tum! And I’m not tall so I’m not thin! Secondly, any brands work for you? Thanks so much!!

RestlessSparrow · 15/10/2023 08:52

I am the same. Last winter I gave up on dresses altogether and now have just a few fit and flare type left. I have found it difficult to find the right dresses amongst a sea of floral midi's, so just rule them out as I can't be bothered to sift through it all.

I now wear above the knee, slightly A-line skirts and tops that aren't tucked in. Anything tucked in just adds bulk, ditto belts and certain front fastening trousers. I find the skirt/top combo easier to adjust how it sits/hangs on me. With a dress you are relying too much on the cut, but the quality and range out there just doesn't seem good enough.

For me it's all in the front, my back still has some definition, so the tip from a pp about darts sewn into the back is good, I'll look out for that. For some reason I also find that a V neck helps. High necked tops just seem to emphasis my larger middle compared to my smaller chest and shoulders. I also agree about empire lines being a no-go, ditto any kind of ruching, tie waists or knotted waists - which Boden, Hush and the like seem to think helps our type - it doesn't, quite the opposite.

Lentilweaver · 15/10/2023 09:28

yes, a V neck helps, even though I am not even busty. But they are really hard to find in these days of high neck Victorian style dresses.

I never wear skirts. I thought they cut me in half. But maybe I should? Was thinking of a grey or beige knit skirt with a black semi-fitted polo.

PlumPeony · 15/10/2023 09:29

I like blazers, they would work with dresses as well but I usually wear with jeans/ trousers. I find midrise are better than high rise, although pain to try to find them as everything seems to be high rise at the moment!

WinterDeWinter · 15/10/2023 09:38

If you’re slightly overweight generally, I’ve found that fitted narrow shoulders works a bit like darts at the back - emphasising the slim bits makes the looseness at the front seem more intentional.

Original poster
ChienneDesFromages · 15/10/2023 09:40

PlumPeony · 15/10/2023 09:29

I like blazers, they would work with dresses as well but I usually wear with jeans/ trousers. I find midrise are better than high rise, although pain to try to find them as everything seems to be high rise at the moment!

I’ve been wearing blazers lately too. On the lookout for a nice, shaped velvet one. I’m gutted I gave away the one I bought second hand at Cambridge indoor market in 1998- everything now is so boxy.

I tried on 24 pairs of jeans in John Lewis yesterday. Mid rise was best for me too and I eventually opted for a not to skinny pair in indigo wash from And/Or. I wear them with a looser, fine knit cashmere jumper (I found a lovely coral one).

I was also looking for boots- but nothing seemed to fit right- which is perhaps another thread!

OP posts:
PlumPeony · 15/10/2023 09:43

24 pairs! 😮 That's dedication to find a pair! Did you try any flared (or bootcut) jeans?

Lentilweaver · 15/10/2023 09:46

My best fitting jeans are
slim jeans in a dark indigo from John Lewis for £10.
wideleg jeans, also dark wash, from M and S

Original poster
ChienneDesFromages · 15/10/2023 10:17

PlumPeony · 15/10/2023 09:43

24 pairs! 😮 That's dedication to find a pair! Did you try any flared (or bootcut) jeans?

I didn’t, but only because I’ve not got boots that would work with them yet.

I used to love my bootcuts!

OP posts:
RestlessSparrow · 15/10/2023 10:36

Lentilweaver · 15/10/2023 09:28

yes, a V neck helps, even though I am not even busty. But they are really hard to find in these days of high neck Victorian style dresses.

I never wear skirts. I thought they cut me in half. But maybe I should? Was thinking of a grey or beige knit skirt with a black semi-fitted polo.

I see what you mean and I wasn't much of a skirt wearer before either, but try some on and experiment a bit. Not all skirts work on me. Maybe this works on me because of the two halves thing? Drawing the eye to the top and bottom, but not the middle 😊Whereas I think the high neck, long sleeved midi dresses draw the eye to the centre more because it's the same all over with nothing to break it up. Dunno if that makes sense..

It's not perfect, but it's a lot better on me. It's certainly not fashionable, I don't tuck anything in, French or otherwise, but high street fashion looks pretty tired at the moment anyway.

RestlessSparrow · 15/10/2023 10:42

Lentilweaver · 15/10/2023 09:46

My best fitting jeans are
slim jeans in a dark indigo from John Lewis for £10.
wideleg jeans, also dark wash, from M and S

I bought those wide leg jeans in dark denim from M&S on Friday :) I didn't think wide leg suited me, but glad I tried them they are fab

Lentilweaver · 15/10/2023 11:48

I just posted this on another thread. Considering for myself. Not sure if I should show that much leg at 51, but I do have good legs ( like most apples).Dark Green Corduroy Tunic Shirt Dress | Roman UK

Dark Green Corduroy Tunic Shirt Dress | Roman UK

Shop for Dark Green Corduroy Tunic Shirt Dress at Roman.co.uk. Part of our Shirt Dresses collection.

https://www.roman.co.uk/corduroy-tunic-shirt-dress-14279028

cccarol · 15/10/2023 12:01

Im the same have a bit of a tummy definitely look best in black or dark wrap over tops really does hide the tummy xx

JessicaFletcherMSW · 15/10/2023 13:08

If you can get yourself to Berkshire and want to treat yourself to a personal shopper - try Cristina Holm. She’s helped with me with my whole wardrobe in similar circumstances. I’ve got from dreading getting dressed in the morning and wishing I didn’t have to go to a party to enjoying choosing which outfit I’m going to wear this time!

Mummy2Sienna · 15/10/2023 13:57

for jeans, if going wide/straight leg I find it good to size down so that the tummy section is tighter and sucks you in. Otherwise my lower stomach just balloons into the empty space and looks massive.

then a tucked in shirt but pulled out so it adds volume above the waist and hides my upper stomach.

Empire line makes me look 7 months pregnant and skirts with a waistband are a no-no. Bias cut work ok and disguise my stomach I think.

I’m a 10-12 with a big old belly

XiCi · 15/10/2023 19:08

Thisisthedawningoftheageofaquarius · 14/10/2023 17:39

not sure I agree about empire tbh - I think they can make you look preggers if you’re not skinny on your tummy.

Maybe try on OP and report back!!

Definitely agree with this. Empire line makes you look hideous, especially if you have big boobs. Highlights the stomach area and makes you look pregnant.

I've found short shift and shirt dresses are best OP. They skim over the stomach and accentuate slim legs.

WetsuitRevolutionary · 15/10/2023 19:22

RestlessSparrow · 15/10/2023 08:52

I am the same. Last winter I gave up on dresses altogether and now have just a few fit and flare type left. I have found it difficult to find the right dresses amongst a sea of floral midi's, so just rule them out as I can't be bothered to sift through it all.

I now wear above the knee, slightly A-line skirts and tops that aren't tucked in. Anything tucked in just adds bulk, ditto belts and certain front fastening trousers. I find the skirt/top combo easier to adjust how it sits/hangs on me. With a dress you are relying too much on the cut, but the quality and range out there just doesn't seem good enough.

For me it's all in the front, my back still has some definition, so the tip from a pp about darts sewn into the back is good, I'll look out for that. For some reason I also find that a V neck helps. High necked tops just seem to emphasis my larger middle compared to my smaller chest and shoulders. I also agree about empire lines being a no-go, ditto any kind of ruching, tie waists or knotted waists - which Boden, Hush and the like seem to think helps our type - it doesn't, quite the opposite.

I agree with all of this. Anything belted or waisted looks horrendous on me as it just draws attention to my problem area.

Littlemiss74 · 15/10/2023 21:54

Following as in the same boat exactly! Finding it so hard to find anything nice to wear

familyissues12345 · 15/10/2023 22:00

Following with interest, also carry my weight around my waist (can no longer blame pregnancy, my "baby" is almost 15!!)

RandomMess · 15/10/2023 22:09

I cannot believe someone suggested a wrap dress!!!

They absolutely make me look very pregnant!

Blinkityblonk · 15/10/2023 22:15

I don't wear dresses, almost never anyway. I think it's much more flattering to have separates. If you have a little tummy, then a dress can work, but once you have a barrel like look, I don't think any dresses are more flattering than separates. My fave look is black trousers/skirt, black cami and nice blazer, chunky boots often tan or light, to make it not look too corporate. I still wear lightly tailored blazers as they are incredibly flattering and give the illusion of a waist which doesn't happen with oversize ones.

The current fashions (wide legged trousers, puffy dresses, midi, oversize everything, crops tops) are awful for those of us who have a sizeable midriff, but I console myself that fashion moves on, I hate the thought of continuing with no tailoring and baggy clothes for ever.

Kangaroodance · 16/10/2023 04:38

I'm also here to suggest high waisted trousers! They have helped me feel much more confident. Also found shirt dresses are still good along with the fitted with a flare style dresses. As long as proper suck you in shapewear is worn, it hugely helps to disguise anything stomach related.

Tucking tops in and wearing blazers have also helped hugely. I would say that trying to hide is not the best way for me due to not being very tall. Layering has been good for me. Also decent bra which fits perfectly is another staple. Wide leg trousers also have helped