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Original poster

If you were a middle aged woman and wanted to look sexy as hell for a Christman party...

284 replies

Trainplan · 02/10/2023 16:14

Without looking ridiculous, what steps would you be taking now?

Don't panic, it's not work related!

I'm mid 50s, 5'"7, size 10, sometimes an 8 if it's not too fitted on the hips, well toned.

Blonde crop, a summer colour palate.

Don't get on very well with heels, don't usually wear much makeup. I usually aim for attractively understated. I'd quite like to make for of an impact at this one, but aware that could backfire. Middle aged sexy could translate as aging prostitute, so we'll try not to do that 😆

I suppose a dress is the place to start, where from?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
36
JustWhatWeDontNeed · 03/10/2023 10:29

DameEtna · 02/10/2023 21:57

This Reiss Noa dress is stunning

This. I'd go for something like this.

I like long dresses and I also like sleeves. Plunge necks or open backs are infinitely more sexy than short hemlines, in my opinion.

Have you had a look on The Outnet, Net a Porter or Wolf & Badger? The latter can be hit and miss but often has something I like.

You've inspired me to make sure I go for my run this evening. I'm far too lardy right now to feel good at any Christman parties :(

DeathRattleDazzle · 03/10/2023 10:41

We don't agree on the matter of jumpsuits OP, or on how much weight to give the fashion opinion of middle aged men 😂 but I hope you find something you love and feel amazing in.

You definitely seem drawn to red and form fitting so that helps narrow it down. That should definitely do the trick of making some heads turn. Maybe it's worth going into the shops themselves to get a better feel for them in real life?

AmazingSnakeHead · 03/10/2023 10:46

I am off to vinted to buy a leather skirt...

Redpaisley · 03/10/2023 11:08

crumpet · 02/10/2023 19:33

Jumpsuit?

Lovely. Where is it from?

AutumnAuntie · 03/10/2023 11:10

At the Christmas party at my spa last year the middle aged ladies (who all have lovely figures) wore a lot of just above the knee sparkly dresses. They all looked beautiful, a few wore something different such as velvet or trousers and a top.
For me the women in the short dresses that looked the nicest, especially those in fitted dresses. There were various sleeve lengths or no sleeves.

Flyinggeesei234 · 03/10/2023 11:23

CharlotteRumpling · 03/10/2023 09:58

I am so glad I don't have to date anymore. The idea of having to think sexy thoughts and watching his mouth.... I will probably be thinking of taking out the bins or whether we need toilet paper.😂

Nobody ‘has’ to do anything suggested in the thread! Just ignore if you don’t like it.

VWdieselnightmare · 03/10/2023 12:20

NatashaDancing · 03/10/2023 10:25

"Wow" and "make them sit up" = stereotypically sexy then?

Is this all your friends or just the male ones who like stereotypically sexy?

Show quote history

You said what I was trying to say less directly, @NatashaDancing

Clearly our idea of what constitutes sexy is rather different from the norm. If only I had OP's body, I'd love to follow the Diane Keaton route. Keaton dresses for herself, not for men. I think that's really sexy.

Diane Keaton

Before you continue

https://www.google.com/search?q=Diane+Keaton&client=safari&sca_esv=570303733&rls=en&tbm=isch&sxsrf=AM9HkKkLaE0C2243Evmlr-e7cr4bcM3zMg:1696331640173&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjepdXm39mBAxXAS0EAHUKRCTcQ_AUoAXoECAMQAw&biw=964&bih=653&dpr=2#imgrc=Ao-NSwMLLdugFM

Janieforever · 03/10/2023 12:30

Worldgonecrazy · 03/10/2023 09:22

Any party dress is going to look good on a 5’7” size 10. I’d go for stretchy and sparkly round neck and sleeveless, mid calf. Or if you want to show legs, long sleeve high neck with shorter length.

But ‘sexy’ is in the details and the attitude, not the dress.

Hair - sexy hair is glossy, healthy, bouncy. I take the Neales Yard frankincense vitamin tablets to give hair a bit extra. Also spray on shine and a good blow dry to give volume.

Eyes - a really good mascara to lengthen lashes or subtle falsies. Practice adding a twinkle to your eye when you smile (think dirty thoughts - it helps).

Mouth - gloss, but not too overdone. Watch his mouth occasionally when he talks to you - it signals you are thinking about kissing. Again, don’t overdo this or it may look like lip reading. Get a scale and polish a couple of days before for extra teeth shine confidence.

Neck / shoulders - stand tall. A good neck is sexy - maybe occasionally touch your neck - again this signals you are thinking about him kissing you there. Usual don’t overdo it warnings!

Hands - touch his arm, shoulder etc. if the opportunity presents itself.

High heels look sexier than flats but if you’re staying at one venue then take both, some heels for dinner and sitting down, some flats for dancing. Some men find Practicality sexy!

Dont wear perfume but try and think of lots of sexy thoughts. Perfume will mask your natural pheromones and should not be worn when on the pull, if you really must do perfume spray it on the palm of your hands so when you shake hands your scent will linger.

Good luck - I hope you have a fabulous evening!

Goodness me. That’s like something out of cosmo in the 80s😂 . She didn’t ask for advice on how to flirt.

op, sexy is about relaxed confidence. Being comfortable in your own skin, happy. It means something different to every one of us, including men. One man’s treasure is another man’s poison, and try hard is always a turn off. Antiquated advice like don’t wear perfume is ludicrous.

personally I’d go understated. . Not sheer bodysuits etc as per some of the suggestions, but a classic, tailored, well fitting,body skimming (as opposed to clinging) dress.

The Karen Millen one is a good shape. Someone posted a similar Reiss one. For you if you don’t like black try teal or an emerald green, with gold sandals and bangle. And yes perfume, a discreet one that people can only smell when they get close. Not a clear the room thing,

you don’t need to be stand out or try hard to be sexy or to pull. What you do need to do is look confident, elegant, fun,

sometjing like these would also work.

https://www.jjshouse.co.uk/sheath-column-high-neck-illusion-tea-length-lace-cocktail-dress-016286369-g286369?currency=GBP&utm_term=286369&utm_size=10&country=GB

https://www.silkfred.com/womens/clothing/dresses/midi-dresses/vesper247/vesper-letty-emerald-green-midaxi-dress?locale=en-GB&srsltid=AfmBOopgGXywkGvXEytetUmkhn9BaKQgg2IDmWRw0rV9la8aPonUpBMuTOk

https://www.windsorstore.com/products/fine-like-wine-satin-sleeveless-midi-dress-051012593039?variant=41291300896819&country=GB

Vesper Letty Emerald Green Midaxi Dress | Vesper247 | SilkFred

Looking for Midi Dresses? Call off the search with our Vesper Letty Emerald Green Midaxi Dress. Free UK shipping over £75. Shop unique fashion at SilkFred

https://www.silkfred.com/womens/clothing/dresses/midi-dresses/vesper247/vesper-letty-emerald-green-midaxi-dress?locale=en-GB&srsltid=AfmBOopgGXywkGvXEytetUmkhn9BaKQgg2IDmWRw0rV9la8aPonUpBMuTOk

vlo · 03/10/2023 12:37

Janieforever · 03/10/2023 12:30

Goodness me. That’s like something out of cosmo in the 80s😂 . She didn’t ask for advice on how to flirt.

op, sexy is about relaxed confidence. Being comfortable in your own skin, happy. It means something different to every one of us, including men. One man’s treasure is another man’s poison, and try hard is always a turn off. Antiquated advice like don’t wear perfume is ludicrous.

personally I’d go understated. . Not sheer bodysuits etc as per some of the suggestions, but a classic, tailored, well fitting,body skimming (as opposed to clinging) dress.

The Karen Millen one is a good shape. Someone posted a similar Reiss one. For you if you don’t like black try teal or an emerald green, with gold sandals and bangle. And yes perfume, a discreet one that people can only smell when they get close. Not a clear the room thing,

you don’t need to be stand out or try hard to be sexy or to pull. What you do need to do is look confident, elegant, fun,

sometjing like these would also work.

https://www.jjshouse.co.uk/sheath-column-high-neck-illusion-tea-length-lace-cocktail-dress-016286369-g286369?currency=GBP&utm_term=286369&utm_size=10&country=GB

https://www.silkfred.com/womens/clothing/dresses/midi-dresses/vesper247/vesper-letty-emerald-green-midaxi-dress?locale=en-GB&srsltid=AfmBOopgGXywkGvXEytetUmkhn9BaKQgg2IDmWRw0rV9la8aPonUpBMuTOk

https://www.windsorstore.com/products/fine-like-wine-satin-sleeveless-midi-dress-051012593039?variant=41291300896819&country=GB

Show quote history

That’s a nice dress!

2ndMrsdeWinter · 03/10/2023 12:50

And that’s why this thread is so much fun @CardboardHat. it’s really interesting to see all the different takes on ‘sexy’.

In fairness, my dp doesn’t love lots of the clothes I wear, but I know he finds me very sexy because he tells me so (and because I believe that a woman wearing what she feels good in FOR HER is more sexy than any LBD can ever be).

WinnieFosterFights · 03/10/2023 13:14

Floisme · 03/10/2023 08:18

I wasn't going to get involved. This is not my forte. At all. But I can't stand by and say nothing while there are posters still trying to talk the op into wearing a jumpsuit.

The brief we have been given by the op is 'sexy as hell', not stylish or fashionable or arty or professional or a night out with the girls or meeting your ex after 20 years. And never in my life have I met or heard of a man who had a thing for women in jumpsuits. Of course the odd one will exist but why take that chance? Even if he turned out to be an outlier who could see into the op's authentic soul, she'd probably have to show him how to take it off.

For what it's worth, I'm team tuxedo. They worked in the 90s, which was the last time I pulled.

I agree with you about the jumpsuit Grin They are not sexy Christmas.

As for tuxedos .... I'm a similar size as the OP and have a beautiful tuxedo but it doesn't really say sexy Christmas to me either. I think it's a bit dated now. It's more cater-waiter than showstopper.

diamondpony80 · 03/10/2023 13:28

Trainplan · 02/10/2023 17:03

Isn't that a bit mumsy? Nothing wrong with mumsy if that's what you like, but not what I'm aiming for on this occasion 😆

Show quote history

Yes! Frumpy is the word I was going to use. Definitely not a good Christmas party look.

Original poster
Trainplan · 03/10/2023 13:53

VWdieselnightmare · 03/10/2023 13:26

That picture 5 years old, she was 10 years younger than me and with the best will in the world, even Kate Moss is going to look ridiculous at a suburban dinner dance with her breasts actually out. The same look, slightly more modest, doesn't work in the same way, at all.

OP posts:
Pigtailsandall · 03/10/2023 13:57

Ah OP, I saw something last winter I nearly bought for a Christmas party but didn't and still regret - it was a dark red jumpsuit with a waistcoast-like plunging neckline and a trouser bit that was fitted at the hip and then widened ever so slightly, it felt a bit 70s but was absolutely show-stopping. Would have shown off your shoulders perfectly. I can't find it anywhere anymore.

Jumpsuits can be very sexy - I wore one the first time I met my partner and he still longingly thinks back to it.

Personally I think sexy would be either floor-length and drapey, or very short if you have the legs (I don't). I hate mid-length dresses as they seem to be the worst of both worlds. But if I were a size 10, I'd wear either leather trousers or leather skirt with a plunging silk top.

Hope you have a wonderful time and several jaws drop to the floor!

NatashaDancing · 03/10/2023 14:01

VWdieselnightmare · 03/10/2023 12:20

You said what I was trying to say less directly, @NatashaDancing

Clearly our idea of what constitutes sexy is rather different from the norm. If only I had OP's body, I'd love to follow the Diane Keaton route. Keaton dresses for herself, not for men. I think that's really sexy.

Diane Keaton

Show quote history

Yes I agree. me I can't reconcile that OP later said just want to make people who know me as wife, mother, widow, sensible sit up a bit. Have a bit of a laugh.

I don't really get why that means that narrow version of "sexy". Personally many of these "sexy" dresses are to my eyes pretty dull.

This was posted on another thread. It's got a "sit up a bit" factor. And if "sexy" is your bag, heels and a black silk camisole would do that.

Ghospel trousers
Ghospel jacket

vlo · 03/10/2023 14:05

NatashaDancing · 03/10/2023 14:01

Yes I agree. me I can't reconcile that OP later said just want to make people who know me as wife, mother, widow, sensible sit up a bit. Have a bit of a laugh.

I don't really get why that means that narrow version of "sexy". Personally many of these "sexy" dresses are to my eyes pretty dull.

This was posted on another thread. It's got a "sit up a bit" factor. And if "sexy" is your bag, heels and a black silk camisole would do that.

Ghospel trousers
Ghospel jacket

Edited
Show quote history

well because there’s a guy there that she fancies, and that’s the vibe she’s shooting for, because that’s what she wants and that’s how she feels 🤷🏻

NatashaDancing · 03/10/2023 14:13

well because there’s a guy there that she fancies, and that’s the vibe she’s shooting for, because that’s what she wants and that’s how she feels

Has she actually said that? That it's a specific man?

Original poster
Trainplan · 03/10/2023 14:15

Bugger me, I only asked about party dresses, I'm not sure all the judgement and "education" was needed.

It's not about a man, actually, in fact it probably more for me than anything I've ever done. I feel like I'm ready to re launch myself and for one night only I'd like to create a reaction. If that's Ok with y'all Grin

OP posts:
grass67 · 03/10/2023 14:16

Ghospel trousers

Look like PJ's to me 😂

NatashaDancing · 03/10/2023 14:18

vlo · 03/10/2023 14:05

well because there’s a guy there that she fancies, and that’s the vibe she’s shooting for, because that’s what she wants and that’s how she feels 🤷🏻

Show quote history

Actually the OP said nothing like that. Posters have assumed she's after a specific man. This is what OP said.

This is a do with people I know well and love very much. They know I can do sensible and stylish, they know I can do a trouser suit, I'm just planning to have some fun by showing them something completely different.

I don't really want to attract any man

Azaleah · 03/10/2023 14:19

In my late 40s I had to attend this posh Christmas party organised by very wealthy people, unlike me.

I wanted to look sexy but I knew I couldn't buy anything that would impress them (aka men) without breaking my budget.

I wore Zara tight fit shorts (champagne), a shiny gold top, a Calvin Klein suit (black) and gold platform sandals (great for dancing). I didn't buy them for the party, by the way. Almost no makeup apart from dark red lipstick (Lancôme).

I have great legs, and nothing else really 😂 and I love dancing.

The suit covered almost the entire length of the shorts, I guess that was the sexy bit 😂

I was the talk of the night.

OceanSafari · 03/10/2023 14:19

The first one is great! Elegant and the cut around shoulders should look great with a shorter hairstyle.

grass67 · 03/10/2023 14:20

Trainplan · Yesterday 16:26

BeggyMitchell · Yesterday 16:25

Christman Party!? Freudian-slip there OP?
I know 😆

Page one...it took 8 pages for Op to clarify!

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