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Original poster

If you were a middle aged woman and wanted to look sexy as hell for a Christman party...

284 replies

Trainplan · 02/10/2023 16:14

Without looking ridiculous, what steps would you be taking now?

Don't panic, it's not work related!

I'm mid 50s, 5'"7, size 10, sometimes an 8 if it's not too fitted on the hips, well toned.

Blonde crop, a summer colour palate.

Don't get on very well with heels, don't usually wear much makeup. I usually aim for attractively understated. I'd quite like to make for of an impact at this one, but aware that could backfire. Middle aged sexy could translate as aging prostitute, so we'll try not to do that 😆

I suppose a dress is the place to start, where from?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
36
Worldgonecrazy · 03/10/2023 09:49

MayIDestroyYou · 03/10/2023 09:37

@Worldgonecrazy the OP is more than half a century old! Do you honestly believe she needs your culled from ‘The Rules’ or some other dated tome instructions on how to conduct herself in mixed company?

Extraordinary …

I’m also over half a century old! The advice comes from the tactics I have found successful in my dating life and they work as well for the over 50s as they do for the under 30s.

Physical attraction/flirting signals are never dated (unlike fashion).

Barnowlsandbluebells · 03/10/2023 09:49

MayIDestroyYou · 03/10/2023 09:37

@Worldgonecrazy the OP is more than half a century old! Do you honestly believe she needs your culled from ‘The Rules’ or some other dated tome instructions on how to conduct herself in mixed company?

Extraordinary …

Particularly 'practice adding a twinkle to your eye when you smile'. Eurgh.

Aerin1999 · 03/10/2023 09:50

MayIDestroyYou · 03/10/2023 09:37

@Worldgonecrazy the OP is more than half a century old! Do you honestly believe she needs your culled from ‘The Rules’ or some other dated tome instructions on how to conduct herself in mixed company?

Extraordinary …

Excellent and hilarious post 😀

Worldgonecrazy · 03/10/2023 09:52

Barnowlsandbluebells · 03/10/2023 09:49

Particularly 'practice adding a twinkle to your eye when you smile'. Eurgh.

Show quote history

Did you not know that curling eyelashes/mascara is designed to allow more light into the eye therefore adding a twinkle? You say ‘eurgh’ and I say ‘backed by research and marketing’. 😎

Barnowlsandbluebells · 03/10/2023 09:55

Worldgonecrazy · 03/10/2023 09:52

Did you not know that curling eyelashes/mascara is designed to allow more light into the eye therefore adding a twinkle? You say ‘eurgh’ and I say ‘backed by research and marketing’. 😎

Show quote history

I don't need to 'practice' anything to be attractive to men. The very idea of it is outdated and rather sad, as is the rest of that post.

CharlotteRumpling · 03/10/2023 09:58

I am so glad I don't have to date anymore. The idea of having to think sexy thoughts and watching his mouth.... I will probably be thinking of taking out the bins or whether we need toilet paper.😂

Original poster
Trainplan · 03/10/2023 10:00

CharlotteRumpling · 03/10/2023 09:58

I am so glad I don't have to date anymore. The idea of having to think sexy thoughts and watching his mouth.... I will probably be thinking of taking out the bins or whether we need toilet paper.😂

I don't "have" to date and I didn't for 30 years, but then he died. But nice smugness. I've just decided to have a bit of a play.

OP posts:
GonnaGetGoingReturns · 03/10/2023 10:03

I personally have never been able to do the tux jacket trousers look as I’m shorter (5 ft 5) though I did like a nice trouser suit when younger. I own one jumpsuit which I’ve hardly worn. I just don’t think I’m the type for those looks at all. I do have a sequin tux jacket though.

I’ve embraced midi dresses too now.

CharlotteRumpling · 03/10/2023 10:03

Clearly I have just inserted my foot straight into my mouth. I am sorry. I only meant that dating seems so complicated these days and those rules seem mad. I wasn't trying to be smug about it. I don't think you need to do any of those things.

YRGAM · 03/10/2023 10:05

I saw this thread in the trending so apologies if this input isn't welcome, but I'd like to register a hard disagree that men don't find jumpsuits sexy

grass67 · 03/10/2023 10:05

OP to be fair, I don't think she was meaning to be smug, she was rolling her eyes are the ridiculous lengths that the PP has suggested.

A bit of background goes a long way, one of my favourite S&B threads was the lady who was going to a reunion and had lost weight and was looking for tips. It was such a supportive thread. Sorry you lost you DH.

Worldgonecrazy · 03/10/2023 10:05

Barnowlsandbluebells · 03/10/2023 09:55

I don't need to 'practice' anything to be attractive to men. The very idea of it is outdated and rather sad, as is the rest of that post.

Show quote history

OP wants to be more attractive and sexy to men (a particular man by the sounds of it). You don’t. So why are you even on this thread?

I hate the MN undercurrent that women over 50s shouldn’t want or try to be sexy and wear baggy shapeless unflattering clothes in the latest fashion.

Blinkityblonk · 03/10/2023 10:07

@Trainplan I'm a widow too! And in my early fifties. I hear you! It's all very well for those who are not interested in dating to deride those interested in looking their absolute best, for some reason on here, people don't like the idea of looking sexy, I don't really know why. It's nice to look nice, it's nice for your women friends to like your clothes, a stranger to give you a compliment (mine mainly come from women) and also to attract men/women if you want to, whatever your age. Going out on a big night out can be daunting if you haven't done that for a while, especially if someone you like is going to be there.

Barnowlsandbluebells · 03/10/2023 10:07

@Worldgonecrazy I'm on this thread because I'm entitled to an opinion, as is everyone else. Just because you happen not to agree with the points I've raised doesn't make my comments any less valid.

Blinkityblonk · 03/10/2023 10:09

Plus, OP, as we well know, having lost our husbands, the time for living is now. If you aren't going to wear that fab dress now, when are you going to wear it? We aren't ageing backwards!

vlo · 03/10/2023 10:14

I think everyone who has posted is trying to be helpful and supportive of the OP’s aims, different people will be coming from different angles and have different approaches, think it’s a shame that threads on MN generally descend into pissiness and snark at some point. Someone else’s approach might seem daft or outdated, don’t think it’s cause to take umbrage.

Worldgonecrazy · 03/10/2023 10:15

Blinkityblonk · 03/10/2023 10:09

Plus, OP, as we well know, having lost our husbands, the time for living is now. If you aren't going to wear that fab dress now, when are you going to wear it? We aren't ageing backwards!

😎😎Absolutely!

VWdieselnightmare · 03/10/2023 10:16

The question that keeps coming up for me, looking at these recommendations, is whether you want to attract the kind of man whose attention is easily caught by the sight of cleavage or thigh and thinks that sequins=sexy, or a man who finds you (your mind and experience as well as your body) attractive? If you just want sex then, men being the visually-motivated creatures they are, you can attract one any day of the week using the leather skirt/ boobs/ thigh split route. But if you want someone who'll appreciate you for who you are and who, with luck, will be a better long-term prospect, then perhaps you don't put everything out there on the buffet, as it were. Some of the best men I've known would run a mile from a woman wearing all the sequins and leather and traditionally 'sexy' outfits here because they'd regard them as too obvious.

Blinkityblonk · 03/10/2023 10:19

Getting to know someone for who they are works well if you see a lot of the person. If you want to shift in their perspective to someone datable, and you don't see them often, I'd go all out and if it didn't work, so be it. Anyway, being who I am is wearing attractive clothes that flatter my figure so in my case these things are not incompatible. I do agree the Op shouldn't go in lace/split and leather all in one outfit though...

Original poster
Trainplan · 03/10/2023 10:19

I don't really want to attract any man 😆 certainly not someone in it for the long term. I just want to make people who know me as wife, mother, widow, sensible sit up a bit. Have a bit of a laugh.

And having been married to a perfectly decent man for 30 years, you really are kidding yourself if you think the decent ones don't appreciate a tight dress and a bit of leg 😆

OP posts:
mrsmingleton · 03/10/2023 10:19

How about a velvet trouser suit?

mrsmingleton · 03/10/2023 10:22

Trainplan · 03/10/2023 09:24

I like the simple style red ones.

NatashaDancing · 03/10/2023 10:25

Trainplan · 03/10/2023 10:19

I don't really want to attract any man 😆 certainly not someone in it for the long term. I just want to make people who know me as wife, mother, widow, sensible sit up a bit. Have a bit of a laugh.

And having been married to a perfectly decent man for 30 years, you really are kidding yourself if you think the decent ones don't appreciate a tight dress and a bit of leg 😆

"Wow" and "make them sit up" = stereotypically sexy then?

Is this all your friends or just the male ones who like stereotypically sexy?

CardboardHat · 03/10/2023 10:29

2ndMrsdeWinter · 02/10/2023 22:57

If I wore your first suggestion I would look like a grandmother from the 80’s!