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Original poster

Can we stop commenting on peoples figures please ( unless they ask)

123 replies

Sidebeforeself · 21/09/2023 21:55

I see so many threads on here when people post a picture of an outfit and then other posters respond with comments like “You have a fab figure”. I know people are just being nice, but thats not what people are asking . It’s so reductive - we should be able to say “ooh I prefer the green dress” and leave it at that . It’s different if someone is asking for comments about their figure, but if its a general question about the clothes that are wearing , it’s so unnecessary.

OP posts:
fuckssaaaaake · 22/09/2023 16:17

Ugh how utterly miserable

Alargeoneplease89 · 22/09/2023 16:22

Why don't people stop wearing the dress and just draw a diagram ... that's what MN is really about

Lentilweaver · 22/09/2023 16:24

Alargeoneplease89 · 22/09/2023 16:22

Why don't people stop wearing the dress and just draw a diagram ... that's what MN is really about

😂

Doggymummar · 22/09/2023 16:28

I was always told to not be mean, so if someone says do you like this dress and I don't Rather than say that I will say, you legs look great in it, or shows off your waist.

Perhaps I should just say no, it's a terrible dress,........

Westfacing · 22/09/2023 16:38

Someone posts a photo of herself in a dreary/too tight/baggy/awful colour outfit asking for opinions - I think it's nice if a reply says you have a fab figure/nice legs/great hair, etc., but that dress doesn't suit you, then goes on to suggest something in a link.

All part of the conversation!

MartyFunkhouser · 22/09/2023 17:42

I don’t really see a problem. Apart from you’ll get an OP posting a pic and looking like a sack of spuds yet lots of ‘you have a fab figure’ comments will still be forthcoming. So on MN, it’s utterly meaningless.

NatashaDancing · 22/09/2023 18:29

Leggytigberk · 22/09/2023 15:08

Do you seriously believe that I choose a dress because of its colour or fabric texture only. I think I have a good shape for my age and height, even if it is a case of "nice tits shame about the face" please notice the skill in my choice. It is part of the reasons we like being female. I do not want to be a non male.

ps are you sure you don't want to police the thread.

It's the difference in approach.

Even when I was a size 6 my choice was based on the colour, shape and fabric of the dress. I've never been interested in whether it gave me " nice tits".

I don't understand the rest of your post tbh.

Shadowonasun · 22/09/2023 18:30

I hate the hypocrisy far more.

Someone quite significantly overweight posts a picture and all the faux gushing starts: 'OP, you should show your TINY waist' and the like. I mean. What's the point, who are you kidding? OP is probably not blind and owns the mirror. They can look stylish, beautiful, nice, trendy, sexy, youthful, modern, fresh, edgy and multiple other ways, but size 16 upwards do not have TINY waists. Why lie? Just say they look great/their outfit is fab.

OR

If a poster with a truly 'fab figure' and 'tiny' waist posts, then everyone becomes hypercritical all of the sudden. Dress too small (when it clearly isn't), 'try hard', 'not elegant', etc. Meow. I remember a thread when a woman in her 20s posted a pic of her in a red short-ish, form-fitting dress. She was going to a romantic dinner with her partner. She actually did have a fantastic figure and legs for days. She was sneered at and suggested shapeless TOAST sacks, stuff from Boden, tents from ME+EM and the like, Prairie dresses with denim/biker jackets, silk shirts with palazzo trousers. Woman in her 20s (!!!!) going on a date with her partner.

sonjadog · 22/09/2023 19:27

Does everyone get a comment about their fab figure, or just slim people? For example, I have the figure of a beach ball. If I post a thread about me in a dress, would people still give me compliments?

honkersbonkers38 · 22/09/2023 19:27

If people want the dress and only the dress commented on they would post a pic of it on a model or a hanger - as many do. What they are asking is "does it suit ME?". And since they usually blank out their face and the light is rarely good for colour - WHAT else is there to say???
We cannot judge the fabric or the quality or the stitching or the way it moves and drapes - so again the "advice" is very limited. It showcases your long legs/small waist is more than likely the reason OP has chosen it over something that doesn't anyway.
But I get that some people might not like it.

donkra · 22/09/2023 19:30

NatashaDancing · 22/09/2023 08:30

Oh this exactly.

I don't have a problem with posters saying "you have a fab figure" but it's the assumption that the only criteria for choosing what to wear is something to "show off your fab figure".

Show quote history

Exactly. It just makes you sound like someone's nan. "You should show off your lovely figure! Maybe in a nice wrap dress?"

PaprikaPlease · 22/09/2023 19:37

You’re basically correct but I also don’t hugely see the harm. Anyone would like hearing they have a fab figure! This is S&B and beauty is shallow. I don’t have a fab figure sadly for me but wouldn’t feel upset if someone else is complimented for theirs. Good for them. They probably go to the gym and don’t slob around eating cheesy mashed potato out of a soup bowl (Yum!)

NatashaDancing · 22/09/2023 20:28

sonjadog · 22/09/2023 19:27

Does everyone get a comment about their fab figure, or just slim people? For example, I have the figure of a beach ball. If I post a thread about me in a dress, would people still give me compliments?

Yes you would.

Unless your dress was all or any of
"a frumpy sack/ Amish/ Quaker/ Little House on the Prairie/ Toast" in which case you'd get told it was hiding your curves.

smallshinybutton · 22/09/2023 21:16

Fashion isn't all about fitting to a figure. It's an art

Janettttt · 22/09/2023 21:50

I do think there’s a need to consider height, body shape, colouring etc when considering what looks stylish. It’s all very well liking an item of clothing but unless it’s considered in the context of who’s wearing it, and maybe the occasion it’s intended for, how can anyone possibly comment on whether it’s a stylish or beautiful look?

I can’t see the point in investing in an item of clothing if it does nothing for my body shape, colouring, personality, etc.

Astrabees · 22/09/2023 22:22

Compliments are lovely, if I am lucky enough to get one it really makes my day, OP, you are a bit of a kill joy.

Polis · 22/09/2023 22:36

Does everyone get a comment about their fab figure, or just slim people? For example, I have the figure of a beach ball. If I post a thread about me in a dress, would people still give me compliments

Almost certainly.

You wouldn’t need to post a picture showing your whole body. A picture of just your hands or feet is enough to elicit a fab figure compliment.

MartyFunkhouser · 22/09/2023 22:58

sonjadog · 22/09/2023 19:27

Does everyone get a comment about their fab figure, or just slim people? For example, I have the figure of a beach ball. If I post a thread about me in a dress, would people still give me compliments?

I would almost guarantee it.

Same as every OP that says (idiotically) 'What colour are my eyes?' will get loads of compliments on their utterly unremarkable eyes.

WandaWonder · 23/09/2023 00:26

I do wonder if all these 'oh you will look wonderful no matter what' fake compliments actually is any good

'Oh look like the back end of a bus in that outfit but me saying your beautiful makes total sense'

I genuinely don't care if I get compliments or not but I never ever want fake ones, and if I ever ask for opinions I want honesty

Aidaa · 23/09/2023 08:25

The majority of posters being told they have a fab figure/great legs/tiny waist are obviously overweight. More than 50% of adults in the UK are overweight and there is probably the same representation in this chat room if not even more as a slim person with a genuinely good figure who can wear anything doesn’t need to post pictures to be reassured. Many people have lost any reference of what a healthy weight/figure is which is why we get these systematic compliments. I don’t think it’s hypocritical per se.
I also think sometimes these compliments are relative - an “apple shape” posts a picture in an outfit and gets told she’s got good legs … relative to the rest.

NatashaDancing · 23/09/2023 09:26

Aidaa · 23/09/2023 08:25

The majority of posters being told they have a fab figure/great legs/tiny waist are obviously overweight. More than 50% of adults in the UK are overweight and there is probably the same representation in this chat room if not even more as a slim person with a genuinely good figure who can wear anything doesn’t need to post pictures to be reassured. Many people have lost any reference of what a healthy weight/figure is which is why we get these systematic compliments. I don’t think it’s hypocritical per se.
I also think sometimes these compliments are relative - an “apple shape” posts a picture in an outfit and gets told she’s got good legs … relative to the rest.

But the question posed is often "is this suitable for/ can I wear this to x event" not "does this suit me?"

The thread mentioned on here was the former question but instead of answering the question loads of posters launched into the " it doesn't show off your fab figure" guff .

Which (a) didn't answer the question (b) made erroneous assumptions about the poster and (c ) is actually slightly insulting in a patronising "the poster doesn't know what's good for her" way. That poster had chosen a dress which wasn't figure hugging - it's rather pointless to tell her she should choose one which is.

Fallingthroughclouds · 23/09/2023 09:34

Sidebeforeself · 22/09/2023 08:56

My point is more about dont we get enough unsolicited comments on our bodies? I think it’s different if someone is saying “ Do these shoes make my ankles look fat?” ..But no , in general Im not a misery guts and , of course compliments aren’t rude. But Im just saying I find it uncomfortable when a discussion about fashion becomes strangers commenting on someone’s body when they haven’t asked for it.

You are miserable. Its just a compliment and it's pleasant. Usually nobody asks for compliments. Are you saying people should only give them if directly requested?

I can't quite believe people are moaning about compliments now. With all the things going on in the world that you could criticise and take umbridge with, to pick up on these pleasantries is really bizarre. The most petty, unnecessary post I have seen on mumsnet.

Original poster
Sidebeforeself · 23/09/2023 09:45

Im not clear Falling .. are you disagreeing with me?

OP posts:
Fallingthroughclouds · 23/09/2023 09:47

@Sidebeforeself obviously. I think it's pretty mean spirited that you are trying to stop people giving compliments.

Oakbeam · 23/09/2023 10:03

Does everyone get a comment about their fab figure, or just slim people? For example, I have the figure of a beach ball. If I post a thread about me in a dress, would people still give me compliments

Very likely. I think it is assumed that people with fab figures don’t need compliments or are only posting a picture to fish for them.