Office wear for big boobs - help!

[Peregrine93]

Hello, in danger of ranting here but new to mumsnet and don’t want to make a name for myself.

Please can anyone offer any advice or recommendations for office wear that looks good with a larger chest?

Im 34J and currently hating my boobs at the moment. Nothing looks good. I’m a single mum going back to work for the first time so unfortunately starting my work wardrobe from scratch and don’t have the biggest budget. I’m also working in quite a male office so want to try minimise my boobs as much as possible as want to make a good first impression and stay professional but also don’t want to look frumpy or matronly as I’m only 30 - maybe this is impossible. Please help!

I'm a man, but also a senior manager. You should feel free to wear what you feel comfortable in. You should not feel you have to adapt to suit a male oriented environment. I understand why you might though (sadly). If you get inappropriate comments / attention, go straight to HR. Decent managers will not tolerate this. Professional doesn't have to be frumpy, you will perform better in the workplace if you are happy and comfortable.

It is depressing that this is even a consideration for you.

I have a uniform for the office to minimize boobage. V neck vest top in black or white, tailored jacket in bright colour, black skirt or trousers. Then lots of accessories away from boob area. Annoying when it's hot but thankfully it's cooler now.

Well thank you for saying this. I hope all managers are more like you!

Thank you for the recommendation. What type of accessories do you wear normally? Obviously necklaces are not an option!

It’s a nightmare. I just had a reduction because I was a 34 JJ. I went for a vest top with halfway buttoned up shirt to give at least a small amount of definition, likewise vest/tank/t shirts with cardigan over the top to make them less in your face. Seasalt and fatface are not bad for tshirts and tops that have enough space and give for fitting boobs in without being totally massive round the tummy. All the best with it, it’s sucks. Now I am just a similar level of chubby all the way down which I am quite happy about 😂

Ahhh how did the reduction go? I’ve considered it before but never taken the next steps

I have a few dresses from Jolie Moi. They are a good length, decent quality material and cut, fit well over bust without being a sack, and many have pockets! They wash well.

I do wear necklaces, lots of them to draw the eye up. Also silky scarves worn long to elongate. Big silver earrings and bangles. I follow people on tiktok for ideas. Type in mid size style for more rounded women.

@Peregrine93 I had problem with one of them and infection but that is unusual and now fine and I am a solid 16 all the way down which makes life a lot easier. There are a couple of current threads called Ive had a breast reduction AMA - look for bigtitsbetty who either started or contributed to it that has kids of perspectives on how it’s gone for quite a few of us.

Hey OP I can't help you out but just wanted to lend my support. It's really shit. I found similar to PPs that tighter with looser on top helped. Big earrings and/or bracelets. I also went for trousers because it lengthens the lines rather than a skirt.

I also had a reduction. It was due to ongoing, debilitating back problems, not cosmetic reasons. However, the difference in how I was treated by men was noticeable the first day I went out, when they were still "swollen", before the "sag" set in 😅. Best thing I've ever done. I'd do it again if I needed. Have less sensation which changes intimacy and is a shame. But it's definitely worth it. Suddenly men looked at my face first...

32JJ. Swear by tailored blazer style jacket, seasalt or Hobbs dresses. I cling like a limpet to flattering tops to wear with wide legged trousers. Silky, but not thin, shell tops suit me best, but finding them with sleeves is near impossible.

Do you need to wear a jacket? I find them the least flattering garment for big boobs.

I prefer dresses (and not wrap dresses which everyone always says to wear as I think the bisecting line across your chest draws more attention). In autumn/winter a nice black top/jumper with a brighter skirt will divert attention.

Solid colours look less frumpy on me than patterns - especially florals - but definitely avoid big flowers or the worst of all ... butterflies

Agree re jacket. I wear layers all year round underneath a top or dress (fine t shirt and or vest) then you don't need a jumper/jacket/cardi as much. Can wear a light scarf if air con

Thanks so much for all the advice. My boss said I have to be smart and wear heels but didn’t mention anything specifically about a jacket.

I also found that jackets don’t look good on big boobs but maybe I am buying the wrong type of jackets.

agree re butterflys and flowers!! Will try to avoid them.

I like the idea of layers and dresses.

I have thought about a reduction before but never followed through with it because seems like such a serious procedure

Not as big as you, but I tend to just cover - plain (normally black) long sleeve/mid sleeve jersey tops in a boat neck or regular tshirt neck, then more formal and colourful/patterned lower half - draws the eye to the lower half and crucially for me, im not spending all day adjusting/checking my top half like I do with any non stretchy fabrics or button up tops etc.
If you have to be more formal and wear dresses I go for balance - something that doesn't cling on the lower half but skims over or flares out a little.
I also learnt to take in the waist on shirts on YouTube- you really don't need to do a perfect job, and it means you can buy the size you need for your boobs but still give yourself a waist.
It is a pain, good luck!

@HappiestSleeping agree with your theory, however it is a real problem for most women to get leered at, plus cat called and harassed especially in the street. Its awful but it starts for girls. We should be able to wear what we prefer but it is not safe, in fact men harass women anywhere.

Off topic but I'm amazed a manager ypuld specify you need to wear heels, and I think that's actually illegal as they wouldn't specify that for men. Heels can cause joint and muscle problems, especially for someone top heavy.

I'm a similar shape and I've settled on ice vaguely tailored trousers with silky or some just Jersey tops which I tuck in 'cleverly'?! I twist the front and tuck that which gives me an illusion of a waist and I think flatters without emphasising the boobs.

I only discovered tucking tops in about 5 years ago and now suddenly I can buy any old size 16 top and it'll fit over the boobs without swamping the rest of me. Thank goodness for higher waisted trousers rather than the low rises of my 20s

As a 34K I sympathise. Start with a really well fitting supportive bra. Best neckline for me is V necks (not too low cut) or shirts unbuttoned at the neck. Fitted can be tricky, though if you get it right can look very smart. Definitely nothing too tight, especially round the bust. Dresses can look good, and wrap dresses (are they still in? ) can be helpful to fit both boobage and waist, but watch how low the neckline comes. V neck batwing style gives a bit more room in the chest area. Shoulder pads can be helpful too.

This sort of thing works well https://www.frenchconnection.com/products/crepe-light-recycled-popover-shirt

I agree. I'd really be pushing back on that, I can't see that there could be an objectively justifiable reason for it! (It might be that you wear heels every day anyway so no harm done, but I still think it's weird and would make me worry that my new boss was going to be unreasonable in other ways).
No advice on the actual point because I don't have that same issue but I do know when I've obsessed over a particular characteristic and how to dress for it in the past, looking back nobody would have noticed the difference and really what I was most comfortable in would have worked best... appreciate there's specific angles to your issue though. Good luck with return to work!

Your manager can’t tell you to wear heels!! Especially not in a male
dominated environment - do the men have to wear heels??
there’s no way on earth I’d do this…. Please double check on this as it seems extremely dated.
I’ve noticed even some cabin crew and beauty counter sellers have flat shoes these days, and their shoes are part of their uniform.

Heels? WTF there is absolutely no way he can ask you to do that. Is it in your contract? If it is you need to get that checked.

I'm a manager in my 50's and manage a large team of mostly men. There is no way you can be mandated to wear heels. Wearing flat PPE shoes yes but heels 👠 NO

It's a very sad state of affairs isn't it? I'm embarrassed to be male at times. I would not tolerate it in my working environment and have dealt with it in the past. I had hoped society would be moving on, but it seems more like we are going backwards these days, and not only in terms of sexism.

They cannot insist you wear heels