Hollywood wax pain, need perspective

[Pandasandflowers]

First of all I want to stress this: I like my esthetician a lot. She's fab and always makes me comfortable. She wasn't being an arse at all. So when I couldn't go through with the hollywood, also I only got one leg done, it was horribly painful, she was trying to get me to go ahead by encouragement and said things about how I have more pain coming my way in life like giving birth and this is nothing (I'm 30f, recently married, no kids yet). So my question is (forgive if I sound ignorant, it's difficult on here to word correctly what I want to ask, and I'm being really careful not to cause offence)...

While I know and fully appreciate that giving birth is excruciatingly painful (I hold so much admiration for all mums and giving birth is something I hope to do in the next couple of years), those of you who have given birth who would NOT/could not go through waxing (legs or anywhere for that matter), what makes you not able to handle it? She said I need to be strong and I won't handle childbirth if I can't handle a wax and I need to take pain in life as my child will suffer if I am weak in life, but then I know there are thousands of mums who would scoff at the idea of a wax and be adamant that they are never putting themselves through the pain. Is shaving not a chore for you? Are you happy with it and you just deal with ingrowns, fast regrowth etc. Do you not care?

This sounds ridiculous I know, but it's got me thinking she's right, if I can't handle pain, how will my child be strong in life? Since becoming a mother you would obviously muster up every ounce of strength to do anything for your child but what about other painful things? What is your perspective on them and please tell me if there are other things apart from waxing that you find are easy to do since becoming a mum and having your life changed by a child who relies on you for everything. Hope this makes sense, I just feel weak and pathetic at the mo, got some ice on my red legs and feel crap that I can't even deal with a wax while there are amazing women out there who give birth and are mothers. Thanks! x

Get a new waxer. She sounds shit.

I can't bear the pain of waxing but have had 3 children with minimal pain relief due to circumstances- they're not comparable! Your body prepares for childbirth, releases the right kind of hormones at the right time & there's a shit ton of pain relief available if you need it.

She is ridiculous and is trying to 'sell' you on the procedure.

'She said I need to be strong and I won't handle childbirth if I can't handle a wax and I need to take pain in life' A few key differences here: childbirth is a one-off (per child); a wax is only a temporary procedure which gives only temporary effects. Childbirth is usually done with anaesthetic, which those doing waxing are not trained or allowed to provide. Childbirth results in a more useful and permanent result (you have a child!). Childbirth (of some sort, including C-section, at least done by someone) is necessary to get a child. Hair removal is not necessary and waxing is only one of the methods of hair removal.

by encouragement and said things about how I have more pain coming my way in life like giving birth I wouldn't call this 'encouragement'. It's an inappropriate comment. It may not be 'coming your way': you may not want children or be infertile.

it's got me thinking she's right, if I can't handle pain, how will my child be strong in life? There is no virtue in punishing your body and causing it pain. There is no virtue in suffering.

OP are you just overthinking or on the sauce?

Your waxer just didn’t want to leave you with a half and half fanny, and started on waffley bullshit in the hope you might let her finish.

Your willingness or not to withstand waxing has f all to do with you making it through childbirth and minus f all with you and your child being emotionally strong.

Would you ask a philosopher to wax your undercarriage? No. So don’t expect a beautician to provide you with the meaning of life.

Either give it up as a bad job or try someone else and take 2 nurofen and avoid the week around your period.

If it's hurting so much you can only cope with one leg she's doing something wrong.

I've never uttered more than a quiet "oof" when I've had my full Hollywood with my current waxer, and that's on the most sensitive bits. And I actually quite enjoy the sensation of getting my legs waxed. It absolutely shouldn't be that painful, but some waxers are shit. The first one I had left me bruised and bleeding, my current one is a magician. You just have to find a good one.

Your legs shouldn't be red. Get a new waxer.

I have regular Hollywoods and gave birth to 2 x 9lb+ babies with no pain relief and I have the pain threshold of a fragile, over-sensitive kitten. I cry if someone stands on my toe.

Getting your fanny waxed should not trigger an existential crisis.

You need a new waxer. My pain threshold is super super low and I've had a child. Waxing is not supposed to be painful if its at the correct temp and the correct technique.

It is all mental. Childbirth hurts like hell but you get a baby at the end of it!

I have NEVER been waxed. Why would I voluntarily have a stranger rip my public hair out by the roots? Why is the alternative shaving and regrowth and ingrown hairs?
I am an adult human female . I HAVE public hair. It is not offensive.

This all down to the mainstreaming of pornography. That is why it is fashionable for women to put themselves through this snd for men to expect it. Say no!

This ☝🏻

Your waxer sounds like a knob. What on earth makes her think she can say those things to you about being weak?!

She sounds horrible 😳 What an odd thing to say to a customer!

Does she use hot wax? It makes a massive difference. I go somewhere that specialises in intimate waxing and they will only use hot wax on those areas, never strip wax. So they just pull the wax off directly rather than applying a strip. It’s way less painful. I only get waxed for going on holidays though, I shave the rest of the time. When I know I’ve got it booked I do find myself dreading it a bit as I know how sore it is (for a very short time). The only bit I struggle with is when they’re doing the most inner bit shall we say 😳 They always try so hard to make small talk but I still tense up as she pulls it off and it usually means it needs done again. She’ll ask a question and I need to reply just as she’s about to do the worst bits too and I’m trying to answer in 2 seconds 😂

If you’re like me and the pain of childbirth plagues you as a major issue, a csection is always an option. I wouldn’t have had children otherwise, I just wouldn’t have done it. Having your scar waxed is a fresh level of hell though 😭

“ She said I need to be strong and I won't handle childbirth if I can't handle a wax and I need to take pain in life as my child will suffer if I am weak in life”

WTF - who would speak like this to anyone. I’m assuming she just wants your business and your money. Who would be such an arse? Wow!

I’ve had 2 natural unmedicated home births and I don’t think they hurt really. I mean they were very intense yes, and took all my focus and attention. And I don’t want to do it again. Lol.
But I couldn’t face doing one of those self wax leg strip things 😂 (I mostly have hairy legs and I think you can guess the rest so I’m probably not the target audience for this question).

Ditch the waxing.

Revel in your glorious bush !

This all sounds very odd. Waxing isn’t the most comfortable thing but you have a choice. Wax, shave, laser etc or nothing.

If I heard that nonsense I would laugh. But I would not leave with half my fanny done and only one leg. Unless of course she was so incompetent to cause bruising. I suggest you try someone else who just gets on with the waxing rather than philosophising about life experiences.

She sounds like an absolute nob, who does she think she is to make those comments?
Also you can't compare getting a wax to childbirth, you don't get a baby at the end of a wax 😁

I find it's always less painful a few days after my period ends. Seems to be a hormonal/growth phase thing

It shouldnt hurt that much.
Dont worry about having a baby. Just sort out getting a new wax lady

This! Put some perspective around who’s saying what.

Waxing isn’t unbearably painful. Try a different person.

@Musicalmistress Thank you, this is what I needed. Mothers who have given birth and cannot/will not handle waxing. I'm being silly and they're not comparable :)

Take some painkillers first, relax and talk continuously. Talking distracts from the pain. I don't know why it would be somehow less painful just because I've had three babies. Different sort of pain.

Waxing isn’t that painful. I’ve been known to fall asleep while the back of my legs get done (least painful part) but tbh also fall asleep during spmu which is quite scratchy.

Parts of giving birth hurt like a bitch though 😂 don’t imagine you can just breathe a baby out with whale music and NCT classes.

@Highlyflavouredgravy Thanks, I guess I just wanted to do something nice and different for myself, treat myself to some sexy undies and I find they feel nicer when I don't have hair. But I can't go through it so I'm gonna rock my bush. It's not a necessity to have it done and I am by no means against pubes. Can't lie, when I hear someone in the waiting room say they are having a Hollywood, I wince. And it feels so nice that I'm only there to have my eyebrows done. Just wish I was strong enough for that lovely smoothness but eh, not for me :)

@Mixu Yep she uses the correct wax, hot wax for sensitive skin. I dread my appointment to be honest, caused me so much stress, but that's so lovely that you get it done, it must feel amazing to just hop in and out the shower on vacations

Yes, C-sections are something I'm looking into, although have not mentioned to many as I need to be careful, most people I've told have not taken it well. It's nice to hear from someone who feels similar to me in terms of you wouldn't have children otherwise. It's a huge thing that's always on my mind and I would love to have children soon

Getting your fanny waxed should not trigger an existential crisis.

I feel this should be on a mug. Wise words.

@Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic Nope you are my target audience, all perspective is great but helpful especially from mothers who don't want to tolerate waxing pain. I just wanted to get this nice thing done for myself as a treat and couldn't handle the pain. Makes me feel a bit pathetic as I'm trying to toughen up before I become a mother, and I generally thought from how the lady was speaking to me that waxing is something so normal that most women get done, til I spoke to some mums who refuse to do it. That's what I need. Also I feel a tad better, spoke to hubby and he said people just choose not to put themselves through pain, has nothing to do with how strong you are in other areas of your life. But I generally am not good at a lot of things and I want to get it right at being a mother :)