Hairdressers keep wanting me to be blonde

[BigOldBlue1]

Every time I go to the hairdressers (different salons) they manage to talk me into doing balayage or highlights, saying brown hair will "wash me out". It doesn't though. I'm really pale with blue eyes and I actually find darker hair looks better on me, confirmed by many impartial observers.

First question: what is going on here?! Anyone had the same? I beginning to wonder whether it's because it's more profitable for them to do blondes?!

Second question: I've now got a balayage (been about 2 months since I got it done). Can I go and get them to do a full head brunette colour over it or will the balayage underneath create a weird effect?

What's your natural colour

I am extremely pale, blue eyed and I look like a reanimated corpse with my natural dark, mousy colour. Been getting multi tone foils for years. Perhaps they know what they're talking about.

Me! I've had the same. My colouring is like Monica from Friends. Celtic. The hairdressers can't stand it.

They told me last time (Toni and Guy) that my natural auburn highlights from the sun was "hideous" and "ugly"

I have noticed more and more people ditching blonde and going back to auburn or brunette though. But it annoys me that people seem to think that blonde is superior.

I tried blonde once. The dark black roots came in after a few days. Why would I want that?

I've tried 4 salons in my local city and they've all commented on it.

I am pale, blue eyes, and dark hair. Colouring just like Liv Tyler. If ever colour is suggested it's normally Auburn or caramel that's suggested to 'add some warmth'. I did it once but I'm a true winter and blue/ashy tones look better on me.

Do you know whether you are warm or cool toned?

I do think you're onto something when you say it's more profitable to have you keep coming in for blonde maintenance.

Are you getting any white hairs... just wonder if they are trying to politely point you into highlights so that managing white hairs is less noticeable etc?

For me, they hate me being dark? I want bayalage and they insist on doing a full head of highlights and then painting the roots dark?! It just damages the hair and is ridiculously time consuming. I lost my shit last time and have moved salons…..Now the new salon they keep going on about blonde highlights over bayalage! Are they easier or something?

@LongLiveGoblingKing
I have had the exact same! I have very cool colouring that can sometimes look rosy and last time I went in they wanted to do some "warm caramel pieces". I think it looks awful on me and that some shades of blonde actual enhance my rosiness. I also don't think that fair always looks better just because you're pale. My eyes are very bright blue and they pop way more when my hair is darker (natural colour is firmly mousy, a kind if very dark ashy blonde).
On these two pics of Emma stone I think she looks way better darker. The blonde intensifies her pinkness IMO which is what has happened to me

Emma stone looks awful as a brunette

@AndrewGarfieldsLaptop
Well I think she looks best as a redhead personally but definitely not blonde!

I am naturally very pale skinned with mousy brown hair that hair salons always call dark blond. I have rosy cheeks though so always look ridiculous with any kind of warmth in my hair colour, the cooler ashy shades suit me much better. I look like a corpse with dark hair but a silvery blonde works really well, I just have to use a good purple shampoo regularly to keep it that way.

They do it because colours are profitable for them. It’s nothing to do with the colour of your hair, they are just upselling in the hope of making money out of you.

It's all about upselling to make more money. In some salons they are also on commission for selling you hair care products too.

I think those photos of Emma Stone both look bad. She looks brassy and cheap in the 1st photo. And like she's too hot.

2nd photo her face looks "heavy"

But I know what you mean OP. It's just those photos were bad examples.

Mushroom ashy shades suit me. But nobody knows how to do it. They just book me in for a t section. When I ask about toner they look at me all confused. 😂

Yes this! They'll bleach your hair until it's fried. You'll either need serum, conditioner, olaplex or a new cut.

And then fresh highlights for the roots and its a cycle.

How old are you OP?

I think really dark hair can be a bit unforgiving against ageing complexions. That was certainly the case for me anyway.

I've worked with hairdressers for years and very few would be thinking about profitability. It's my guess that they either believe their advice is right for you, or they are not hugely creative. Either way, just tell them what you want!

And, yes to your second question; It can be done. They might need to put a red on first, but easy enough.

Nah, its the moolah. Every time.

I'm sure blonde might look nice, but it's still about the money.

From a previously fried bleached blonde.

If its several different hairdressers more inclined to think they believe you'd look better with blonde hair rather than you being unfortunate enough to keep having upsellers (which I've never encountered across many hairdressers but not saying they don't exist). It's up to you though of course, just say no thanks. If you do one colour over balyage then yes you'll have some lighter areas, might look okay though.

Personally I think Emma Stone looks a million times better as a blonde, even in decent photos brunette washes her out. I do love brunette hair generally though so not a blonde enthusiast.

Don’t let hairdressers boss you around. If one gets pushy just say “I think you’re right but I want to experiment. If it goes wrong it will grow out and then I will try it your way.”

I don't think there are many hairdressers who are trained or know anything about colour analysis. I think there is simply a general fashion/cultural preference for blonde.

It's puzzling when people say that their own hair colour makes them look pale/dead/ghostly etc. Nature doesn't tend to get colours wrong, and a colour that is close to natural (lighter or darker within a few shades) will almost always suit someone best.

It sounds like you know what suits you, OP!

@renthead a lot of people with dark hair assume their hair is still dark. When in fact as they age its getting more mousy.

I'm included. I've made that mistake as recently as July 😂

I went back to my natural colour of briwn with grey coming through at the front which many hairdressers comment on because I think I always refuse their colour suggestions. No, I don't want it coloured. It's fine as it is. I use to dye, but it cost £££ each time & I couldn't keep up the maintenance.

They also try and upsell different cuts and styles saying (usually) I should have q graduated bob and fringe. That also means regular salon attendance for me because my hair grows fast, as opposed to the wet cut & trim I normally request once or twice a year.

I think ES looks much nicer as a brunette in the second picture the OP posted.
I also think we've been conditioned to view very pale skin as needing some warmth and colour - tanned = healthy, pale = unhealthy. But that's just not true for people whose natural skin tone is pale and cool.

I've tried going blonder (to disguise grey) but I think I prefer being a brunette - it's more 'me' and also easier to maintain and cheaper.

I think the challenge is that as you age practically no one has dark brown hair naturally. It lightens naturally so having people in their 40s/50s with a big head of dark dark hair is very ageing in my humble opinion.

Eh? Emma Stone looks AWFUL blonde!
Incredulous at anyone thinking otherwise!😲

I agree with you on the whole, OP, but I'd probably wait for the balyage to fade/grow out before getting it re-done, mainly as you might as get your money's worth for it for now!

Have you asked their thoughts on a brown balyage? I haven't had this myself yet, but my new hairdresser and I have had a discussion about it for my next appointment and I'm rather excited!