Do some people just look shit with light coloured hair? I do!

[AreolaGrande]

Original natural colour was v dark brunette. Irish complexion so pale/cool-toned and freckly with blue eyes.

Am now naturally salt and pepper and grew it out for a few years. Wasn't for me so have bleached and dyed it multiple different colours while trying to find a way to manage the roots.

I've realised that I need significant contrast between my skin and my hair. With any shade of blonde or pastel pink hair it just blends into my face and I look like a potato.

However too dark is impossible to maintain with whites popping through less than a week after dyeing with permanent dye and can look unnatural.

Sat here with a level 7 rose gold blonde dye over the v faded pastel pink. No idea how it will turn out but I need to find the darkest colour that suits me but that lets me blend the greys.

GAH!

I've seen pics of Ariana Grande with her blonde hair recently for the film Wicked and it isn't flattering at all compared to her previous darker hair which was gorgeous. I think some people just need that contrast whereas lots of other fellow pale people look fantastic with light hair.

Please don't tell me the solution is to go grey again. To each their own and it looks fab on some but it is definitely not for me.

It's because you've got a pinky/blue complexion and most hair dyes for going lighter/blonde make your hair slightly yellowy. I agree about the contrast but as you definitely don't want to the upkeep of dark, the better (?) option would be to go as white as possible and get more contrast via make up. So red/pink lipstick, not nude and defined eyebrows and use eye makeup. I'm not an expert but as someone with the same ish colouring until growing it out 3 years ago, the whiter hair does now create a contrast with the Celtic skin. I always wear makeup though - I'd have no features without it 😀

Thanks @SwedishEdith . I'm a makeup addict and in a previous life was a MUA - wear full face to work every day and love bold lips etc but it still wasn't enough for me to feel happy and confident with the grey hair. I just feel more like me with other hair shades. I know that's partly social conditioning but eh, it is what it is.

Even when I went platinum and with a really good blunt bob it didn't look or feel right on me, even when fully styled. Medium red/light Auburn looked great though so I think that might be my sweet spot going forward.

I have exactly your colouring.
the hairdresser i went to refused to strip it .. am mostly white , but mouse at the back . She said it would wash me out.
she died it a very bright red .
i have to do my roots evey two weeks , but i am enjoying it .

the trick is not to go blond or any yellow tones .
when i go grey i wil need hints of apricot , rose gold.

Yes! I recently had my hair stripped of dark brown and it left it a light blond / peachy colour - hated it! Recently had it dyed back to brown again and OMG I love it - NEVER again!

I thought it would help with the greys and having to dye it so often, but I looked so unwell

You need to work out which season you are and take it from there. I have to go golden blonde, being a spring, I can also get away with rose/gold

if you are cool toned, ash colours should work, or silver grey looks amazing on cool tones

Same colouring as me except I have canal green eyes! I am now grey as the up keep was driving me nuts. My eyebrows are still dark and well defined but there is no doubt about how it has made me look older overall. My whole wardrobe has had to change too. Not normally wearing make up, I now use a bit of blusher.
One of my sisters has just gradually gone lighter but you are right. highlights or going blond just doesn't cut it.
Not very helpful I know but you are not on your own.

Yes me! I look absolutely shocking with anything lighter than dark brunette. The upkeep of my greys means I do a semi permanent dye every 2-3 weeks but none of the alternatives (letting it grow out, trying to blend it in with highlights) suit me at all. I also have the same colouring as you. Would love to know what the answer is.

God I could have written this - also pale Irish with level 6 natural hair - have always tried to lighten to an 8/9 strawberry blond but can wash me out. I now have both lowlights level 6 and highlights level 9 both from roots which gives me depth but helps to conceal the grey.
Your rose gold dye sounds great - what is it please?
And show us a picture!

I’m a very white, blue eyed and black haired Irish person too <fist bump>. Going grey now and getting sick and tired of the root upkeep. I’m giving it another year or two I think and then I’m going to go very red. I’m awful as a blonde. Washed out and sickly looking!

I have pale skin and freckles and also look washed out as I get blonder getting older. Considering red highlights but don’t think they last long.

I’ve twice tried going blonde but looked so ill that I’m back to dark hair and fortnightly dyes. It’s bloody annoying.

I found blonde of any sort looks terrible on me, but silvery grey looks fine, provided I make sure my eyebrows are dark (er).

I have found my people 😆

Dye is done and I think I really like it! It's Loreal Preference in shade Bali. It's definitely darker than the shade on the box but that's ok for me.

It's come out remarkably even given that my hair was a mixture of pale pink, peach and even lavender in parts with 1cm of salt and pepper roots 😳.

Will take some pics tomorrow in natural light.

I think people should generally do what the fuck they want with their hair. It isnt permanent, and we are all different.
I gave up having highlights because my hair is lovely caramel blonde, and i love how long it grows and how healthy it is without highlights.

But we can't expect everyone else to agree with our preference.

If it makes you feel better to stop colouring, I did this and I love my hair now. It is different for everyone. Some people look amazing with lighter hair!

I get you as I have natural black hair but greys growing out so fast now as my hair always grows really quickly and am sick of seeing the greys appear. I take Naturtint to the hairdresser to do my roots but usually try to wait 8 weeks as too costly otherwise and hate going to get it done. Used to use dark brown/black but it did not cover roots right as looked a kind of reddish. brown colour and did not cover it but the black is quite dark and for the first 2 weeks more so. By the time I like it the greys are out again. My sister went blonde but over time but she had brown hair so easier and easier to hide roots. But I like my dark hair with clear pale skin as couldn't be arsed tanning now as perimenopause. Have green eyes. But sometimes would just love to shave it all off as a pain in the ass and use that root spray but then it gets on my pillow. If I put sunglasses on my head if I forget end up with panda eyes ha!! from the root spray. Also used to have lovely silky hair but in perimeno get a frizz never got before. Miss the days I could just wash my hair and did not even have to blow dry it and it would be super silky. Have to use Naturtint as hairdresser dye made scalp so dry and made my psoriasis come back. Everyone seems to be gone blonde now and can see why but I would look ridiculous blonde. Must get a wig and see what the blonde wig looks like. Great to read other women's stories on here.

I’m a similar colouring to you and feel like this is the worst hair colour for going grey! Slightly jealous of my lighter haired friends, or those with more olive-y skin tones as they often suit blonde coloured hair. So difficult to blend greys. I haven’t started yet but I will need to in the next couple of years. Look forward to your update op.

I'm pale with chestnut hair. I did a lot of am-dram and in one production my character was blonde. It got referred to in the play. Come the first dress rehearsal and the hired costumes arrived, plus blonde wig for me. I put it on, took it off, and we spent the evening rewriting all the references to me being blonde.

Then there was the time (before the wig) I said to my hairdresser that I thought I might go blonde. I was joking, honestly. She came and stood in front of me, slapped her scissors down on the section, folded her arms and said 'well you'll have to find someone else to do it, I won't and none of my staff will either.'

Needless to say, I will never get to find out if blondes really do have more fun.

Similar Irish complexion (green eyes, pale, dark hair) always felt more comfortable dark and dyed my hair a shade or so darker for years, but with greys coming through it didn’t last long. After a few failed attempts where I ended up too blonde, I have my hairdresser strict instructions to lighten it without making it look like I was intentionally going blonde, finally got the much subtler effect I was after but it did require slight tweaking of makeup/clothes shades to make it work.

Definitely the worst colour for going grey as they stand out so much! Now I’ve got it sorted, it really hides regrowth and I’m getting my hair coloured much less than ever (probably every 12/16 weeks rather than a root touch up every 6 weeks)

Could you have the blonde stripped away and have a colour shade put over your natural brunette so that it colours the white hair coming through but not the dark hair - so you get dark brown hair with eg purple, blue, red streaks in? (Not sure if that would work )

I have Irish colouring too. I am a quarter Irish! I have tried everything. The grey does suit my colouring more but puts a decade on me! I am on level 6 the moment but wondering whether a colour like Gillian Anderson would work?@

Gosh isn’t she beautiful.

This is the colour I have gravitated to over the years and it does suit me - Pale, green/amber eyes and level 5-6 hair naturally. The problem was it tended to look yellow in direct sunlight which I hated. It’s hard to keep the tone as a rise gold/caramel shade as when the tone washes out, the lightened areas just go yellow on me. But yes an overall level 8 is flattering but I need some root depth with 6 lowlights.

Irish blood here too. Dark dark hair, hazel eyes and skin so pale it looks like Gondor is calling for aid.

I found that using a henna and indigo mix (2 scoops henna:1 scoop indigo) gave it a nice depth and colour. Redone every 2 months or so but it colours the greys a nice reddish brown so less contrast but still compliments Winter colouring. (Pic below; I’m 40 next week but have been going grey since 30. No filter and it’s natural daylight so you can see the different shades the henna gives. The indigo stops it being light red which didn’t suit me as much)

only thing is, once you’ve switched to henna, it does mean some professional colourists won’t dye your hair as it reacts or doesn’t take.

Colour analysis quiz

this might be quite useful in finding out your season; you do sound like a winter which means we don’t suit yellow toned or warm toned colour…but we will rock the Miranda Priestly all-white look!

High contrast is definitely needed. I went blonde for a while but looked like I was really unwell. I def need contrast in hair/make up/ clothes.

Yours looks really natural - love your curly hair cut.
I just took the quiz and I’m a spring. Kind of knew it anyway - although I do love Deep Summer shades which apparently straddles warm tones too. Spring would suggest I’m low contrast though which I’m definitely not. But I don’t really like Autumn colours so I’ll take Spring!