Help me to feel less frumpy please!

[MooMa83]

So after 2 children I've gone from a size 12/14 to 16/18...I'm only 5ft 2 and do not carry it well at all. I have a large bust, wide bum, c section pouch tummy and large thighs. I'm trying to get fitter, but in the meantime how can I feel more stylish? I'm looking for new jobs and when looking at new clothes feel so frumpy and dumpy in everything! It's really affecting my confidence. I'm early 40's, not sure I have a particular style but if I had to would say classic with a hint of Boho, or a bit rock/edgy. My redeeming features are a nipped in waist (in relation to everything else!). My face is also fairly slim (again...in comparison!), and striking Mediterranean features. Help please?

I love love love this! Bit out of budget though.

@CountryCousin it's a no to those first 4 questions! The last person that cut my hair was me! Yes grooming would be a good place to start thank you.

I think you need to stop using the word "frumpy" about yourself, it's too often used against women on here and has horrible connotations. Just consider that you've lost your way, style wise.. At least these shapes and styles have given you some idea of what you might look for!

I think the op can use whatever terms she likes when she's describing herself.
I hate all the policing on this board.
We've all been told we can't use the word flattering as well.
Well why ever not?
Certain individuals imagine they are the only style arbiters on S&B. But there are many different ways of approaching style and we should embrace them all.

I'm not telling her anything. I think a woman who describes herself as "frumpy" needs a bit of a boost psychologically as well as style wise. The terms women use to describe themselves are often so negative, so I was just giving her a bit of advice, woman to woman.
No policing of the thread. Nor am I telling others what not to say.

@Maireas I get what you're saying. It's just a word that fits how I feel about myself. I'm not aware of any connotations aside from the obvious feeling unfashionable, drab etc? Apologies if I've offended anyone!

Oh, @MooMa83 - no! You've absolutely nothing to apologise for! I'm certainly not offended and I'm sure no one else is!
I was just trying to unpick exactly where you think the problem lies so we could best give you style advice. Is it that you feel too fat, or your clothes are dull or ill fitting, would you like to look brighter, sharper, more classic? "Frumpy" is a bit of a negative catch all.
I hope some of these ideas have helped. I know what it's like with the post c section pouch... been there 🙄

If a poster says she is ugly you'd just let that go? I can see your point but I can see Maireas' point too.

I don't use "frumpy" because it's such a useless word. "Frumpy" , like beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I don't recall ever seeing anyone say we shouldn't use "flattering".

A company called palava do some nice items and their cuts seem good.

Palava clothing is a good recommendation - some really different shapes and styles. Also, OP have you had a look at Joanie clothing?

Palava and Joanie are both great and with a similar vibe. The Natural History Museum edit by Joanie is great fun.

Palava
Joannie dresses
Joanie Natural History Museum edit

I think if someone said they feel ugly I would know what they mean. If they say they are ugly I wouldn't agree with that. I honestly don't mind the word frumpy. It's just a descriptive word. There have all been times when we've felt a bit nondescript & drab. Though it's not a term I use, I do understand the meaning.

Thanks for suggestions...palava and Joannie look a little bit twee for me. Any suggestions for anything a bit more edgy?

One thing I've noticed is that if I wear a more fitted top, or a vneck people think I have lost weight. Don't drown yourself in too much fabric without showing some flesh or having something fitted

This is my current favourite label thanks to poster Capacious Hag. It's a bit more "edgy" than Palava or Joanie- not that either Palava or Joanie are particularly basic high street

Klements

Are you more minimalist perhaps ? The suggestions here would all be too fussy and girly for me. Also Joanie is usually polyester.

Have a look at Massimo Dutti. Simple minimalist clothes.

No actually, Joanie does have cotton now. I stand corrected.

me too. Sure 18 and 5.5 with large boobs.

can only do dark coloured clothing, cropped slim cut trousers, a bit of a heel and shortish cut shirts with a V neck.

Dress it up with nice scarves, shoes and a bag, smart short hair cut and bright eye shadow.

But always a bright bag and eyeshadow! Currently trying a shimmery eggshell blue, with my dark hair and palish skin looks quite good. Also a fan of a deep shiny green!

Have a look at Massimo Dutti. Simple minimalist clothes. Unfortunately mostly stopping at a size 14. And the rare size 16 items probably aren’t cut with the right proportions for a 16-18 figure. (I can think of a few brands whose size 14 clothes might well be cut generously enough to fit, but they’re all considerably over the OP’s budget.)

I agree Klements might well suit the OP in terms of style. Don’t know if they’re ever to be found on Vinted or Vestiaire, etc?

Are Monki in the UK? They’re inexpensive and do a wide range of sizes. Style is mostly teenagery so you have to be very discerning, but if you’re lucky you can find something really nice and different. I always get compliments off my finds.

General advice is to go for fitted and sleek. Good fitting jeans, pinched cardigans etc. Absolutely no reason you can’t look stylish if you fancy :)

I like some of the Monki stuff, thank you for the suggestion. Don't like Klements at all...perhaps I'm not as edgy as I thought! I think minimalist may be the way to go with some striking accessories 🤔. I had a look at wearethought and quite like some bits on there. Thank you for all the replies x

Youve had some lovely suggestions OP, I’m definitely taking them all on board too! I just wanted to add - I felt exactly the same earlier this year. I’d piled weight on and in 40s and felt quite low about my style/beauty; I felt I was trying to hide somehow.
What helped me the most was getting back (after years of none) to dresses. They are so comfortable and I get so many unexpected compliments, from other women and from my DP too which I wasn’t expecting but I think I’m giving off a more relaxed vibe as don’t feel so like a sack of potatoes as I was.
Also a good haircut, some nice earrings, good underwear and just tinted moisturiser.
Joe Browns was a good start, I felt really good in a dress from them and it gave me the confidence to look for more.
Good luck, we are just as amazing and beautiful as every other woman - we just need reminding.

Purely for the joy of the chase I found a few nice things in the N-a-P sale. As of last night they were all still available in a 16 or 18. Not posting specifically for @MooMa83, just in case of interest to anyone in that size range looking for something vaguely fabulous. You’ll have to tap the photos for prices.

(Or maybe you won’t? I’m on the mobile site and have no idea how photos are shown on the app or a laptop.)

Monki is a good suggestion. Also Weekday which is a bit more Scandi and minimalist. I've found some nice pieces for work from there. I'm glad you liked my link to Zadig and Voltaire - I think their stuff is great!