To find it nearly impossible to look polished

[Ceci03]

So I have been making a big effort with my hair and makeup and doing my nails and fake tan on my legs. Just trying to look a bit more polished.

Was at a work meeting with some colleagues I hadn't met before and couldn't stop admiring the woman beside me. Her hair was beautifully highlighted and smooth. He nails were perfect. I nearly felt embarrassed when I looked at my efforts. Her clothes were beautifully cut. Sparkly white teeth. Lovely jewellry.

I came away feeling very scruffy and wondering if I will ever get the look I want of being put together and I suppose polished. I guess it takes money too to look that good. I highlighted my hair at home and it looks nice but not as good as a hairdressers colour. My nails were scruffy round the edges. I dunno I just felt a bit shabby.

Any tips for looking more polished on a budget!

Comparison is the thief of joy OP. If you have made as much effort as time and circumstance allow then be happy with that. What I’ve realised is that there is always going to be someone who is taller, thinner and prettier etc than me but at the same time there will be people who wish that they had x, y and z that I might have so I just try and be happy with the effort etc that I make.

Any tips for looking more polished on a budget!
It sounds like you’re already doing brilliantly. Like @Niftythrifter, I suspect it’s more the comparison that’s got you down.

The most budget friendly thing I try to do is give myself time to make sure everything’s clean and turned out. ie use a clothes brush to get rid of any fluff (or cat hair!), make sure my shoes are clean and sort them if not, fold collars and cuffs properly, etc. Plan in 5 extra minutes so you don’t get that rushed and harassed look.

How about fewer but better quality clothes? Maybe a really well-cut pair of navy trousers/ skirt combined with a few white and neutral tops. Sometimes simple elegance does it. But to be honest, a warm smile can be much more pleasant than a polished look.

It’s incredible how the right products can make a difference. I recently bought some hair plumper and it transformed my hair dramatically. Ditto nails. I tend to buy from mid range clothes shops that use thicker fabrics with more tailoring.

In reality, she probably didn’t look much better than you. You probably saw how well out together she looked and a lightbulb went on.

Don't be too hard on yourself OP, I'm sure you looked great.

I could have written this myself. I feel like I just constantly look dishevelled! Even if I try my best ! I try to just tell myself in my head well I’m clean an I’m a nice person and I have a wild toddler and I’m pregnant ! Maybe il be one of these ladies who looks effortlessly tidy and stylish in my 40s or 50s x

I think some people are just lucky, hair is naturally smooth, clear skin. It just takes them less effort- not to say you don’t have these things by the way. But there’ll always probably be better dressed etc.
There are some school mums who must get up hours before and do YouTube make up vids! At least, this is what I tell myself 🤣the HOURS they must put in lol

OP if you're looking for smooth hair, I use the Revlon One Step and really like it. It gives me a salon type blow dry with a swishy finish.

I was never really good at doing my nails so can't help you there...

But I'm sure there are lovely things about yourself that you are overlooking. The woman you mentioned might have been envious of something you were wearing or how you looked.

@Damnyouautocorrect1 what is the hair plumper you're using?

I'm not sure what style you're going for, but I've found going natural/neutral/boring really helps with looking polished.

Pale pink nail polish followed by a coat of clear - lasts for ages before it looks tatty.

Hair colour but nothing fancy - easier to touch up with a root spray in emergencies. (Plus, Babyliss Big Hair has revolutionised my hairstyling at home.)

Plain "posh" clothes and shoes in neutral colours; I'm gradually replacing my cheap impulse buys with expensive stuff; this takes time and money but makes it much easier in the long term to put an outfit together quickly and look good.

I do agree with a PP that a confident smile and a friendly manner can do a lot more for you than slick grooming, though.

How polished does someone want to look though?
Like a celebrity? A contemporary aristocrat?
A billionaire?
Or a regular working woman with kids, a mortgage or whatever?

I flirted with this concept in my 30's, am 50 now.
It was all wrong for me. Not me at all. Although that does not mean that I am untidy or unattractive, I am one of a kind!

I had the right accessories, hair, etc, I had the money, but I often felt vaguely uncomfortable. I am a free spirit at heart, with my ideal fantasy being surrounded by haphazard bookshelves and crazy pets. I admit to a certain intellectualism, but this is essentially invisible. It can only relate to it's own kind.

I have a Chloe bag and some rather odd things, still, from that period of attempting to polish myself, and they sit now, gather ing dust, wondering whether to hop onto ebay.

Nails are neat, uncoloured. My hair is natural and soft. I also feel that I relate to others of all walks of life far more than when I was overly conscious of it. I grew up bog standard MC, boring school, life mapped out. I kind of broke out of that and became a painter. Nobody even seems to notice.

And i have the 'money' to look polished. I just sort of no longer want to be, if that makes sense.

Also interested in the hair plumper @Damnyouautocorrect1

Hair plumper - female money extraction: I stake my guess!

I feel you! I went out for lunch last weekend. I have a young child so really don’t make much effort most days but I had used my Dyson airwrap to curl my hair and in my mind I was going to have these bouncy loose curls. I had put fake tan on so thought I’d look a lot better than usual and took my time doing makeup. I looked at myself in the mirror before going out and just thought how flat I looked. My eyes were dull and my hair had already gone flat and basically straight 🤦🏼‍♀️ You can end up looking surprisingly good on a day you weren’t trying though then feel like that when you’ve gone to all that effort!

I think good eyelash extensions and fake tan are the number one things to make someone look good and ‘sparkly’.

I had the money, but I often felt vaguely uncomfortable. I am a free spirit at heart, with my ideal fantasy being surrounded by haphazard bookshelves and crazy pets.

Love this!

I'm the same. I can pull off clothes etc but I've never been able to tame my hair and was too tight/lazy to force it to behave beyond the 10 minutes tonnes of Kirby grips and hairspray could keep it under control. Now I don't bother and have significantly relaxed my style. I also wear minimal make-up (again lazy). I take care of myself physically (I run so I'm reasonably slim etc) which helps I think but basically I've embraced my inner hippy.

The elephant in the room is that it’s so much easier to look good when you’re thin.

Maybe easier but there are also plenty of well put together people who aren't super slim. It's not black and white.

Yes - I have a friend who can go wild camping, with no access to showers or a mirror, and still look more polished than me after I've spent an hour getting ready at home.

People like this are almost certainly aliens, OP. Back away slowly and don't make any sudden movements.

I’m a polished person! I’m not necessarily super smartly dressed or anything like that, but I am always told I look “well put together”. I don’t have children so that probably helps, but here are my tips:

Hair - mine is in a very sharp bob, and is trimmed every five weeks. I always book my next appointment as I leave. I have an excellent hairdresser which I think makes a huge difference, but I am also very lucky that I don’t pay him and instead do the salon’s social media in exchange

Eyebrows - waxed every three weeks, appointments are scheduled in until about October at the moment

Clothes - buy the best I can, often second hand. Today I was in Levi’s balloon jeans, a lovely orange sweatshirt from Arket, and Birkenstock clogs. All of those items came from Depop. I always pick my outfit the night before and hang it in the bathroom, complete with bra/knickers, vest for underneath. I know MN hates this but I iron everything. We have a very fluffy cat and there is a lint roller in every room, plus one by the front door. I wear trainers a lot, but if I am in boots or shoes I make sure they are polished/repaired regularly. If something looks scruffy or doesn’t fit, off it goes

Nails - do them myself, every three days

Makeup - I always wear red lipstick even if nothing else. It’s my “signature look”. I tint my own brows and lashes at home so if my skin looks okay I can get away with lips, lash curlers, brow gel, done.

That turned into a book, but maybe there is something useful, OP. I bet you look great though!

I disagree. I could be termed as thin but find it hard to look polished because my hair simply will not comply - it's too fine and unruly

I should add that a colleague is probably a size 20/22 and always looks so well put together and I envy her style. I ask her where she buys clothes and she always says that they don't come in my size !

I never look 'polished' - I know how to, but cannot be bothered to actually do it! I often think that too look more classy/polished you have to have a simple but classic style and know what colours/shapes/length etc suits you, clean and manicured (but not overly long/bright) nails, well trimmed hair, minimal but well applied make up (and easy on the fake tan) and good quality but minimal accessories. Paying attention to footwear also matters, no raggy heals, scuffs etc. I am sure you looked absolutely fine, who knows, maybe the other lady was admiring you from afar? ;)

I disagree with this. I had a similar experience to OP in a meeting and every one of them was bigger than me. They all looked really glamorous.

But like @MintyAraminta i don’t think I could pull it off as I’d feel like I was dressing up as someone else

I think I'm quite polished! Although I live in a edgier part of London so maybe 'edgy polished'.

Like pp, hair cut into a blunt bob every six weeks, roots every 8. Nails every ten days. Eyebrows every week (thanks DF for these caterpillars). A (good quality) tan applied weekly after a really good scrub in the shower, and then a very rich moisturiser every evening. My DM instilled skin care into me from an early age so my skin is good, and I mainline water like a parched camel. Simple gold jewellery, but I layer it together for a twist. I send my shirts out with DH's dry cleaning so they're pressed professionally.

It sounds like a lot maybe, but I genuinely enjoy it. I also like being able to wake up every morning knowing getting ready is quite simple as the foundations are there.