To find it nearly impossible to look polished

[Ceci03]

So I have been making a big effort with my hair and makeup and doing my nails and fake tan on my legs. Just trying to look a bit more polished.

Was at a work meeting with some colleagues I hadn't met before and couldn't stop admiring the woman beside me. Her hair was beautifully highlighted and smooth. He nails were perfect. I nearly felt embarrassed when I looked at my efforts. Her clothes were beautifully cut. Sparkly white teeth. Lovely jewellry.

I came away feeling very scruffy and wondering if I will ever get the look I want of being put together and I suppose polished. I guess it takes money too to look that good. I highlighted my hair at home and it looks nice but not as good as a hairdressers colour. My nails were scruffy round the edges. I dunno I just felt a bit shabby.

Any tips for looking more polished on a budget!

As well as colour analysis, you can get your clothing personality done. It’s easier to look polished if you are a Gamine or a Classic than a Romantic and I think it’s about being realistic with what nature has given you and working with it not against it.

Find a style of clothing, hair, natural make up etc that works for you and stick with it.

Avoid impulse buying or falling for the latest trend.

I get told I look ‘ well put together’ but this is after years of getting it wrong with Impulse buys and trying to be on trend.

I have significantly reduced the number of clothes I have and stick with good quality, tailored clothes in style and colours that suits my body shape, skin tone and hair colour.

I do have grooming routine, hate that word but can’t think of how else to describe it, that involves twice yearly Botox, Profilho, 4 weekly manicures, a hair trim every 3 months. pedicure’s in summer
I shape and tint my eyebrows every couple of weeks and do a deep hair treatment monthly.

Won’t long until someone will be along to say that’s high maintenance fakery but I don’t give two shites what other’s opinions are on that. It works for me, at early 50’s I’m happy in my own skin.

I’m also sporting a beautiful set of train tracks on my lower teeth, DP regularly slags me off telling
me I’ll look great by the time I’m laid out in a coffin.

Find a style of clothing, hair, natural make up etc that works for you and stick with it.

Avoid impulse buying or falling for the latest trend.

Soul Death

@coolcahuna I believe it's good to have a touch of the wild visible to others. I view it as a way to warn them of the menopausal rage within, in a nice way happy weekend everyone!

We may not have the same hair type so I won't recommend specific products. I'm white with fine hair and plentiful curls. I do think it's possible to look polished with curly hair. I've had mine long (halfway down my back), in a bob (not blunt cut though, shaped at the bottom to avoid the triangle effect), with a long side swept fringe and without any fringe.

It's all about finding the products that suit your hair and keeps the curls at their best, learning to style it when wet so it looks good when it's dried, learning to style it once is already dried if it's not ended up quite as planned, and knowing how it behaves in humidity. If your hair is going to frizz in humid weather or with sweat on your neck in summer, like most curly hair does, use different (stronger hold) styling products to keep that under control/learn how to put it up or tie it back to minimise the impact of the frizz.

Also, be prepared to wash and style it daily if necessary. IMO it's no use complaining you only wash it weekly and it looks a mess by day two (like a lot of people do) - that's normal! Washing your curly hair is not necessarily about having a greasy scalp. Wash it: 1) to remove old styling products so you can start again with fresh hair and 2) so you can apply conditioner and have it sink in because the styling products are removed. So much of the frizz and unruly nature of curly hair comes from it being dry and needing conditioner, application once a week (or longer!) doesn't really work.

People complain that it's labour intensive and it is, but no more so than my friend who spends half an hour straightening her long hair every day before work and using intensive conditioner on weekends to attempt to counteract the damage caused by the straighteners.

Like the posters above who have posted the regimens they use to establish their foundations, curly hair needs it's foundations establishing too. It needs to be in good condition with a suitable cut and you need to have learned how to style it and what products/amounts to use. That takes time, practice, trial and error.

I think the main thing to accept is looking polished (in general I mean, regardless of hair type) is a lifestyle choice, you have to constantly keep up with the foundation work. It's not something you can ignore the majority of the time then suddenly become polished an hour before you want to go out somewhere special or two weeks before your annual holiday.

I'm another one who feels that however hard I try with clothes, make up, accessories, I'm always let down by my wild frizzy hair. It doesn't curl nicely with CG method (still frizzes and has very random curl pattern). It doesn't straighten properly. It's just frizzy candy floss hair and it never, ever looks polished!
I'm less bothered by it than I used to be.

Yeah I'm another one. Some of us just got landed with the frizzy/lank hair that doesn't do tidy or bouncy no matter how long you spend or how much money you spend on trying to make it different, and the crap skin. I can't even manage basically tidy never mind polished, I could wear Chanel head to foot and still look like I'd slept in a hedge. I'm increasingly thinking it's down to genes.

Bumping. Feel very poor and shabby. Know what polished and expensive looks like but it it a long way from me right now

I agree with this.

In life, there will always be someone prettier, slimmer, richer... there will also always be someone less those things than you.

Also some people are particularly attentive or well put together and are almost always going to look better than most others but it doesn't mean you didn't look great.

I feel like I was a lot more put together when I was younger but I feel I should put a bit more effort in now as there's no excuse for me to let myself go and I feel I have slightly!

The plus side of having curly or frizzy hair is that it tends to be dry, so I blow mine straight and I only have to do that once a week.

Keeping it straight definitely looks more polished on me...and having my colours done too.

I let it all go curly on holiday though.

Not sure if it’s already been mentioned, but a quick trick is to wear maximum 3 colours in your outfit (including shoes and bag).

You automatically look polished and put together.

I'm prepared to bet money she thought you looked good too.

I feel I can do polished. I often get complimented on my outfits and how I look. From my girlfriends and my sisters so I know it's genuine.

I get my nails done every 3 weeks. I get pedicures. I have a monthly facial and get my eyebrows waxed at that .

I have very long gingery curly hair, which I have recently had blonde flashes put though. A brilliant hair hack I have found is one of these...
Messy Bun Hair Piece Hair Scrunchies Thick Curly Wavy Hair Piece Synthetic Donut Updo Hairpieces for Women Girls, Light Brown mix Natural Blonde amzn.eu/d/c5l2tCk hair piece
I put my hair up, in a messy knot at the back or on top, and stick this round it. Takes seconds. Smooth own hair with John frieda Finishing Cream.

I have learned how to apply Bronzer and blusher properly, have a brilliant mascara, and now draw on my eyebrows. I have learned good eye make up is better than a bright lip on me.

I exercise alot. I can wear most things.

It's taken me to the age of 48 to feel I look as good as I'm ever going to, but that's OK.

Link didn't work

Messy Bun Hair Piece Hair Scrunchies Thick Curly Wavy Hair Piece Synthetic Donut Updo Hairpieces for Women Girls, Light Brown mix Natural Blonde amzn.eu/d/c5l2tCk This

3rd time lucky

FESHFEN Messy Bun Hair Piece Hair Scrunchies Thick Curly Wavy Hair Piece Synthetic Donut Updo Hairpieces for Women Girls, Light Brown mix Natural Blonde amzn.eu/d/c5l2tCk

I agree with the person who said iron your clothes. It makes such a difference when you're trying to look polished.

But the best quality version of the things you love and take care of them.

For example friend wanted some wide leg casual/semi tailored trousers. She bought a pair for £18 from h and m. They have an elasticated waist and the are a touch too long. In short they look scruffy.

counter- buy the second hand pair from vinted from anthropologie and get them hemmed to fit her leg. Flat fronted (so much more flattering) and have high quality finishing on the seams and hardware. Really nice wooden buttons on the fly. cCost slightly more and she had to bide her time. But they look infinitely better and so does she!

So perhaps start thinking about building a work wear base.

Agree about the grooming- it takes a bit of time and effort
I am late 40s

Double cleanse
serum
serum
moisturiser
gua Sha massage
suncream

bed time
double cleanse
serum
serum
night cream- weleda skin food. Cheap and amazing
lip balm
hand cream
uk lash eyelash serum.

body brushing once a week
hair mask once a week
eyebrows every six weeks
eyelash extensions I think are a false economy as they have WRECKED my eyelashes

toenails- I can manage them myself with an at home foot treatment and cut, file and polish. I use a pumice on dry skin before applying some heavy duty foot cream.

finger nails- keep short and buffed. Alternatively clear nail polish.

It’s not just having smooth hair, it’s skin too. Mine has an unfortunate tendency to go red and sweaty! Good luck being polished when your beautiful make ups slipping down your pink cheeks!

I'm sure you look absolutely fine OP. We are all our own harshest critics.

Some of it boils down to how much time and money you have to throw at the problem. I'm in my 50s and have decided to pay what's necessary ( within my own constraints) to make myself feel comfortable with my appearance.

For me, that's -
Hair cut and colour every 8 weeks - I've gone streaky blonde to cover greys and it suits me so much better than when I was a uniform dark brown.

Spray tans as and when - every couple of weeks and I top up with Bondi sands and a facial tanner at home. I'm naturally a corned beef colour so this evens my complexion out a bit. Not the easiest, as keeping on top of exfoliating and moisturising is a pain in the arse, but it is what it is.

Teeth whitening - I use strips. I'm not dazzling white but they look healthy and clean

Eyebrows - micro bladed as my natural hair is quite sparse, and I use Just for men about once a month to cover any greys.

Nail polish - I should go back to acrylics as my job ( florist) means my hands are the worst part. But I always have my toes painted in summer.

Botox - every 3-4 months

Make up - I keep it very streamlined. With a tan I don't need much so just use mascara, bronzer and lipstick. Nothing sparkly or too OTT.

Clothes - I stick to a fairly limited palette. I love black and white.

Jewellery - I always stick to either silver or gold, never mixed.

Shoes - always mended , heeled and polished.

Bags - I have quite a few, and have most occasions covered i.e crossbodies, hobos, totes etc. all in reasonably neutral colours but I do love a pop of colour in a bag.

My natural inclination is towards a bit a slobby and undone. But doing all of the above makes me feel much more polished.

What fake tan product do you use? Is it easy for a newbie?

Agree with hair! Mine is curly and fine, I do use product and it looks OK but you'd never describe it as sleek. I also have chubby cheeks and freckles in the summer - so alas polished was never going to be me!!

Whenever I see someone on Instagram & I wish I had their look they usually have 1. Perfectly blow dried hair, 2. Clothes which are very neutral (black, charcoal, white, camel, 3. No patterns except for the occasional stripe & 4. Interesting gold jewellery. It’s too late for me for summer now but I’m going to have a good attempt at emulating this in Autumn.

Skin wise, I have a pretty good skin care regime & I have nice glowy makeup. Doesn’t last all day though so I’m working of products to help with that. Although I love long hair, it just looks straggly on me. I now have my hair in a blunt long bob (like many pp mentioned). I also have a nicely blended balayage which brightens my face. I get a trim every 2 months & a colour every 4 months. To style it I either do messy curls with my straightened or I use a waver to crimp it (Amika is amazing).

*straightener

Any update on the hair plumper yet? 🤣

I’m curious about the hair plumper too, although Davines Liquid Spell has transformed my thin, fine, flat hair so will throw it out here as a recommendation.