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Original poster

Which outfit?

48 replies

Pickingmyselfup · 28/05/2023 13:12

For a casual birthday dinner out with my mum and her friends. I need some tummy control knickers for the yellow dress...

I'm not sure she likes any of them because they are either a bit dressy or a bit fleshy and she thinks I'm a bit chunky. I can't lose any more weight by the weekend so I am what I am.

2 of them are the same outfits with different shoes.

Which outfit?
Which outfit?
Which outfit?
Which outfit?
Which outfit?
OP posts:
Original poster
Pickingmyselfup · 28/05/2023 13:14

Or this with the nude wedges..

Which outfit?
OP posts:
Crazy8 · 28/05/2023 13:16

The red skirt and white top looks lovely.

IWonderWhereThatDishDidGo · 28/05/2023 13:16

I love the white top, but wouldn't wear it out with my mam and her mates I don't think.

I'd go with the yellow dress. It's very cute.

And you have a lovely figure and are not at all chunky

IWonderWhereThatDishDidGo · 28/05/2023 13:16

I meant the first white top btw. Missed your second post. Still think I like the yellow dress best

Original poster
Pickingmyselfup · 28/05/2023 13:18

The red/orange playsuit is backless BTW as is the first white top.

OP posts:
MarshmallowsOnToast · 28/05/2023 13:19

What the hell?! You are not Chunky at all!!

And you do not need tummy control pants.

You look fabulous and I really like the yellow dress.

Pahpahpotato · 28/05/2023 13:20

How sad that your mum makes you feel like you need to lose weight, I’m sorry she’s so negative about you.
Go with the yellow dress, it’s lovely and matches the sunny weather!

PineappleRightsideup · 28/05/2023 13:21

Definitely as above, would live to have your figure!

BungleandGeorge · 28/05/2023 13:23

Yellow dress. The others depends on where you’re going. I don’t think it’s hot enough for the shorts and the jeans are very casual. The black trousers white top would be my second choice if it’s somewhere casual

Original poster
Pickingmyselfup · 28/05/2023 13:29

It's a casual restaurant and bar, most people are wearing jeans I think.

I do have this dress but this I think is too dressy. This is what I showed her and she basically said my tummy is too flabby for it. I can't shift it though, it's from my 2 c sections and I can't get it smaller. The photo in my gym stuff is what it looks like from the side so it definitely does stick out sadly.

Which outfit?
Which outfit?
OP posts:
FlutteryButterfly · 28/05/2023 15:23

You look great in all of them! Although I think this is a stealth boasting thread 🤔, I definitely wouldn't be listening to your mother she doesn't sound nice at all!

MinxieMax · 28/05/2023 15:27

Yep I'm getting the stealth boast vibe also. How anyone could think you are chunky is hilarious. But you know you are not and it feels to me that you want everyone to tell you this.

Yellow dress anyway it's great. Leave the rest for Ibiza.

GettingStuffed · 28/05/2023 15:30

Wow I can't believe your mother thinks you're flabby. I love the yellow dress on you.
If your mum says anything tell her not to be nasty.

DelphiniumBlue · 28/05/2023 15:46

The red dress is lovely, and I don't think you need shape wear, you look stunning.

LaMarschallin · 28/05/2023 16:07

They all look nice as I'm sure you know.
If "most people are wearing jeans", why not wear jeans?
Is it that you want to show your mother you look nice even in outfits that are too "fleshy"? Like, it's not just a playsuit, it's a backless playsuit...
And, while the yellow dress looks great, it is dressy.

To me, it sounds as though your mother's annoyed you by calling you "chunky" - or however it was put - and that's very understandable and would be, even if you weren't so obviously slim. Mothers shouldn't try to undermine their children.
Hence, you're looking for an outfit to prove her wrong.
So, you could go for any of them.

You could even show her this thread (at the lunch, maybe, if it's her birthday, for extra piquancy). But I hope things aren't that bad!

Original poster
Pickingmyselfup · 28/05/2023 16:55

If I wanted to stealth boast I would be putting something lot better than this!

I don't feel happy with myself and I do feel flabby despite technically not being. It's just the way I feel, I like my top half and think my shoulders look amazing but I don't like below my belly button, never have. It's where I carry all of my weight and I really notice it. I don't think it's fair to say to imply that people of a healthy weight can't have insecurities, I have an absolute bucketful but I am really trying to accept me for being me. I want to be perfect in all areas and I'm not. I'm my own worst enemy because I will sit there and pick myself apart but if it were someone else I wouldn't like don't be ridiculous, you're doing great.

The reason I said they were backless is because she asked me if my planned top was backless in a bit of a horrified manner.

I sent her a picture of the orange dress a while and she thought it didn't look very nice but I thought it did!

I've put in a lot of effort to lose the weight and try tone up so yes I do want to show it off a bit but I know she does judge because in her words I don't look like the models on the Internet. Well no, they've all been photoshopped! It's so much easier going out with my friends or my husband because I don't feel judged.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pickingmyselfup · 28/05/2023 16:59

LaMarschallin · 28/05/2023 16:07

They all look nice as I'm sure you know.
If "most people are wearing jeans", why not wear jeans?
Is it that you want to show your mother you look nice even in outfits that are too "fleshy"? Like, it's not just a playsuit, it's a backless playsuit...
And, while the yellow dress looks great, it is dressy.

To me, it sounds as though your mother's annoyed you by calling you "chunky" - or however it was put - and that's very understandable and would be, even if you weren't so obviously slim. Mothers shouldn't try to undermine their children.
Hence, you're looking for an outfit to prove her wrong.
So, you could go for any of them.

You could even show her this thread (at the lunch, maybe, if it's her birthday, for extra piquancy). But I hope things aren't that bad!

I think you are right! I know I look pretty good in most of them, not perfect but I scrub up alright and I kind of want to prove a point.

She's always commenting on how I'm heavy on my legs and bum or if they look smaller than normal. Or how I didn't glow when I was pregnant but my friend did. I'm fully aware of my flaws but sometimes I don't always want them pointing out.

OP posts:
AllOfThemWitches · 28/05/2023 17:02

That's a lot of mirror selfies.

Original poster
Pickingmyselfup · 28/05/2023 17:17

AllOfThemWitches · 28/05/2023 17:02

That's a lot of mirror selfies.

I take a lot because I keep them for my progress/take photos of outfits to send to my mum to decide what to wear!

The PT I had told me to take regular photos so that I could see how I'm doing with regards to changing my shape. It is very useful to go back and compare to a year ago.

A body builder I will not be but I would like defined muscles 💪

OP posts:
SpeedyMackechnie · 28/05/2023 17:35

Pickingmyselfup · 28/05/2023 13:29

It's a casual restaurant and bar, most people are wearing jeans I think.

I do have this dress but this I think is too dressy. This is what I showed her and she basically said my tummy is too flabby for it. I can't shift it though, it's from my 2 c sections and I can't get it smaller. The photo in my gym stuff is what it looks like from the side so it definitely does stick out sadly.

As my svelte 17 year old daughter would say ' but that's just your organs!'

determinedtomakethiswork · 28/05/2023 17:37

I think you should stop sending photos of yourself to your mother given she's so bitchy about you. The yellow dress is gorgeous and I will wear that but quite honestly all of them look great. I find it really really sad that someone who looks so good, can be so unhappy about their appearance and it's terrible to think that your own mother has instilled this dissatisfaction in you.

IhearyouClemFandango · 28/05/2023 18:56

Why do you run your outfit choices past your mother?

IhearyouClemFandango · 28/05/2023 18:57

Oh and I think the red shirts outfit is most appropriate

Original poster
Pickingmyselfup · 28/05/2023 18:58

IhearyouClemFandango · 28/05/2023 18:56

Why do you run your outfit choices past your mother?

2 reasons...

£1

#1 it's her outing
#2 I feel like she won't just say she likes it to not upset me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pickingmyselfup · 28/05/2023 19:44

So she thinks jeans and white top but I know I'll feel more comfortable in the black trousers because they are higher waisted. This was the outfit I always wanted to go with but when I described it to her she felt it was too dressy. The yellow dress didn't get a mention, she doesn't like it and I know why but there isn't a lot I can do about it but I can see why some of you think it's suitable. I'm going to wear it soon for a drinks date with flip flops. The orange dress I hope to wear on a date night soon too. The playsuit is being worn for a brunch as well.

Thanks for the help everyone, I'm going with black and white and nude wedges eor yellow dress and probably flip flops because I can't think what else goes and I don't have time or the energy to find something that does.

OP posts:
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