At what age should you go grey gracefully?

[Saker]

I'm 53 and started going grey in my 20s. I would be pretty much entirely grey now but get my hair coloured regularly. Last week at the hairdresser, she was hinting I should be thinking about starting to lighten the colour with the aim of letting my grey grow out over the next few years. When I was younger I would have thought that 53 was definitely old enough to be grey! However now I'm that age it seems a bit young. What do other people think?

In addition to how you feel about the time and expense it depends a lot on how flattering the colour is. I made the decision when it suddenly looked too dark and draining.

I can't go lighter because of my colouring (skin light and prone to redness, warm tones don't suit and ash tones too cool) so I made the break. The different challenges of dark, grey and white hair mean it's so rarely quite right, and if you get there it fades so quickly, it's an expensive conveyor belt.

I have friends with darker skin who continue to look amazing even with very dark dyed hair.

I’m 57. I last colored my hair ( blonde) in august of 2019. Paused due to hairdresser health issue and then pandemic. ITS FABULOUS. I love it. I have beautiful natural highlights. It’s so healthy and grows much longer now. Grey hair doesn’t age you…your face ages you . Hair color doesn’t hide an aged face. Holding onto hair color is holding on to who you have always been. Embracing grey is evolving into who you are going to be. I see so many unflattering hair colors and I’m pretty sure despite the high cost mine was unflattering too. I love the time/ money saved. Feel pampered with facials and massages instead. Complimented all the time on my hair.

👍 some women are about 70 before they get a grey hair. I started to go Grey in 20s but it's treated like a disability, the amount of horrible comments is bizarre. It's not ideal to get grey hair early but you can dye it, and there's so many worse problems you can have. But still last 10 years get a few more grey hairs but can't avoid the mean comments

Once in the coffin.

I find it really strange that the default look of an average middle aged hetero couple seems to be grey / bald / white haired ie. natural male and dyed female. Maintaining "young" hair is a trap for women, it's such a lot of work and expense, the dread of the roots becoming visible is a like a ball and chain. The pressure on women to never age is ridiculous, it's a cruel and an impossible expectation.
Regularly saturating your head with strong chemicals is not great for your health either. Men get a free pass because they made the rules. Who would bother covering greys if they didn't fear criticism for going natural? If grey hair was considered aspirational we would see a lot more grey around but of course that's not the case because there's a lot less money to be made from teaching woman to accept and love themselves.
I admire the women who rebel but I understand why others don't dare to, thankfully we are seeing more and more silver sisters appear on the scene. I'm averagely vain and have been on both sides, one thing I would say is if you're interested in rebelling try being grey for a while at least, it takes the fear of the roots away and it's really interesting to see what kind of patterning your natural self / genetics comes up with. If you don't like it you can always go back to a fake colour. It's a bit said to live your whole life and never get to see what nature intended.

It's a bit "sad" to live your whole life and never get to see what nature intended.

My natural colour was what my Dad called 'dishwater blond' basically a dirty looking dark blond. As you can imagine I had it coloured at 14. I have light ash brown. I've had this colour so long people think it is my natural colour. It is probably grey/white underneath. I am 61 and probably should just get the colour removed but I can't bear to be grey yet. I feel a lot younger with light brown hair. Maybe when I'm 65.

I've seen it. I don't like it. I have never dyed my hair a natural colour, anyway.

It's a bit "sad" to be sitting in judgement of other people's hair, isn't it?

I didn't have loads of greys at 50 but my roots were growing through a lot lighter and looking greyish. In lockdown I grew them out and used very temp colours (wella perfecton /6) to blend the different shades in. I am natural now and actually don't have as much grey as I thought I would have (dark blonde hair so it blends in) but there are so many lovely products now to tone grey hair that I'm quite looking forward to the next phase.
Our skin changes as we get into our 50's so a lighter colour can look better than a darker one. You could try getting foils of a lighter shade put in to blend the root regrowth, and see how you get on with that colour?

I’m mid 40s with very few greys. I’m generally pleased with that fact, but when I mentioned not dying my hair to someone she looked at me sceptically and asked if that was my natural colour - clearly I have the face of someone who should have grey hair! So now I almost want more greys to prove I don’t dye my hair 🙄

I always thought I'd go grey early-ish because my mother went totally grey by 30 as did her mother. Clearly I took after the other side of the family. I've had a lot of stress in my life and even that didn't do it! Yep, time to get some grey dye. 😂

I hate women policing other women’s style choices

like “what age should I be grey/stop dying my hair” as if there IS an age

there isn’t

I’m in my 50s and allergic to hair dye, my hair is brown/blonde with a few stray greys.

Most people assume I have it died, even had a comment about how I must be really serious about my looks as I never let my roots show

I grew out my hair during lockdown and I hated seeing a head of grey hair. It made me look old (I was early 50's and looked like I was in my 70's), and I felt awful. I went back to the dye and will continue with it until I'm in my coffin.

I really find this concept odd because it implies any woman who is colouring her hair is not ageing ''gracefully''...

You should do whatever you like with your hair and I would personally change hairdressers as this is not the type of comments they should be making.

I’m 54 and I don’t think I will have grey hair. My aunt who is 70 still has her hair dyed brown (slightly lighter than she used to have) and she looks fab. I think I’ll copy her.
So far I don’t have a lot of grey at all so colouring it is very manageable.
I’ll probably go for a Mary Quant type of Bob and dyed hair.

I’m in my 70s and I decided to grow the colour out in lockdown but I looked awful and as soon as I could started having colour put on. I don’t intend to ever go grey. I don’t think grey hair suits my colouring.

I think this too. It was what was intended. I have no interest in being a sheeple. Then there's all the wasted time sitting at a salon getting it dyed. No thanks.

I've never dyed mine, still mostly blond at 50 admittedly, but no intention of dying

Im 53 dyed my hair in my 20s but haven't dyed it since & been gradually going grey for a few years. Keep it natural - grey hair looks great.

I'm 59 and I still don't have many greys. I'm going grey naturally.

I'm in my late 50s and dye my hair. I don't want to go grey at the moment but I'm sure I will at some point.

There is no age when people should go grey. It's personal choice and I don't see how it makes me or anyone else a 'sheeple'.

There is no “correct age”. You have to do what makes you happy. I got my first greys at 16 and dyed my hair all colours under the sun until my early 40s, when I decided to just go grey.

From time to time I do a washable fun colour like green, but there’s no way that I’m going back to the regular upkeep and expense of permanent dye.

I think lighter tones of colour.
If it is done in a nice suitable blonde tones it can look good with grey.
Remember to consider cost,time involved.
Just as a decent cut, colour definitely.
Try other hairdressers opinions or ideas.

I'm 60 (soon!) and got fed up of waiting for my hair to go grey so have gone artificially white blond - I love it!

I’m early 60s and have my hair coloured 4 times a year, not because I have solid grey roots showing, my natural colour that begins to show in roots is now too dark for my older face plus a smattering of the odd silver hair coming through.

Not sure what my plan will be as would love to give up the cost of hair colouring but wouldn’t like to live with my natural too dark for me now hair colour 😵‍💫