Looking dreadful in photos

[Caterpillargirl23]

It's rare for me to see a photograph I look good in or myself in. I tried to avoid having my picture taken because I find the results upsetting.
I want to join in with the modern world and be able to show a picture of me on holiday to friends and family but it doesn't happen.
Typical situation: I spent time on my clothes / hair and make up for a birthday treat over the weekend. Had a picture taken and I may as well not have bothered with the effort, I looked awful. If I spend the same amount of time prepping food, then the results are generally good, it's not the same on me.
I don't really know what I look like because the mirror and the camera say different things, which is the truth? I thought I looked better with make up (mirror), then looked rubbish in the photo (now deleted of course).
I want to get over this issue, it's gone on for years now (I'm mid fifties).
No one really tries to take my picture, I don't know if that's because they think I look dreadful and they are being diplomatic or it doesn't occur to them to do it.

Anyone else been here and managed to change their mindset? Or managed to become more photogenic somehow?

Sorry but I'm same age and the last few years have felt the same way. I'm not sure it will get better until I'm at the point I don't care.
Had a few decent photos taken in my late 20s, early 30s but since then I'm embarrassed how bad I look and can't bring myself to even look at them. It's got worse since I let my hair go grey tbh. I look nice enough in the mirror but the camera says different. I don't really know what the answer is, probably just acceptance and recognising that in the greater scheme of things it's unimportant !

Feel like I could have written this. I have very few pictures of myself that I like. I think there are people who are better at getting their photo taken than others. I have seen pictures of people before I met them and thought that they looked better in real life. Your character and personality contribute a lot to how people see you and that is hard to capture in a photo.

Also, if we are talking about photos on social media, most are heavily filtered and the person has taken about 50 before they get the one they like 😊

I don't really do social media and how I look is one of the reasons.

All I want to do is share a picture or two on WhatsApp, eg me at the beach, me in front of monument, me at restaurant and so on.

I take care of myself with diet, exercise, SPF and sleep. I watch YT for make up advice I should look better.

Can you perhaps have a family member or a friend take some photos of you, so you can practise som angles and faces? Someone you feel safe with, for fun and just to get used to it?
And then you can look at the photos and get used to looking at photos with yourself in.

And also, I am sure you look better in photos than you think!

@Samphiredragonfly
A couple of things have happened recently to make me think about this a bit

1 A health scare, if I were to die the DC would have very few pictures to remember me with
2 Dsis's friend made a lovely birthday photo book for her, it was great, she photographs well. Even if I had a friend to do this for me there just arn't the pictures out there to use.

I know you said you don't do social media but I would really recommend following Christine Buzan who is a very charming and warm American woman who gives great tips on how to look better in photos.
I keep forgetting to follow her advice, but really enjoying watching her content. Might be worth a look?

This lady has lots of tips, for example:

vm.tiktok.com/ZMYwpSyn8/

She also has a clip on how to position your body and it really does make a difference!

I have no photos of myself, I look truly awful in them.
Fat cheeks, massive nose, thin lips, long face, flatchested, a bit stumpy looking. Just bloody awful.

Find a Gen Z person to take the pictures

https://www.boredpanda.com/gen-z-vs-millenials-taking-pictures/

Start taking selfies until you find your best face angle...mine is with my face slightly angled to the right. Makes a HUGE difference to how my face looks in photos.

I still need to nail a good body pose though...I know there's a trick to bending the leg slightly but I haven't worked it out yet.

As someone else above said, it's important to leave photos of yourself behind for future generations...I promise they will think more of a person with a beaming smile and radiant energy than a perfectly posed model
X

@SkaneTos I don't have a friend I could turn to about this.
@Yolo12345 It's my face rather than my body.
I don't have natural attributes such as a nice smile or thick hair.

@Yolo12345 actually that was useful, I might try it.
Thank you everybody for replying.
I'm sorry to hear there are others like me out there who feel the same. As the world has become more obsessed with the visual I feel more left out.

@TheLostNights
I have fine, flat hair, not loads of it, a large forehead and an overbite.

My eyes are big with a lot of wrinkly lid and I wear glasses.

For every 20 photos taken of me only one is any good. That reality is the same for a lot of people. You just need to have loads taken, as pp have said, practice camera angles and different poses.

I hate photos of myself, but force myself to have them taken for my children, my Mum hated having her photo taken too, she died a few years ago, I have hardly any photos of her.

@onebusymum I should have been more like this from the start of parenthood. I've shied away and no one has encouraged me otherwise.

You probably tense up when the camera comes out and look unnatural. People who look good in photos are usually relaxed.

I am the most unphotogenic person and I hate other peoples photos of me. My mil is an indiscriminate snapper and her pictures make me genuinely sad. In a room full of people I will always be the one who looks big, red and old, and everyone else looks fine. It doesn’t help that she just randomly snaps photos. I’m not stunning but I’m ok and if I’m dressed up and in makeup I look alright, but photos make me look hideous. I do take selfies and pics with the dc that look ok but there’s whole albums of family photos that I could genuinely burn on a bonfire.

@MidnightMeltdown I do tense up, I think this is part of the problem.

This is me 😂

I look so great when I leave for work in the morning and check in the mirror...then it all begins to unravel as I catch glimpses of my reflection through the day 😩

If you can't beat them join them, download Facetune and filter your snaps slightly so you look like you in real life rather than you in photos.

I'm.absolutely not photogenic. It's bloody hilarious. Stopped being bothered years ago - there is no angle and no pose I'm afraid. Good luck on the search for better pics!
Bear in mind that a flat image of you isn't the same as the 3d image people see and love. They're very different things.

Thank you for your lighthearted comments😂I wish I didn't get so upset about it and could see a funny side. I try to look good, so disppointing when I don't.

I saw a great quote on Instagram recently along the lines of…

if someone sees a rubbish photo of a sunset they don’t think ‘that sunset is so ugly’ - they think ‘that photo isn’t great’!

All that said though I can see why it bothers you! Maybe a pro photographer could help. They're not all cheesy.