Need to turn myself around

[Mammothtask]

Heads up, I don’t have much a budget so can’t spend loads over all. I need help with my weight, skin and hair care, and clothes. I weight 13 stone and am just 5ft tall so I look massive and my head looks too small for my body. I have huge stretch marks all over including ones that go from the top of my leg to the bottom. I huge legs and arms, fat rolls, round face, pimples and rashes appearing all the time, sagging skin under my face and double chin, the works. I don’t know about food and how much I should be having of what but at the same time I don’t have loads of money to eat healthily. I’m young and have tried low impact, beginner and senior workouts but find myself in agony and can’t move for days after with muscle strain as I don’t know what I’m meant to be doing beforehand or after. I just use the cheap £1 Alberto balsam and don’t know if it’s fine but my hair doesn’t seem to like it and might go back to the expensive head and shoulders. I’ve never shown myself in public with makeup, I bought a few bits a few years ago and I didn’t look good in it and it started to burn after not long. I don’t have many clothes, I don’t even have a bra as it makes me uncomfortable but I have big boobs and it hurts when I exercise. I think I’d have to buy a new wardrobe for cheap as I can’t afford new but don’t know what I should look for. I need some comfy cheap shoes too. If you got this far, I would love to turn myself around, it feels like a mammoth task and I could really use support.
TIA

Sounds like your self esteem is at an all time low, sending hugs!

First thing I can suggest is download the Vinted app for second hand clothes and items. I've gone part time since having DS and don't have the spare cash for new clothes and it's been a god send to helping me update my wardrobe at a fraction of the cost. If you don't know what styles suit you, have a browse in a few shops and try a few different styles on - you don't have to buy them. Hard to suggest any styles as I don't know you or your body type but that would be a good start for you.

Sending solidarity on the big boobs - they're a pain! I was stuffing myself into the same 1 bra for about 4 years. I had enough in the end and got myself a bra fitting appointment at M & S (free by the way!) and got myself properly measured. Got a lovely comfy well fitting bra for £10.

Hair wise, I can't fault Herbal Essences shampoo and conditioner (the blue bottles) - you can pick these up usually for about £2 each. Get yourself a face wash or scrub. I pick up whatever is on offer usually Nivea or Simple and exfoliate your skin. Moisturizer, again, I don't go for anything expensive, as long as it does it's job, but all skin types are different, so you may want to experiment with that. If you have dry skin, get a good thick moisturizer and apply it generously and leave over night. Oily skin, get a more lightweight one and apply a bit more sparingly.

You don't have to break the bank to eat healthily. Have a look on instagram for some good cheap healthy meal ideas. A slow cooker is a great way to make cheap healthy meals!

Don't be too hard on yourself x

You need to wear a bra. If you don't know your size and you can't face being measured, take a punt and try lots on in any department store or big supermarket. You probably need a bigger cup size than you think so don't be scared of big cup sizes. Don't let scary bra measurers put you off, I've never been measured in my life.

Once you know your size, you can buy more on ebay.

Make up
BB cream in medium maybe a bourjois one
Vaseline on lips
Mascara

Food
Eat whatever you have now but make up either veg soup or salad for lunch. Snack on this too.. You can make it every 3 days.

Exercise
Do you like walking? If not find an easy work out on YouTube and do 15 min of it, next week try 20 and build up each week.

Wear your hair down and straighten it

You don't need money to eat healthily. Throw out all the biscuits/cake/sugar processed foods, ready meals and fizzy drinks. ( Get some eggs, vegetables ( even frozen would be fine), fruits, lentils, Greek yoghurt, nuts, and some lean protein. Learn how to cook, if you don't already know. or start with some really simple food like stirfry or roast some veggies.

Walk- it's the cheapest and easiest form of exercise, and you are not likely to injure yourself. Listen to a free podcast. Start small and gradually increase.

Absolutely start with a bra and then go on Vinted or charity shops.

@pag2020 Yes, I don’t feel good about myself at all and thanks for the hug. I’m curvy and have an hourglass figure. I’ll check out vinted, but I’m hoping it’s not as expensive as the charity shops are. I really need to start building a wardrobe, im not comfortable in what I have which is just basic t-shirts with no shape to them, leggings and jeans I can’t close without suffocating. Did you get the £10 bra recently? I suppose one of the things about going into a shop is the fear they’ll try and sell me things. Not sure it’s comparable but In 2016 I went into a big shopping centre and needed help to find shoes, they convinced me to buy ones worth £100 and some other bits I couldn’t justify or afford. I’ll try herbal Essence next time I get the shopping in. I’ve actually got an aveeno face wash due to sensitive skin but pimples are still appearing all over the place.

@MorrisZapp
I might go online and order some bras and send them back if they don’t fit. I need a bra for exercise as well.

@Wishona a bit of mascara actually does make a difference. Whats BB cream and can you recommend specific makeup products?

@GeriKellmansUpdo I only have ugg type boots from winter and need normal shoes but can’t decide. I tried converse and got terrible blisters that never healed.

@Mammothtask

Mascara, Maybelline Great Lash in pink and green tube

BB cream is blemish balm. A bit like a tinted moisturiser, so easier than foundation. I like Bourjois but have a look in Superdrug. Garnier ones are half price just now so £5.

In Superdrug you could get a little MUA palette for £3.75 if you wanted to try eyeshadow. I’d get a coppery colour one and just dip your finger on and smudge a bit on your eye lid.

It would take 5 min and make a big difference. I often don’t bother, but when I do I definitely look better. I think it might make you feel happier.

Commit to doing ONE thing every day to make yourself feel better.
One thing, whether it’s choosing to tell your inner voice to f@@k off, to walk a bit, to eat healthier/not eat the treat, find a women’s group/keep posting here/go and see about new underwear - get fitted and see. You don’t have to buy, just say you’ll think about it. Once you know your size it’s a start.
Do you need to see a Dr about your skin, it sounds as if it’s sore at times?
Sometimes a dr can do a referral for health intervention, around here it’s called Social Prescribing, have you heard of it?
Do you have a support system around you, friends/family?
What I’m trying to get across to you is that little steps matter, forget about loosing 3 stone etc - but for today make a healthy choice, choose to be kind and love yourself and the weight loss will happen.
But you have to start 😉
Start to do one thing differently tonight. Then one thing tomorrow. Things become habits and change is possible.
So START 💗
And you can do it

https://socialprescribingacademy.org.uk/what-is-social-prescribing/

this is about social prescribing, near me it’s used just for a wee boost/support/direction. You don’t need to be in a crisis. I think you can get referral through gp/pharmacy/community group.

It might be worth looking into.
Keep coming back to post here, it’s incredible how much support can be found here.

I've had some of the Asda T-shirt bras. They're comfy and give a nice shape
https://direct.asda.com/george/women/lingerie/bras/coral-lace-trim-t-shirt-bra/GEM1003206,default,pd.html?cgid=D1M18G2C1 and not too much money.

Focus on losing the weight and getting a good supportive bra and decent shoes you can walk in.

Walking- start walking. Just in 15 minute bursts and do that 2/3 times a day.

Get out and walk. Stick headphones in and listen to some music. Even better listen to something hopeful/uplifting either a podcast or music.

Asda bras are great!

I wouldn’t bother too much with a new wardrobe as yet- perhaps think about getting instead a couple of plain t shirts in white and some slim leg black joggers. H and M are good. These with some white chunky trainers- Asda or sainsbos will have some nice cheap ones. That and a cross body bumbag. Mascara and lip gloss. Hoop earrings.

get your eyebrows shaped and waxed. Eyelash tint and lift- that will set you back about £30 and will instantly refresh and lift your whole face.

m The ordinary products are good value and not too spendy. the buffet serum is good. That with the q10 moisturisers copy from Aldi is a good start.

OP, Converse are no good for walking in. You need proper walking shoes. I have Adidas, but I'd suggest you go to a Decathlon or similar near you, try on shoes, and ask for advice, especially as you haven't walked for a while. Decathlon has budget options.

And I do think you need to get properly fitted for a sports bra if you are busty. I buy my bras online, but I am not busty.

Do these two things first, so you don't get overwhelmed. They are the only two things you may not want to buy on Vinted. Then slowly start with the others.

M&S do bra fitting and you can always bring things back if you feel you have overspent. When I buy anything new, I keep the tags on and don't use it for a couple of days to make sure I absolutely want to keep it.

Agree with a pp you need to break it down and commit to smaller changes otherwise you'll just feel overwhelmed. Can you maybe write down weekly targets for different areas you can commit to? There's no point thinking about losing loads of weight or getting a whole new wardrobe straight away but maybe something like:

Shoes - have a look on Vinted or Ebay. I am someone who literally gets blisters from wearing new flip flops but Brooks trainers are the comfiest ones I've ever had and I never got blisters from them. They are actually specialist running trainers but I don't run anymore but wear these when I walk/gym whatever. They are expensive but you might be able to find a cheaper second hand pair. If not try and go for 'sports'-style trainers rather than 'fashion' trainers like Converse as they'll have more support. Look on Sports Direct website as they often have cheap deals on decent stuff too.

Bra(s) - see if you can go and get measured. I personally prefer Bravissimo as they are specialists in D+ but I admit their stuff is expensive. But they are lovely and won't pressure you into buying anything. If you think you'll be pressured into buying something, leave your card at home. Maybe take £20 cash with you so you literally know you can't spend more than that. Look for t shirt style soft bras for everyday. Look online for non-wired bralettes in sports brands (Under Armour etc.) which are much comfier and don't tend to come in bra sizes so you'd just need to pick small, medium, large etc.

Walking - Once you have walking shoes and a bra, commit to getting out for a short walk every day for a while. It will improve your mind as well as your health so you'll be in a better place to tackle the rest

Skin - I would make an appointment to see your GP as burning sensation from makeup and painful breakouts sounds like hormonal issues and something your doctor should be able to help with. For me, mascara, concealer, a bit of blusher and lip gloss/lip balm is usually enough to make me feel a bit better about myself

Food - healthy food isn't always expensive. Just try to have protein to fill you up (meat, fish, tofu, beans, eggs, Greek yoghurt), fruit/veg/salad and carbs like rice and potatoes as a staple. Don't starve yourself, eat so you feel full and satisfied and use it to fuel your body so you have energy to do your walks. Also increase your water intake if you can which helps as sometimes we confuse thirst with hunger

Finally I'd just say please be kind to yourself, not many of us are totally happy with everything but I do find that focusing on one area usually has a knock on effect on other areas. I hope you feel better soon and start to feel good about yourself

One get a bra that fits. I would say pluck up the courage to measure yourself. There's no need to add 4

Get a tape measure and do boobs or bust and then order from brastop.com
Go to sports direct and try on loads of trainers including men's section or children's if needed.
Losing weight is mostly through diet, find a diet you can stick to where you eat less calories. It can be any diet but bottom line you need less calories and to commit for 6 months at least.

Contd inches as this is out of date. Measure your under bust and your fullest point then go up a cup size for every inch your boobs are bigger than your ribs.

Brastop is good for bigger boobs, I love people recommending bras for big boobs that only go up to an E or if you're lucky a G , absolutely no use if you're a HH .

For exercise I'd start with some stretches. Don't try too much at the start as you'll be prone to injury.

A short walk around the block getting gradually longer is also a good idea. My DH did this after his heart op so it won't strain you but will still increase your fitness.

For diet cut out the obviously unhealthy like cakes, biscuits, sweets although a square or two of dark,at least 70%, chocolate.

This going to be a long process so don't worry if you don't seem to be doing much a slow start gradually improving diet and exercise is the way to go. If you really don't understand nutrition ask your doctor to refer you to a dietician.

I’ve cleaned the kitchen and had pasta with broccoli. I’ve hardly moved today and might fit in a 15 min walking workout on YouTube and then probably end up going to bed early. Downloaded vinted and then convinced myself to buy a couple of things that don’t fit me as a goal to fit into one day, also impulsively bought a massive handbag which is so nice it will look like I’ve stolen it. I have no idea what to use it for. spent about £30 in total on the 3 items inc shipping. money I could’ve done without spending and can’t afford. I have little self control. 🤦‍♀️
I really need help to look for some comfy cheap shoes online though if that’s a thing. And guidance on practical clothes, really need to be strict with myself or I’ll buy things I can’t wear

What size are you op?

I’m a size 14

Can you tell us about a typical day for you? When you wake up, what you eat and how you spend time? This sounds mad but disordered sleep is a cause of obesity, so a good sleep routine is absolutely free, but can help you feel and look better. Honestly, healthy food is less processed and often cheaper than unhealthy. I have porridge made with semi skimmed milk and an orange for breakfast. Really cheap. If you can’t cook, you do need to learn.
Buy clothes to fit you now. Seems daft to have an aspirational outfit when you have no bra and no comfortable shoes. Things will get better x

Primark has really comfy trainers, and super affordable if that's an option for you. If not second hand Nike's maybe, they last so worth the money Vs potentially trainers that might fall apart quicker.

M&s outlet if you have one near you - can get jeans tops anything for £10 or so.

I lost 60 lbs last year and all I did was walking.

Skincare - just need a face cleanser and moisturizer, something gentle and not irritating on skin. Cetaphil, Simple, Cerave are all affordable skincare brands.

Hair - shampoo and conditioner, doesn't have to be expensive. Maybe dove on sale I think I pay around £2 for a big bottle.

Kallos hair masks are amazing to rescue hair - £3 for a tub that lasts more than a year, can buy online, recommend the keratin one.

I don't bother with makeup or nails which saves lots of money but since I've lost weight and embraced simple outfits like jeans and top I feel put together without it.

Good luck - please be kind to yourself x

I wouldn't class a size 14 as overweight OP. I think you're being very hard on yourself. Enjoy your Vinted purchases! I hope you enjoy them! X

I’m 5ft so at a size 14 I am overweight. If I was taller it would be ok. I just know I could be a lot smaller as I have a lot of fat to lose.

Hi @Mammothtask
You sound like the perfect au naturel person, you haven't ruined your skin with all the crappy products out there or any of the cosmetic fads.
I think you have the perfect foundation.
Start with exercise and food, the rest will follow x
Sending you hugs and lots of positive vibes x