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Original poster

When your body doesn’t match your personal style

109 replies

Tarantellah · 27/03/2023 11:00

I have an English Rose kind of look. Pale, rosy cheeks, fair wavy hair, rounded body with full hips. I look great in soft pastels and flowery dresses cinched in at the waist.

The problem is it doesn’t match my personality or what I want to look like. I want to look like an architect. Black clothes, plain colours, boxy shapes which suit a skinny body with no hips. Styles which don’t suit me at all, and which don’t look right on me.

Basically what happens is I try on clothes I like but I look shit in them. Then I try on clothes I hate which look great on my body but they aren’t me. So I end up not buying anything. I live in plain sweaters and black trousers because I can’t find anything that I like which also suits me. Help!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
Jeansandbeans · 27/03/2023 12:18

I was thinking straight off the bat that a pencil skirt might be a good idea for your lower half and then maybe look at sleeveless dresses too.

Picklebawl · 27/03/2023 12:25

Hear hear. I have often posted that if I try the Scandi look I resemble Sandi Toksvig and not a statuesque architect. I am not lean and tanned, but pale with a good set of Welsh thick legs. I think I’m meant to wear flowery waisted dresses: I’d have been a hit at WW2 dances!

Snoozinandlosin · 27/03/2023 14:24

I have many of your features and I have the same tastes as you but I have found a way through this. Ultimately it comes down to the fact that not all boxy shapes are equal. Whenever you select something oversized or boxy it needs to show off part of you that is comparatively slim. For me that’s my neck and collar bones or my forearms/wrists, so a simple crew neck T will look sh*t on me because it cuts across the worst bit of my arms and hide my collar bones. I have small boobs so a simple straight dress with a deep V neck or a open collar looks great on me even if it has no shape in the middle (and I have hips and a bit of a belly).
Also, you need very unstructured blazers and coats to layer on top. These are harder to find. It’s a bit trial and error but don’t give up yet!

Jewelanemone · 27/03/2023 14:29

God, yes! I desperately want to be clad in flowy, drapey linens and cottons like a boho/beach chick. Instead I suit shift dresses, which are about as far from boho as it's possible to be. I blame my boobs.

Cottagecheeseisnotcheese · 27/03/2023 14:37

you need a stylist or a colour analysist; there is something in between flowery dresses and boxy black,
black may not be the best neutral for you but navy or earth tones may work better, also you can have the dress style that suits you but in plain fabric can you try the clothes you like in different colours or the styles that suit you in different fabrics/colours to find out what works

HyancinthsAndTulips · 27/03/2023 16:10

I have many of your features and I have the same tastes as you but I have found a way through this. Ultimately it comes down to the fact that not all boxy shapes are equal. Whenever you select something oversized or boxy it needs to show off part of you that is comparatively slim. For me that’s my neck and collar bones or my forearms/wrists, so a simple crew neck T will look sht on me because it cuts across the worst bit of my arms and hide my collar bones. I have small boobs so a simple straight dress with a deep V neck or a open collar looks great on me even if it has no shape in the middle (and I have hips and a bit of a belly).*

Completely agree with this, Snoozin's explanation is spot on! I don't think you need to be super skinny with no curves to pull off interesting, voluminous shapes. I'm a tall pear shape (small boobs, slim waist, big hips and bum), wear a lot of COS-type stuff and often get compliments on my clothes. What doesn't work for me is wide-legged trousers and an oversized top worn together - makes me look bigger than I am all over.

HealthyFats · 27/03/2023 16:21

My personal style- Image A
My actual body- image B

When your body doesn’t match your personal style
When your body doesn’t match your personal style
thedevilinablackdress · 27/03/2023 16:25

Interesting topic. I now wonder which of the... eclectic...looks I veer between actually suits me?
Scandi architect Cos person, grown up version of self in 1994, Diane Keaton gentlewoman...

museumum · 27/03/2023 16:29

I hear you. I have boobs and a waist and look a bit 1950s. I am however a cross between tomboy and a bit arty. I wore boho stuff in my 20s but now look like a bag lady in boho so either wear boring stuff or a bit Esme Young on Great British Sewing Bee...

KILM · 27/03/2023 16:35

Same! And for a long time, everything that suited hourglass shapes was office wear -pencil skirts, fitted shirts or club wear- tight everything.
The tide of high waist and wide leg trousers has been very welcome for me!! I didn't think wide leg would look good but they highlight an hourglass shape better than skinny jeans (or at least I feel like they do)

Hotvimto3 · 27/03/2023 16:35

Im tall and have huge boobs and fat arms and tum. Fairly slim legs and waist.
I like tomboy sporty clothes. Simple t shirts and jumpers.
I look like a fluffy fucking balloon in everything.
In dresses i look matronly
I cant wear jeans as legs look great but cant button any up over tum.
The only thing i look ok in is leggings, long top and a blazer.

Hotvimto3 · 27/03/2023 16:41

What i want to look like vs what I do.

When your body doesn’t match your personal style
When your body doesn’t match your personal style
Original poster
Tarantellah · 27/03/2023 16:41

HealthyFats · 27/03/2023 16:21

My personal style- Image A
My actual body- image B

I look like A but I want to look like B/C. Except I’m too plump and conventional looking. And low priced high street stores sell stuff that’s more like the outfit in A - not only does the boxy minimal clothing not suit me, it’s also only sold by the more expensive stores that I can’t afford.

When your body doesn’t match your personal style
When your body doesn’t match your personal style
When your body doesn’t match your personal style
OP posts:
Original poster
Tarantellah · 27/03/2023 16:43

Hotvimto3 · 27/03/2023 16:41

What i want to look like vs what I do.

@Hotvimto3 yes! That’s exactly my problem! 😩

OP posts:
WithFlamingLocksOfAuburnHair · 27/03/2023 16:50

Snoozinandlosin · 27/03/2023 14:24

I have many of your features and I have the same tastes as you but I have found a way through this. Ultimately it comes down to the fact that not all boxy shapes are equal. Whenever you select something oversized or boxy it needs to show off part of you that is comparatively slim. For me that’s my neck and collar bones or my forearms/wrists, so a simple crew neck T will look sh*t on me because it cuts across the worst bit of my arms and hide my collar bones. I have small boobs so a simple straight dress with a deep V neck or a open collar looks great on me even if it has no shape in the middle (and I have hips and a bit of a belly).
Also, you need very unstructured blazers and coats to layer on top. These are harder to find. It’s a bit trial and error but don’t give up yet!

I find Cos great for this. But I need to take 10 items into the changing rooms to find 2-3 great ones.

Hotvimto3 · 27/03/2023 16:51

Tarantellah · 27/03/2023 16:43

@Hotvimto3 yes! That’s exactly my problem! 😩

Show quote history

Ha ha im basically a potatoe with more potatoes stuck to me.
If i didnt have the boobs and belly my options would be so much better.
I just want to look neat and streamlined. Not like a milkmaids gran.

Hotvimto3 · 27/03/2023 16:52

Tarantellah · 27/03/2023 11:00

I have an English Rose kind of look. Pale, rosy cheeks, fair wavy hair, rounded body with full hips. I look great in soft pastels and flowery dresses cinched in at the waist.

The problem is it doesn’t match my personality or what I want to look like. I want to look like an architect. Black clothes, plain colours, boxy shapes which suit a skinny body with no hips. Styles which don’t suit me at all, and which don’t look right on me.

Basically what happens is I try on clothes I like but I look shit in them. Then I try on clothes I hate which look great on my body but they aren’t me. So I end up not buying anything. I live in plain sweaters and black trousers because I can’t find anything that I like which also suits me. Help!

I think we do have to go with what suits us tho. Find the pants that suit then buy a pair in really nice fabric etc. I find a really good blazer hides my sins.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 27/03/2023 17:09

I increasingly favour boho style and last year got the notion to wear some sort of burnout velvet jacket or kimono over artfully faded jeans, aiming for an aging Stevie Nicks style. Purchased a couple of beautiful items from Poshmark.

OMG. I'm short and plump and looked like one of the munchkins from Wizard of Oz dragging a tatty bedspread around my shoulders.

Back to the boring black V-neck, long-sleeved tops.

Whichwhatnow · 27/03/2023 17:14

Oh OP I feel your pain! In my heart I'm punk as fuck and edgy, I love androgynous clothes, band t-shirts and asymmetrical hair etc. But the reality is I'm five foot 2 and pear shaped with wavy brown hair and decidedly unchiselled features. I've tried to go a bit rockabilly as a sort of compromise but it pains me to admit I'd look a lot better just going all-in for the Nigella Lawson look.

housemaus · 27/03/2023 17:19

Whichwhatnow · 27/03/2023 17:14

Oh OP I feel your pain! In my heart I'm punk as fuck and edgy, I love androgynous clothes, band t-shirts and asymmetrical hair etc. But the reality is I'm five foot 2 and pear shaped with wavy brown hair and decidedly unchiselled features. I've tried to go a bit rockabilly as a sort of compromise but it pains me to admit I'd look a lot better just going all-in for the Nigella Lawson look.

I'm the same size and shape as you and currently wearing a band tshirt and my Docs... I say you should go for it 😏

Picklebawl · 27/03/2023 17:37

The other problem is hair… I envisage myself casually putting up my hair in a messy bun, secured with a pencil.

This is completely impossible if you have very fine hair, “as straight as a yard of pump water” as my grandmother would say.

Original poster
Tarantellah · 27/03/2023 17:55

@Picklebawl I have the opposite problem. I want to look sleek and manicured, but I’m wavy and frizzy, my hair never looks flat and trendy!

OP posts:
Jeansandbeans · 27/03/2023 18:03

I don’t have one particular style that I go for in terms of ‘style personalities’ sometimes I want to emulate French style and have a classic kind of look (and still modern) and at other times I want to look like I am fashion forward etc.

I am really confused by what my body shape is and perhaps what I should do is make an appointment with the JL personal stylist to find out.

GlamourPuss78 · 27/03/2023 18:16

I think weight loss and haircut can assist in this. In photo A and B with Bridget Jones it's literally that the first woman is skinny.
There are people who lost weight specifically to be able to dress in a way that reflects their taste. There are people who straighten their hair everyday and have keratin straightening treatment. Drop weight to 18-20 BMI.
You can have that look but you need to work at it.