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Style and beauty

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How to improve my look

32 replies

TheLostNights · 24/03/2023 13:46

I need help from anyone in the know about these things.
I am very ugly and it's seriously getting me down. I want to try and improve somehow but no clue about make up etc.
Here's the main problem areas:
Very thin and lank hair. Very dry scalp also but gets greasy easily. It's shoulder length with long layers, still looks crap.
Pale skin with freckles. Want to look more tanned and hide the freckles.
Massive pointy nose. Is there a clever make up skill to make it look smaller?
Thin lips. Product for making them look bigger?
Flat chest. Need suggestions for good brands of bras.
Clothing suggestions. 37 but constantly mistaken for late teens or early twenties. I don't dress young, it's usually skinny jeans and a jumper, quite plain really but I am quite short and slim which doesn't help. Just need ideas on what to wear but nothing too pricey.
Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
MetaDaughter · 24/03/2023 15:11

You know it’s really quite distressing to see you wanting to change almost everything about your own person. I guarantee you’re not ugly.

Have you really never seen a beautiful, successful happy woman with pale skin, a pointy nose and thin lips? There’s nothing at all wrong with these features.

As for your hair - you can certainly get some advice on the best products, but I’m sure a good hairdresser would be able to make the best of your hair as it currently is.

Clothes … What’s your lifestyle at the moment? Do you need formal business clothes? Event clothes? School run clothes? And where do you usually shop?

Sorryyoufeelthatway · 24/03/2023 15:51

I think its your attitude that is the issue.
from what you have told me-

You are young looking, slim with beautiful freckles! You sound bloody lovely.
Maybe think about why you are feeling so down about yourself? What is the REAL issue.

update the skinnies, ask your hairdresser to recommend a shampoo?

Fat injected lips are much worse than thin! Get some pumping lip gloss if it makes you feel better. Search Makeup tutorials on youtube or tiktok

highfidelity · 24/03/2023 15:56

Gosh, reading your post made me feel so sad for so many reasons. You need to stop giving yourself a hard time and learn to like yourself and how you look. I suspect you're not ugly at all.

Why do you want to hide your freckles? They're beautiful. I used to work with someone who covered hers with thick make-up which rather looked like a mask and gave her something of a blank complexion. It rather drew attention to the fact she was trying to conceal her freckles. For the record, I have loads of freckles, never once have I ever considered hiding them and don't wear foundation or any kind of complexion correcting make-up. Instead, I have always concentrated on skincare so my skin glows.

As for your nose, well, I have an aquiline nose and again, never thought about trying to disguise because on a practical note, short of having an nose job, nothing will make it smaller. (And that has never been a consideration). Am sure some will recommend contouring but I think it looks ridiculous and can draw more attention. What I will suggest is that a centre parting is not your friend in this instance and an off-centre or side parting is best. Weirdly, wearing my hair pulled back from my face makes my nose look better too.

Lastly, thin lips. I am also thin of lip. In fact, my bottom lip is wonky and when I smile, I have a smile similar to Cherie Blair, so not good at all. I tend to stick to a good natural lip gloss and line my lips with a liner the same shade as my lips. I sometimes wear a blue-red lipstick too. Thin lips are perfectly fine and nothing to be down about. Would rather have them than over-inflated filler-filled lips.

Can't comment on the flat chest other than I would kill for that - clothes, particularly blouses and shirts hang so much better on a small bosom.

Flockameanie · 24/03/2023 16:16

Freckles and pale skin is beautiful!
Embrace it x

Kidsandcat · 24/03/2023 17:05

Most of us would kill to look young!! I think a decent hair cut and very light fake tan and bronzer. Highlights or lowlights could add extra texture maybe. Try some loose waves with tongs or straightener. Sounds like you could wear most things. If your brows are pale I would suggest getting them dyed at a beautician as it would give definition and would detract from your nose which I am sure is fine. Nude pinky lip colour with lip pencil slightly over the lines to make lips look a bit bigger.

Rafamad435 · 24/03/2023 17:11

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TheLostNights · 24/03/2023 18:37

Unfortunately I am ugly and my nose in particular is really big and pointy. Interesting about the side parting making it potentially look bigger though as I changed my hair from a side parting to centre recently, now thinking I should go back to the previous style.
As for looking young, it's in a childish immature way, not a 'She looks a good few years younger' sort of comment but 'You still look like a teen' but in an unkempt, messy, immature way if that makes sense.
I have had friends laugh at photos of me as well as a college tutor say 'Wow. Well that really isn't a good photo is it?' When looking at my ID.
Called pinocchio, asked by kids why my nose is so long and pointy. Laughed at when I was at school and asked 'Have you even started puberty yet?' A kid once asked her mum why my nose was so long and her mum said 'It's just how God made her.' Made me feel incredibly small.
I feel disgusted when I look in the mirror and tell myself I am ugly at least 3 times a day if not more. I am late thirties now so things only going to get worse.
Just wanted some tips as I feel it may help a little bit. To answer the clothes question, I work from home a lot and so am quite a casual dresser.

OP posts:
AllOfThemWitches · 24/03/2023 18:42

Decent haircut for sure. I personally think 'interesting' noses can make people look very striking (in a good way) but I'm sure youtube is full of tutorials for making them look smaller. If it's making you feel really horribly insecure, would you rule out surgery?

Also, I think freckles are generally seen as beautiful, people fake them !

TheLostNights · 24/03/2023 18:44

Have been considering surgery but then I know I would then want my lips and boobs done and can't afford all of that.
The freckles contribute to me looking like a kid which is why I want to conceal them.
I've been to the hairdressers and even she said 'Wow, has your hair always been this thin?" She's done what she can but still looks crap.

OP posts:
AllOfThemWitches · 24/03/2023 18:50

TheLostNights · 24/03/2023 18:44

Have been considering surgery but then I know I would then want my lips and boobs done and can't afford all of that.
The freckles contribute to me looking like a kid which is why I want to conceal them.
I've been to the hairdressers and even she said 'Wow, has your hair always been this thin?" She's done what she can but still looks crap.

I think it's worth bearing in mind that despite rude comment, your 'flaws' will be more obvious to you than anyone else.

Lip plumping glosses (good ones) might work for you. As far as wanting a boob job goes, I think this should be a case of working with what you've got. So many clothes will look amazing on you where they wouldn't on someone with boobs bigger than a C cup (looking at you Zara).

TheLostNights · 24/03/2023 22:20

Unfortunately my nose cannot be ignored. My side profile is disgusting. I always avoid speaking to someone from the side as I'm sure they are thinking the same thing.
I've got some ideas from here. Going back to a side fringe and also lip plumping glosses.

OP posts:
CheshGirl · 24/03/2023 22:24

Where are you based! I want to come and give you a make over and have a glass of wine!

Do you have a budget for self improvement?

FurAndFeathers · 24/03/2023 22:26

I feel disgusted when I look in the mirror and tell myself I am ugly at least 3 times a day if not more.

honestly this is really damaging behaviour - have you thought about therapy?

silicone free shampoo and conditioner are good for not weighing down fine hair, and I use a baby lisa curler and dry shampoo to add volume

look on YouTube for nose contouring videos
but mostly I think you need to work on trying to focus on positive self image, it sounds as if there are lots of good aspects to your looks but you aren’t focussed on them.

AmethystMoonShine · 24/03/2023 22:29

I also have a nose that sounds like yours, I hated it for years and people were always commenting. It really got me down. I’m nearly 50 now though and do you know what, I just don’t care. It’s my nose, it does its job and I decided to love it. I too have loads of freckles, same with those.

Thinking about your hair, I’ve had success taking a supplement called Florisene. I took two a day for the first year, now usually just one. It has thickened up my hair beautifully. Might be worth a try?

TheLostNights · 24/03/2023 22:42

Thanks all. Am in London.
I know I should probably be nicer to myself, it's not my fault I have the face I do or body but just wish I could be at least halfway attractive .

OP posts:
OhGingleBells · 24/03/2023 22:43

I have thin hair but it’s much better when I

  1. Wash and blow dry it daily
  2. Rinse with apple cider vinegar
  3. Sleep with it in foam rollers or one of those bendy heartless curl rods

It’s not a great fix, but I always think my nose looks smaller the more voluminous my hair is. Big curls brushed out, bouncy blow dries and lots of hairspray.

Brush your lips with a toothbrush before applying lipstick to make them puff up a bit!

Normal bra with a kind of padded sports bra over the top to make you look a bit bigger.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 24/03/2023 22:50

You have a fairly small number of horrid comments that people in the past have made about you, but these span over a decade. It seems like you have taken them to heart and internalised them.

You need to reframe the way you feel about yourself and care much less about what other people say.

A good start would be to write down three things you like about your appearance, or your body e.g. "I have good skin, I am graceful, I am slim". Do some nice things for yourself too, a good mosituriser, some fab hair products, eyebrows so that you're taking small steps to make yourself feel loved and cared for.

RemoteControlDoobry · 24/03/2023 22:59

Op I have a large nose and have received comments over the years. However, I’m also told that I’m beautiful….that’s not boasting (I’m sure no one would say it if I didn’t wear makeup) but it’s just to point out that you can still be beautiful with a large nose. I do find that a large hair clip at the back of my head balances out my profile although I mostly can’t be bothered. I used to be so embarrassed and would blush if anyone even mentioned noses but I’m not bothered these days and feel quite proud of it. It’s the same nose as Tom Cruise!

Some highlights would stop your hair from being lank and should thicken it up a bit because it would roughen the cuticles.

I would use a bit of bronzer and make a feature of your freckles….in a sort of glowing, sun kissed way. I love pale skin and freckles.

SleekMamma · 25/03/2023 05:36

SPF 50 every single day will minimise the freckles. Garnier do a great range at the moment for around a tenner.

Different hairdresser.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 25/03/2023 07:47

I'd try a different hairdresser.
A make up lesson.
Personal shopper at John Lewis.

@TheLostNights , I used to tell myself I was ugly. Once DM also told me!!!Shock I'm really not, and I am sure you are not too, you just need to learn how to make the most of what you have. Easier said than done!

You're slim, you have straight hair and freckles! As a chunky , curly haired person, I'm envious! I have freckles, and I love them, but I come from a family of freckled people. When I was at school my friends used to sunbathe with a colander over their faces to get "freckles" (never worked).

TheLostNights · 25/03/2023 13:40

Thank you. I know you are being kind but I'm really not attractive in any sense of the word. Taking note of all the suggestions.

Really sorry that happened to you @IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads 😔

OP posts:
Girlattheback · 26/03/2023 23:10

I’m sorry you’re feeling so rubbish. I also have very fine thin hair that gets greasy quickly and after many many years of trying different styles and products I’m finally happy with my hair….

I grew out my long layers and now have a blunt cut shoulder length bob.
I have a few highlights through the top, it really helps with the texture.
I use head and shoulders normal shampoo, I don’t have dandruff, but it’s just a good shampoo and gets my hair clean but not stripped. I wash it daily and only use a tiny tiny pea size amount of shampoo, wash twice and rinse very thoroughly. I then use the same tiny pea size amount of Paul Mitchell The Conditioner, which is a leave in conditioner that stops my hair going all staticky.

I have my hair cut every six weeks and colour every 12 weeks. Having good hair that suits you makes a massive difference to your self esteem.

Reinventinganna · 26/03/2023 23:20

Agree with highlights for your hair, it’s definitely made mine appear thicker.

Reframe your thoughts. You are not ugly, you are quirky. Embrace it.
Nothing looks better than a woman who is comfortable in her own skin.