Want to buy clothes that I love...

[lovelyclothes]

...but end up buying stuff that will "just do". I spend a lot on clothes (not high end but upper high street) but nothing sparks joy. I keep buying, hoping that I'll love stuff but I never do, Where am I going wrong?!

Well you’re going to the High Street …. Where else have you looked? There is a whole world out there of independent designers, boutiques, online only, vintage and second hand retailers not to mention seamstresses and bespoke services. I’m also not madly inspired but I’ve bought a couple of bits off Vinted but more importantly I don’t actually need anything it’s just a want.

Why do you want to love clothes?

I am not attached to clothes, they have their use and if they look nice then great.

Maybe you're buying too much stuff that's mediocre?

Decide on your budget and don't buy anything at all unless it really grabs you.

I don't like most of the stuff in the high street as it's too plain and I can't afford to buy expensive stuff, so I buy nice fabric and make my own clothes or alter good quality items I buy second hand.

If you know your style and stick to a few colours, it's easy to build up a good wardrobe that works for all seasons.

It may be that you do not have a defined style yet. Try and read The Curated Wardrobe. Little goes a long way..

Sorry, The Curated Closet

This is the thread you need:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/4753001-can-we-talk-about-clothing-brands-and-target-demographics?reply=124868737

Have you had your shape and colours done? Since having my done, I find clothe shopping a lot easier and more rewarding, and have had far more compliments.

Also, buy clothes that suit your personality, not what you think you should be wearing. Ie. If you prefer a boho style, stick to this rather then trying to buy a more classic or French look.

lastly, ignore sizes on clothes. Different shops vary so much.

I feel the same as you, I love clothes and have so many but actually don't love much of what I own. I've even tried stitch fix and lookerio for months hoping they would help me find things I love, they didn't.
I'm now selling most of my wardrobe on Vinted and I'm only going to buy things I really love and make sure I buy things as a whole outfit.
I have worked out I only need casual, comfy clothes but still want to look put together. So when I've made enough money on Vinted I'm going to buy a few really nice things and try and wear them more. Good luck

I think you'll have to go up price range.

I had got thoroughly depressed on the high street, grotty fabrics, bad cut, generally unflattering clothes. There's no joy to be had there.

I took a deep breath, doubled my budget per item (but bought half as much). It was such a relief. 🙂

@MintJulia where did you buy from instead? X

Where are you going wrong? You buy things that you don't like all that much in the hope that you'll somehow grow to like them very much just because they're now in your wardrobe and you've already purchased them. Why would that work?

I'm on low buy 2023 and am finding it's really helping me to stop buying any old stuff. It's given me a new ability to walk away from things - as soon as I put them back or don't check out, I forget about them so they can't be that important.

I'd maybe stop buying for a while if you can and instead identify wardrobe gaps and then look for the best version of that item in your price bracket which might be higher if you don't buy as much.

The Curated Closet is a good suggestion if you have the patience to work through the exercises …. It takes some thought. I want a wardrobe that’s beautifully curated too but firstly my weight goes up and down making it tricky and I’m too accustomed to buying items as a sticking plaster for negative feelings about myself. I need to be more targeted about what I actually want to wear.

If you're buying too many different items from the high street you might have a wardrobe with too much going on, which makes it harder to make outfits.

Have you thought about making a mood board or inspiration board of what you like, then trimming it down to what suits your lifestyle?

If you did you could shop your existing wardrobe for a capsule to work with that makes you feel good. Any obvious gaps could be filled with nicer quality items.

@Baby1023 A local boutique. Celtic&Co for sweaters and a kilt this winter, Me+Em, one thing from Cezanne, a Margaret Howell skirt in a sale. Levi jeans.

I'm 5'8", so I look for brands where the sleeves are long enough.

Everything I bought in the autumn still looks like new so good for next year, but that means buying classic stuff.

I keep buying, hoping that I'll love stuff but I never do, Where am I going wrong?!

Well there, really. Don't buy clothes that look kind of OK hoping they will grow on you. They won't. Only buy things that you absolutely love - when you try them on, you should go Wow! Even if it's a plain t-shirt, it should be flattering and material that feels good.

I agree that it helps to buy (a lot) less. 18 months ago, I stopped buying clothes, had a wardrobe clearout and started doing Project 333.

It taught me what I reach for over and over again, so I know what will get worn and is worth investing in. Then if something wears out, I buy the best version I can, and it has to be perfect or it goes back.

I don't buy things for a particular occassion anymore, I've made sure there should be something in my wardrobe for anything likely to come up. Anything I do buy has to be versatile enough to wear frequently to different things, and I don't have separate work clothes now.

This approach wouldn't work so well if you're interested in following trends though.

Thank you some good advice for me here.

I do a mix of local boutiques, the odd charity shop item and high street but I am very particular and only a few shops make the grade.
You have to be prepared to spend to get quality but as pp's said you end up buying less so your budget shouldn't increase.
What are the things you always want to wear? Because that is probably your personal style. Don't try to copy a capsule wardrobe list from someone else, make your own. For example I don't own a single pair of trousers or a white shirt or a lbd. If something fits perfectly but isn't really you, you won't wear it. I focus more on really fabulous everyday basics because it's great to put nice things on every day.
I set high standards for what goes in my wardrobe a bit like I wouldn't allow junk and clutter or things I don't particularly like in my home. So why would I let it languish in my wardrobe?

I feel like this too. Does anyone have recommendations for websites that show looks and outfits?

I must be rubbish at the internet because I can't find any.

Are you at peace with your body and your shape/looks or your lifestyle? Maybe you are just buying things to make do, and leave buying things that you love for when you are in the right shape?

Do clothes need to spark joy? I say this as somebody very ‘into’ clothes and style generally.

I have lots of things that make me feel great but they don’t make me joyful - either upon buying or wearing. They just make me feel confident in myself/how I present myself.

I think the pandemic shifted focus for many people.
I certainly never intended to wear uncomfortable clothes or shoes again.
It also changed my enjoyment of going shopping which I used to enjoy as a day ot with my adult daughter.
Online shopping has it’s drawbacks but I find it helps me find a high quality version of something that I need or want rather than flitting around the High Street like a demented magpie.
I have over recent years made a huge effort to cull and refine my wardrobe to eliminate anything that doesn’t fit / flatter/ match my lifestyle. I’ve sold lots in order to fund better items and buy mainly “pre-loved”.
This is all quite time consuming and would not have been possible when I had a young family but would have saved me lots of money and been more environmentally friendly .
A question for anyone who has successfully managed to cut back to a capsule wardrobe -
has it impacted your laundry habits and do items become shabby and worn out more quickly?

Oh goodness yes, they need to spark joy.

The need to make me go "wow" when I see them; to make me stomp around at home, swishing about in them; to make me look forward to their first outing in public (which will be the day after I bought them- no "saving it for good" here)

Totally agree re “sparking joy”
And also not saving things for best.
I lost a close friend shortly before the pandemic which made me realise that every day that I’m alive and healthy is a great day.