Growing out my grey hair, feeling like a frump. What can I do to feel better about it?

[Squarescrisps]

I’ve been contemplating growing out my greys for a few years, but have gone for it and have a few inches regrowth. My hair probably only about 40% grey, so isn’t a giant block, but the grey is very frizzy (as opposed to my non greys) and the frizz is not a good look!

What can I do to overall feel better about how I look? I feel like such a frump!

I am a bit unfit at the moment (though not overweight) so that doesn’t help. And I never buy new clothes, but I am of the “buy less buy better” philosophy so my clothes are all great quality, I just don’t have terribly many of them.

What are some quick ways to feel less… frumpy?!

I use hair serum and a mask regularly, to keep the frizzy greys at bay.
I have my eyebrows threaded and have to wear a bit of make up, otherwise I look ill. Just BB cream, eyeliner, mascara, a dab of lipstick.
I normally wear my diamond studs, I started cleaning them regularly and they look shiny and new. But sometimes I like to change them, I’ve hot these huge hanging pearls, they really brighten up my face.

I wear white shirts under oversized jumpers, just wearing shirts makes me feel a bit more put together.
Clear nail polish.
Jeans or oversized chinos.
chunky silver bracelets.
Always polished shoes.

I can’t get back into wearing a handbag 🤷🏻‍♀️, I have a white company leather shopper.

HTH

Thank you! I like the idea of being a bit more put together in choosing my clothes etc. I think that might help a lot!

Have you found a hair mask that’s good? As well as the frizz, I have tiny baby grey hairs and they just stick up in the air!

If you have good quality clothes but you are feeling tired of your wardrobe then go through and see if there is anything you can give a new lease of life to by changing the buttons or belt, dyeing it, taking it up.

I have similar ratio of grey, it's important to use a good shampoo to keep your hair soft, I use Redken 'all soft' and follow with Frizz ease deep conditioner. A hairdresser recently commented on how soft my hair was compared to other greying clients. Blusher/bronzer and lippy is a must for me otherwise I look quite dowdy and drab! Clothing wise I am trying to experiment more with colours. Have a look on Instagram there are quite a few ladies who have taken the plunge and are rocking it! Good luck!

L'Oreal extraordinary oil is fantastic for smoothing fly aways and grey's. Apply a small amount after washing.

Think about the colours you are wearing. What suited my dyed hair (warmth/corals etc) looks funking awful with my grey. I now look better in bright turquoise/purples/pink.

Had to change lipstick colour as well.

Stick with it. Zero regrets at ditching they dye.

Lippy - bright pink works well, chunky jewellery, big bright earrings, scarf that's colourful. Co-ordinate with shoes/boots etc. If your clothing looks together so does hair.

Would you consider having the colour chopped out so you don't have to look at the two tone very time in the mirror? A pixie or very short French bob type of cut?

Definitely go bolder and brighter with accessories and lipstick.

Definitely! But I’m not quite there yet. It’s probably 3/4 inches out. I’m not sure I’m the type to suit a pixie cut (have always wished I was), but I love a bob.

Loving these suggesting - I never wear lipstick but I reckon that might help. Interesting to think about clothes colours differently now too!

My wardrobe is quite monotone! (Navy, black, or white. Not much colour!)

You need a youthful haircut! We tend to find a style that suits our faces around our 30s/40s. But our faces change, everything drops a bit and we lose texture. A perkier, more youthful cut totally counteracts the frump. Youthful cut + natural greys/white = not a youngster, not an oldie.

If your hair is frizzy you can probably make it much curlier - mine has gone really curly since I’ve gone grey (I started going grey in my 30s!) and I never ever imagined I’d have curly hair. I started to watch curly hair videos on you tube and experiment with different products and it looks much better and healthier. Hanzcurls on instagram and you tube is very good.

I also think a good hair cut makes a huge difference. Having it cut into an obvious style with face framing bits makes it look like you’re deliberately leaving your hair grey and you do care about it.

Oh I so want to go grey but never get past the two inches of grey stage. I should have done it in the pandemic.

For frizzy hair warm coconut or olive oil left on for a few hours helps.

I did the big chop thing (had a long thread here about 8 years ago) and went from the meh bob to a pixie with about 1/2 an inch of grey roots. I got the hairdresser to blend the demarkation line - just to add a few jagged edges, and then just kept it in a pixie until all the dye had gone. Then I grew it out.

Current pic also attached. (I need a bit of colour in this photo..some lipstick/not to have been at work or day, and in desparate need to a cut...but to give you an idea).

I knew I would not be able to brave growing out the dye otherwise.... I didn't particularly like the pixie...but it got me to being dye free. Been 8 years now and I am so unbelievable glad I did it.

I think there is (almost) a pixie that suits most people - especially if it is for a purpose. And if you have several inches of roots it is seriously worth considering.

OMG you so suit a pixie.

I wouldn't. I would look like Eddie Izzard.

ChopOrNot
You look fabulous!

Cut it very short. I love my pixie.

@ChopOrNot The middle pic on the bottom row looks like a really cute cut.

I love you curls so much. I'm greying and curly and your hair is what I aspire to! What's your routine?

I had this in 2019 and had dyed red hair so I basically shaved the lot off. Everyone complemented me on my changed look but I didn't change anything else. I still have it short, as in No 5 with No 6 on top. I end up with a small quiff. I love it.

I used to try to follow the the curly girl method religiously - but it only worked to a degree...my hair ended up a bit dull, flat and heavy. As my hair is really fine..it needs shampoo at least once a week. Other washes I co-wash. But apart from that my adaped CGM means I can go 3-4 days without fully wetting/washing - whereas I used to have to wash every day.

So, I use Faith in Nature Rose shampoo once a week, and Rose conditioner to condition. Or for the mid week wash use Faith in Nature dragon fruit to co-wash then Rose to condition. Then after both the routine is the same - the rose one (about 10p size) as a leave in. Then UG Curl Jelly. I "ribbon brush" it when really wet, squish some mousse through and then use a microfibre towel to press out some of the moisture - then either air dry or diffuse. See here for a 2 min video on ribbon brushing www.tiktok.com/@manesbymell/video/7054997744624078085?lang=en

I have a silk pillow case and pineapple at night. Then "praying hands" some rose conditioner/water mix through in the mornings to calm any frizzies...occassionally need to finger coil the odd bit to reform the curl.

Sounds a bit faffy...and it is not a simple wash and go...but not having to wash everyday means I can deal with it.

I had never heard of pineapple but I've just gone down a rabbit hole of ideas. Thank you!

The whole curly girl thing doesn’t work for me. It just makes my hair feel greasy and having gone from always having quite straight hair I can’t get used to not washing / brushing it everyday. So I sort of do a hybrid version where I still wash it everyday (good quality shampoo and conditioner combed through) and then I brush it and put frizz ease curl crème through it and then use a wide toothed comb to get it into curl clumps and then scrunch any old curl type gel into it. Then I diffuse it and then scrunch out the crunch of the gel. Works really well for me.

Wow you look fabulous! In all styles - the pixie and long! Your colour is beautiful too!