Only you can stop S&B trolls! Seriously, please try to ignore them and they’ll disappear

[MarieRoseMarie]

The style and beauty board is one of the best resources @mumsnet has. They don’t seem to realise it though because they allow endless AIBU derailing and trolling any time anyone asks about high end or luxury fashion.

Some boring troll immediately arrives and starts insisting that fashion is stupid or that high prices are disgusting. This then provokes 50 defensive reponses from “helpful” posters and the entire thread becomes a bunfight. We can’t make @mumsnet delete these posts but we can just ignore them.

Its so hard to ignore someone who is wrong on the internet but these people thrive on attention and it’s easier often to get negative attention than positive. Seriously, these trolls are desperate and want attention (any attention) and the worst thing you can do is just not give it to them by IGNORING THEM. The more attention they can get, the more they post. Try to reply to the main topic and not let them derail you into bunfights.

I mostly lurk here so maybe this post is overstepping but it feels like the trolling has ramped up recently and maybe calling out the problem will help @mumsnet be aware of it and other posters recognise and tackle it.

What do people think? Am I the only one annoyed by this?

I'm sure mumsnet are aware but what can they do except moderate for it?
Someone said on another thread that an ignore user button would be a good idea.

I'm very annoyed by it too. And also wish MN would intervene to stop people derailing threads simply to be obstructive. It ruins entire threads

And I really wish posters would just stop inserting themselves into threads where they have nothing to contribute other than judgement.

ifa thread title is 'do you think I should spend £££ on a bag? ' then yes you are welcome to add your judgement.

If a theeas title is 'where can I find a £££ bag?' Then no your jjudgement is not asked for, only recommendations.

It's pretty basic comprehension & so many seem to lack it..

MN needs to sort it out

Totally agree.

I agree. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

I think we all have strong opinions on fashion, style, grooming, etc. but it’s clear now some people are coming on purely to criticise the entire concept of the board.

I am sure MNHQ would out a stop to it if someone continually went into infertility threads and posted along the lines of ‘who gives a toss, babies are disgusting and you’re stupid for wanting one’. This is in principle no different.

Maybe have this moved to site stuff? On any other forum if a poster is purposefully (and sometimes unintentionally) derailing a thread that's considered trolling and they get removed. I know MNHQ prefers robust discussions over deletions but there really isn't a robust discussion to be had with disruptors.

I find these people ridiculously pathetic more than anything. I'm into skincare and perfume. Not so much hair (cut my own) so guess what? I don't post about hair

I always think the people who post about things they have no interest in must be so dense, they actually think they're obliged to open and comment on each thread.
The ones that do irk are the product placement ones.
"Anybody bought from. <insert random new brand only available online> Immediately you get 35 posters who'd never dream of wearing any other brand.
Chinny reckon.

I knew this would be about that overpriced bag.

<Runs>

@MarieRoseMarie I understand where you're coming from.
The problem with leaving their post standing without challenge is that other women might read it and think it's right. By pointing out that women can spend their money on whatever they want and then going on to answer the question , hopefully we can reassure readers that they really don't need to consider the pointless finger wagging.

Amen!

YABU

I agree OP. I love this board and find it a hive of information. I often share my own experiences in it too, to hopefully help others.

what really annoys me is when an OP poses a question like “what is currently stylish to wear to work in marketing in London for a 45 year old woman “ - this is a made up example - and the second post is someone saying ‘ wear what you like / I don’t care what anyone thinks about what I wear ‘ etc etc ad Infinitum. Really, if I am bothered enough by this question in my own life to post here, then I would like people to reply with their own experiences of seeing women in their 40’s who look good going to work - and tell me what they are wearing.

There - rant over.

Most aren't trolls I bet, they are people like me 🙈
Well I want to humbly apologise to style and beauty people who post about clothes and fashion. I have sometimes replied "why do you care, wear what you want!" Not to be nasty, but sometimes don't understand why people want to have the same look.. I feel like there's so many clones in the city where I work and no individuality, can't tell them apart. But if that's how people want to look then there should be no criticism.
I do a full face of makeup everyday, long nails, eyelashes, whiten my teeth and some posters were being nasty about those choices on another thread and it just felt like insecurity on their part, there's no need to say it.
So I'm sorry ♥️ You should be able to post without pointless replies like I've given in the past.

You’re not going to stop free speech so just ignore, unfortunately it’s hard not to rise to it.

It is annoying though @QueefQueen80s . Sorry, I appreciate you’ve apologised but I had this ages ago. Asked advice on what to wear for a night out. First reply ‘whatever you damn well like.’ It really pissed me off!

And then you get the ones with their own agenda - like I asked for help with maternity clothes and had the same poster wanging on endlessly about some YouTube channel when I just wanted some decent fucking maternity clothes!

I know, I can see why it's very annoying! It came from a good place, I'm sensitive to women being controlled and not expressing themselves individually but I see fashion is an expression.
Same with the beauty stuff I do, I do it for me, not men, not other women.. I love the look, it makes me happy, end of.

Absolutely agree. And agree with the replies its lazy moderating on mumsnet's part, or more clicks equals more money so it benefits them to allow controversy. It should not be allowed to take a thread off topic. Too many posters feel the need to comment on everything when it doesn't apply to them. I can't afford luxury right now but I love to look and dream!

The bitter twisted and jealous trolls just love to make themselves feel better by sucking the joy from things others enjoy. As you say they thrive off the reaction they get so best just to leave them to it.

I opened the thread about the bag, thought 'eh how the other half live,' acknowledged I had nothing useful to contribute and that was that. I don't know if expressing an opinion, even an inflammatory one, is 'trolling' though.

@QueefQueen80s I admire you for coming on & apologising. But I don't actually get your association's that by someone posting 'what should I buy to wear to x y or z' they're wanting to be identikit & have no self expression & are being controlled?
And in the same post you say you wear full make up & long nails etc so are yourself conforming to an imposed notion of femininity..it's a bit mixed up.

I love reading all the recommendations for clothes because I love clothes & I regularly come across brands that are not familiar to me. I suspect loads of others are the same.

I might buy something from a brand that's been recommended on here but it goes into the general mix of my existing wardrobe & it's highly unlikely that I'll be dressed identically to the woman on the street next to me..

I think a lot of trolls used to be like Brunilde that but the current wave is just riding high on shaming others. I take your point DameCelia about not letting things go unchallenged but when it completely details a thread it just kills the thread and shafts the OP.

My formatting went really wonky, not suggesting you're a troll Brunilde, your name was inserted after that when I posted

Bolding OP was my fault, didn't refer to this OP it's just habit to bold that <sigh>

That's why I've said sorry, I see the hypocrisy in it 🙈
I get that you can follow fashion and then put your own personality on it.
I think the bits I find hard are eg when someone stops wearing skinny jeans because they're not in fashion but they LOVE wearing them, suit their body type, make them feel good. But they need an alternative because they aren't in fashion.

I would just ignore trolls. But…. It’s not necessarily trolling if people disagree. Saying ‘wear what makes you feel good’ can come from a good place, as can exhortations to consider the environment in our buying choices and step away from a throwaway culture.

Yes I definitely relate to this:

I think the bits I find hard are eg when someone stops wearing skinny jeans because they're not in fashion but they LOVE wearing them, suit their body type, make them feel good. But they need an alternative because they aren't in fashion.

I can’t help but think of thousands of tonnes of waste denim in landfill just because someone somewhere has declared a particular fashion is not on trend. All that cotton grown and now wasted, all that water used to grow the cotton wasted.

You wonder whether the people who post about "ItS ObScEnE!!!!! to spend more than £20 on a bag etc" run up to people driving new cars or wearing a North Face jacket to tell them that they should have a clapped-out Fiesta or Primark jacket instead. Tap people on the shoulder in Tesco to tell them to buy value range tomatoes as they are wasting their money on branded ones. Etc....

I agree with this. Also, if someone posts: 'What do you think of this £300 bag?' saying that it's overpriced or not environmentally friendly is a valid opinion in the same way 'I'd prefer it in a different colour' is.