Only you can stop S&B trolls! Seriously, please try to ignore them and they’ll disappear

[MarieRoseMarie]

The style and beauty board is one of the best resources @mumsnet has. They don’t seem to realise it though because they allow endless AIBU derailing and trolling any time anyone asks about high end or luxury fashion.

Some boring troll immediately arrives and starts insisting that fashion is stupid or that high prices are disgusting. This then provokes 50 defensive reponses from “helpful” posters and the entire thread becomes a bunfight. We can’t make @mumsnet delete these posts but we can just ignore them.

Its so hard to ignore someone who is wrong on the internet but these people thrive on attention and it’s easier often to get negative attention than positive. Seriously, these trolls are desperate and want attention (any attention) and the worst thing you can do is just not give it to them by IGNORING THEM. The more attention they can get, the more they post. Try to reply to the main topic and not let them derail you into bunfights.

I mostly lurk here so maybe this post is overstepping but it feels like the trolling has ramped up recently and maybe calling out the problem will help @mumsnet be aware of it and other posters recognise and tackle it.

What do people think? Am I the only one annoyed by this?

I like a good discussion and, if I'm in the mood, I'm not averse to a fighty thread.

But there's a world of difference between an op that says, 'Should I buy some new jeans?' and 'I'm buying new jeans, this is my budget, what do people suggest?'

There are plenty of threads for those of us who like to pontificate so why be a nob about it?

I'm instinctively averse to asking for heavier moderation though. Withdrawing our attention can be bloody hard but it can be much more effective than any quip, however smart and witty we think it might be - and I'm as guilty of that as anyone.

I'd also like HQ to delete the dreadful ageist comments on S&B. "nursing home" shoes being a particular disgusting comment today.

I don't think they are trolls exactly but they are on every mumsnet board. Self righteous, hiding behind free speech. Basically just want to have a go and parrot the mumsnet creed and wait for a few people to agree with them. It's the worst thing about mumsnet. I'm amazed S and B isn't overrun with people claiming to be fashion lecturers to try and prove they know what they are talking about.

Although it masquerades as being about "wasting" money or caring about something frivolous in serious times, I wonder if it's actually a kind of intellectual snobbery. They've internalised the arguments of the 19th century that education/ bicycles/ trousers/ the vote will make women ugly, unfeminine, flat chested and sterile (all things said at the time), and therefore think that serious- minded, independent, thinking women shouldn't care about style and beauty because it means they are less serious-minded. It's disapproval that shines through but it must have a deeper meaning!

OMG yes - people who post just to judge 🙄
If you’re not interested in the topic or have no advice to give, is it so difficult to just leave it alone
And I hate those horrible agist comments too - why not just say you wouldn’t personally wear e.g. those shoes and suggest an alternative. But in general, I think if you wouldn’t say something to a real life friend then you shouldn’t say it on an anonymous forum.

*ageist

Agree that I really dislike the knee jerk snarky replies - and agree that the subtext of many of them is that to be taken seriously women should be spending not on 'fripperies' like bags or clothes but on - well, what? Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica?

Or that to have any money 'spare' during a cost of living crisis when people are struggling to pay for basic bills, or when so many are homeless in Turkey and Syria after the earthquakes, or when Ukraine is being bombarded, is somehow immoral. Well - count me out of the joyless race to the bottom. I am better off than many and worse off than many. I buy most of my stuff on eBay and in charity shops. One of the best bits about S&B is finding out about new labels and adding them to my Vinted/Depop/eBay search terms and coming across bargains so I end up with a similar style camera bag not for £800 but for £28. Each to their own.

This!

Oh and it’s pretty darn offensive to compare grumbling on S&B to doing the same on the infertility board - one is a nice hobby and creative self-expression - the other is full of grieving, traumatised, depressed and frustrated people coping with a traumatising and potentially life-ruining/changing situation. Not the same AT ALL.

Maybe MN needs a S & B topic for people who are on a limited budget. MN S & B is mostly high end stuff and out of reach for the majority of people who post on MN.

I don't have a high end budget - although I'm not on the bread line either - but I still enjoy a high end thread and get some of my ideas that way.

I honestly don't think most of the posters we're talking about are trolls so I'm going to appeal here to their better nature and also share what works for me:
a) Read the op properly.
b) Weigh up whether the op is seeking suggestions or pontification.
c) If you realise you've misjudged your tone, withdraw as quickly and gracefully as you can.

Perhaps some of the posters claiming they spend 3k on a handbag are also 'trolls'

Roman Originals is hardly high end 🙄

It looks like most people agree so I really hope @mumsnet weigh in if they are willing to do something about this. This entire board is completely underrated by mumsnet. I am just hitting 40 and willing to spend money!!! I am just struggling with what to buy. I want to buy a forever wardrobe but it’s hard. I get a lot from this board and I take the recommendations really seriously. It’s not about getting hits, it’s about the quality of the community that comments here.

Shame you can't buy class innit.

@MarieRoseMarie I agree with you. I'm in my early 50s in a senior professional role & I have disposable income & also a need to dress in a particular way .
I value bring able to come on here & discuss where to buy decent clothes with like minded people. I hate all the judging that people bring to this. It's boring.

So you only want people with loads of money to be allowed to post on S & B? Perhaps MNHQ could ask for bank statements so the riff raff can't post.

There's now a waning message from MN on the bag post. Looks like they've been reading your OP!

@LucyLeave you're being pretty silly. Noone's asking for that. And you know that.

Thus isn't helpful.

@LucyLeave 😂 geez

I love the threads about high-end handbags! There are so many suggestions for beautiful well-made bags. And, yes, a lot of them are out of my price range. But I can dream.

That said, I stay out of the clothing threads because I little to no interest in clothes. There's nothing to be gained by my posting comments about what other people should and shouldn't wear.

Maybe it comes down to common sense...

Feel free to start a thread about Primark!

No one is preventing you from doing so unless your posts can only be unpleasant, sneering and doing so about lower-end clothing ranges doesn't tick that box.

Lmao, the point is that people come here for advice and some people go out of their way to post links to hideous clothes from cheap places as if they're trying to prove a point.

Yes you don't need to spend loads to look good amd equally you don't need to spend little on looking awful.

Can you imagine the horror on here if I started a thread about Primark 😂

Christ, there's loads of people on SB who buy and wear clothes from charity shops, Vinted, Primark and Shein.

It's not an either/or thing. You can go out in a Primark top paired with 2nd hand Alexander McQueen.