Approaching 60 - and lost my way, trying to find it again for this new phase

[JFDIYOLO]

I'm staring at my looming 60th birthday, had quite a vile menopause (out of of it now tho).

Going very grey, am the heaviest I've ever been at 14 stone 10 lbs, at 5'8" (still only think in imperial!)

My colours were done in my 20s and i was labelled warm autumn and tho I still really like a lot of the colours in my folder, I'd like to do it again.

It's ... difficult. But I've made some decisions about what I'm going to do as part of my 60th:

Have a bra fitting and buy some gorgeous new ones

Find my fragrance

Keep up with hair colouring as I don't like the way it's going grey

Do default French manicure and handcream and declutter the dafter colours and gloopy glitter polish

Use sunscreen

Walk more

Rethink the wardrobe.

I haven't done heels in a long time and pretty much content with ballet flats, black trainers, brown Saxon/Game of Thronesy boots, flat metallic sandals depending on season.

Tights are black opaque (veins ...), none in summer.

So skirts usually ankle length in summer, shorter other times.

Tops usually fitted, skirts usually A-line - I have at least got a waist and no matter my size, I still have the remains of an hourglass shape.

Financial constraints meant I had very few new clothes for a long time so am hesitant and uncertain where to start. With spring round the corner and I don't thrive in hot weather ...

Where on earth do I start?!!

Yes the bra fitting! I'm now eyeing the Rosie M&S black silk and French lace one

I've enjoyed reading through your thread @JFDIYOLO . Did you manage to start any exercise

?

Well exercise so far as mega gardening, which I feel counts! Also walking more and doing the ballet legs thing while cleaning teeth 😆

Making effort with makeup each morning - tinted moisturiser, mascara, natural toned lipstick as a standard go to, takes two minutes and I like it.

I have noticed that I am officially invisible.

There was a time in my life when I turned heads. On one occasion literally stopped traffic …

I would like to experience that again.

(This is my thread so I can say that.)

I know what you mean about feeling visible. I decided it was an opportunity to experiment more with my clothes as I figured that no-one was looking at me so I might as well have some fun and make some mistakes. And I have!

What's weird - and you might not find this helpful - is that lately, at the age of 66, I've noticed young men have started complimenting me on what I'm wearing. There's nothing remotely sexual or even flirtatious about it - the last time it happened my husband was with me. It's like their talking to a favourite aunt or their granny, or maybe they're practising chatting up women on me! It's strange but I also find it very sweet, although I imagine if I were looking for a partner it might be less so.

@JFDIYOLO & @Floisme

I see the 'invisible' thing spoken about a lot.

Does it mean 'invisible to straight men?'

Or invisible to the world?

I've always been a man-repellant, I am always very visible to women though.

I've always felt seen. I am always seen.

I'm not super-special, maybe it's a desire to be seen.

I never stopped traffic.

It's easy to turn heads. You just have to own your space. Don't apologise for yourself. People love that shit!

The world, Rhadamanth, the world (apart from some young men recently - see above) If anything, it's young women who are the worst offenders. It kicked in around my late 50s.

I chose to use it in a positive way, as a spur to be more adventurous but it's still a very strange feeling. I try and speak up when I see other women talking about it because I know that unless / until it happens to you - and it doesn't happen to everyone - then it can be hard to grasp. I still remember one charming poster asking me if I'd 'let myself go' but I can say with confidence that isn't the case!

Checking in again. I have had a bit of an epiphany that when you’re pushing 60 cheap clothes look crap. I have always sung the praises of Asda and Primark, but I was just examining a skirt in Matalan and just threw it back on the rail.

I don’t necessarily want grown-up things (who am I kidding?!) but the “Oh, I can throw on anything” days are over.

I splashed out on some NotYourDaughtersJeans and by jove they fitted well and even gave me (the illusion of) a flat stomach.

I still remember a woman I saw in a cafe about two years ago who was dressed in really lovely quirky clothes in interesting colours. She wore funky shoes in a mustard yellow that coordinated with something else she wore. I searched in vain for those shoes for ages! She was in her sixties I think. She looked fabulous.

@Floisme I had two young women admire my outfit today.

I am wearing a very, very simple MaxMara wide-Legged trousers and a MaxMara silk knit jumper.

All navy. Navy birkenstocks.

Navy nails.

Toes and fingers.

White hair.

And big Gucci glasses.

It's quality, isn't it. The thing teens and younger people might not be attracted to because it's not NOW. Or might just not be able to afford.

And simplicity.

And a sense of good taste that comes with time and experience.

The two young women were probably clocking all that and taking notes.

Currently rummaging for my navy polish...

Great thread. If anyone can advise where to get comfy, cotton knickers that absolutely do not create a VPL, I would be much obliged.

Sloggis are apparently good for that

Yes! Maybe @JFDIYOLO, and the fact I get my clothes tailored to fit, I take all my trousers to my seamstress and the shoes I'll wear with them, so we get the length perfect.

And, I iron my bloody clothes and don't wear stretch to fit fabrics, and if you're unsure with size, always size up, fuck the label. So your clothes hang from your body rather than exploding from them. Research and observation tells me that the vast majority of people wear clothes that are too small, size up! Really. It's not about the smallest size you can get into, it's about the size that fits comfortably. If your clothes fit, it just looks so much better.

(But do get them altered where necessary).

Oh, and knickers @Tudorfish, highly recommend Commando. Microfiber with a large cotton gusset, really invisible under clothes, they just skim. Nothing cuts in. Available in all colours. I wear black and flesh (flesh is in all tones), brilliant.