Approaching 60 - and lost my way, trying to find it again for this new phase

[JFDIYOLO]

I'm staring at my looming 60th birthday, had quite a vile menopause (out of of it now tho).

Going very grey, am the heaviest I've ever been at 14 stone 10 lbs, at 5'8" (still only think in imperial!)

My colours were done in my 20s and i was labelled warm autumn and tho I still really like a lot of the colours in my folder, I'd like to do it again.

It's ... difficult. But I've made some decisions about what I'm going to do as part of my 60th:

Have a bra fitting and buy some gorgeous new ones

Find my fragrance

Keep up with hair colouring as I don't like the way it's going grey

Do default French manicure and handcream and declutter the dafter colours and gloopy glitter polish

Use sunscreen

Walk more

Rethink the wardrobe.

I haven't done heels in a long time and pretty much content with ballet flats, black trainers, brown Saxon/Game of Thronesy boots, flat metallic sandals depending on season.

Tights are black opaque (veins ...), none in summer.

So skirts usually ankle length in summer, shorter other times.

Tops usually fitted, skirts usually A-line - I have at least got a waist and no matter my size, I still have the remains of an hourglass shape.

Financial constraints meant I had very few new clothes for a long time so am hesitant and uncertain where to start. With spring round the corner and I don't thrive in hot weather ...

Where on earth do I start?!!

I went for a style consultation a few years ago as I had got stuck in a rut of boring jeans and jumpers. The most helpful advice she gave me was to think back to outfits I’d love pre-rut, pre-children, when I could wear whatever I liked. What had I loved to wear? And then use that to guide myself. Obviously not exactly the same outfits (my days of wearing a see-through t shirt over a wonder bra and not much else v much in the past 😂) but identifying the themes and finding new ways to do them for 40s, 50s, 60s, rather than thinking now I am x age I must wear clothes for x year olds.

@RhadamanthNemes Thank you. You're right, when I read again I realise that I'm probably doomed to fail as I'm trying to do too many things at once. Small steps is probably better. I'm going to dig out a notebook now and do what you suggest.

For today I'm going to do 15 mins of gentle yoga and use a face mask. And discard one item from my wardrobe.

@Renoir56 I think yiu may be me. I have a very similar list.

I’m approaching 60 in the next few months, I know I need more exercise. I do yoga with Adrienne most days (there’s a lovely ongoing thread in the Yoga topic if anyone fancies joining us) and I walk the dogs. I’m going to get back in the swimming pool too.

I know it’s not for everyone but I’ve embraced the grey and gone for a short crop. I love it.

I’ve cut out alcohol almost completely and will be cutting back on the carbs too. I’m taking vit D, vit B, turmeric and glucosamine and magnesium (gives me the most bizarre dreams though).

My nails are a mess so I keep them short with clear varnish.

In the winter I live in jeans and wool sweaters, Seasalt dresses and opaques.

OP I am the same, looking 60 in the whites of its eyes.

I am fortunate to have some spare cash and am revamping my wardrobe. I am still floundering!

I am going off jeans, so have started buying trousers instead, that can be dressed up or down. Like these

www.hush-uk.com/leonie-elastic-back-trousers-black/006065-0456.html

Funny that a pp mentioned Westwood as I am thinking about investing in some tops. Like this

www.flannels.com/vivienne-westwood-hebo-top-649861?cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=17598250224&cq_term=&cq_plac=&cq_net=g&cq_plt=gp&gclid=Cj0KCQiAo-yfBhD_ARIsANr56g4NYU4vbuox0NVcA_rM3YXpY9rVGIjz_qTy6p2UcAtboH2YmeiOQfIaAh5wEALw_wcB#colcode=64986140

Sezane is good too.

I can't dye my hair these days (and don't want to tbh), so am living with the grey. It is very curly, so I tell myself it is bo-ho.

I am finding turning 60 a bit traumatic!

Agree re exercise and am going to the gym this afternoon.

AmandaClare that is interesting. Something to ponder.

I am not particularly stylish so not sure how to help there 😂 but I have a tip regarding finding the exercise that works for you. …

Explore YouTube for exercise videos from the comfort of your living space. In the first lockdown, I did exactly this because I was bored. I tried tai chi, Zumba, various styles of yoga, Pilates, hip hop fitness, street dance, flamenco, bollywood,… there were probably others. I then found a live class for the two that I enjoyed the most and go regularly. I also volunteer for a charity in a role that involves being physically active. It’s always worth thinking laterally.

My best advice is to lose weight and keep it under control if at all possible. You will be doing your joints a massive favour, believe me. Also do some yoga or stretches. It helps.

In a similar position, and hit 60 during lockdown. I'm working on the weight, and it's coming off slowly, though I have been faffing about with it lately, and plateaud (sp) I started yoga again, after a brain damage diagnosis, and lack of balance is one of the symptoms. I enjoy yoga, and it is helping the balance, and it also stops me killing people, so that's a bonus I'm due to start Tai Chi on a new intake about Easter, and in theory try and walk more. I have a season ticket to a local gardens/lake, which is about an hours walk round, with the lake in view, so not too much of a hardship. I find the difficult bit is motivating myself to get there. Once I'm doing it, I enjoy it.

I don't worry too much about fashion. I have evolved a sort of signature look, which might be vaguely related to the Female Monty Don look! I like mens tweed jackets, from charity shops, but not too oversized as I feel it makes me look bigger. I think you have to be pretty slim to get away with very oversized. I have a few vintage brooches I wear with them, and also a Vivien Westwood brooch which is much more valuable than the tweedy charity shop jacket I wear it with! People have recognised that the brooch is my thing, and I was very touched when I was bought one when I finished as a Charity Trustee a couple of years ago. I agree with PP about the jeans, and like soft trousers. I particularly like Lands End starfish trousers.

I refuse to let my hair go grey, and also have kept it shoulder length. It's curly, and so when wet is actually quite a bit longer than that. If I was greying/white fabulously I would rock it, but mine is still at the salt/pepper/vaguely green stage, which is not a look I would want to inflict on the rest of the world.

I do eat better as I am older, and am trying to do the 30 plant foods a week thing.

Watching this thread with interest.

I love a Miss Marple brooch on a men's jacket SpongeBob

Thankyou for all your suggestions and links! Lots to check up and follow on Insta. I'd blinkered myself and not even allowed myself to look about me when there was no money. Eyes opening to what there is.

Today I overslept cos of scrolling about on Mumsnet til late! So didn't get to colour hair - but did make the effort to do the rest and got three very nice selfies that I will be using online 👏.

Ditched some gloopy glitter polish, kept the French mani, classic colours and some subtle irridescents. Very nice handcream that I hadn't started yet - I've started.

Ditched the cheap sparkly eyeshadow pallette and made an effort with applying my lovely soft Max Factor one. Nice!

I'm ordering the perfume samples and if time will nip to m&s and book the bra fitting tomorrow.

And I will walk straight past the bus stop to and from walk - 25 mins walk each way to work is a good way to get moving especially as it's no longer dark when I finish in the evening.

I will ask myself 'really?' when on autopilot I go to order an almond croissant with my coffee.

I've set out what I will wear tomorrow rather than the usual compromise 'whatever, chuck it on'.

Little by little.

the salt/pepper/vaguely green stage,

It does take a while to arrive at an acceptable shade, @SpongeBobJudgeyPants ! I almost cried with the nasty yellowness of my gradually uncoloured hair over lockdown, but it’s calmed down now. And I’m beginning to take the grey into account when I shop for clothes.

Had to laugh (in delight) at this photo from the New York Times of someone seen during London Fashion Week - as I also have a shaggy grey and white sweater which, with a similarly coloured tweed skirt, looks really excellent with my new head.

Walking to and from work was great for me too op. I really dislike 'taking exercise' so I'm all for anything that incorporates it into your everyday life. Unfortunately I'm retired now - well it's not really unfortunate, it's bloody great, but it means I have to try a bit harder. But just little things like going upstairs twice when you only need to do it once, they all add up.

I’m in a similar age bracket to you, at the wrong end! Some good suggestions here. I’ll add get a good leather jacket, they go with everything and last years looking better with age.
Go for natural fabrics wherever possible, cotton, linen. Silk, wool, cashmere, avoid polyester tunics and t shirts and think carefully about clothes with patterns.
id second getting a good hair cut and maintaining it every 6 weeks.
Look for brands you like and buy in their sales. Mint Velvet is my go to sales shop.

I walk a lot, always have loved to walk, but have learnt it is also important to move other parts of the body so that one is able - for instance - to lift one's arms enough to be able to dress oneself in later age.

Hanging laundry on a line is very useful exercise. I find stretching and weightbearing stuff like very simple yoga or similar ballet-yoga-tai-chi moves in the video linked above good for moving parts not handled by walking.

I need to find my way too so I'm going to read all the advice!

I agree with @milkyaqua - stretching and weight bearing exercises are vital as we age. I would add balancing and developing a strong core to the list.

@JFDIYOLO - can you do the following every day for a month or so and see if you'll notice a difference. It's only 3 minutes!

If you want to take this further, try the following (free on YouTube):

Leg workouts by Lucy Wyndham Reed; her Thighs & Glutes is what you want to aim for, but you'll probably want to try her easier workouts first.

Rebecca Louise's Best Abs and Caroline Girvan's Braced Abs & Core. The importance of a strong core cannot be exaggerated!

Rebecca Louise's Ageless Arms, Best Arms and Bingo Wings. All you need is a pair of dumbbells - start with 2-5 kg depending on current fitness. If you keep at it you'll eventually graduate to Caroline Girvan and using 8 kg dumbbells...

I remember, some years ago, I found an absolutely gorgeous white broderie anglaise summer dress in a charity shop. It fitted perfectly and I so wanted to wear it. But my bingo wings were just awful, so I sadly put it back on the rail. I'm several years older now, but I could absolutely wear that dress. And it's all due to working out with dumbbells most days.

That is a really helpful post @FlowerArranger , thank you!

Always happy to help 😊

Try this for stretching:

The Pigeon (last exercise on the video) is an extremely useful stretching exercise (as is the pilates roll), and you can do it while watching TV!

Thankyou @FlowerArranger !

Let several items go today - two pairs of tatty sandals, a couple of unflatteringly over sized and elderly t shirts and a too-bulky woolly scarf. I tend to keep shoes far too long as at size 42 wide fit it can be hard to find any. And the scarf tho cosy both immobilises my short neck and makes my shoulders and jaw look huge. It's very big and thin scarves from now on (Trinny says so ...)

I have started an I Need chart in my very pretty notebook. Different sections for underwear, tops, skirts, knitwear, shoes etc.

I want flat elegant sandals I can walk in, in silver, gold or brown leather. And which cover the tops of my feet which have discoloration, tho my toes are actually quite nice - comes from not wearing heels or pointy shoes!

Facebook is now showing me shedloads of ads for perfume sample sets, which is very helpful of it. I have a White Company room spray in lemony Verveine which I ceremonially spray round after making the bed, like some potty Insta influencer.

And this evening I did a packed lunch for tomorrow with cheese, salad and strawberries. I'll be trying to avoid the meal deals and my tendency to throw crisps and chocolate in on a whim.

Have a look at Hotter sale section. Some of their stuff is ver frumpy, but there are little gems. The flat, quite thick soled sandals are very comfortable. Well made and last ages.

Just had a look at their web site, not many styles at the moment, they will add as spring comes. 20% off for new orders.
another good company is Moshalu. Lots of lovely colours.

I find this loss of self so evident in the clients I work with. The menopause and effects it has on our shape and self esteem is such a blow to our identity and feeling our best.

You sound like you know who you want to be and that's half the battle.

Sometimes its not about buying more clothes but knowing who you want to be in this phase of your life and expressing it. There's probably some gems in there.
I'd happily give you a free session (no hard sell - a genuine offer) if you want to DM me. You've been brave enough to express your need and that deserves some attention. 😍

I'm late 50s and although I am not at my heaviest and if I eat properly the weight falls off. Unfortunately I binge eat.

hitting 60 doesn't worry Me at all. I love the boho style and I think it suits me more as I get older. Saying that I'm wearing black joggers and a n embellished top as I'm travelling later.

look at Joe Brown a they have a great selector of boho stuff.

Today, I walked to work and back, stairs not lift, bentobox of salad and fruit for lunch, bag of stuff to charity, booked the bra fitting for tomorrow and ordered the perfume sampler set. OK there was an almond croissant with my coffee - reckon I deserve it.