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Original poster

Please help me figure out what to wear to DD's school interview

48 replies

Oomp · 19/02/2023 08:37

DD 13 has applied to a ballet school and has got a final interview next week. I have to accompany her to the interview and I am panicking about what to wear!

It is described as in informal chat so I don't want to dress formally but I live in jeans and trainers so don't really have anything in between casual and formal.

We also have to walk 20mins from the train station so it needs to be fairly comfortable to walk in.

I really want to get this right (and maybe look a bit slimmer as I don't want DD judged on her slightly soft around the edges mother!) but I have no idea where to start. Please help!

I am 5ft 8, fairly slim and athletic but with a big bum and squidgy tummy. Small boobs so v necks or low necks look bad on me. Slim arms. I love navy blue as am blonde and it suits me. Prefer plain colours to patterns. I guess I'm looking for smart casual understated elegance.

OP posts:
AngelinaFibres · 19/02/2023 09:32

Presumably they will be interviewing your daughter with you attending merely as a chaperone. They will be offering/ not offering her a place based on her ballet talent and whether they think she would cope with the academic aspects as well as the dance part.What you wear and the size you are is surely totally irrelevant. If they are judging your daughter based on you then it's not a place I would want anything to do with.

Original poster
Oomp · 19/02/2023 10:05

What horrible people to suggest that my DD is going to be in residential care for an eating disorder because her slightly frumpy mother is feeling intimidated by an interview and wants to look and feel their best. We are going into this after much thought and consideration knowing the industry actually very well myself. Sadly there are still some toxic attitudes to weight but I would not put my DD into a school with those attitudes. The issues is mine and mine alone. My DD is desperate to get into this school and I want to feel confident and look my best.

How patronising and judgemental to suggest that I need to check my values. You know nothing about me. I do not need to defend myself or my DD. I was looking for fashion advice so thank you so those who were helpful. And f off to those who think you know what is best for my precious DD. Check your own prejudices and judgmental attitudes.

OP posts:
PacificallyRequested · 19/02/2023 10:14

I read it a different way - that you honestly think the people interviewing your DD will notice or care what you look like. In which case you need to get over yourself.

Gwen82 · 19/02/2023 10:32

Oomp · 19/02/2023 10:05

What horrible people to suggest that my DD is going to be in residential care for an eating disorder because her slightly frumpy mother is feeling intimidated by an interview and wants to look and feel their best. We are going into this after much thought and consideration knowing the industry actually very well myself. Sadly there are still some toxic attitudes to weight but I would not put my DD into a school with those attitudes. The issues is mine and mine alone. My DD is desperate to get into this school and I want to feel confident and look my best.

How patronising and judgemental to suggest that I need to check my values. You know nothing about me. I do not need to defend myself or my DD. I was looking for fashion advice so thank you so those who were helpful. And f off to those who think you know what is best for my precious DD. Check your own prejudices and judgmental attitudes.

Just to jog your memory Op

You wrote this in your OP

and maybe look a bit slimmer as I don't want DD judged on her slightly soft around the edges mother!

For most of us, we wouldn’t want our very impressionable young teen daughter under the care and supervision of anyone that we think may just their mother for being “slightly soft around the edges”

Gwen82 · 19/02/2023 10:33

Sadly there are still some toxic attitudes to weight but I would not put my DD into a school with those attitudes.

and yet you say that you want to wear an outfit that conceals fact you are “soft around the edges” for fear they may “judge” your daughter

Binfluencer · 19/02/2023 11:04

OP, your original post clearly states your fear the interviewers will judge YOUR weight, and yet you are willing to hand your DD over to these people. That is categorically not the same as wanting to look your best.

Binfluencer · 19/02/2023 11:06

AvocadoPlant · 19/02/2023 08:49

Completely left field here, but I have a DD who danced at Elmhurst (holiday courses), and attended Tring Park. I wouldn’t walk from the station to either school.
If it’s one of these schools you might be better getting a taxi from the station.

Eh?

These places also judge ppl for taking a walk and thus having a hair out of place?

Isn't ballet supposed to be a sport???

kateandme · 19/02/2023 11:09

Binfluencer · 19/02/2023 09:23

@Gwen82

Glad I'm not the only one seriously concerned about the values in this post. I really hope it's not real.

Yes.sadly I'm afraid it's true. Ballet school.ouch.poor girl.it should never have been allowed to be so.but it is and can be worse than you imagine.

RosesAndHellebores · 19/02/2023 11:17

Daughter of a trained ballerina here. Don't do it op. My mother is 86 and has been a dainty size 8 all her life. I have never been dainty but I am a recovered anorexic.

It's a very hard world, full of prima donnas and narcissism.

Quite apart from the fact that it's your daughter's interview, not yours. Smarten up your usual look. Black jeans, top, casual jacket, ankle boots or loafers

AvocadoPlant · 19/02/2023 11:18

At Tring the station is a long way from the town centre along a fairly dusty road , atElmhurst it’s a very busy road.
Neither would be ideal pre-interview if you’re trying to create a good impression and dressed up imho.
Is that really any different to going to any independent school interview?

Binfluencer · 19/02/2023 11:53

@AvocadoPlant

We're human beings who travel on foot. Any institution that's bat shit crazy enough to have an issue with a tiny bit of windswept hair shouldn't be allowed to care for children, be it ballet school or regular school. Travelling on foot is better for the environment and ballet dancers need that lovely clean air to breath.

Gwen82 · 19/02/2023 11:53

AvocadoPlant · 19/02/2023 11:18

At Tring the station is a long way from the town centre along a fairly dusty road , atElmhurst it’s a very busy road.
Neither would be ideal pre-interview if you’re trying to create a good impression and dressed up imho.
Is that really any different to going to any independent school interview?

Pretty sure the grey haired Oxford scholar head at my son’s independent school didn’t give a flying fig if a parent is “soft around the edges” 😐

Newuser82 · 19/02/2023 12:13

I took the original post to mean that she wanted to look her best in order to support her daughter and give a good impression at the school. Not that she was worried that they would judge her for appearances and therefore also her daughters weight and appearance. If that makes sense.

BreakfastOfWaffles · 19/02/2023 12:16

I would go with navy wide leg trousers, white shirt, sleeveless knitted tank top, trainers, long coat.

NerrSnerr · 19/02/2023 12:59

I have to admit I was concerned when I read the OP and this statement

I really want to get this right (and maybe look a bit slimmer as I don't want DD judged on her slightly soft around the edges mother!)

If you genuinely believe the institution will judge your daughter because of your weight then please don't send her. Protection of dancer's mental health (and their approach to dancers' diet and weight) should be what you are interviewing them about.

goodsea · 19/02/2023 13:05

I would go for a slightly smarter version of your jeans and trainers. Smarter leather trainers maybe or ankle boots. Soft jumper. Nice coat. I might consider having nails done (whatever that means to you) as that always makes the look a bit more pulled together.

I'd also consider a taxi as well in case it's raining.

Moopsi · 19/02/2023 13:14

Newuser82 · 19/02/2023 12:13

I took the original post to mean that she wanted to look her best in order to support her daughter and give a good impression at the school. Not that she was worried that they would judge her for appearances and therefore also her daughters weight and appearance. If that makes sense.

This. I can't believe the judgy attitudes of some on here. Perfectly normal for a Mum who describes herself as frumpy and soft around the edges to be intimidated by an interview at a ballet school! She asked for fashion advice not nasty comments about her DD ended up in residential care with an ED! I didn't read it as her meaning that her DD would be judged on her weight but that the Mum wants to support her DD and make a good impression. A lot of judgy reaching on here.

Polarbearyfairy · 19/02/2023 14:20

Some of these comments are disgusting. Save up for residential care? What a revolting thing to say.

OP I totally get it - I had the same for my DD's high school interviews, you want to represent them well and look like a with it functioning parent!

No style advice, but I do love a nice seasalt dress.

Ancientdecs · 19/02/2023 14:31

Hi Op, i recently got a lovely blazer in the Kooples sale. Really happy with the fit of it. Something like that over a fine knit top from Arket or Cos?

LadyWithLapdog · 19/02/2023 14:34

@Ancientdecs i like their stuff but ££. I got a white T-shirt for DS and the black leather skull run into the white fabric :(

Ancientdecs · 19/02/2023 15:02

Oh that's so annoying!

Eaterofcheese · 19/02/2023 15:14

Who would have thought wanting to look nice for an interview that was important for your caught would be so contraversial op!

Gwen82 · 19/02/2023 15:20

Eaterofcheese · 19/02/2023 15:14

Who would have thought wanting to look nice for an interview that was important for your caught would be so contraversial op!

Yes because it was that reason why some responded in the way they did
rather than the op worrying that her teenage dd would be judged because she was “soft around the edges” 🙄

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