Body shape questions thread 💃🏻

[ConscriptMother]

Is anyone else “between” two body shapes, or having similar questions? I have spent a bit of time measuring body proportions and I really seem to be stuck between rectangle and hourglass.

However, hourglasses are generally described as voluptuous, small-waisted, curvy - and my upper half only really seems to balance out lower half bc of broad, straight shoulders and big rib cage. My poor bosoms are not voluptuous in the slightest these days! My waist technically is small enough to fit the definition of hourglass but it doesn’t seem small. I really can’t tuck in tops or accentuate waist with a belt, which seems to be a key recommendation for this body type. Wrap dresses make me feel like a rugby player.

But, for rectangles they really seem to emphasize the long straightness of the figure, and general hipless-ness - and this is not me! But a lot of the “bulk” of my lower half isn’t represented in the hip measurements, as my inner thighs and upper back thigh (under butt- what is this called?) are areas where I tend to carry weight. So there is def plenty there in the hip region, and I can’t really pull off the Rectangle recommendations either.

To make matters worse* my other stats are similarly borderline. Height 5’7” so tallish but not tall. Weight around 10 stone so not overweight but I am apparently small-boned (measured wrists and ankles) so I would certainly look better with fewer pounds on. Neither long legged nor long waisted but not really balanced looking somehow.

Anyone else in a similar boat? Any recommendations? Don’t even get me started about trying to figure out my “season” or even whether I’m cool or warm. As for face shape (to figure out best glasses/hairstyles) - forget it!!

• I know none of this is a real problem. But I’m trying to improve my look in general and it is frustrating not being able to figure out anything about myself even when I go to this effort!

You always have such an interesting and intellectual way of looking at things! I think our personal feelings about fashion are tied up in a lot of different things...even though I don't look like I do when I was 18, and fashions are different, I think in a way I still judge how I look in clothes by some of the standards I had then? For example, saying someone had a "big butt" was a huge insult but nowadays, among the teen girls I know (not many, to be fair) it seems to be a compliment! And we didn't worry about having waists or curvy figures, but just wanted to be skinny and washboard-abbed in ultra-lowrise jeans. (NOT that i'm saying it was healthier to feel this way, or easier to look like that, just that it was a look I understood!)

I just think I had an easier time judging myself back then? The other day I tried on mom jeans belted at the waist with a tucked-in top and felt weird. It clearly wasn't the absolute best look on me, but was it kind of ok and I'm just not used to seeing myself wear clothes like that? Idk??!!

It's interesting to discuss this, but I think I do need to just go shopping and try on a bunch of clothes. And not be sure if they're ok or not. Sigh.

Very true. My body is valid all the time, and I'm working on loving it all the time (ah, that sounds a bit much, but you know what I mean!) but I still would like some helpful guidelines for what clothes look the most flattering on me. If someone has a great eye for themself and doesn't need that, great. Or it's great too if someone doesn't care about fashion etc, and just wears whatever. I certainly would have more time if I just adopted a very practical uniform for all occasions 😂

It's interesting to discuss this, but I think I do need to just go shopping and try on a bunch of clothes. And not be sure if they're ok or not. Sigh.

That's what I do, try on loads and loads and loads of stuff, including things - in fact especially things - I'd never normally consider. And take lots of photos. It's the only way I ever 'get my eye in', and it seriously pisses me off that these days I have to get a train to find a half decent range of real shops. I've never found any way round it though - ordering one or 2 things online just doesn't cut it. Admittedly I enjoy it though, even if I come away empty handed, and I often do.

@GettingStuffed @Findyourneutralspace have you seen those instagram posts with a super hot, fit model in like, bike shorts and a bra, looking stunning...and then another pic of her slouching, stomach pooching out, looking completely different? Maybe we all need to be working on posture haha. I've had random people ask if I was pregnant and I really, really wasn't. One time when I said no, this guy INSISTED that I was!

Maybe people just need to stop asking if someone else is pregnant!!!

Do you have a friend with great taste who could go shopping with you? Someone who's prepared to be honest? Hopefully you can find a look that works for you and then build on that. If you can afford it, maybe try a brand like Sweaty Betty; their jumpsuits, dresses and soft trousers can look great on any body shape.

There is nothing wrong with you OP, or your shape!

the rectangle/hourglass/column categories are bollox

colour seasons is also nonsense

yes everyone has clothes and colours that suit them

but nobody is a rectangle 😁

i think wide shoulders on women can look very cool and athletic, and you may have nice collar bones and shoulders to show off in v or scoop necks

I might just get a ‘Baby on Board’ badge and wear whatever I want 🤣

Its so annoying. I had a great figure at 18 but hated it because I was all womanly curves, and the fashion was super waif. Now curves are in, I’ve started bursting at the seams.

I do think tricks like Spanx help, but they are such a faff for day to day.

Right, there is so much that goes into clothes/appearance. This isn’t exactly what you were saying but I remember when I was a dramatic preteen, complaining that I wish I could have lived back when women wore long pretty dresses all the time (I didn’t realize then that if I was back in the 1800s, chances are I wouldn’t have been swanning around in white lace all day 😬) and my kind and well meaning dad suggested that I wear long fancy dresses all the time now, bc I could do what I wanted. Well, yes. But wearing an old fashioned gown around all the time would have, as you say, created a certain aesthetic. I wanted to be trendy And wearing a romantic outfit 😁

Same with nowadays, in a way. I have certain outfits that look alright on me, in a vacuum. But they’re also really outdated and I don’t want to send the message “I love 2005” or whenever it was.

Well, you explained it better than that, thanks. And thanks for the outfit idea. I kind of struggle with skirts/tops but maybe a draped top would solve some of those waist issues. And my ankles thank you for the shoe rec 🥰

Thank you for these practical ideas! I have a bunch of wrap dresses from when I worked in a more formal office, and idk exactly, but I feel kind of more hefty in them? Not just bc I’ve gained weight, they still fit, I just feel broader in them? I’ll give them another try bc it has been a while!

I think wider leg trousers (I only have dated work trousers like this-not sure the term, but like the trousers that go with a suit, so not for my every day anymore!) and chunkier heels is a great look on me. I just need to find a way to translate that into my life now. Wide leg jeans seem kind of stiff/bulky? And I, realistically, am not going to wear heels daily either 😬

Im going to try out some of your other recommendations too, thank you. One thought for you and upper arms- I’ve actually found sleeveless (not strappy but ending right at shoulder, not sure if better descriptive term for this) is more flattering than cap sleeve. Cap sleeve seems to cut me off right at the plumpest part of arm, whereas sleeveless is looser around top of arm and then lets the whole length of the arm be seen. Just something to think about!

@ConscriptMother i think maybe you are being quite hard on yourself as well, given that you sound like you’re similar build and age to me and yet you are over a stone lighter than I am.

I’d love to go and do a day trying on every single thing, but I hate hate hate trying on clothes, I hate the mirrors, I always seem to be a much bigger size than I thought I was, (don’t even get me started on trying on jeans) and everything is so, so expensive. I find myself drawn to the same things every time which is why I have 7 long cardigans but cannot find a top to wear on a Saturday afternoon. Sigh.

@Onnabugeisha, @HowDoYouOwnDisorder , @thenewaveragebear1983
😳Rereading what I've already written, I can see it does look like I'm being very, very critical of myself. I would be much kinder about a friend, so I need to try to speak more kindly about myself, I realize!

I don't think I'm really huge, or disgusting or anything like that. I know that at 5'7 and 10 stone ish, I'm not overweight. But I guess what is frustrating me is that I don't look tall, slender, elegant. So I think part of the problem is that I'm not doing a great job dressing myself, because I should look "better". I think I just have some unusual proportions, bc I do seem to wear a bigger size than people would think I should, or you know when you look at the online reviews of clothes, and a reviewer will say their height/weight/what size they bought? I am always surprised at how small the sizes people get for their height/weight compared to what I take.

I guess it really would be too much to hope for an easy fix in the form of a body type analysis to make clothes shopping easier for me, if I am slightly unusually proportioned :/

I also look better in sleeveless than cap sleeves

right now I am, inspired by TikTok 😁, not dressing for my shape or size but boldly choosing things I like

so I have embraced the big puff sleeves, and also baggy/wide jeans, chunky shoes (not necessarily all together) where previously I might have worried that puff sleeves and wide shoulder would make me look broad, and that chunky shoes make my size 8 feet look huge

… but paradoxically, the more modern way of NOT choosing things based on whether they are flattering has rejuvenated my wardrobe and style

maybe just go out there and try things on and experiment a bit, at 50 I have ditched my safe and flattering wrap dresses and “sexy” heels and am loving trying new “unflattering” but fun styles 🙂

(I am also unusually proportioned by the way, with especially athletic/broad shoulders and 6ft tall and 12 stone!)

I agree it helps a lot to like an item of clothing! I'm kind of all over the place with what I like, sometimes I don't mind being boring if it's generally flattering, sometimes I go a bit boho too (esp in summer). If I were to be suggested, by an expert say, some kind of style of clothing, and I really hated it, then it wouldn't matter if it was flattering on me. But in general, I don't really hate many styles, so if something did look great on me, I'd probably like it enough to wear it (as long as not too expensive, too uncomfortable, and appropriate for what I needed it for, of course!)

Yes, I just need to suck it up and do it, even though it's sooooo much easier sitting on my sofa, looking at a bunch of sites online, and getting some good deals! That's one of the themes of this thread, no shortcuts!

I used to like actually physically shopping a lot, not really sure what changed.

This is such a good idea but it's a little tricky in practice. My friends are all so, so kind 😂And it's easier for me to like, critique my figure/style/look anonymously on the internet than to get really in the weeds with friends. And I'm so fussy...truly I am a joy in real life, just perhaps not to go clothes shopping with! 😆I'll think about this idea a bit more though, because you are right that it would be really helpful. I'll get some more critical friends!

I don't have any Sweaty Betty but thought it was all workout clothes, so I took a gander at their website and was surprised that it had a lot more. Some nice stuff! Does their sizing run small/large/true to size, have you found?

Thanks for the advice!

I sympathize!!! I also know that I should be buying fewer but better items of clothing, but when I'm so unsure if I really like something/it's flattering/it's actually going to be a classic....it's easier to buy cheaper options. It's embarrassing how many clothes I have, Marie Kondo would faint, but I still stand in front of my hangers, not finding anything to wear.

Well thank you, that's a nice thing to say! I don't really mind my wide shoulders, I guess they balance me out. Funny you mention collar bones because, even though on the basis of this thread, I am clearly somewhat self-obsessed/vain 😁I had never thought about them being a thing of beauty until recently. Now I've been hearing about collar bones everywhere!

😆

Spanx for every day!!! I would keel over!!! Although thank you for reminding about the existence of such articles of torture bc that actually would be a good idea for a special occasion where I just needed to suck it up for one event (ha).

You sound so fun and actually really stylish! I have kind of done some of this, for example, for the past few years I've worn a lot of fairly shapeless dresses in the summer b/c they are pretty and comfortable. Technically, probably not the most flattering option, but that's ok! I also have wide shoulders and have a lot of fun with puff sleeves at times :)

I also have size 7.5/8 feet and am 5 inches shorter than you! My grandfather said it's good to have a sturdy base 😆

What I do really want though, is to have a better idea of what IS flattering on me, not to wear all the time, but for when I do want to "look my best" For example, I have a family wedding coming up - no need to look for any dresses to suggest me, helpful people, bc I am in the wedding and not yet sure if the bride is just going to suggest a color/style of dress/matching dress/WHO KNOWS. But anyway, I will be in a lot of family pictures and would like to look as nice as I can, but in looking through dresses online, am at somewhat of a loss..

Yes, I find they do run true to size and are surprisingly forgiving! I'm not the least bit young, skinny or athletic and I think I look good in their things 😁. Good luck finding your style - remember comfort, posture and attitude are what matter most. ❤

Let's also remember that we are all, today, here and now, the youngest and most gorgeous we'll ever be again for the rest of our lives! Here's to wearing all the clothes in all the beautiful colours, and walking tall with a spring in our step and a smile on our beautifully lived-in faces 😁.

I think that one of the things we need to do is try and be kinder to ourselves and be more accepting of the areas that we want to disguise. I’m never going to have a flat stomach so I have kind of accepted that I have a tummy and that it will show. There are days when I struggle in terms of my body confidence and whether something that looked nice in the past doesn’t look good anymore. I try and ride those days out and start the days fresh and think of things in terms of personal progress and how far I have come.

I agree Niftythrifter. My main gripe with this whole business is that it's spawned so much negativity and self criticism, but it's a shame because to begin with it was largely about confidence and accepting what you can't change. E.g If you look at the very early Trinny and Susannah stuff, before they fell down the body shape rabbit hole - and ignore the fashion which has obviously changed - most of it boils down to 1) highlight the features you like 2) play down the features you don't like and 3) wear a decent bra. Sensible stuff which I still follow some of the time and it was a shame they kept on getting book deals and needing more and more nonsense to fill them. But if you just want a few very basic rules op, I think you could do a lot worse.

@Sizzlebot @Niftythrifter @Floisme

Good points, all. 💕

@Floisme I just did a deep dive with Trinny and Susannah now! They do have a lot to say. Do you have any idea if any of their pre-body shape advice is still around, whether online or in a book? Thanks