Body shape questions thread 💃🏻

[ConscriptMother]

Is anyone else “between” two body shapes, or having similar questions? I have spent a bit of time measuring body proportions and I really seem to be stuck between rectangle and hourglass.

However, hourglasses are generally described as voluptuous, small-waisted, curvy - and my upper half only really seems to balance out lower half bc of broad, straight shoulders and big rib cage. My poor bosoms are not voluptuous in the slightest these days! My waist technically is small enough to fit the definition of hourglass but it doesn’t seem small. I really can’t tuck in tops or accentuate waist with a belt, which seems to be a key recommendation for this body type. Wrap dresses make me feel like a rugby player.

But, for rectangles they really seem to emphasize the long straightness of the figure, and general hipless-ness - and this is not me! But a lot of the “bulk” of my lower half isn’t represented in the hip measurements, as my inner thighs and upper back thigh (under butt- what is this called?) are areas where I tend to carry weight. So there is def plenty there in the hip region, and I can’t really pull off the Rectangle recommendations either.

To make matters worse* my other stats are similarly borderline. Height 5’7” so tallish but not tall. Weight around 10 stone so not overweight but I am apparently small-boned (measured wrists and ankles) so I would certainly look better with fewer pounds on. Neither long legged nor long waisted but not really balanced looking somehow.

Anyone else in a similar boat? Any recommendations? Don’t even get me started about trying to figure out my “season” or even whether I’m cool or warm. As for face shape (to figure out best glasses/hairstyles) - forget it!!

• I know none of this is a real problem. But I’m trying to improve my look in general and it is frustrating not being able to figure out anything about myself even when I go to this effort!

@ConscriptMother I do like a button down top/ blouse, but I see them as very much ‘work wear’ rather than casual, I think because my waistline in jeans is just sort of an ‘area’ and I never know how to tuck it in. I do have a few boxy tee shirts from new look with v necks and big buttons, and I do like them.
I like gym wear because brands like gym shark do nip the waist in.

what I actually look good in, was thinking about this last night a lot, is formal clothing- office wear, high waisted trousers, the high waisted midi skirt and tight top combination you mention at the start of the thread- but these feel very formal for me for everyday wear. I really struggle with casual clothes especially in colder weather. In summer I wear a lot of dresses and shorts with different tops and feel much more comfortable.

I went slightly crazy trying to work this out. It should have been easy - I have disproportionately narrow shoulders plus an arse that's expanded through pregnancy, age and chocolate. Open and shut pear surely, except I'd wear things that only hourglasses were 'supposed' to wear and feel great and get compliments that didn't just seem polite.

I used to pour over books and blogs and TV shows. Maybe I was a skittle instead or a goblet... And then eventually I thought fuck it, even if I am a pear I don't want to see out my days in bootcuts and A-line skirts.

We're all different and I know some people swear by body shape rules but honestly for me it was like trying to learn to play the piano by reading a book.

That said, I did gain some self knowledge from that period that's been helpful. One - and this should have been obvious to me all along but for some reason wasn't - is that I'm absurdly self conscious about one or two parts of my body. So whereas before I'd have no clue why something didn't work for me, I now know that half the time it's simply because it draws the eye to my thighs or my jawline.

I struggle with this too, haven't a clue what season I am, and my shape isn't clear either.

I used to be an hourglass but thanks to weight gain am now some mixture of apple and strawberry but without the small hips or thin legs.

I've decided to get an analysis, so I can get an independent view of my dominant features rather than my own skewed opinion. I am not going to slavishly follow a set of rules if they don't work for me but I hope that they give me some ideas and inspiration as I am finding it difficult to dress myself due to weight gain, age and a shift in fashions.

I have been following Emily Innes on Instagram and Style Me Happy on Facebook and have submitted an online request for analysis as she seems to have a good eye but isn't too expensive. She also isn't too prescriptive. I'll take it all with a pinch of salt and still wear stuff I love whether it follows the rules or not but hopefully it will help me make good purchases in future and to sort out my wardrobe.

Even if you don't get an analysis these pages might help you get your eye in, it is often easier to see what works on other people first.

That's so great! I bet a lot of things would look good on you honestly, that sounds like a statue of a Greek goddess or something!

And I definitely wear certain things that I KNOW aren't the most flattering just b/c I like them anyway/they are comfy. But I'd like to be able to pick out a very flattering outfit, if I wanted to.

Oh I see - well, the main thing is you do have a good enough eye to tell what's flattering on you or not. It doesn't really matter what your shape is called, as long as you can figure that out.

That is definitely good advice. I guess where I struggle a little bit with this, is trying to figure out, for example, "are my shoulders wide?" Well, I know mine are, but in theory if you couldn't really tell if your shoulders looked wider than other people's, or in comparison to the rest of your body, you wouldn't know whether to avoid boatneck tops or not.

Or like, I don't feel like I have a perfect body with one "flaw", b/c that would be fairly easy to "hide" and then look wonderful always. The whole package just seems a little awkward, ha. Same with body parts that I think look good, it's kind of hard to tell on yourself.

Except skinny ankles I guess - I can go full Victorian and wear long dresses and just dramatically flash a trim ankle on occasion to make everyone jealous 😁

I love this. I think I am an apple/ rectangle, because I am currently fat, but my body shape at my ideal weight is more athletic, albeit with large breasts. I love the shape of women with curvy waists and thighs and smaller breasts. I’m convincedI would always look amazing if that’s what I had been given, I’d just lie around naked eating grapes!
I have no waist and attempts to create one are always disgusting. I’ve just seen the new Matilda movie and Emma Thompson in a fat suit creates the awfulness of Miss Trunchbull by emphasising the middle with belts, and cutting her figure into sections, Idid kind of recognise myself and it was an object lesson in what not to wear. I look best if I maintain a long line through both the shape and colour of my clothes. I’m currently enjoying wearing simple fitted clothes in tonal colours with volume and colour coming in through the top layer, be that coat , jacket or cardigan. Seems a shame it’s taken me 60 years to figure this out.

Oh, I can relate to this. I’m the same height but unlike you, I’ve chonked out in recent years. I was a very classic size 12/14 hourglass for years and it was easy-ish, but my new found meno-tum and extra couple of stone places me firmly(anything but firm actually) into vagueness.

@Zebracat that made me smile.
I'm apparently a ruler but I reckon more like a hot dog sausage. I've gained weight recently and it's created a nice set of love handles so I have morphed into a sausage that has a pair of ear muffs clipped on at the waist. So everything is suck in at the waist, high waist, long line top, big knickers under dress. Really I should just exercise and eat properly, then work out what rulers should wear. So envious of anyone who isn't just straight up and down.

Can I tag along? Having been a classic size 10 all my life I now have GG boobs and a magnificent arse from running up and down 2 flights of stairs all day long every day. If I buy jeans to fit my legs, I can't get them over my bum. If I buy to fit my bum, not only are the legs baggy but the waistline is massively out too. I end up having to sew darts in the waist. There is no answer to the giant boobs but to buy a size 14 which drowns all but the bust circumference.

Ahh yes, the "to tuck or not to tuck" dilemma! I wasn't thinking about this...you're right that in summer it's easier b/c you wear lighter weight clothes, so, for example, shorts and a loose light untucked botton-down shirt with sleeves cuffed is fine. But then jeans and an untucked button-down in winter can look sloppy (I do have a few that have something about the hem/waist that looks ok not tucked in, but then they usually gape at the buttons so just can't win!) Summer is just easier bc everything can be loose and light and not look huge and bulky like you would if you wore huge pullover, baggy jeans, etc.

I ALSO was thinking a lot about what I look good in, and yes, it's more along the lines of formal office clothing, but NOT with the high waist that is in style now, more along the lines of: mid-rise trousers in a "trouser" shapes (loose but not too loose to ankle), with high heels, and a finely-knit sweater/turtleneck NOT tucked in. But I very rarely need to be at this level of formality these days, and that style of trouser isn't quite right these days either. Also I don't want to wear heels on a regular basis!

But for you - can you see if there are more casual trousers that are high waisted that you could wear with more casual tops, like a more tightly fitting knit (even cotton long-sleeved t shirt, not necessarily like, fancy cashmere)? So like, the formal silhouette that you like but in casual fabrics?

Also, and I am aware that what I am going to say has NO PLACE on the style and beauty board, but if you like gym wear, can you not just ...push the limits of acceptable places to wear it? Not work, not out to dinner, etc but running errands and the like? Athleisure is more acceptable out and about these days, right? I have one very pretty and stylish friend, who also look great in gym clothes, and has nice, flattering ones, and in casual situations, she does wear them a lot. It doesn't look bad.

Yes, I feel like I am going slight crazy over this too!! I think at this point, some of my issue is that I have spent a lot of time trying to figure this out, and it's annoying me that I can't seem to 1) "type" myself or 2) otherwise find a number of flattering styles to wear.

So while I AM looking for advice, and hope some other posters can also get advice on this thread, I am honestly getting a lot just hearing from other posters with similar dilemmas. I read this board a lot (rarely comment) and so seeing other posters who I actually recognize as people with an interest in style, also saying they can't figure themselves out...well, it makes me feel less a failure. (Or, not a failure, but less dramatic word than failure!!!!)

You also make a good point about it matters what WE are self conscious about - if I had really long thin legs (I do NOT, alas) many people might see that as a great feature, something to really show off, but that doesn't matter if I feel like a stork and want to wear longer skirts. For example, my mother, who is in wonderful shape, very slim, looks great in a lot of clothes, is extremely, EXTREMELY conscious about the fact that her stomach is no longer completely flat, and will not wear outfits that show this at all. Even though I (and probably most people) think she looks great in a slim sheath dress, she would never wear bc someone could vaguely see the curve her stomach. So there's just no point in suggesting clothes to her like this, even if they would be "flattering" b/c she won't wear them.

I need to figure out what specifically I'm self-conscious about, I guess. It feels like vaguely everything at the moment, but that's not really true. Thighs I guess...and not wanting to look like a husky rugby player in general although that's less a body part, and more just general feeling...

That you can't immediately pinpoint what you're self conscious about is probably a healthy thing, OP.

I think one of my main gripes with the whole dress to your shape thing is that it idealises one (hourglass) over all others and tries to make all other shapes into that. I can sort of see how that works as a pear or inverted triangle as you're already halfway there but it's kind of a raw deal for everyone else.

Then my personal feelings are tied up in suddenly being the ideal shape where before in my angsty teenage years, where heroin chich reigned, I felt like a gross monstrosity (as you do as a teen but the whole body image heteromony definitely didn't help) and would have given anything for sexyenvious' straight up and down shape as I loved clothes and fashion but about 90% of it was just off limits for me.

Then there's the whole 'flattering' aspect, let's face it the hourglass shape overly emphasises breasts and hips/bum while looking as thin as possible. Is that really the definition of flattering? Women who are fuller hourglasses also get policed quite a bit about their appearance as being too sexy/curvy/whatever so it's only within a certain parameter of modesty as well.

It all just feels unnecessarily restrictive to impose on yourself. But I definitely understand the desire to just be able to spot what will and won't work for you without trying on a gazillion things in the shops.

*sexypyjamas

Autocorrect clearly understands my envy 😂

Your body doesn't have to be labelled as a piece of fruit to be valid.

Ooh let me know if you think the analysis from Emily Innes is useful. I did a quick look at her Insta and saw it "started from 35" but would be curious to hear what you get from that.

Yes, I think I also just want to gather some good ideas and inspiration, from people with similar bodies. I get great inspiration from like, models, but the outfits would look a lot different on me for sure!

You are too much 😂Well done you though, for figuring out what looks best on you and what you like to wear! I like how you said you are "currently enjoying wearing" - that's a great way to put it.

Interesting thinking about anti-role models for fashion 😂Remember when the movie Legally Blonde came out, quite a while ago, Selma Blair's character was the main character's law school enemy, really stuck up? I remember thinking "ooh I like her clothes" and then became concerned that possibly I was leaning TOO "preppy" b/c that character was supposed to be snooty, dull, too rich - not really someone to emulate 😂

Welcome! That's the other thing, I am not close to the menopause yet I don't think, I asked my doctor about peri and got the brush-off, so I guess things will change even more in the future? Childbirth wasn't hard enough on the figure I guess...😬It's hard when your shape changes without your permission.

I'm a cross between hourglass and apple. If you look at me straight on I have a definite waist indent, bu sideways I look about 6 months pregnant.

@GettingStuffed you just described me perfectly! I ran into an old colleague in a bar recently, and she wailed ‘oh wowneutral, are you pregnant?!’

Er, no love. I’m pushing 50, my kids (as you may recall) are almost adults and I wouldn’t be necking cocktails if I was. Mortified…

I know I’m valid. I quite like my body. 38f seems a lot though. I once knew a wonderful bra designer who absolutely owned her big breasts, in tight tops, but if I do that people actually think it’s ok to stare or to talk me through them, you have great big breasts etc etc. I don’t get embarrassed any more, well only for them, but I do kind of want to kill them and that would not do at all.
Loving sexy pyjamas hot dog with ear muffs in the middle, that’s a long way from the fruit bowl!
It would just be lovely to know what stuff would fit and flatter. I don’t want people to see me as fat because with that comes greedy lazy selfish stupid and cruel. I don't want people to notice the size of my tits first, because then it’s promiscuous, sexy, slutty, stupid. I do want to have fun with clothes and enjoy the aesthetic I create. And I would like a better understanding of what works. It is easier to see with other people,, so I’m trying to look out for women a bit like me and see how they do it.
@ConscriptMother I bet you would look wonderful in a long Aline skirt and a fitted but draped top.. There are some fabulous square toed velvet Mary Janes about which would be just the ticket with your ankles!

Shapes I found worked well for me when I was less tubby in the middle (and still work better than others now) are:

Wrap dresses with a V-neck
Wide leg trousers with a fitted top
Cropped jackets and cardies
Skirts generally knee length or lower
Single breasted coats/macs
Wedge or block heels (though I’m more often in flats)

Necklines - V neck, scoop or boat neck. If higher, a long necklace to break up the expanse of boob which can look matronly

I don’t like showing the tops of my arms but if necessary a cap sleeve works best

You are so hard on yourself! We do tend to be-I try to remember that no one else is examining me with a critical eye, standing there in my undies in front of the mirror!

I am thinking of what @Zebracat said too, the grass is always greener on the other side, right? I don't know if I'd be laying around naked eating grapes in any case (it's a bit chilly and have you SEEN the price of grapes😂) but being either a ruler or large-breasted sounds pretty great to me!

Welcome welcome! You know what I thought as soon as I read what you posted? A tailor! People always recommend "just buy the size of the biggest part of you, and get the rest of it taken in", and I hate that recommendation b/c I don't want to have to spend even more money, but from your description of yourself, that might be just the ticket! Or, if you can sew darts, can you just tailor all your clothes? That sounds really tricky to me though.

my upper half only really seems to balance out lower half bc of broad, straight shoulders and big rib cage. My poor bosoms are not voluptuous in the slightest these days! My waist technically is small enough to fit the definition of hourglass…..Height 5’7” so tallish but not tall. Weight around 10 stone

This is actually describes quite a tall, slender and elegant body type, closer to a conventional model than an hourglass plus size model. I think you’d look great in most styles tbh. I think it depends what you like to wear? I think most modern clothes (Next, H&M, M&S) are quite boring, I tend to be a bit boho or hippie. You need to actively think a piece of clothing is beautiful and then you will feel beautiful wearing it.