Help - ideas needed for mother of the bride / groom outfit

[weddingoutfitssues]

I have a friend who sadly is quite unwell with early onset dementia. Her child is getting married shortly (end of March) and I have just realised that her husband had no plans to try and buy her a new outfit for the wedding (he will be in the same hired suits as the men but was planning that she would wear a casual outfit from her limited wardrobe). She has no family close to her other than her husband. It is a stately home type venue.

I have agreed to help to try and find her a suitable outfit but time is now short and the budget is limited - as low as possible and certainly not more than £120. Added to which I have no sense of style myself.

Preferences would be quite tailored, knee length and blue. I am thinking a shift dress and short jacket or similar? She does not like clothes to be overly fussy.

I will need to order outfits that she can try at home. She is not well enough to go shopping. Early 60's size 14 / 16.

All ideas for styles / shops / websites would be gratefully received. It really is a very sad situation.

Can you help me find a suitable outfit?

Thanks🙏

@weddingoutfitssues Hobbs sales, lots of blue options.

I am quite appalled that her child can't help this lady.

Unless you want to do a round of the charity shops £120.00 is a really stingy budget.

Tell the child to step up to the plate !

I had thoughts Hobbs would be well outside the budget - thanks I’ll take a look.

There's lots of Facebook groups selling secondhand outfits for MOBs and MOGs

Well I don’t disagree but that’s a whole different story. Believe me there will be no family help. Just myself and my friend. We have both known this lady for less than a year. It’s us or the limited wardrobe.

And yes the budget is stingy at best but even that was considered astonishing by the Husband who indeed suggested that if she had to have a new outfit wouldn’t the local charity shops do.

Also Debenhams sale. For example

www.debenhams.com/product/threadbare-chance-double-breasted-boucle-blazer_p-e477c9fb-c4c4-4cf0-b409-3379aca3044d

www.debenhams.com/product/monsoon-ditsy-tea-dress_p-517aae26-c8b9-40d6-ad28-d18ec055ebdd

I’m sure there’s more but the website’s very clunky on my phone.

Does this lady want a formal outfit? Wouldn't she rather have something comfortable/familiar?

J D Williams do occasion wear and still have a sale on, not sure what would be available in budget though. Maybe worth a look.

How old is she? You can find some nice things at the cheaper end like New Look etc, especially if it's not going to be worn again. You say early onset but also that she is quite unwell. Will she have much input in choosing the outfit or is it more of get something and tell her to wear it?
Would she rather have a dress or a more traditional suit style? Hat, fascinator?
I'd ask her what she would like, she is surely aware that her child is getting married.

It's very nice of you to help with this.

I think a dress will be the easiest thing to go with and pair it with a bolero jacket. That will look smart but still be comfortable enough for her - if she has dementia I would avoid anything too fussy / tailored as it could well agitate her.
The below dress and bolero are in her size, on sale on Debenhams and total cost is £60.

Sorry, missed that you said she's early 60s. Please do t go for the Jacques Vert style suit then!

My mum had a lovely blue top and blouse she wore to weddings from Monsoon.
Also, she really didn't like low necklines so although the dress above is nice, it depends on what your friend likes to have on her top half.

I also think a dress would be easier. Have a look at the M & S sale dresses. What about a long sleeved dress with a pashmina? That would keep the cost down. Or if a pashmina is too fussy perhaps she could wear a thermal vest under the dress if it’s cold. Getting a dress is easy because it’s an outfit in one.

This dress is only £14.99 from M & S. online, it’s available in a size 18 regular.
unlike a lot of their clothing this dress comes up very small, so I would say size up a size or two.

John Lewis lets you search by Occasion:Wedding Guest, colour and dress size and has lots of options within budget in the sale, which finishes this weekend. I quite like this one, which is 40 quid, although it's a bit long.

Or for your original tailored knee length brief: this from Hobbs with a cardigan. I think a pashmina might be too difficult to wrangle with dementia.

What a lovely thing to offer to help.

www.marksandspencer.com/floral-v-neck-puff-sleeve-midi-tea-dress/p/clp22550808?intid=mobile_app_pdp_share

www.debenhams.com/product/coast-jacquard-dress-with-v-back_bcc03920?colour=blue

www.roman.co.uk/floral-print-fit-flare-dress-14250680

www.roman.co.uk/lace-top-overlay-pleated-midi-dress-14040580

Would it be too tricky to hire something? You can try stuff on and send back. I just think it's a waste to buy for a special occasion and never wear again. But maybe with dementia it's too confusing to do that ( though guessing all clothes need to be tried on)

@weddingoutfitssues and I wanted to add how kind you are being to this lady. Thank you

Thanks for all the great ideas - it is very appreciated.

I can’t promise I’m using the correct terminology but by early onset I meant early as in her age rather than in the stages of the illness. Sadly she is quite unwell. If reminded that it is for her child’s wedding she will acknowledge that but within 15 minutes is saying ‘who’s wedding? and needs to be reminded again.

In all the photos I have seen of her as a young woman she was a very smart if ‘unfussy’ dresser. I think a dress would be best. She likes to wear skIrts / dresses of around knee length and likes tights. She really doesn’t like a lot of floaty material which is what I meant by structured. Going a size up is a great idea to make sure she doesn’t feel restricted. A soft cardigan rather than a jacket is also a really good idea and maybe more comfortable for her. Sadly I think a pashmina would be too difficult for her to manage.

I promise I am trying to involve her which is why blue is important as it’s what she likes best.

I really do appreciate all your advice - I am totally out of my depth. She loves photos and I would hate for her to see photos herself at what is a quite formal wedding and to see she was totally out of place.

I hope to be able order a selection of outfits for her to try on today thanks to all of your ideas.

On what planet is £120 stingy for one dress, shoes and a hat? Plenty of high street shops where you can get an outfit with that budget. Christ alive!

I felt so sad reading this. Such a hideous disease imagine not being able to enjoy the preparation and experience of your own child's wedding .
What a lovely thing you are doing. hope you find something beautiful for her

Something like this?

www.hobbs.com/product/petite-elize-jacket/0222-4505-9045L04-ULTRAMARINE.html

www.hobbs.com/product/petite-fiona-floral-shift-dress/0222-5181-9111L04-NAVY-BLUE.html

I actually ordered that exact outfit earlier today after the recommendation here from a previous poster to check out the Hobbs.

Also ordered another couple of dresses from Debenhams so hopefully by the time I see her next Wednesday I’ll have a few outfits for her to try on and choose from. I do hope I can find her something she’ll feel and look amazing in.

Thanks everyone.