How to look a bit better!

[Millie2008]

Hi wise ones!
Ok so, very unusual for me to post on this board, as I'm just useless and clueless when it comes to anything style let alone beauty! But here goes...

I'm 37 with 2 young children (5 and 3). Although I was previously very career driven, becoming a mum has totally taken over my life as my eldest has quite significant additional needs including autism. I'm now very isolated. And as a result feel like I just look awful all the time!
I've never been someone who's overly interested in clothes, and have never worn makeup. My daily routine has always been very simple; shower, a light moisturiser on my face and that's it. I think I used to get away with it pre-children as I had quite a youthful face! But recently when I've seen my reflection I've been quite shocked! I think the sleepless nights and general stress of my life have caught up with me.

I'd like to just feel a little better about myself. But don't have the time or mental energy to spend too much time on "upkeep" (if that's the right word!)- but just wanted a few tips or pointers. Like, 3 basic things that will make my face look acceptable! I know I need a haircut too, and need to stop just wearing joggers or leggings because they are practical for my lifestyle! Or maybe there are ways of making joggers and leggings acceptable?! I see other mums in causal clothes and they look amazing! I think maybe because their faces look better...

Anyway, any thoughts appreciated :-)

Estee Lauder tinted moisturiser and their glowy base makes the world of difference. Victoria, Beckham’s eyeliner and mascara on the days when you can be arsed. Try and eat well eggs, spinach, fruit for snacks and as much water as you can.

Nice swell fitting jeans. Five T-shirts that flatter you longsleeved, a posh belt and nice boots. That’s it now you can get dressed in the dark.

Botox and Profhilo. Everything else is just superficial and makes no difference

@Angeldelight81 thank you!
I was wondering about a tinted moisturiser. What's the Estée Lauder base called? And is it all quite light? Do I need to know my skin tone?

Eek not up for Botox and never heard of the other thing!

I’m quite a bit older than you but I found that bb cream, benetint on lips and Bobby Brown pot rouge on cheeks, has made me look better. It takes less than two minutes and really makes a difference.

I had several inches cut off my hair, it’s now in a bob with some layers, it takes far less time to dry and it’s always tidy.

Thank you @YorkieTheRabbit
Can I ask the name of the bb cream you use please?

It’s No7

Thanks @YorkieTheRabbit

I used Garnier BB cream until recently. Now I'm a bit older than you and my skin has gone a bit drier, I've had to move onto foundation and I've recently found Bourgeois 'Healthy Glow' which I really like. I also just like to have a sheer lipstick/lip tint - I have Clinique black honey which goes on a different colour depending on your natural skin tone. But there are other things like Elizabeth Arden 8 hour tinted lip balm.
Sorry can't advise on the clothes situation as I'm the same. Maybe have a couple of nice dresses for when you want to make more effort? And the rest of the time wear usual clothes with hair tied back but make up on.

3 things I would recommend for your face - SPF, Vitamin C serum and Retinol.

Morning:
I would always recommend using good SPF daily.
I also use a Vitamin C serum in the morning, as it gives my face a nice glow. I use Geek and Gorgeous, as it's cheap and has the right ingredients.

Evening:
The other product I would recommend is a retinol, as over time it should improve skin tone and texture. You could go for a prescription strength tretinoin, however it is a bit of an investment of time and money, or stick with an over the counter retinol.

I find that if I don’t have the time or
inclination to do make up properly, YSL touch éclat, a touch of mascara and some Laura Mercier finishing powder just lift my face and makes me look less exhausted (2 year old and 4 year old). I also find if I have the time to straighten my hair after washing it, it last for days ( starting loose and then in various forms on pony tails etc). I’ve gone from washing everyday to 3 times a week but purple still compliment me on it, even on the third day.

This sounds like an easy ask 😊

For your face it might depend on colouring. I'm blonde with very sparse lashes and brows so if I wasn't wearing makeup I'd definitely want them tinted (you can DIY).

I'd say:
Retinol a couple of nights a week plus a daily sunscreen to improve your skin over time
A tinted moisturiser for an instant improvement
Have brows shaped and brows/lashes tinted if needed

Decent easy haircut.

Jeans/leggings that fit and haven't gone baggy/faded

Some boots that look like they're decent quality, kept in good repair.

I think this should all be very doable and would be great if it improves your self image.

Get your eyebrows done - tinted and waxed/threaded. It will make you look and feel more polished

Agree with either BB cream or tinted moisturizer, mascara and lip tint( I swear by Clinique Black Honey Almost Lipstick). Also a nice haircut, not just tossed up in a messy bun!

For clothing, just have a look at those put-together yet casual women and learn from them. Clean trainers, stylish coat, decent handbag and sunglasses will go far towards looking put together.

If you're ever in Boots or John Lewis, go to the lancome counter and ask for the genifique free facial massage. Did me wonders and i've managed to get a bottle of it in the sales too.
I found the new ysl tint really great...lightweight and non drying. Get colour matched and then take a sample home...to ensure it is perfect match for you before you commit! 😊

Hair 25 mins Tuesday & Saturday - I try to always blow dry my hair properly, rough dried, then sectioned, lift at the crown, smoothing the hair shaft - it lasts and just stays looking better even if I put it up. I then use a hot brush through it for non wash days, 5 mins, to smooth and give a bit of bounce. Nothing works if my hair looks awful.

Make up 10 mins - again, I need this! Estée Lauder double wear mixed with a CC cream, brushed over my face. Beauty Pie wonder powder dusted over. Clinique cheek pop blusher and a bit of Charlotte Tilbury bronzer. Tight line eyes with Benefit Bad Gal transfer resist eye pencil. Curl lashes and use Beauty Pie waterproof mascara to set curl. Line lips with Huda lip pencil and fill with peachy lip gloss.

Clothes (Winter) - various colour longer length jumpers with leather leggings or jeans (black, grey or blue). Boots in black, tan, khaki etc to compliment jumpers. Also love a knitted lounge set with long cardigans over and boots or trainers. Have various longline gilets too, a long black shawl collar coat.

I always wear earrings too.

Same boat as me @Millie2008

I wear my earrings 24/7 so no need to remember to put them in. There are loads you can sleep in

I have a necklace that goes with everything that I wear

Clean black boots

Nice coat

Nice handbag

Perfume makes me feel like I've made an effort

Just switch to jeans. You'll get used to them, or for days when I want more comfort I wear tights, dress and jumper.

Go through your wardrobe and donate everything that is slobby or don't suit you or don't fit you perfectly. Including PJs. Totally changes your mindset. Now it's so easy to find things that look good and doesn't take any time or effort. Plus I can't fall back on slobby things anymore.

Decent underwear, something that makes you feel good when you put it on.

I went and bought new underwear a couple of months ago and the feeling that I've got a bra that hasn't been sewn up where the wire has popped out is so good I walk with more confidence.

I would recommend a vitamin C serum and sunscreen in the morning. And also getting your eyebrows shaped and tinted. I find it makes a big difference and makes you feel more 'done'

giving up alcohol and drinking water made a huge difference to me (much older than you). Also sleep, although more challenging when you have young children.

You’ve had some great advice OP! Just some small changes can make a huge difference - very light make, earrings, perfume (I’m convinced I look better when I’m wearing it!), jeans and some nice boots

Watching with interest!

Great thread.

I would say retinol and moisturiser in the evening and vitamin c alongside some spf 30 bb cream in the morning should do the trick - just 3 things :) start with retinol a few times a week and work it up to every evening slowly. It will take a few months to see full results

If you have Instagram I would follow Beth Bartram for style inspiration. She wears leggings a lot but still looks polished (and she’s a 38yr old mum). One thing that seems to make every outfit look better is a nice long coat, even worn with a hoodie it still looks fancy.

Hair if you can ask to get it cut into something low maintenance that still looks good that should help. I find wearing claw clips makes me look more done for minimal effort and having some tendrils loose around your face will elevate a bun or ponytail. I also love a slicked back low bun for when I can’t be bothered but it still looks out together.

Face wise not sure what your skin is like or if you have any concerns. If you have good skin you could skip the foundations, BB creams etc. and to be really quick literally just use a well matching concealer under your eyes and to cover any blemishes, then a finishing powder (remember daily SPF!) I specify finishing powder as the right one will add a little bit of coverage but add a luminosity and blur imperfections. Combine this with an eyebrow tint and shape just once a month and mascara or an eyelash tint and a nice lipgloss and you’re good to go for minimal effort :)