No buy or low buy 2023

[TheOGCCL]

Starting a new thread for the new year. I really must do better. Pretty sure I am in need of nothing after my 2022 spending spree.

Ironically I think this board sets me off a bit.

I’m better with a blanket no spend but how dull. Still thinking about my ‘rules’, eg set a budget or an item limit.

I need to avoid the sales as many mistakes happen there.

All welcome who want to cut down for environmental or ethical or financial reasons, or simply the satisfaction of buying second hand, or the ease of getting dressed when you have less stuff.

I can recommend Lauren Bravo’s book How To Break Up With Fast Fashion.

Its a bit like eating meat, if we all collectively did it a bit less, the world would be a better place.

Not doing so well. My aim is to buy 12 things over the year.
I bought a love.y cardi then on 31st Jan saw dress from same designer at half price so bought that.
So 2 down and 10 to go!

Phew! I nearly weakened. I saw a lovely looking linen dress on Grae Cove when it popped-up on Facebook. Never heard of them before, so checked Trustpilot and all seemed fine. I came very close to purchasing because the price was great. Just in time, I stepped away 😲

Thanks for sharing, we need your inspiration to keep going!

Well done @AnnieSnap, for resisting temptation.
I've earned back the money I've spent this month by selling perfumes on eBay.
But I've ordered a great pair of jeans( discontinued) & I'm now 'watching' several other pairs. Plus someone's just sent me an 'offer' price on eBay. I've never had one of those before 🤔

As a seller (Vinted, not eBay), I always make an offer - it definitely helps to make a sale, and I often deliberately price things knowing I can knock a few quid off. Does not help us to resist the lure of buying though @Cantonet!

I sell quite a lot and am fairly ruthless about moving stuff on (looking at you, wedding dress) but am trying to find more of a balance. I often swing too far towards just-get-it-gone-clear-stuff-out but then get annoyed when I want to re-buy items that I had before but didn’t keep (recent ‘but I had one just like this 🤦🏻‍♀️’ moments were wide leg jeans and velvet jacket)

Damn being old enough to have worn it the first time fashion coming back around <shakes fist>

@Cantonet & @Netcam thanks. It helps that I have a big bill to pay for an upcoming holiday 🫢 I’m only no buy on clothes, but that’s new for me and it feels good 💪

Succommed to more spring clothes, oops. But spent half what I usually would, so not too bad going, for me.

I've also had my eye on some expensive but nice things lately. I've resisted the urge to have a major blow out and will be purchasing in a more patient manner bits and pieces throughout the year. It's painful, very painful, but I'm determined.

Well done anniesnap and anyone else managing to hold off.

I'm a little late to the party but would love to join for inspiration.

Since the pandemic dh wfh a lot and don't get enough time on my own. Scrolling through the sales and putting stuff in my basket is hypnotic and relaxing and feels like being alone in my head, then when I'm tired or otherwise at a low point I pull the trigger. (Dh is great but I need a lot of alone time.)

I had a great chat about creativity with a friend who works in the performing arts and I've been thinking about how I've stopped making things and shopping has kind of replaced that.

In the past when I've stopped buying new I've gone down an eBay hole instead, which can be just as destructive, so I need to work out what my strategy is around buying secondhand.

It is interesting looking at what makes me spend lots of money on clothes. I have been reflecting and it feels like I've bought so much over the past year.

Last summer I spent ages shopping, trying to find a dress and accessories for our wedding (2nd time round for both of us) in October. I finally found one, but ended up spending lots more than I had anticipated. I will wear all of the clothes again as they are very nice and not specifically wedding clothes, but not what I would usually buy.

Then in Autumn 2022 with high energy prices we decided to limit our heating to 2 hours a day. Even with loads of layers I just wasn't warm enough and ended up buying some new thick wool jumpers and thermals.

After this I decided I was doing a no spend 2 years from Jan 2023. I did a big wardrobe clear out and reorganised everything. I donated some old stuff that I didn't wear/like/didn't fit and got rid of others were very frayed or had holes in.

After my wardrobe clear out, I decided if I wasn't going to buy anything for 2 years I had a few gaps and wanted to fill them, so decided to start my no spend from late Jan, my birthday, to take advantage of January sales.

I really wanted some more warm jumpers in different colours and styles and there were some great bargains out there. But I ended up going through sales of numerous shops in detail and ended up ordering loads online and not just jumpers.

It felt like this was my last chance to look nice, like soon nobody will notice me. Or maybe the approach to 53 just made me really feel like I am actually getting older. I felt like I wanted some bright colours, didn't want to disappear and fade away.

I feel guilty now, I probably returned 2/3 of it but have kept the rest. I don't think I've ever ordered so much in one go, or bought such expensive stuff. I now have some lovely clothes, mostly on great special offers in the sale. I have never had a cashmere jumper before, now I have 2 cashmere jumpers and 4 cashmere cardigans, they are gorgeous and I feel a bit smarter and warmer in them than my usual hoodies and sweatshirts.

I bought 2 lovely wool coats, both quite different, in contrast to the waterproof insulated jackets I usually wear. I also bought a few pairs of trousers that I can layer thermals underneath comfortably. And I bought a nice wool skirt. And a gorgeous hooded wool coatigan and some sheepskin boots to wear at home to keep warm.

So yes, I went a bit mad, actually very mad! I spent £2269 in the January of what was going to be my no spend year. And I spent some of my savings, which are supposed to be retirement savings. And I know this would probably make my lovely DH unhappy, even though he hasn't said so, but he has seen all of these parcels being delivered and the new clothes I have kept.

He is getting fed up with working every day and wants to look forward to a time when we can retire. He is trying really hard to save and I feel I need to do the same.

So I have confessed all of my failures to you. Now this is time to be responsible and sensible. I've had my fun, although I don't even know it was fun, it's quite a hassle having to try things on that look terrible and return so much.

But I get to pick a nice jumper to wear which looks and feels special. I have even been hand washing them rather than risking the hand wash in the machine, in the hope that if I take care of them I might not have to do this again and it could be my forever wardrobe.

So I am saying clearly now, to you all, I probably have enough clothes for the rest of my life if I look after them. I might need an occasional replacement as a Christmas or birthday present from DH, but really I want to stop shopping. Not just for 2 years, but as a long term life choice.

I did join you after my final purchase last weekend. I now really need some solidarity to stick with it. Only here have I confessed how much I spent. Do you think I stand a chance of achieving my aim?

@Netcam you spent over 2000 pounds in one month???

I can resonate with much of what you have written.

I aim to reduce/stop spending too. I justify a lot of my clothes. I order two or three items only to return two of them and keep one and I do this repeatedly. While I congratulate myself on returning so much, I tuck the item I kept into my full wardrobe. i have so many clothes with tags on them.

Coats are my downfall as I live somewhere with cold weather.

For me, I have to switch off my laptop at night. I browse clothing sites as a hobby and end up buying frequently. Could you do that?

Yes! But it was not the kind of thing I do every month, more like a one off winter wardrobe overhaul for the long term future. The only other clothes I had bought in the whole of 2022 were my wedding outfit, a pair of trainers, a couple of jumpers and some thermals.

I think I just need to decide that I am no longer buying stuff. I can go months without even looking at clothes online or even thinking about it. But then when there is something new I want, like the wedding dress last summer or warm jumpers this winter, I tend to look everywhere and then see other stuff and want to try them, especially when it looks really nice and is on offer and I think would look good with my other clothes. I was a single parent for a long time and never had any money for nice clothes. Things are easier now and I do have savings so I could afford this as a one off, as long as it's quality clothing that will last. But I have no more space or need for any more and really I need to focus on saving more for retirement, not spending what I have saved.

The other thing I have done is unsubscribed from all newsletters from online shops so I can't hear about the sales. I think I just need to forget about clothes and get myself into another mindset. I have one son doing GCSEs this year and applying to 6th forms and another doing A levels and applying to unis, everything feels quite full on as a parent, especially as most of the support comes from me since my DH is not their father. Even though my boys get on well with him, it's not the same. I think my clothes browsing has been a distraction from it all, something else to think about!

I do think that doing "items" is possibly counterproductive if your no spend is to save money. Mine isn't - it's lack of space. But I can definitely see some justifying "I can have 10 items" as "In that caseI can spend £240 on this jumper instead of my usual £30."

I agree, a budget would be much better. Although my budget now is zero!

Netcam you could be me. Like you I bought all the layers in the sale in case I have to turn the heating off (it rarely comes on if set at 15°C, maybe a couple hours overnight). Don't feel guilty, it's a lifetime of putting yourself last that does it. You deserve nice things too. The only reason I'm not having another big blow out myself is that I'm a shopaholic and I won't stop, I'd still shop next month too and the one after and so on. So I'm aiming to spread out over the year what I want. Same as you I want something different and colourful that's not like my old wardrobe, is comfortable and will last. Quality fabric costs. Also need to cut down to the point of 1 new item per month next year due to space issues so I really will have to embrace the mindset of "admire, but don't acquire". I can sew and I'm having fun customising items that aren't quite right or don't quite fit, making that my new hobby instead of shopping. I never intended for shopping to be a hobby I just fell into it. It's too easy to scroll when you're bored. My advice is don't tell your husband. New clothes was necessary to an extent, it's done now, and what he doesn't know won't hurt him. It's unlikely he'll realise the quality or how much something cost, just bring out one or two pieces a month from the back of the wardrobe and he probably won't realise how much you've bought. At least you had a declutter, I'm not doing so well on that side of things. It's ok at your age to finally have some precious clothes and not "that'll do" and ancient things with holes in. Men's clothing is often much better quality than women's at the lower price points, I've found. It's not surprising they don't always understand our desire to spend more.

Today my guilty pleasure is some perfect looking jeans, a wool blend overcoat in the sale for peanuts and some stupid trainers that I know will make me smile whenever I put them on. I don't need any of it, but it only cost £60 so I'm not going to cry.

I've had my fun, although I don't even know it was fun, it's quite a hassle having to try things on that look terrible and return so much.

This is what I keep telling myself, and it's a responsibility to keep and take care of clothes that require space and maintenance and which will sit there judging me if I don't wear them.

I seek the shopping experience I remember from my 20s/30s where I can touch and try on clothes. It doesn't guarantee success but you have a genuine human sensory experience, feel/smell/see/appreciate/feel thrilled by fabrics, colours, shapes, new ideas and other shoppers. It provides its own satisfaction even if you don't bring anything home.

I have been lurking on your thread a bit and I wanted to post in support of @Netcam. I sympathise so much with you. I think it is the decision "never buying again" that can trigger a lot of shopping. And a history of any kind of hardship and deprivation just triggers this instinct to stock up and treat yourself for the last time. Not that I have a solution but I think one's wardrobe always evolves and can never be complete or perfect. Like life itself. Also, a great poster on this forum says the "complete capsule wardrobe" and "invest in forever blazer" ideology is pumped at women when they are, say at 50, actually at the brink of a lot of changes in their body to come. They will need different clothes in their life later on, not what they think is forever at 50.
I also have a DS doing A levels, and this is very stressful. Have nothing to add, bar I feel for you but equally I think persisting with the idea you will not buy anything again might actually lead to more buying, and maybe you need a different twist in your head?

Sorry to stray off topic a bit but it'll help with the low buy if I can keep clothes long term. @microbius what happens to your body at 50+ ? If you don't gain weight why are the clothes you already have no good? I'm buying with an eye to the future these days, less trend led clothing and more classic, asking myself "will I still want to wear this when I'm 70?". Although I'm nowhere near there yet I don't want to get there and find a pile of unworn clothes in my wardrobe that are somehow no good. That really would be a waste. Especially as I have a rubbish pension and probably won't be able to afford to buy any clothes when I'm 70!

crisping you'd also get tired walking round the shops, which somehow seems to help and is definitely part of the experience. As is going with a friend so it's a sociable thing. Online shopping isn't the same. The things I bought earlier in the month were from physical shops and it was a much better experience.

@Netcam I don't think you should be feeling guilty. Cashmere jumpers last for years if looked after. I have some pieces that are 12 years old or more. Good coats will also be worn a lot.
Enjoy wearing them!
I think setting a low budget or 'intentions' for the year helps following on, rather than a zero budget. I would find that impossible to follow & feel incredibly deprived.
My buzz is finding a bargain. Either on eBay or in sales. Now I only allow myself to shop at H&M, M&S & Tk Maxx online. As they are one of the few stores left in my nearest market town. I used to buy Maxmara etc. But I can't afford this sort of expenditure now. I now have a £40.00 monthly budget. Anything over that has to be funded via eBay sales.
Hopefully this will work for me 😉
Finding out what works for each of us is a learning process....

Netcam is a £0 budget sustainable or will you run out of willpower?

What was that reality tv programme from the 90s where people would learn strategies for budgeting and getting out of debt (prescient or what)? They were allowed £10 per week(? I think) to blow on whatever treat they wanted. It needed to be cash, literally just a tenner in your pocket, to prevent willpower fatigue.

Exactly, and it would be a day (or lunch hour or whatever) to look forward to, rather than something to slip into every 10min gap between daily drudgery. It's just a fuller experience. And by allowing yourself to put in the time and energy it feels more worthy than the covert scrolling I find myself doing when I'd otherwise be watching the film in front of me in my living room with dh.

I did enjoy spending an afternoon in Portobello Road, stroking jumpers and suede coats and trying on loads of stuff, but in the end I bought a suit that 1) needed a (minor) alteration and 2) I've never worn, even post-alteration.

@microbius thank you for your empathy, I do appreciate it.