Feeling ugly, no self esteem - beauty tips?

[zara5897]

Quick bio
Very tall, saggy boobed first time mum who needs beauty tips because I'm in tears with how I look. It's starting to affect my marriage now as my self esteem is at rock bottom. Had my hair done this week and she did it so dark I now look sick with my pale skin. It's all a bit shit. So I'm after help. Here goes;

Tips on washing out the colour or lightening hair quicker after it's been dyed too dark?

Boobs now sag following months of breastfeeding - they fall out my bra when I lie on my side. I'm not big so I appreciate padded cups. Tips and is this normal?

Revitalash. Can't afford extensions anymore. Is the one on Amazon legit? So much cheaper than elsewhere - Does it work? I remember extensions made me feel prettier.

What shoes that aren't heels will make my giant self look attractive in tights/autumn dresses? I own long boots but I don't feel they do me any favours.

Clothes for tall women to make us look shorter? Styles?

Embarrassing one..... butt acne? Nothing I do makes it go away and we've just started having sex again and I'm hiding it! I shower daily and wear loose cotton pants :(

Any other beauty tips, ANYTHING to help, i'd appreciate.

Could you get some DMs? They're flat and chunky so would balance you out a bit. A good BB cream (eborian is lovely). An everyday tan so you have a bit of a glow and don't look so pale against your hair.Can you afford to go and have a few highlights put through your hair?
I would start some exercise too, it will help you feel better and your skin will get a natural glow ......I hope you're feeling better soon

Butt acne ....try a glycolic acid (nip and fab is good) just put it on a cotton wool pad and wipe it over every morning and night

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad, please don't be too hard on yourself. Remember your body has done something amazing giving birth, so needs time to recover, and your breasts too are doing something useful too in feeding your baby - in time they will regain some of their fullness.

Body lotion with salicylic acid can sometimes help with acne, it's a chemical exfoliant which will make your skin smoother as well. In the meantime you could try 'mood' lighting (i.e. very dimmed) if you're not feeling as confident with your husband.

As for your hair, I'm not sure about it washing out quickly, there are a few old wives sort of tips, like Vitamin C, however not sure if they really work and could make the condition of your hair crap. You could try using a nice blush to counter the paleness in your skin and give your face a lift.

Also, you could look up tall style inspiration on instagram, and invest in a few pieces to make you feel better.

First tip, be nice to yourself! You? You rock. Those 'saggy' boobs literally fed your child, that is amazing - go them!
Keep being nice to you because you will be in a relationship with you until the day you die.
Practical stuff though. Blusher. I'm dark haired with pale skin and it perks my face up no end. Likewise tinted lip balm. Rather than potentially dodgy revitalash go somewhere legit and buy rapidlash instead. Don't expect miracles overnight but use it every day and a couple of months in do expect miracles.
Bum acne I haven't experienced but I did have a horrific break out on my back a few year back. I used an acne face wash on my back and sprayed it with an acne clearing micellaire type product until it calmed. Treated it like my face basically. In the meantime, crotchless pants? 🤷🏻‍♀️😆
Are you a perfume person? Spraying some on always cheers me up.
And once more, be nice to you.

Second the tan and glycolic acid. Also salicylic acid. You can get bars of exfoliating salicylic soap on amazon for around a fiver (it's pink) and it's brilliant for bacne so worth a try! Also, UK lash (order direct from their website) is great, you'll be able to pick up discount codes from Google. I used to use lilash which was pricey, but switched to UK lash which is half the price and much prefer it. Other than that, a nice smelling moisturiser, hair mask, face mask and painted nails and toe nails always cheer me up when I'm feeling a bit crap, a little self-care pamper night works wonders (chocolate and wine/hot chocolate conpulsory)

Sudo cream for the butt acne.

Ballet flats for shoes.

A bit of fake tan on the face,or bronzer.

You're not ugly 💞

The boobs will get better.
I rushed off and had a boob job three months after I stopped breastfeeding and it was an enormous mistake because later when I had the implants taken out for other reasons, my natural breasts had actually recovered some of the shape and volume so I’m actually not devastated with what I’m left with. Obviously they are never gonna be like an 18-year-olds again but they’ve fed a child for three years.

Ballet flats are horrendous for your feet they should not be your go to choice of footwear if you can get away with trainers new balance look great, there’s also a brand called Air & Grace that I get a lot of shoes from I’m a size 8 1/2 or nine. I’ve had some lovely shoes from there

Highly recommend a body wash with glycolic acid for the acne.
A little self tanner can be such a great confidence booster and would also recommend using a lovely thick body moisturiser, which will also help extend the life of the tan.
Your boobs sound exactly like mine.
I hope you feel better soon

Also Head and Shoulders is fab at fading hair dye!

Is the hair dye permanent or semi? I find Nizoral shampoo strips colour. Coconut oil does too (and is a great conditioner). Or could you go back and say you're unhappy with the colour and see if the hairdresser will put some lighter brown in to lift it?
Don't try to look shorter. Being tall is great! How about chunky ankle boots (DM style or Chelsea boots) to change your look a bit?
And yes, it's totally normal for breasts to be empty and saggy after breastfeeding. The fullness did come back for me. I don't know if it does for everyone. Can you go for a bra fitting to get a really nice bra that makes you feel better about your breasts?
Try not to be so hard on yourself. We're always our own worst critics. I think it's common to feel especially low with young babies. Your body is still changing and adjusting and you're probably permanently knackered!

Thanks so much ladies. Loving the tips.
Hadn't thought of a tanning moisturizer - any recommendations? (Non orange and non smelling of cat pee pls)

Has anyone used revitalash?

Deffo going to look for tall girl inspiration on Instagram.

Any other random ways to make myself a bit prettier are welcome!

Would love to start exercising - when you're feeling so down its so hard to be motivated.

X

Bb cream to make your face less pale rather than trying to lighten your hair , which will lighten on it's own anyway.

Can't see being tall as a bad thing. I'm 5ft 1 and can't wear heels due to my knees, there are a lot of great non heeled footwear imo.
It seems to me that skirts and dresses are designed for tall ppl.

James Read H20 facial tanning spray is wonderful stuff for giving your face and neck a natural glow.

I use the st tropez water mousse (I think they do one for the face) I find the clear ones are better than the tinted ones as they can sit in your pores even after you wash it off.
Try a burts bees tinted lip balm. Don't cost a lot and as nice as expensive brands.

I know it's hard to exercise when you're feeling down but if you can majesty a start you'll find it easier and easier. Perhaps try a 20 minute utube session 3/4 times a week to start. Joe wicks (the ones with weights) or Caroline Gervan (think that's spelt wrong) are a good place to start. If that feels too much try a fast walk for 20 minutes instead

For your body try adding some tanning drops to a nice moisturiser then you are in control of how dark you go.

Start from from from from from the inside and work outwards.
A good diet and lot of water is a starting place.
Get decent fitting underwear, so no VPL and a correct size bra will make all the difference (I go to an independent retailer near me).
Don't squeeze into clothes. Nothing looks worse than that "squeezed into a sausage skin " look. Size up if need be.

...and don't worry too much about bum acne. Most men dont "look at the hearth when they're raking the fire".

@zara5897 okay. I know exactly how you feel - but I think I can help 😁.

Eyelashes, get Nanolash. Get it from the proper website. People constantly comment on mine. HUGE, thick and long. Conversation is usually, ‘oh love your lashes, where do you get them done’. Revitilash is shite.

Boobs, I breastfed twins (I know right 😬). When they were about 7 months, I was going to have a boob job. They where like spaniels ears, empty, flat and I felt embarrassed about them. Nurse told me at consultation hers were same, when her dc got over 12 months they sorted themselves out. I remember think what a load of rubbish. Anyway for other reasons I didn’t get the boob job, but my boobs did lift and fill by themselves. I remember thinking of her when I realised they had improved massively.

Get fake tan on, makes a big difference. Paint your nails and toenails.

All is not lost, not by a long way believe me!! X

Don’t know about bum spots. Isn’t that a bacterial thing? Sure I read that before. You can get it on your upper arms too I think. Cream from docs sorts that pronto 😁

😂, so so true.

Garnier tinted moisturiser is my fave.
or Bondi tanning oil, that’s not smelly, easy to apply and a good buildable tan to what ever you need it to be.

boobs - balconette bras I find are the best (I’m 18 months post feeding and I hate my saggy large boobs they never filled out I wish I was lucky Like others are)

i second erborian BB, i wear it almost daily.

spf 50 daily on your face

treat yourself to Sweaty Betty Power leggings! I always feel good in mind. Sales are your friend!

@zara5897 just wanted to second balcony bras, I fed all four of my dc and although they did naturally fill a little after a year or so, balcony bras give you such a nice lift and shape. I used to cry over mine, but wearing these gave me back my confidence back then, and now I wear nothing else.
But above all, you’re not ugly, your body has just done this amazing thing and you’re amazing for it, be kind to you x

I second head and shoulders for fading dark hair
I also second tanning drops with your moisturiser for a natural glow that you can control.
I also second DMs for footwear that will balance you out. Look for the styles with the softer leather and ideally a raw edge at the top. Aside from being easier to break in they give a smooth transition between boot and calf and don’t cut in or create any calf bulge.
If the bum acne is bad I would see a doctor there may be an issue and they can prescribe topical treatments. Failing that ask a pharmacist.
I’d love to wear a balconette bra but they don’t work for me, if you find the same then I’m a big fan of Calvin Klein seductive comfort padded T-shirt bras.

Finally I second that you won’t be ugly but that your feelings about your changing body are valid x