Please help me to style my vaguely wavy, definitely not curly hair

[StupidSmallFruit]

I’m looking for some MN wisdom, please.

I have thick, coarse, frizz-prone hair. I have been styling it for so long (BBH and GHDs), that even my hair doesn’t remember what it is supposed to be like.

It’s absolutely not curly, but it is slightly wavy.

I’ve tried the Curly Girl method, but it’s not tenable for every day use.

Mainly because the ‘squishing with conditioner’ thing creates ‘curls’ that I just don’t have - I just want my hair to look like my hair, so a gentle wave.

But it’s MAINLY not tenable because it takes SO long to dry…! Hours for my shoulder length hair to dry. And if I go out into the elements before it’s bone dry, it gets blown to smithereens - and we’re back to square 1: frizz.

So the CG method doesn’t work for me, and I don’t want to BBH my hair into a prissy bob any more.

I just want my hair to be itself.

I don’t know if anyone even knows what I mean by this. The professionals (hairdressers) certainly don’t seem to, as when I say this to them, they always just cut it, blow dry it into submission, and then finish the cut <sigh>

Any ideas or suggestions…..?

My hair is similar and I too struggle! Do you have a diffuser? When I dry my hair with a diffuser my hair looks so much better than if I didn't. I also use Davines curl serum after washing and conditioning and before I blow dry. It also really helps lift the waves rather than my hair existing as a big mess somewhere between straight and curly.
There's a salon in London that specialises in curly hair - any kind of curls - called unruly curls. I keep meaning to get round to seeing them, they look great.
Good luck!

I guess the obvious solution is to do nothing with it. I've started to do that as mine has got longer. It is almost bra strap length now.

I tend not to blow dry it or use any products. It does have a really good colour on though.

I wash it in the early evenings and then variously wind it into a bun or leave it down to dry and it dries wavy, finishing off overnight. Then I don't brush it. I sometimes put a clip in etc. It is a bit wild but i actually like it a lot. I pretend it is surfer chic.

Try a curling hair mousse on washed conditioned (towelled off) damp hair, then defuse with head upside down. The mousse will control the frizz the defused will help to stop the dryer from blasting your hair into a mess. When you dry be careful not to agitate your hair too much as it’ll rebel and frizz. Just lightly lift sections. Leave a small amount of dampness in the hair so it’ll find its natural shape and form whilst drying off.

Thanks so much all - really appreciate these suggestions. I need to get my hands on a diffuser.

@Lalaland44 - any mousse recs?

I would say my hair is similar - wavy, but if left to dry naturally it's frizzy and undefined. I'm afraid I have to style it heavily to look like 'my hair but better'.

So, proper blow dry with round brush for volume, then curling tongs for defined gentle waves. Straighteners are a disaster, they make my hair flat and lifeless.

The whole thing is an absolute palaver,

I think most people put the waves back in after they’ve blow dried it. My hair sounds similar and I used to be able to leave it dry but now it frizzes if I do. My kids have my old hair and use various heat-less styling methods and get soft shiny waves - life is cruel!

You hair sounds like mine. Layers have always been v important and a moderate amount of thinning. When longer I would usually wash it early so it was air dried for at least an hour before getting hair dryer out S otherwise it was always not quite dry then instant frizz.

Large round brush for blow drying.

Hair spray in my hand and applied like a serum helps to.reduce subsequent frizz.

Mousse - try Umberto Gianni Scrunching Mousse. It’s aggressively pink, widely available and usually on offer somewhere

For the cut, I find that longer layers help to stop the bulkiness and wild ‘neck pillow of hair’ look. I often get an inverted triangle cut with layers starting around the earlobe and then really thinning out towards the ends. It looks odd when straightened and ‘done’ but it’s great once you get at it yourself

I wash once a week and use Boots curl mousse (pink can and bargain at £1.50). I either put in French plait or clip it back and let it dry naturally. I also use Daily Curl Styling spray to give it a bit of defrizz and separation. I think even ‘just wavy’ hair benefits from products aimed at curls.

I use a mousse called Curl. It’s in a pink and white can. They sell it in Boots and Tesco. £7.50 a can.

My hair behaves like this.

I’m currently sporting a VERY short pixie, and while it might not be the style I’d choose in a perfect world, my life is immeasurably easier as a result. So much less stress in my day.

Lee Stafford shampoo and conditioner for curly hair

Anti frizz spray NOT a serum the serum ways it down and always use a heat defence spray

Brush your hair in the shower but not once you are out

Towel dry by patting

Only use silk hair ties and silk pillow cases

Wrap your hair in a silk wrap if you can to sleep

Babyliss hot brush for a sleeker look or a diffuser for the wavy/Curley look

This all works for me

Same as above - pixie cut removes all the aggro

Your hair takes a long time to dry because it's more porous that also means your hair will absorb moisture from the outside or lose it to the outside which makes it either frizzy/dry so the main thing is to seal the hair shaft.

Oils are best to do this I use a cheap argan oil, then a mousse/gel on top. I have ringlets so I'm fine with a gel but as you have waves you might be better with a mousse there's loads for wavy/curly hair avoid ones with alcohol as they can be drying.

Diffusing really makes a big difference.

Also dry shampoo at the root to give you lift and bounce and if desperate talc works just as good

Get your hair cut by someone who knows how to cut wavy hair. It doesn't need to be a 'curly girl' hairdresser. You may need to find someone who has naturally wavy or curly hair, and they will probably be older.
Straightened hair has been popular for so long that younger hair stylist won't have much experience of cutting hair that isn't going to be straightened.

If you know someone who has wavy hair that always looks good, ask them who cuts it.

If you get the right cut, you can wash it, comb or brush it, and that's it.

FWIW, I find that just shampoo is ok.

Put a 50p size amount of good conditioner on it after towel drying, and leave in. Let dry naturally, or dry with hair drier + diffuser. Comb with fingers only as you go along.

Or do nothing at all. I can't see what's wrong with frizzy hair. It's a type of hair. Doesn't need beating into submission.

Unnecessary disclaimer: S&B is not my natural habitat 😁

My hair is really similar. I’m going to try one of the mousses mentioned.

Oh and oil goes in wet hair, then I put it in a microfiber towel for 5mins max. Gel/mousse good on wet but not dripping wet hair after it comes out of the towel.

Diffuse with hair tipped upside down I'm doing it now sat on the edge of my bed 🤣

I always thought I had poker straight hair. Now in my mid 50s I realise that is is infact wavy and it goes frizzy if left to air dry and then brushed. I am trying the CGM with a degree of success, but it is a palaver. Leave in conditioner and curl cream helps to stop the frizz as does not brushing it.
mine also takes hits to try and I have Hagrid hair when I wake up. Still trying to work out what to do with the Hagrid hair if I can’t brush it?
silk pillow cases would be no good as I always wake up off all of my pillow cases and just on the bed sheet. I’ll look up silk hair ties.

My hair is very slightly wavy. I use a regular shampoo and conditioner, I tried sulphate free, no silicone stuff but it just doesn't suit my hair. I find it helps to not rinse the conditioner too much, just a quick swish under the water. I then blast it with a hair dryer (I think a diffuser would help here but I lost the attachment years ago) until it is very nearly dry. Leaves me with my natural, slightly wavy hair. I know that putting a bit of smoothing cream or a drop of hair oil helps, especially if I am going out on a damp or wet windy day but I don't always bother.

My hair is currently shoulder length. Works when I used to have it a a short bob too.

This is me too. Loads and loads of coarse hair. Naturally wavy so I can straighten and curl it without too much effort. Downside is the frizz is real and leaving it to dry on its own is a disaster.

Im going to take note of loads of these styling tips! I’ve recently discovered sulfate free shampoo (I’ve been using cantu from boots but recommendations welcome) and it’s made a huge positive difference to the condition of my hair.

Also, I think if your hair is just slightly wavy you absolutely can brush it. Sometimes on the day after washing mine I use a drop of hair oil on a brush and that is enough to smooth it out and get rid of the bed hair.

My hair is like this. I'm currently growing out a long bob. Various hairdressers told me it wouldn't work for my hair but I refused to listen! And - it didn't work for my hair.

One hairdresser cut mine into the "inverted triangle" mentioned above and it was soooooo easy to style. I'd rough dry the front then use the Toni & Guy curling paste stuff to scrunch the ends. Because so much weight had been chopped out, the remaining hair was all light and bouncy.

I should go back to him, really.

Anyway. The other easiest style for this hair is just long layers. Currently, I'm using Morrocan oil when it's wet (amazing stuff, kills the frizz), then some curling mousse. I dry the fringe and then scrunch the rest, then curl it up into a bun right on the top. I either leave it (if I'm WFH) or blast it with the dryer. When it's dry, I take it out and it's all wavy.

I have hair like this in my fifties. Used to be curly. Very thick and frizzy.

I have it in a choppy bob with messy ends. Most days I calm the frizz down with Garnier Banana Hair Food ( cheap as chips), then I twist the strands into waves using my fingers as my hairdresser taught me. I leave the twists for about 20 minutes. Then I undo them. This gives me defined wave,and choppy not frizzy ends. Sounds a palaver, but it is really easy.

I also dry with a microfiber towel or cotton teeshirt. Sulphate free doesnt suit me either.