Please help me to style my vaguely wavy, definitely not curly hair

[StupidSmallFruit]

I’m looking for some MN wisdom, please.

I have thick, coarse, frizz-prone hair. I have been styling it for so long (BBH and GHDs), that even my hair doesn’t remember what it is supposed to be like.

It’s absolutely not curly, but it is slightly wavy.

I’ve tried the Curly Girl method, but it’s not tenable for every day use.

Mainly because the ‘squishing with conditioner’ thing creates ‘curls’ that I just don’t have - I just want my hair to look like my hair, so a gentle wave.

But it’s MAINLY not tenable because it takes SO long to dry…! Hours for my shoulder length hair to dry. And if I go out into the elements before it’s bone dry, it gets blown to smithereens - and we’re back to square 1: frizz.

So the CG method doesn’t work for me, and I don’t want to BBH my hair into a prissy bob any more.

I just want my hair to be itself.

I don’t know if anyone even knows what I mean by this. The professionals (hairdressers) certainly don’t seem to, as when I say this to them, they always just cut it, blow dry it into submission, and then finish the cut <sigh>

Any ideas or suggestions…..?

You could try putting it into a plait/ french plait and let it dry like that. Really with thick wavy hair, the easiest thing is to get some layers cut into it to take off some of the weight.

Your hair is probably highly porous and you need protein. Try bouclemes protein drops in your conditioner

@QuietNeighbour @FeralWitch don't suppose you can post a picture? I have thick, coarse, wavy hair that I am cutting short. But I think I need a new hairdresser. She just can't seem to get it right. Every now and again she does a fairly good job but then seems incapable of repeating it. She won't cut it too short because she worries about it bouncing up, which I do understand, but I am convinced that if she cut it in a choppier way, it would work better. but she won't.

So please please please send me a picture?

Your hair sounds like mine. I spent years and years forcing it straight because leaving it to dry naturally just left me with a frizzy mess. I tried the CGM last year, but the results were so inconsistent - looking fabulous one day and like a bird's nest the next. Usually the nest though! So it was back to my Revlon One Step (which admittedly is brilliant) and straighteners. I hate high maintenance though. Really hate it. So, I am back to what I would call Curly Girl Lite or the Lazy Bitch Method🤣🤣Silicone free conditioner as a co wash and conditioner. Cheap as chips Alberto one! Then lightly (and I mean lightly - not squashing it to death in an attempt at curls) squish Boots curl creme into soaking wet hair and leave. That's it. I wash it twice a week in the evening and sleep on it while it's still damp. Get up next day and scrunch out the curl creme. It lasts for days and is wavy and reasonably frizz free. I spray it with water every morning and let it dry, which sets the waves again. Sometimes I tie it back if it's misbehaving, but mostly it's fine.

I also used to straighten my hair, tried CGM but found it too faffy and made my hair too curly. So I now do very similar to @StapFooterin: sulphate shampoo (but silicone free and if I run out I sometimes use DH's Head and Shoulders), sometimes silicone-free conditioner, squish in Boots or other curl creme to wet hair, air-dry or diffuse. Wet a bit and scrunch on subsequent days. Looks better if I sleep on a silk or satin pillowcase.

People say I have beach-type waves. I feel like this gives me my natural hair, while avoid it going uber poofy by the end of the day.

Here you go

I LOVE it. But even I can see that the top bit wouldn't work on my hair. It's too bouncy I think. Damn. Also, I can't go quite that short --- I'm overweight and my face is too round!

Looks great though. I'm insanely jealous!

asnrequested

My hair is like this and ive finally found what works for me. It is not glam .. but.. i wash it at night and leave it to start to dry. Then i put foam sleep rollers in it overnight. The next morning i have curled but smooth hair. No effort.
Between washes , at night i just do the same.
Its volume , curl, no frizz .

Thank you all so much for the suggestions! 💐

Lots to try out. I’m not in the UK, so London hairdressers and Boots products and the like are out. I do wrap it in a t-shirt after washing rather than use a towel, I find banana hair food to be really good, and do sleep on a silk pillowcase.

My hair is currently a lot longer than usual, but I’m getting it cut by a new hairdresser in a couple of weeks back to it’s usual shoulder length, or more likely a bit shorter.

From her photo, the hairdresser herself has thick healthy, wavy hair and is a bit older, so 🤞🤞

I was a teenager in the late 80s - little did I know that was my hair’s peak and heyday, and it would all be down hill after that….. 😏

@StupidSmallFruit , good luck. It'll be fab!

Use both shampoo and conditioner for curly hair - I swap around as if my hair gets used to a product it seems to stop working!
Then I squeeze as much water out as I can and wrap in towelling turban
I scrunch in Osis curling cream - I use number 3 for preference since they discontinued the twin curl formula
air dry works best but if I’m in a hurry I do use a diffuser to take the worst out first

I also live abroad and use Christophe Robin curl creme when I can't get the Boots creme. It is spendy though, so I am trying to look for alternatives.

L'Oreal steampod was game changer for me with similar hair when living abroad in humid conditions.