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Original poster

What to wear at my wedding?

81 replies

kisaki333 · 23/08/2022 22:30

So... the wedding will be town hall only, no guests, just 2 witnesses. Never dreamed of a big wedding, not a big deal for either of us, we've been together over 10 years so married in every way except legally. We are doing it for admin purposes. Want to keep costs as low as possible.

Initially was going to just wear jeans but I am thinking it might be seen as disrespectful by the registrars. Don't want to offend anyone, i just don't care about weddings. So now I am thinking maybe i can dress a bit smarter?

Currently I am very overweight... Size 16 (with a big mum pouch that is starting to look like a beer belly!) Gained a ton during and after pregnancy and I am feeling shit about it. Got huge breasts due to breastfeeding. I won't have time to fix my body till the wedding. No way will I wear a dress. And I never wear dresses anyway. But maybe black trousers and a smart blouse? Can you give me some ideas please?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Arenanewbie · 25/08/2022 23:23

Maybe you can order t shirts for both you and DH with some sort of personalised message e.g Married on 20th October 2022 or Kisaki and Mark’s wedding is today or something else more or less serious whatever you fancy. It will work with jeans and you’ll keep it to show DC and just as a nice reminder.

TheSandwoman · 26/08/2022 01:46

inappropriateraspberry · 25/08/2022 04:42

Asda do some good jeans. The supermarkets also do some nice tops. Do you want to go quite bridal or plainer?
Are you happy with bare arms or prefer them covered? I'd definitely get something that you can wear again, then each time you put it on you'll be reminded of your wedding!

Why would somebody want to cover their arms, unless they were cold? This isn't Saudi Arabia!

TheSandwoman · 26/08/2022 01:50

OP 16 falls within the size ranges for normal shops that don't do XL sizes. At your height you are about average height for a woman who isn't fairly elderly now (older generations scew the figures as generally shorter for a variety of reasons so you are pretty average in terms of height for your age, just a little overweight). So I don't think you need to stress so much about this. Just pick something you like that is smart/ casual. 🤷🏻‍♀️

inappropriateraspberry · 26/08/2022 04:14

@TheSandwoman Many people are self conscious about their arms, particularly the top of them and would rather have a sleeve of some sort. It's not an odd question.

sunglassesonthetable · 26/08/2022 07:55

Why would somebody want to cover their arms, unless they were cold? This isn't Saudi Arabia!

You what? What's Saudi Arabia got to do with it???

Dress or trousers? Long or short? white or colours? Arms covered or sleeveless?

It's just a style question.

TooHotToTangoToo · 26/08/2022 08:01

What about a silky kimono with your jeans and a white top? it will make your outfit a little more special
onehundredstars.co.uk/collections/short-kimonos/products/marbled-green-kimono

I wore this type of silky top, but in white with a small light blue pattern, with a white cami top, and a pair of light blue bootcut jeans to my wedding.

dudsville · 26/08/2022 08:08

Op, i admire your inventing not to waste money on a single use outfit. I think you could find a nice loose fitting comfortable and pretty dress really cheaply. But i also i was a witness to a couple much like yourselves, they wore their ordinary clothes and i thought it was nice.i respect that it's an administrative task. The council staff won't be offended!

GettingStuffed · 26/08/2022 13:07

My brother-in-law wore jeans to his wedding,in church, he wore it with a nice shirt and cord like tie. I know there's a name for them but I can't remember it. You could obviously do the famale version, smarter jeans with a gorgeous top.

balalake · 26/08/2022 17:10

I think the black trousers and a smart blouse is appropriate. To be honest, my first thought when you mentioned jeans was that some people might interpret this as a marriage of convenience not love.

TheSandwoman · 27/08/2022 07:50

inappropriateraspberry · 26/08/2022 04:14

@TheSandwoman Many people are self conscious about their arms, particularly the top of them and would rather have a sleeve of some sort. It's not an odd question.

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend anybody. Just not sure why people would be self-conscious about their arms of all things? All arms look pretty similar to me. It was a genuine question as I don't understand why someone seeing your arms would be concerning.

TheSandwoman · 27/08/2022 07:53

sunglassesonthetable · 26/08/2022 07:55

Why would somebody want to cover their arms, unless they were cold? This isn't Saudi Arabia!

You what? What's Saudi Arabia got to do with it???

Dress or trousers? Long or short? white or colours? Arms covered or sleeveless?

It's just a style question.

Oh no, exactly. Someone preferring longer sleeves is fine but the question to the OP was phrased in an odd way (as if they might be worried about someone seeing their arms, as opposed to just preferring long/ short sleeved/ sleeveless tops for the general aesthetic, and it was that that I found confusing - that someone would feel their arms should be hidden or something? It seemed rather odd!)

TheSandwoman · 27/08/2022 07:55

Sorry to sidetrack, was just baffled by that post!

OP did you find anything you like?

CornedBeef451 · 27/08/2022 08:04

@TheSandwoman lots of women with body image issues don't like their arms showing!

As OP seems very down on herself it was a good question.

I would love to be a size 16 and it is a perfectly normal size so just wear what feels comfortable and get done counselling.

I wore a plum coloured bridesmaids dress for my wedding in size 18, big tum, huuuge boobs, and still think I looked great so it's definitely in your head.

Hope you have a lovely day!

babyjellyfish · 27/08/2022 08:31

There's nothing wrong with getting married in jeans if that is what you feel most comfortable doing.

But don't just get married in jeans because you have low self esteem, don't think you look good in anything, and don't see any point in making an effort.

My mum is 5'2 and about a size 16-18. She was terribly worried about what to wear to my wedding.

We went to Phase Eight and within about 20 minutes we had picked out a dress in the same style as this one, with a coordinating jacket.

www.phase-eight.com/product/jordyn-jacquard-fit-and-flare-dress-208667855.html#navAjax=true&imageType=model&is=false&sz=60&start=240&cgid=occasion&isSecondPage=false&pid=208667855&pos=275

She looked and felt great. I think it's a really flattering style for curvier women.

The following year she went back to Phase Eight by herself and bought another dress for somebody else's wedding, which she also looked great in.

If you look at their occasion dresses you will see that they use quite a lot of models who aren't stick thin, and some of their dresses go up to a size 26. I would recommend going into a shop and trying some stuff on. The shop assistants are often slightly older and will have good ideas about what suits women who want to look nice for a special occasion and aren't size 8 and 21 years old.

You could also book a personal shopper at John Lewis if you don't want to stick to a particular brand. I've never done it myself but have heard really good things about the service.

TheSandwoman · 27/08/2022 13:25

@TheSandwoman lots of women with body image issues don't like their arms showing!

Ok. News to me! Still not sure why because your post didn't explain it, either. Arms are, well, arms! It seems very strange to have an issue with this and I've never met anybody with a complex about that; short or long sleeves is usually determined by weather as far as I know!

I do know some people are funny about their stomach being large and that showing in certain clothes or how more fitted clothes would not suit them if they have a large bottom or breasts but being "self-conscious" about arms is another level and a new one on me. Still not sure what about the arms would offend anybody who might see them... Why would somebody seeing somebody else's arms be a problem? 

But thanks for replying.

sunglassesonthetable · 27/08/2022 13:31

Ok. News to me! Still not sure why because your post didn't explain it, either. Arms are, well, arms! It seems very strange to have an issue with this and I've never met anybody with a complex about that; short or long sleeves is usually determined by weather as far as I know!

Yep it's a thing. It's one of those trigger points like stomachs, bums, thighs etc unfortunately. It's 'not strange' really, just you haven't come across it. But it's out there.

sunglassesonthetable · 27/08/2022 13:33

Have you not heard of people referring to 'bat wings' ? They are referring to flabby upper arms.

If people have that they sometimes like to keep it covered regardless of the weather.
@TheSandwoman

TheSandwoman · 27/08/2022 13:41

sunglassesonthetable · 27/08/2022 13:31

Ok. News to me! Still not sure why because your post didn't explain it, either. Arms are, well, arms! It seems very strange to have an issue with this and I've never met anybody with a complex about that; short or long sleeves is usually determined by weather as far as I know!

Yep it's a thing. It's one of those trigger points like stomachs, bums, thighs etc unfortunately. It's 'not strange' really, just you haven't come across it. But it's out there.

Ok. How weird. Arms are just arms and presumably not that different between people that strangers would notice or care. 😆🤷🏻‍♀️

But will stop sidetracking the thread with this discussion as I doubt it is helpful to the OP and I still do not undetstand why this would be an issue for someone. But simultaneously sorry to hear that it is for some. How limiting and miserable. It's one of the strangest things I have heard (this week 🤣).

Have some people been wandering around in long sleeves in this beautiful summer just do people don't look at their arms? Is it a thing people can get therapy for, this fear of others seeing their arms? It seems a little crazy to me. ☹️

TheSandwoman · 27/08/2022 13:42

sunglassesonthetable · 27/08/2022 13:33

Have you not heard of people referring to 'bat wings' ? They are referring to flabby upper arms.

If people have that they sometimes like to keep it covered regardless of the weather.
@TheSandwoman

I thought bat wings referred to a style of sleeves on jumpers, not actual arms. Confused

MuddlerInLaw · 27/08/2022 13:43

Perhaps you might like to start your own thread, TheSandwoman? …

EmsMumma · 27/08/2022 13:51

Dark indigo bootleg jeans, wedge sandals, flowy kimono and a v neck cami?
Maybe?

sunglassesonthetable · 27/08/2022 14:19

I thought bat wings referred to a style of sleeves on jumpers, not actual arms.

It's what they're named after @TheSandwoman

LottieDot · 27/08/2022 16:10

Something like this with some nice jeans and ankle boots, nice jewellery and perhaps a blazer if cold. I stuck with casual and high street as you mention wanting to stick to a budget.

www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/tops/curves-white-textured-peplum-wrap-top/p/818731110

TheBikiniExpert · 27/08/2022 16:42

Wear what you want but carry flowers to make it special!