I am short, deal with it

[OldAndUngraceful]

I am from a non UK country where people on the whole are shorter than in the UK, esp women. I am 51 years old now, and it doesn't come as a surprise to me that I am way shorter than most women in the UK. I have never had a problem with my height (5.1"), I honestly have always thought of myself as well proportioned and have tried to make the most of what I've got. My DH is 6.1" and he likes me just the way I am.

However, just in the past year or so, several women at my workplace have been making comments, and I am getting sick and tired of it. I am also starting to become self conscious about my height, something I've never been before.

I work in education, surrounded my middle aged women (I am one), and many of them are my DH's height. I am starting to avoid being seen standing next to them, and have noticed that my height seems to be fair game to comment on, like for example my pigeonhole being the highest, and how hilarious that is. 4 different women have commented on that this week.

Are you a tall woman and look at short women with pity? Am I fair game to have my physical appearance be commented on/joked about?

I'm fairly tall (5ft8) and I don't think I have ever looked at a short woman and pitied her. Envied? Yes definitely! I am taller and unfortunately wider, with huge, wide feet and awful "cankles" . I am the least graceful person in the world and I envy women who are petite and graceful. I'm a lumbering oaf in comparison.

Lol 5'8" is more than a "smidge" above average.

Uh no. As a teen I'd look with envy at my shorter friends as they could look cute - an almost six foot teenager is not cute ever.
I don't think anything at all about it really.
Though I have met people much taller than me and it made me feel physically weird. I occasionally wonder if people like yourself feel that all the time.

Just to cheer you up im 5ft 3 with size 8 feet. I have no clue who I inherited that from!

I'm the same height as you, a year older and also work in a secondary school-most of the students are taller than me too!

I get the usual comments but it doesn't bother me that often. I do however feel overlooked at times especially when in a group standing around scenario, say at a party, it makes me feel ...diminished is probably the best word.

My close friend is over 6ft and not particularly happy with that either.

I'm just under 5ft and never heard anything negative about my height mainly as I live in Wales and we aren't known for being tall.

However as an adult I bumped into someone who I was in school with who wasn't the nicest and the first thing she said was "oh you're still short" to which I replied "and you're still ginger" and walked away.

As if 5'8" is a "smidge over' average height 🙄

I'm 5'4" yet I always think I'm taller than I really am, if that makes any sense at all 😄

sounds like people have been quite rude op.
Im tall however, and on occasion, I wish I was more petite. I’m taller than a lot of men and all my female friends and I often feel big and clunky next to my friends. I’m 5 10

I'm an inch taller than you and i honestly don't think anybody has commented about my height since Uni (teen daughter accepted, who was delighthed when she grew taller than me).

Aside from having to ask people to reach things in shops, i am pleased to be able to buy VAT free clothing and shoes from time to time.

I think it must be a right pain being tall on public transport etc.

I wonder why your colleagues are being so rude. It's not as if you can fix it.

I'm short at 5"1 but I don't get much commentary on it. Even when I do, people are much more likely to call me petite or tiny which doesn't feel like an insult in the way short would. Nobody jokes about it - it's more in a positive way, as though it's 'dainty' or when commenting that it's surprising how tall my ds is (though his dad is tall so not a huge mystery!)

I am 5'1" too OP and I agree with you, our height does seem to be fair game for people to comment on, but not just women, everybody seems to do it to me.

It is massively rude, and if you have got the courage to do it, I would say you need to tell your co-workers that their comments are hurtful and demeaning, and you would like them to please stop. But I can imagine you might not want to cause a bad atmosphere so don't say anything. However, if it really is affecting your self confidence then maybe you do need to steel yourself and say something to them.

I absolutely seethe inside when people say in that bright pseudo-friendly tone "Oh, you're so tiny!" (like it's some kind of weird compliment), and have to really hold myself back when they add either a tinkly laugh or, worse, a pat on the head or shoulder!

My DH is also taller - 6'2" - and he notices how much people comment on our height difference too.

We once had a particularly rude woman (about 5'9" and quite glamorous and part of our friendship group, so an acquaintance rather than friend) really take the biscuit though. She loved being thought of as the risqué one of the group, and often commented about how hot the men were looking, or saying things like "we (meaning herself) are the good looking group in here tonight" - followed by that annoying laugh / flick of the hair.

One night she turned to me and said quite loudly in front of the whole group "You know Biff I've always wondered just how you and (DH) manage in bed, you really are so tiny compared to him!"

Well, usually I just clam up at comments about my height etc. and mumble something to shut the topic down because it makes me uncomfortable and self conscious. But that night (probably thanks to one too many drinks) I just stared at her for a minute then replied "Oh, it's easy! I just flip him on his back and ride him like a bronco!"

DH immediately burst out laughing at this, and she just gaped at us like a goldfish out of water.

She never brought the subject of my height up again.

Men also can have problems and not necessarily with blatant spoken comments.

A relative of mine often attends business meetings with people he hasn't met before. They always pay more attention, eye contact etc with taller colleagues. He says it's amusing to watch their body language once they realise his colleagues are his juniors and he is the one controlling the purse strings!

You work with rude people Op.

I'd love to be as tall as you though!

Just to cheer you up im 5ft 3 with size 8 feet. I have no clue who I inherited that from!

I am 5’8 with size 3 feet. Now this I do get comments on if people notice. ‘How do you stand up?’ etc 🙄

People can be dicks. Plain and simple.

If it wasn't your height it would be something else.

I got a comment recently that I don't eat - said whilst looking me up and down judgementally, so apparently I'm too thin (I'm not)

We're all 'TOO' something for some arseholes out there.

I prefer to live and let live and never comment on physical features of other people.

Oh and btw I'm only about an inch taller than you so I'm probably too short and too thin lol!

I'm 4ft 10. I have a colleague, who otherwise is very nice, but comments on my height ALL the time.
Like others, I work in education and even the S1s are taller than me. To be fair, some of 8 year old DD's friends are taller than me!
I am quite a forceful personality but it is annoying being unable to reach things and buy clothes.

I am 4'11, born in the UK and people have ALWAYS commented on my height.

I'm not self conscious about it, I just assume that there's so little going on in their head that they can literally not think of anything other, or better to talk about. I roll my eyes, internally sigh, and say something like, ha, yeah, good one, not heard that one before.

This guy said to me ''there's an allowance for being so short''. He swore blind his grandma was in receipt of it. I wondered if it was perhaps her pension and the bit about it being an allowance for being short was a joke , but no, he was adamant, she got an allowance for being short. Hmmmmmm.

I have scrolled through the citizens information website and the social welfare site (for other reasons, researching contributory pensions) and I didn't see anything i could apply for

You aren’t coming across as not having a problem with your height.

And I don’t understand why this is in Style and Beauty.

@midsomermurderess something that's been a non issue all my life, it's now beginning to bother me at the ripe old age of 51 because of other people's comments. It's in Style & Beauty because I want it to be.

I'm 5ft 1 too. Never really been an issue for me once I left school. Apart from from creeps
Like guys in clubs who try to lean on your shoulder and make jokes about you being perfect arm rest height. Or say things like 'mmm not bad, bit short mind you'. Ick.

Wouldn't bother me if someone was like 'oh you're the shortest and your pigeon hole is the highest' though. I'd just be like 'yeah I'll need to stand on some yellow pages or something' and joke along. But maybe you know these people aren't commenting in good humor but instead because they are trying to make you uncomfortable. In wilhcih case, by all means just go 'yes I'm short. What's your point?' And give them a 'and so what?' look.

Thanks Palg68!

I have size 8 feet in men's/unisex shoes like Birkenstocks, but in women's shoes I'm usually a 9 - which often doesn't exist. SO annoying.

Re women's average height, it is 5'3" globally I think, and I know a lot of women who are below that, including friends and some of my DCs' teachers. My tall 12yo DD is already 5'5" or so, but I think it's still immediately obvious who's an adult woman and who's a young teen or preteen irrespective of height – there are clear differences in the way grown women look and carry themselves. So I think anyone saying that is having a nasty dig.

I'd ask these tall women - "do you find you get rude comments about your height, too? How do you feel about it?" That might get them to reflect a bit.

I’m 4’10” (on a good day!). My DH and our two sons are all 5’10”.
Last week I bumped into a relative who I haven’t seen for a long time, and the first thing they said was “You haven’t grown much have you?” to which I replied “I’m 73 years old, I think it’s very unlikely that I’m going to grow any more, what do you think?”. That shut them up!

I am 4ft 10 and 48. As a child (always smallest in the class) and when I was younger and a very petite size 8 I did get quite a lot of comments on my height/body but, having been a size 12 for many years now I very rarely get comments. Your colleagues behaviour is unacceptable though and if someone tried to pat my head at work they would get very short shrift!