Help needed ! I need to take 82 year old DM out shopping /or online for a very posh outfit ...where do I start !

[bizzey]

Lovely DM is going to a posh afternoon time occasion.
She wants me to help her with her outfit choice (!! Yeah me ...jeans,trainers,hoodie type !!)

She is size 16, 5ft2/3 " ,stooped with back issues .
So not an upright elegant posture.

Was thinking a dress...but that might not work with her posture ?

If anyone could guide me in what would the right sort of elegance for her I would be grateful.

Are we better to go for the trouser look ?
Oh and obviously...heels will be flat .
So confused as to how to help her .
Thank you

Go to John Lewis, they used to have a ascot/mother of the bride/garden party type section that might give her some ideas.

Never used them but what about a personal shopper in John Lewis.

I think John Lewis is a good shout. I believe they have a personal stylist service and I think that it might be good to use that. Good luck.

John Lewis or any independent department store than stocks windsmoor or planet. They do posh elderly lady outfits both dresses and skirt and top. My nan used to swear by them.

I’d skip John Lewis if I were you. I took my size 16 mother there for a personal shopping appointment before her investiture. The personal shopper looked her up and down and said “we don’t have much for outsize women”. The absolute fucking cow. This is John Lewis on Oxford Street who must have thousands of size 16ish women looking for an outfit for the palace there. I’m still cross about it a decade or so after the event.

What is your mum comfortable in? If you’re thinking flats would a wide leg trouser and smart blouse/silk top work? IME comfort with one’s look is the most important part of a polished, “posh”, outfit. There’s nothing worse than being trussed up in something you feel uncomfortable in/feel like a fraud in.

Thank you all so much.
I did have JL in my mind.
But I looked on their website ...and it was all young models !

I think I will have to sit her down ...and be her personal shopper person (mobility not good)

Should I steer away from a dress if posture is stooped ?

This could end up being a lovely mother and daughter bonding session...or divorce 🤣

Horrible thing to say.

If she likes a dress who cares whether her posture is stooped. I mean this kindly, though appreciate I’m not good at it, but she will look elegant and wonderful if she wears what she thinks is right.

I ended up taking my mother to Debenhams (appreciate no longer an option) and ran around the shop floor chucking things at her in the changing room. She ended up in a shift with short sleeves and a boucle jacket. But it was January so probably slightly easier to dress as the weather is more constant. Anyway my point is we tried 100 iterations of the same thing - the outfit she wanted - until we found the one she felt special in.

We didn’t have an especially good relationship then, and don’t now, but it remains one of the better days I’ve had with my mother.

I’d start by narrowing it down (roughly) to whether your mum would prefer separates (skirt/trousers/top) or a dress. And what she’d prefer on her feet - shoes/sandals?
if she fancies a dress but not sure how that would work with her posture perhaps try one or two on somewhere like M&S for style even if you end up buying something more upmarket. Have fun choosing with her.

What an actual cess pit of a human being you are. Disgusting

Windsor and Planet both went bust years ago.

Thank you for your support.
Yeah ...I saw it, before it got deleted x

Google dress disguise hump / scoliosis, there's lots of advice online.

We took my MIL out for afternoon tea for her 100th birthday and her carer helped her choose a dress for the occasion which was at a very posh venue. It was a lovely long sleeved midi dress from Marks and Spencer. This was November though so similar options may not be available now?

Thank you all !
I have just had a brain wave ,with these suggestions!

I have a shopping area near me (ish. )
But all the big shops are spread out and it was putting me off.

But , I have just remembered we have a wheelchair at our disposal for the long walks between the shops .
That would work.
She does like M&S I thought JL would give us more options .

But I can see this working now !
(If she will agree to the wheelchair !
I think she might as she has used assisted service at train stations recently ?)

A large M&S store could be an option - as other posters have suggested. Find a changing room, and just try a number of things on. It sounds as though ease of dressing is important for your mum - pull on trousers, wrap or front buttoning styles.
The Able Label might be helpful - they are lovely over the phone and could advise. You get discount for certain conditions and your mum may qualify - they will advise.
www.theablelabel.com/pages/about-us
Adaptive clothing with some style…and all easy to put on…Velcro fastenings etc.
Just one dress..www.theablelabel.com/products/naomi-floral-wrap-dress-deep-teal
Seasalt has some adaptive clothing. www.seasaltcornwall.com/clothing/easy-on-adaptive-clothing?size=16354
Edinburgh Woollen Mill may also be worth a look - a favourite of my mum’s - some nice, easy to wear designs. www.ewm.co.uk/mid-navy-stewart-tartan-bamboo-leaves-linen-viscose-button-through-dress-2124269
If dresses don’t work so well, trousers and a tunic top would look elegant.
Hope you and your mum find something lovely! Good luck!

Do any of these outfit tips help?

www.anti-aging-articles.com/Kyphosis-tips.html

Sorry - re Able Label, it’s not a discount, but VAT exemption can apply.

My DM and I had a terrible experience with JL personal shoppers. She was dying of cancer and was looking for an outfit for my brother’s wedding. She was a stylish woman and they completely patronised her and chucked a load of clichéd, old lady, crap clothes at her. I’m still angry three years later.

I’ll try to come back with some more constructive suggestions!

My elderly mother buys occasion outfits from David Nieper . Might be worth a look?

Roman might be worth a look? They have lots of comfortable, easy to wear dresses and occasion wear.

@waltzingparrot thank you souch for that link x
It actually brought tears to my eyes .
It has really helped what I need to help her with .

You have actually all really helped me .

I am now looking forward to my shopping day out with my mum.

I have some good ideas .

And she is always up for a pub
refreshing ☺️☺️