Tried to embrace the grey and am struggling, but allergic to hair dyes.. help please!

[PaulineFowlersCardigan]

I’ve been getting more and more grey (in my mid brown hair) and it’s now a pretty even mix. It’s not the soft lovely grey I see people with, it’s the full on wiry sort. I’m allergic to hair dyes, and don’t like the block colour of henna.
I tried to make myself feel less ‘witchy’ by cutting my hair to my shoulders.. now I look like a frizzy Wendolene from Wallace and Gromit!

I’m already feeling awful about myself, I’m 45, 5ft 2, hitting the meno since a partial hysterectomy 2yrs ago, a good 3 stone overweight (maybe 4), and just feel so awful when I look in the mirror. I don’t recognise myself at all.
I tried to embrace the ‘natural’ me. But I feel fat, sad and past it, any ideas please?

I make a tea up to colour my hair. Brew it up in a teapot until it is cool enough to pour over clean dry hair. Then just comb through and leave it in. I use a mixture of a tiny bit of turmeric (very potent), camomile tea, redbush tea and instant coffee to turn my greys a golden blonde colour. Very easy to do a strand test to see if the colour is one which you like. My hair has a large amount of grey in but just looks blonde doing this.

And it is quite transparent. The lighter and darker tones still show through.

I am also allergic to all hair dye and I really have tried them all.

I don't anymore but used to get foils to blend the grey, they were fine as nothing touched my scalp and the hairdresser was always really careful to not getting anything on me.

Ohhh will have to try that! Does it wash out quickly??
sorry to hijack the thread

I was going to suggest bleach. Can you have some highlights? Moroccan Oil is good for frizz. Just a dot.

Menopause has a lot to anser for !

My hair is going grey , I've resisted going back to dye as I really CBA and I think it'll look horribly fake now I'm use to the lighter tones .
Mine is past mu shoulders and the word that comes to mind when it's loose (especially before I comb it ) is Witchey

I need to do a complete overhaul , I was on holiday and kept catching sight of this woman in the mirror before the shock hit that it was Me

I've tried Olaplex (meh)
Cannot use coconut oil it irriates my scalp .
I use some Superdrug Argan pre wash or some PK Elasticiser if I have it .
There's a glossing lotion called "Glaze" hairgloss (bought it from Superdrug) which does help with shine ( I bought the Clear one )

I don't wear make up to work . Outside of work I do wear some it makes a difference ( not much , mainly curl eyelashes , mascara , tight line and brow gloss )

Keep experimenting with henna and do a coat of indigo and alma powder AFTER you dye and dry with henna. This will make it go dark instead of red.

I'm allergic to haridye too and I hate the look of grey hair on me. Naturally I have dark brown hair, so I just kept experimenting with different mixtures to get to that colour - It's a faff, admittedly.

OR, if you find a willing hairdressers, they can dye your hair entirely in foils, avoiding any skin contact, though I wouldn't do this if you're ultra headswelling type allergic.

Last option is go blonde with bleach, assuming it's ppd your allergic to.

I got mine all chopped into a very short pixie. Less grey to worry about!

Ohhh will have to try that! Does it wash out quickly??
sorry to hijack the thread

@Littlemissprosecco, it has staying power. I put some in every other wash, it only seems to fade slightly so can miss doing it if I'm busy. It's no bother as not very messy. Washes out of the sink ok too,

Firstly I know how you feel. 50 and just coming out of this phase. Are you on HRT? It improved my hair enormously (and a whole load of other issues) and now I just use a lanolin based conditioner. It's back to good condition.

Other suggestions I have seen on a Facebook group for going grey are things like apple cider vinegar in the hair, drinking more water and a weekly conditioner treatment. Also pixie cuts seem popular on that page.

I've embraced the grey what I didn't embrace was my menopausal expanding body. I've addressed that because it was making me feel uncomfortable, but that's a really personal choice and decision.

@hihellohihello I’ve never heard of that, will definitely give it a try, Thankyou
@nearlyspringyay @Thehonestybox I had that done successfully a couple of times, then suddenly even the washing it out made my scalp burn and my eyes start to puff, it’s made me far too scared to chance it again!

I had a few highlights just after, the trouble is I am so grey now that the overall look is very light, and it doesn’t look great with my skin tone.
the funny thing is the grey itself suits me ok colour wise, it’s just the texture and having to straighten it every day I think.

@Bathroom2022 sorry that last reply was for you!
@70isaLimitNotaTarget yes that’s Exactly how I’m feeling, like ‘is that me?’ anytime I glimpse my reflection. Thankyou though, I’ll try those bits
@jeaux90 Yes I really am trying to sort that out too, so uncomfortable in my own skin, but finding it hard to lose a pound now, whereas 10yrs ago I would drop 5lbs in a week!
@Thehonestybox I will try with the henna too, Thankyou.
It’s so hard, I’ve never felt great about myself, but up until 5yrs ago I was very slim and very fit. Health problems and youngest child with asd has just seen me disappearing I think.

@EvilEdna1 i have really thought about it, but I’m so unhappy with face and size atm, I don’t relish the idea of it being so ‘on show!’
Thankyou for all the replies x

Invest in some really good haircare. Kerastase do an excellent range for frizzy hair. Don't scrimp, get a good shampoo, conditioner and an oil, possibly a smoothing cream for blow drying. If you can improve the texture that might help you to feel better about it?
Are you allergic to even direct deposit dyes? As in the ones that are like a colour conditioner? I'm allergic to permanent hair dye, but fine with these. It wouldn't cover your grey completely but might help? Revlon nutri color is a good one.

Have you heard of goldwell elumen, it works very differently to normal hairdyes and it definitely does have its limitations but it’s the only thing you can use if it’s a. Ppd allergy. I can’t even use purple shampoo etc but fine with elumen. Lots of info on Facebook allergy sites. You can Google salon finder for ones that use alumen x

I was determined to leave my greys alone as they grew in, but they’ve come in in two small patches and so I cracked in March and got a salon “glossing treatment”, which is like a shiny transluscent temporary colour. I just used an at home version for the first time last week (Wella Color fresh mask) and it’s come out really well. It just blends it a bit with a wash of colour.

Use blue hair shampoo and wash less often shoulder length hair mine looked witchy when longer it's much improved. I had some balyage as the grey grew out

Yup, short is the way to go. Here's me- 50 and going with the grey. I've found a brighter lippy makes all the difference.

I know you can't see the lippy😅but I'm quite distinctive looking, so that's my attempt at disguise 😅

@Ginandslippers i think I def need to up my hair are game, I’ve not tried the direct deposit types, I’ll look into it Thankyou
@Helpwithbills I’ve never heard of that but I’m going to Google it right now!
@Sortilege I can’t use temp dyes either so not sure this would be an option, I’ll have a look though
@justasking111 ive tried one purple shampoo and didn’t love it, but maybe I need to try some different ones
@Puffalicious you look fabulous! I wish I could carry that off! Maybe when I’ve done some more work on myself!

So Many good ideas, Thankyou, going to try it all.
I hope I’ve answered everyone as I’ve never started a thread before!

Nonsense OP, you just need some work on your confidence. You can carry off whatever you like. And remember, your sparkling personality will Shone through any hair-cut.

Have you seen what dawn Franch has done to her hair now? Gone grey with a quiff. Looks really great

Ahh @PaulineFowlersCardigan.

It's not the colour then, it's the texture!

I've learnt how to treat textured grey hair. It has been a learning curve.

I can help you though!

(I am older then you btw).