What are your “aspirational” items?

[Mrcpy]

This question is a little tongue in cheek, but I’m genuinely interested in what you think.

I’m a professional in my mid-30’s. Obviously I’ve been aware that some people like luxury things, but somehow felt myself to be “above” fashion, and very happy with my £30 M&S crossbody etc.

Recently I’ve started upgrading my wardrobe and reading about fashion. I’m getting the impression that there are certain items which show that you’ve MADE IT IN LIFE.

So these are the ones that keep coming up:

• Mulberry Bayswater


• Cartier Ballon Bleu / Tank


• Hermes Birkin / Kelly


• Hermes silk scarves


• Chanel classic flap


• Burberry trench coat


• Van Cleef Alhambra bracelet


• Cartier love bracelet

Do you agree/disagree? Have I missed anything?

Just to clarify, this is just a list (for fun) of things that tend to be described as “classic”, “investment pieces” and “everyone should have a…”. My own wishlist is a lot shorter. The bracelets are not to my taste and I’ve gone off Mulberry. One day I hope to buy a Chanel classic flap and maybe a silk scarf or two.

(Namechanged as I may have outed myself on another thread. Been a member for years.)

My aspirational item is a diamond ring above 1ct.

I have a bayswater and hardly use it as its too heavy. I use pliages everyday instead.

I would love a gucci soho bag but can't justify the cost at the moment.

I had to google basically everything on that list because I'd never heard of any of it. I don't like a single one of those items, they all look really dated and kinda boring.

For me, its less about a checklist of specific items that show you've 'made it'. It's more about having the financial freedom to opt for any version of whatever item you want. For example: If someone wants new gym clothes, they'd have 'made it' in my mind when they don't have to buy 2 for £5 gym vests at Primark but have the freedom to buy one for £65 from Sweaty Betty, or a £50 DKNY one, or a £25 Adidas one. They might still buy the cheapo Primark set, or they might go for one of the more expensive options. The point is that they have the choice.

I think people who buy materialistic things to make them look like they've "Made it in life" are usually very pretentious and annoying people, in my experience anyway. It's usually mega cringe. Keep it real, OP, there is nothing wrong with M&S and next. Nobody ever lays on their death bed and talks about how much money they've made in life. You can't take it all with you when you die

When I was younger I was quite brand oriented but now when I can afford them I have no interest. Don't get me wrong I'm not buying from Tu and I will spend 300 on a bag but not 13,000 like a vintage Mulberry I saw yesterday in a store. So many of these things have been copied to death. I use them - I dont "wear them" 😂 I don't understand why people put themselves in debt or spend these amounts on things which are not outstanding. There is a technician in my nail spa who does this. Things don't bring me the feeling I have made it in life - it's all about people and experiences.

On reflection, I spend the price of a hermes scarf each month on doggy day care+dog insurance and I could have had a chanel handbag for the price ddog cost me as a puppy. Safe to say many more stylish types would say I've got my priorities all wrong !

I felt like a proper grown up the first time I bought a real painting instead of a print. I know this is a fashion thread but I expect the feeling is the same. It’s about being able to have the real thing, not a high street alternative.

I’m now looking forward to buying my first real painting 😊

I think social media and influencers have definitely killed off the ‘Aspirational’ part of designer stuff.

it’s ridiculous that i see so many young girls with chanel bags now ( yes they are all 100% real) they literally put themselves in debt to potray that ‘made it’ image.

so as nice as that stuff is its not really a status thing anymore.

even Birkin is losing its thing now with nearly every bigger influencer with one.

i have a few stuff from that list but i dont use them atm as social media has really put me off them.

there are a few things that i do want because i know they will be used forever and dont scream ‘designer’

1. manolo blahnik shoes- had the carrie shoes for my wedding and they were sooo comfy so i would like a plain pair and a pair of flats
2. possible a burberrh trench but i still bave flashbacks of daniella westbrook so thag desire comes and goes 🤣
3. gucci loafers

Isn’t tasteless materialism out of style?

It all sound a bit tragic really, to want to show you’ve ‘made it’

I'm vegan so don't like leather or anything. I do occasionally wear secondhand silk, but don't buy new or wear any actual animal skins - probably a good thing for my budget! There aren't exactly specific items that I associate with having made it, so much as being free to choose really nice, high quality items and not 'make do'.

I try not to buy a lot of wool, but apart from that we are very similar! I do have some preferred brands of course, but not usually aggressively 'designer' things.

The Aspinal London bag 😍

Hand made shoes, tailored to my foot, I think. I am imagining they would be both extremely stylish and comfortable.

KimikosNightmare
I bet they are beautifully made but they are a bit frumpy

@interest12
Isn’t tasteless materialism out of style?

Not for me - having become aware of it only recently, it still feels fresh!

But I can already feel the excitement fading away, with every reply to this thread…

A lot of those things seem dated to me.

I'm not well off and not overly interested in a desperate longing to prove I in fact am because I own overpriced designer goods. I think there's something a little embarrassing about the thought of proudly toting a mulberry bag around when my terraced house is a mess and my jeans are Primark.

Genuinely well off people I know don't tote these things around to prove whatever it proves, I'd actually say it's more the 'normal' earners who get a kick out of owning and wearing a chanel bag at every opportunity at odds with the rest of their presentation. In that scenario I think these ubiquitous bags often look like they would be fakes, but it's true some of them are nice. Just not overly bothered personally I suppose, I'd rather put my money elsewhere and not into my insecurity or class anxiety.

Not for me - having become aware of it only recently, it still feels fresh!

That made me snort. Ignore the rude posters, let them wallow in their own self righteousness. This is style and beauty, and it's a really interesting thread.

But as we're going down the moral high horse route, for me, having "made it" by being able to buy the material things I want, isn't "tasteless materialism" it's a reminder every time I look at those things that I'm no longer in the hellhole slum (not UK) I grew up in, without enough food or clothes that weren't rags, unless of course you were prepared to do something unsavory to get more. And there were always so many men ready to take advantage of the poverty and starvation.

It's a reminder that I was lucky enough to get out of that (and getting out came at a steep price) and be able to give my DC a better life. I'm not going to go in the finer specifics of what it was like, but it was hell on earth, I have had many years (decades actually) of therapy but still have ptsd and nightmares.

I suspect there are a lot of posters like myself who grew up in poverty and abusive situations and find comfort in being able to buy things they want for similar reasons to mine.

Rant over, back to less depressing thoughts!

Why do you think they would say that? I certainly would not.

I'm not reading "to show you've made it" to mean in a public sense but as a private sense of satisfaction.

I’m so sorry that happened to you 🙁
Enjoy your lovely things!!!

@KimikosNightmare
I'm not reading "to show you've made it" to mean in a public sense but as a private sense of satisfaction.

That’s how I feel about it too.

I think they are very feminine and ladylike but my opinion has no more weight than yours.

Whilst I absolutely abhor and reject the concept of "modest" clothing and the mindset that thinks women should dress "modestly" my own preferences are demure 1950s and Quakerish dresses.

I'm really sorry if I was one of the people who added to that, @Mrcpy - I genuinely only meant my comments in the spirit of 'this is my own weird take on the topic'. I think many people do see the things you listed as signifiers of having made it!

My aspirational "items" are watching my bankaccount grow from all the money I don't spend on beauty-products. It's enjoying the space on my shelves that aren't cluttered up for toxic products that harm me.

I am done wasting my health and my time and my money on something that for the solely benefit of useless men.

Not at all 😆please don’t worry
I've only spent money on fairly sensible things so far - a Longines watch, a couple of Coach bags, a Hobbs trench. It’s good for me to read the replies to this thread before I drop serious £££ on things I’ll regret in a few months.

I think it’s really funny that a post, above, starts with this:

let them wallow in their own self righteousness.

then goes on to say this:

But as we're going down the moral high horse route, for me, having "made it" by being able to buy the material things I want, isn't "tasteless materialism" it's a reminder every time I look at those things that I'm no longer in the hellhole slum (not UK) I grew up in, without enough food or clothes that weren't rags, unless of course you were prepared to do something unsavory to get more. And there were always so many men ready to take advantage of the poverty and starvation.

no self-righteousness here, eh?