I don’t know what to wear, I don’t like how I look

[Imherenowandthen]

I’m a size 16, large chest and no waist, post menopause. I tend to wear leggings/jeggings with long tops, but just look huge really. It’s getting me down. I’ve no idea what to wear. Anything tight emphasises all my bulges. I’d like to look as if I have a waist but find shapewear incredibly uncomfortable and it always rolls down. I also find jeans uncomfortable.

Anyone of similar size and shape have any advice?

I know losing weight should help but I’m sure I’d still have no waist and I’m finding it very difficult at present as I can’t exercise much due to a lot of joint pain.

I’m on a very low budget, we’re talking eBay or supermarkets, shopping online only. I’ve no primark nearby.

I’ve tried looking at blogs/Instagram, but don’t like the style of most. I only wear casual clothing and no polyester due to skin problems.

Bump

Hello, here's a link for a guide on how to dress for an apple body shape which sounds like what you have:
theconceptwardrobe.com/build-a-wardrobe/apple-body-shape
I find that black is very slimming and then just really glam up with accessories. Depending on your colourings navy might be a better option if you have both fair skin and fair hair.
Bigger, bright accessories like belts, handbags, chunky (not tiny, delicate) shoes and necklaces will shrink you. Looking good is all about finishing touches so make sure your hair is freshly washed and styled, nails are at least painted clear and short. Bit of makeup... voilà! Xx

The problem with the go-to casual uniform of leggings and long top is that it's the least flattering but is what we reach for when we're feeling fat and want to cover up. You may find wearing dresses more flattering and comfortable than tops and jeans, then you can make the look/feel casual by wearing, say, trainers and a denim jacket etc. Agree with PP that, when losing weight (which is primarily diet rather than exercise) is not easy, looking after your hair, skin, nails etc. can help a lot. Agree with you on the shape underwear rolling and being really uncomfortable - good bras are definitely worth the investment though.

I have a Nalani Eco Vero from Weird fish, I'm a similar shape to you but as it runs small I bought 2 sizes up, soooooo flattering and comfy

I think things that skim really help. I wear shirt dresses undone, over leggings or magic trousers. Looser blouses half tucked or worn open over a longline vest.
T-shirt dresses that are slightly A line - the Next one is gorgeous on.

https://www.reserved.com/gb/en/3875p-99x/sukienka-k-re?algoliaqueryy_id=3362ff31518a667f1e0672ed7f86b8eb

https://www.next.co.uk/style/st701904/a07019?dp=a&gclid=CjwKCAjw9qiTBhBbEiwAp-GE0WRDyNPLl0ElVbigVSWcwj6cIQ4hLQ46AeyHnyOGCoYrFAtG8YfiBoCmpQQAvDD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds#a07019

https://manamou.co.uk/products/bobbie-broderie-shirt-green?pos=6&&sid=fa8363359&ss=r&variant=39793958027337

Thank you, I’ll have a look!

Have a look at peplum style dresses. I'm of a similar build.

I think my bras are quite well fitting, I was measured at Bravissimo.

I do like dresses, but unsure what style to wear. I like converse for example with dresses, but they’re too narrow for my feet and hurt.

I’m unsure about the links, although I like the Next dress.

Cariuma are by far the most comfortable trainers I've ever had... but they're not cheap and you said you're on a tight budget. But a pair of trainers that work for you and that Next dress that you said you liked would be a good start to get you out of the leggings/long top uniform as summer apporaches.

Are there any online images of women with a similar height/shape to you wearing things you like?

I haven’t really found any, no. If I search for plus size women they’re usually wearing something I wouldn’t wear.

I like these styles.

If you like the Next dress, Shein has quite a lot of longer length plus-size dresses that are quite cheap and in lots of different styles.

(Sometimes the material is quite thin so I bought a slip to wear underneath; also don’t tumble dry any of their stuff!)

Thank you, I’ll have a look. I’ve never ordered from Shein .

Check out thrift/charity shops for different dress styles to try out on a budget. You can pick up some quality pieces for great prices.

Weirdly i am you, yet i am average height and very slim.
I dont like any current fashions and can never find anything that makes me feek good in the shops.

I also relate to your style pics above, i love a nice, well made long cardi over slimmer fitted things.

I can't offer an answer as i am on that journey myself, so god knows how to advise someone of a different shape. I think the utter shit in the high street shops has more to do with it than our bodies. If we dont wish to conform to current norms.

Sorry, you said in your original post that you didn't like jeans so I avoided them, but both of your pictures include denim. Maybe try to buy very stretchy denim in a bigger size? M & S have a great range of jeans at about the £20 mark, but size up so they're comfortable. As for the denim skirt, again size up and buy a longer one, then cut it down to a length that suits you. The problem I see with the cardigans is if they aren't polyester or a man made fabric, they'll be wool and expensive or possibly itchy? Would you not wear a cotton long overshirt as an alternative to the cardigan? I don't find converse comfortable either, I wear plain white trainers, mine are fitflop but you can get cheaper alternatives....

https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-drama-trainers-in-white/prd/23587947?affid=25888&CjwKCAjw9qiTBhBbEiwAp-GE0XinA8tGtSPc2VmKmFUqzUFPEvfiCM4y20aD9XkyUffpSQfJeUgl7RoCtQIQAvDDBwE&channelref=product+search&ppcadref=12029787983%7C117574734673%7Cpla-361282089597&gbraid=0AAAAADqFjOB4HlTciPytu0-CZ1Dht9u-n&gbraid=0AAAAADqFjOB4HlTciPytu0-CZ1Dht9u-n&gclid=CjwKCAjw9qiTBhBbEiwAp-GE0XinA8tGtSPc2VmKmFUqzUFPEvfiCM4y20aD9XkyUffpSQfJeUgl7RoCtQIQAvDBwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

These grey jeans are really comfortable especially if you go one size up and the denim tube skirt is very stretchy....both are under £25. I've tried to find you a maxi cardigan but all the budget ones seem to contain some degree of polyester, so perhaps a cotton kimono or long shirt? H & M do a black denim one which is 100% cotton.....
https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwiehdGurj3AhWI0-0KHeBADkAYABAaGgJkZw&ae=2&ohost=www.google.co.uk&cid=CAESauD2iCmgrk9bhI--P-8RKtFlsjDlFvtaGdvKkT-Ct--JTS-3j8fEXhOP77wBKhdgW8mKIdoiaDaB2HB5p0fQajkRKaDzDSihW0irY7vbGgQ2b2P48HT7n7CWgbZRhPpiRtPwV6BjX5Z8Bw&sig=AOD6442ppNI2uW1XIqCX2KbuOSfmj4kHA&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwiM6cee_urj3AhWSQEEAHTMHC8sQwg8oAHoECAEQag&adurl=

OP, sorry - just seen that you can’t wear Polyester - Shein is probably not for you then!

I do like dresses, but unsure what style to wear. I like converse for example with dresses, but they’re too narrow for my feet and hurt.

If you buy mens converses they're wider, and they do from size 3 upwards.

I have both fabric and leather converse, the leather ones are wider and so much more comfortable.

Thank you, I did not know that!

Mens Converse are great and you can find them new on eBay. Nectar are offering bonus points on a £10 spend via eBay this weekend too.

That Next dress is super.

I have to say @GreenClock the Next dress is gorgeous, I bought it in khaki and navy - one I wear with a camo jacket, the other with a denim jacket. They have pockets but do come up quite long, I'm 5'6 and bought a petite, still comes to mid calf! The fabric is heavy, so they drape really well and so comfortable, I'm going to travel in mine when I go away.

I think that long cardigans (fine knit), casual blazers etc really help create a shape and look slimming. I would agree with layering thin clothes for this. Do you follow anyone on insta? There are some great fashion accounts with apple type shapes

Also it’s about how you style things - belts, tucking in tops etc. If I’m not sure I take a photo of myself in an outfit and that helps! I often see a waist bulge I don’t seem to be able to see in the mirror