Help me find COMFORTABLE non-frumpy shoes that go with dresses

[Salisburyspire]

I am about to start a new role - semi-corporate but also arms-length public sector. I will be working with a chief exec as well as creative types.
I am pretty huge so my staple wardrobe is Boden dresses (some wrap, but some structured A-line ones). I had a social lunch yesterday and trialled one of my dresses with my usual pair of Clark's boots (not much of a heel, usually comfortable). Dear reader, I was in agony by the time I got home. I am so used to wearing trainers. I cannot wear heels due to age and weight. Also I have huge legs so ankle boots outside of the winter season when I can make my legs blend in with dark tights that match the boots are going to be problematic. What flat (but padded sole) shoes can you help me find? Trainers I fear will be too casual. Are there are other shoes that go with dresses that are not boots or heels? I quite like platform type leather sneakers in black leather with a white sole but are these too casual? My usual staple is black but will consider a navy pair to go with blue dresses too...

• * [Thread title edited by MNHQ] **

www.deichmann.com/en-gb/p-m01972403/01972403

something like a suede loafer?

Crass? Is it your fear of ageing and death that makes you say that?

WTAF?

You were the one going on about ageing and death.

Everyone else thinks this about taste in shoes.

Plenty of people don't care about being stylish, though those people may not be on Style and Beauty

And those people don’t care about whether the shoes they wear will make them look like their child has given birth to a child or adopted one.

Some lovely, stylish, comfortable options linked to on here OP that will work well in a semi-formal work environment which is what you were after.

Forgive me but, when you're posting on a style and beauty forum about how your shoes might make you look older, and you're talking about grannies as if they're some amorphous group who all look the same, and then when called out on it, you start blustering that you're not talking about style at all but fear of death, then to be honest, I start trying to remember how to spell disingenuous. But do have a nice day.

The fitflop trainers are fine, no one will be looking that closely.

This pressure women are under and also put on themselves to be both great at their job and look ten years younger and look interesting needs to be challenged.

Youa re goingt o work to do an amazing job. Focus on that and buy something comfy, tidy and unremarkable.

@SirChenjins

Most women want to look stylish - not older, younger or anything in between.

Not sure about 'most' women - many women do not give a shit and live wonderfully successful and happy lives in boring, frumpy or ordinary clothes.

Hogan ballet flats are really well made and comfy. I think they are suitable for work.

www.theoutnet.com/en-gb/shop/product/hogan/flat-shoes/ballet-flats/snake-print-suede-ballet-flats/16114163150439796?gbraid=0AAAAADRhcD3io0FYxMddozc03hnRKpcOY&gbraid=0AAAAADRhcD3io0FYxMddozc03hnRKpcOY&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIocPokNrW9gIVCe3tCh2b2gunEAQYCCABEgKPNPD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

I also like Lacoste little white pumps.

Not sure about 'most' women - many women do not give a shit and live wonderfully successful and happy lives in boring, frumpy or ordinary clothes

I completely agree - my post was in response to the claim that most women don't want to look older - although quite how particular brands of shoes have the very specific ability to identify you as a person who's child has had/adopted a child is a complete mystery, but it's reassuring to know that the next time I see a woman in a pair of Hotters I will know for absolute certain she is a granny. Remarkable!

@Floisme

Forgive me but, when you're posting on a style and beauty forum about how your shoes might make you look older, and you're talking about grannies as if they're some amorphous group who all look the same, and then when called out on it, you start blustering that you're not talking about style at all but fear of death, then to be honest, I start trying to remember how to spell disingenuous. But do have a nice day.

Quite.

While the little spat rumbles on in the corner, I can confirm that as I've got older (70 this year) the comfort of my feet is the first thing I decide on when planning an outfit now. In my 30s/40s I wore court shoes with a 2" heel with flesh-coloured tights and a knee-length skirt every day to work, as did most of the other women there. My older, more sensitive feet would die if I even looked at a pair now so comfortable flats with a padded insole do the trick. I listen to my feet every day and if that makes me older than my age or unfashionable then I'm not bothered.

Fit flops do some nice styles that are really comfortable. I also have wide feet and chunky legs so it's not easy to find something good.

I came on here to recommend Vivaia shoes

www.vivaiacollection.com/

Discovered them after they were contextually advertised to me on Instagram (I assume because I follow the hashtag #widefitshoes 😁)

I have ridiculous wide ducks feet with high instep. Finding shoes is a nightmare

These are ace - and I'm always getting complimented on them at work.

They're smart, and work with work-y dresses and jeans alike. A couple of the styles are a bit but many are stylish I think.

They're super comfy - they're a knitted fabric made of recycled plastic bottles but by some sort of magic they don't make my feet sweat when wearing without socks (and I can never usually wear closed shoes without socks). They have a thick bouncy latex insole so they don't kill your heels like many ballet flats which have paper thin soles. They did rub the first few times I wore them but they loosened up quickly. Slight downside: they've continued to relax so are now a bit big if anything. I'm hoping that a wash will tighten them up like jeans! But haven't got round to it so can't verify. Oh, yes, they're machine washable too. So: loads to love.

The MASSIVE downside is that they ship from China but the returns are not free and they have to go to the US. It cost me £20+ to return three pairs first time I ordered. Which is madness. But I liked them enough to grit my teeth and order the next size up which did fit, and I'm glad I did.

I have these three which work with almost all my work clothes between them but am eyeing other shades and colours.

www.vivaiacollection.com/item/deep-ebony-p_1563.html

www.vivaiacollection.com/item/cornflower-ocean-p_1723.html

www.vivaiacollection.com/item/teal-green-p_1989.html

@nancy75

I think maybe brogues with a dress? I find footwear for dresses difficult - boots are good in winter and sandals look great in summer, it's the in between shoes I struggle with

I agree. I don't think brogues are great, and definitely not trainers! It needs to be ankle boots in winter and sandals the rest of the year. Ideally sandals with a slight heel / wedge / defined gap between heel and sole so they don't look too casual? This sort of thing......

www.pavers.co.uk/products/wide-fit-buckle-fastening-sandals-centr31065-317-460

You could also get some closed-toe ones so not too summery?

The Pavers look great (thought the description said 'stroppy sandal' 😊)

@nancy75 - same here, ideally I would go straight from boots to sandals but the British climate has other ideas. Not sure why shoes are so difficult!

@carefullycourageous

The fitflop trainers are fine, no one will be looking that closely.

This pressure women are under and also put on themselves to be both great at their job and look ten years younger and look interesting needs to be challenged.

Youa re goingt o work to do an amazing job. Focus on that and buy something comfy, tidy and unremarkable.

I agree there is pressure but equally, surely it’s OK and possible to be professional and dedicated at work and take an interest in nice clothes and footwear!

Comfy, tidy and unremarkable sums up MN S&B though. How dare anyone want to look anything other than this.

"It needs to be ankle boots in winter and sandals the rest of the year. "

It has to be around 27 degrees for me to wear sandals and it's hardly ever that temperature all day so can you suggest something for me when it's too warm for ankle boots and not hot enough for me to be in sandals. In the summer I wear pumps, but even they would be too cold until it's properly warm.

I can't wear sandals to work - open toes not advisable. And it's so hard to get decent sandals with a closed toe.

You need some Toni Pons in your life - really really comfortable and perfect with dresses..

tonipons.com/en_uk/espadrilles-women-erla-a-black.html

I can't believe how ageist some of these comments have been. You know what? When you get older, your feet hurt! When you get older, which you will, you too will be subject to these ageist comments, because old age comes to us all, so all you are doing, is hurting your future self by perpetuating these negative judgements. Just stop it.