Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

I can’t stop shopping 😩

27 replies

Bubblefairy85 · 08/03/2022 22:28

I think it might be linked to my mental health.
Also I just really really really like clothes. There are so many lovely clothes out there. Shoes. Bags. But I need to stop!
Or - at least buy more cheaply.
I’ve just bought the most beautiful jacket. But I didn’t really need it!

OP posts:

GinandGobbledegook · 08/03/2022 22:34

I'm exactly the same. I switched to vinted to save money but it's an addiction and I spend just as much 😔 😔

Original poster

Bubblefairy85 · 08/03/2022 22:53

I’ve also lost hours on vinted 😩
It seems cheaper but not if you buy masses of it. Also cannot return things so sometimes false economy.

OP posts:

DSGR · 08/03/2022 22:54

Can you set yourself a monthly spend budget.. and don’t go over it!

mdinbc · 08/03/2022 23:03

If your shopping habits creep into other areas of your life, then you need to look at changing some habits. Are you going over budget so much that your basic costs aren't being paid? Are you going into debt?
Is it affecting your relationships or physically impacting your space (are you starting to hoard)?

If you can say yes to any of above, try to get some help. If not, then go ahead and enjoy. I have way too many jackets compared to my needs, but other than getting a frown from DH, I'm not feeling guilty. I recently bought a nice new spring jacket as well.

VerityPJohnson · 09/03/2022 10:18

I think it’s pretty tough in our society as newness is valued above else. Celebrities would be judged if they showed up in the same outfit twice. Retailers and advertisers make you think you need something new all the time and fast fashion means there is always something new to buy or try.

Things I’ve tried are shopping my wardrobe as if you have a lot of clothes there are a lot of permutations in the way they can be worn, this time of year when the weather is changeable is good for this as you can wear heavier things with lighter things. Also looking at items that don’t quite work and customising them, eg shortening them or dyeing them so it feels you have something new.

Squiblet · 09/03/2022 10:37

Humans are natural hunter-gatherers, so it's not surprising that we find it so satisfying to track down the perfect thing and obtain it for ourselves. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Maybe you can channel this energy into something else - something that gives you a similar sense of achievement? Take a course that lets you acquire new skills or create new projects? Volunteer for a cause that you care about?

DSGR · 09/03/2022 10:39

Also, are you bored? I shop from boredom sometimes and it’s a killer. Channel the energy into other things?

HeadingForHome · 09/03/2022 10:50

I'm exactly the same. I tried to give up shopping for Lent. One week in and I've cracked twice already. I shop mostly for the kids but also for myself. I buy 2nd hand and in the sales in an attempt to feel like it's not so bad but it's absolutely ridiculous.

The irony is I then stress about how much stuff we have, try to declutter constantly, lie awake at night worrying about the state of the planet etc... Absolutely ridiculous cognitive dissonance.

I've been selling stuff on Vinted for a few months now, have sold thousands of pounds 'worth' of clothes, hardly worn, for a few pounds each. It's hammered home how bad the situation is. I need to change.

ArabeI · 09/03/2022 11:28

I didn't spend much on clothes and shoes a year ago, but now don't seem able to stop. I even have a list! I also use Vinted for vintage and have bought some lovely things.

Lots are still unworn in the wardrobe, but I'm sure I'll wear them at some point. I plan a wardrobe cull I think, and a much revised and reduced list. I don't really need anything.

beguilingeyes · 09/03/2022 11:34

I shop on ebay these days, so total bargains..but I'm an addict. I have way too many clothes and nowhere really to wear them.

Boood · 09/03/2022 11:38

Where are you seeing all these lovely clothes? It’s been ages since I had that problem!

standupsitdownturnaround · 09/03/2022 15:43

Same here OP. It's boredom and depression. It's an easy way to feel like I'm improving myself. Leads to self hatred tho.... if you find a solution do share!

dontgobaconmyheart · 09/03/2022 16:39

I never see anything I like that much, which helps. As does being realistic about my lifestyle vs the fictional person I used to seem think I was who had an entirely different life to me, when I made clothing purchases.

Working out the actual cost per wear of my wardrobe also offered perspective, as did regular clean outs where anything I hadn't worn that wasn't actually useful (eg keeping a pair of wellies, a proper waterproof coat, suitable funeral attire) got given away.

I think it's helpful to think about exactly what makes you feel good about buying something new, what exactly is that boost on a deeper level and is it really a positive thing or is it actually about self esteem or something you want in life that you don't currently have etc. Perhaps write it all down and try to work out the cycle.

Just because something is beautiful or 'you' or a bargain or looks great on you or anything else, doesn't mean you need to own it or take it home, it won't ultimately change anything other than your bank balance.

SandrasAnnoyingFriend · 09/03/2022 16:41

I am you, you are me.
I'd been quite good this month, so I treated myself to some bits on sunday and spent several hundred pounds in the blink of an eye.

Speckled1010 · 09/03/2022 20:06

I am exactly the same. I'm always looking for new clothes in Vinted. I have wasted so many hours on there. I think it's due to boredom mostly. Also, when I see some cosmetics and toiletries which are discounted to a really cheap price, I always far to much and end up stocking up for about 3 years. Ironically though I try to be a minimalist and not buy too much stuff because I hate clutter. I have now tried to limit myself to buying one item of clothing per month and doing a no spend month.

Darklane · 09/03/2022 20:58

This book is very good
Book

Gonnagetgoing · 09/03/2022 21:48

I’m you. I really need to stop and save more! I buy to cheer me up!

Gonnagetgoing · 09/03/2022 21:49

@Darklane

This book is very good ]]

I did have that book, it did help a bit. Maybe I’ll get it again.

Gonnagetgoing · 09/03/2022 21:50

I know when I was much younger and couldn’t get eg credit I’d shop far less and think about purchases more. I’m seriously thinking about a support group for shopping addiction.

MadeinSW3 · 09/03/2022 22:12

Ditto! Life is too short

HeadingForHome · 10/03/2022 06:55

Mine is definitely linked to money on some level. I grew up in a large family and didn't have much of my own, there wasn't a lot of spare cash and although I was happy enough I really coveted new clothes and new stuff that would be just mine.

A lot of what I buy now is stuff for the kids but it's never the stuff I like the best, it's always the stuff in the sales or that's a bargain. Even though I'm now (in relative terms) pretty well off, and could afford to buy anything full price.

I feel like a lot of that is at the root of it.

HeadingForHome · 10/03/2022 06:56

Also boredom... going to try to read a book instead of scrolling 'bargains'

Pigtailsandall · 10/03/2022 08:17

Do you shop online or in person? In either case, might be useful to unsubscribe from tempting email lists (especially sale emails), and deleting your vinted/other shopping apps.its just that little bit harder to shop when you need to log in through a browser.
What triggers you to shop? Is it doom scrolling or just feeling bored? When I was shopping a lot, I made myself do ten pushups everytime I felt like googling something/looking at an online store. It didn't always help, but diverting your attention to something different can be useful.
Dont take your phone to bed, read a book instead. Put your phone far away from the bed too so you're not tempted to grab it for a quick scroll

standupsitdownturnaround · 10/03/2022 08:23

@Pigtailsandall

Do you shop online or in person? In either case, might be useful to unsubscribe from tempting email lists (especially sale emails), and deleting your vinted/other shopping apps.its just that little bit harder to shop when you need to log in through a browser. What triggers you to shop? Is it doom scrolling or just feeling bored? When I was shopping a lot, I made myself do ten pushups everytime I felt like googling something/looking at an online store. It didn't always help, but diverting your attention to something different can be useful. Dont take your phone to bed, read a book instead. Put your phone far away from the bed too so you're not tempted to grab it for a quick scroll

These are great tips, thank you.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 10/03/2022 09:40

How much of a problem is it? I mean, can you afford it? Are you broke by the end of the month/have no savings/have debt etc? Because if you can afford it and it's just what you like to spend your money on, then that's up to you.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread