How can you tell if something doesn't suit you?

[musicforsmorks]

This sounds like a silly question, but sometimes I truly do not know!

I know what I like, and I have a good eye for things (I'm a painter and designer) but I do wonder how we really figure it out - is it just a sort of intuition thing where we can immediately see it in the mirror, or could our confidence (or lack of) get in the way of a truly objective judgement?

Would love to hear thoughts on this.
For example I like wide leg linen trousers, love the way they look on others. I am slim, in proportion (whatever all that means!) and can generally get away with most things - but I really don't feel like they work on me, as if the silhouette knocks my entire look......just 'off'.
Hard to explain!
I think I suit flowy things, delicate and subtle, and maybe wide leg shapes are just too blocky for me.

But so many people in S&B go on and on about being thin making everything work, and it simply doesn't! So how do you determine what suits? Often I think we get used to a certain way of dressing and are afraid to try something new that might suit us more. Sometimes we put ourselves down and pick on perceived flaws.
Perhaps if you have got to your mid 40's and never wear a certain style, you might just know it isnt for you!

Navel gazing alert

When I was thinner I couldn't wear anything low cut due to my bony chest bone, so thinner isn't everything.
Photos help me - what I see in the mirror isn't always how my outfits look in a photo or god forbid a video.
It does help to remember that a) I'm working from how 3 days a week and no one can see me most of the time except the cat, and b) even in the office no one makes an effort or gives a shit anyway.

I just know, intuition? I've also learnt by the grand old age of 49 that if I don't think it suits I'll be pulling, tugging m, adjusting all the time so not worth it. There were definitely shakes that didn't suit me when I was a thinner.

Depends why you wear clothes though i suppose. I would still care about how i dressed if stuck on a desert island! I don't mean in a vain way, but more because i love nice fabrics and the way they make me feel.
I am currently wafting about in lovely gowns, nobody except DP sees me in them but i do feel nice :)

Interesting , I definitely have the intuition!
I see a lot of women who are wearing things that don't flatter / could look better and I often wonder if they don't care / don't know / .. I always want to flatter my figure but often I see women with tummies etc hanging out which is fine if you want to do that but which reason is it.. kind of fascinating really .
I work in women's retail so I see alot of interesting things and when I help someone to look better they are often genuinely shocked they can look so good !

@nearlyspringyay

I just know, intuition? I've also learnt by the grand old age of 49 that if I don't think it suits I'll be pulling, tugging m, adjusting all the time so not worth it. There were definitely shakes that didn't suit me when I was a thinner.

Yeh, im like this with elastic waists, whether on dresses, skirts or trousers. I know they're supposed to be flexible but they destroy the midline of any outfit for me, and i hate the feel of them all bunched up.

Bad fit is definitely obvious to me, so that's one thing.

Also I have never suited leather (jackets, trousers, etc) and havent worn it. I dont know why but it is just a solid decision.

Oh by the way, just to clarify - im not interested in clothes that flatter my figure, i kind of dont go in for that at all.
Im more interested in whether something is 'me' and works for me.

Being thin doesn't make everything look good.

Being in proportion does.

Wideleg trousers look AMAZING on me - as long as they're fitted on my bum and hips and high waisted.

Otherwise -too boxy and crap

(And I'm slim, 5ft6, all leg)

Same as mom jeans don't suit me. One shoulder tops don't suit me, anything which exposes shoulders doesn't - unless it's teeny tiny spaghetti strap.

But structure - that's my thing. Lines, angles, block colour - 100% me

Pastel colours - hell no, I look ill.

You just....learn I guess? I narrowed it down by studying what I wear when I get the most compliments in, and when I feel good. Then base other decisions off that.

Just trial and error though isn't it , I'm a hourglass size 8/10 and today and wearing a massive sweatshirt with slim boyfriend jeans . It doesn't show my very small waist etc but I'm not bothered . I just seem to have a sixth sense of what is cool and suits me . I like clothes and enjoy trying stuff and I evolve.. often I see mums from when my daughter was at school ( she is 18) and they are wearing the same clothes which is fine but pretty dull. I'd be bored stiff of looking at myself in the same clothes for years on end .

I think you know if it suits by your reaction when you try it in. I've bought many mistakes by 'thinking' it's what I should be wearing, sometimes if I'm feeling bit low I'll buy into a 'look' thinking it will make me happy, when in reality I know what suits and what doesn't.

I think in reality i suit rather feminine things (i dont mean florals or fancy stuff, just the shapes, etc) but i adore masculine styles. I do look wrong in them though and like a kid in dad's clothes .

Perhaps it is less to do with bodyweight/shape and more to do with an over all balance?
Like hair style, face shapes, althletic or ballerina build and so on. I hope that makes sense! Most of us have an over all 'look' that is more than just our shape, like the kibbe (?) thing.

I would suit dressing like one of the wood spirits or Hermia in Midsummer Night's Dream. Not sure how i feel about it but know it's sort of true!

I've almost come full circle with this. I used to go purely from the mirror or a photo until around age 50 when I lost confidence following childbirth in my 40s and then menopause. For a while I followed style and body shape rules quite fervently - 'I can't wear that because I'm short / pear shaped' kind of thing. Now I'm gradually going back to mostly following my instincts.

I do find rules can still be useful because they can sometimes explain why something looks off but I was beginning to find them more like a straight jacket than a useful tool and yes, a reason to put ourselves down unnecessarily.

I don't believe any of this is objective fact. I think it's a mix of habit, how we're used to seeing ourselves, plus a bit of instinct and also partly the F-word (aka fashion).

I think generally if something doesn't look ill-fitting (e.g. too much space in the shoulders/gappy in places/too tight in others) and the person wearing it looks confident and comfortable then it suits them.

If a piece of clothing isn't really "you" then it shows in your body language and therefore doesn't look as good. But it would look good on someone with the same body shape and proportions as you who loved that clothing.

So 2 steps to the process:

• does it look like it fits (i.e almost looks like it was made for my body)?
• do I feel good in it?

Have to admit, most of the time I now no longer care about clothes fitting just whether I feel comfy in them! But I generally get told I look nice

I read this tip somewhere and find it helps. When wearing a garment which you both like in itself and which suits you, you should find your eye drawn to the overall picture of yourself when looking in the mirror, whereas if your eye is drawn by the garment alone then, however nice it is, it may not actually suit you.

I feel like this with joggers, I can't stand the bunching you get around the waist, I have brought 3 or 4 pairs but I just don't wear them, and I don't like the gathers cuff at the ankle, prefer the straight style, which are harder to find, I'm petite 5ft3 slim size 10 hips a 12 on top, I do like a wide leg trousers, as someone said they have to fit the bum, hips and waist well, with no bunching at the waist.

Great answer!

@lindyloo57

I feel like this with joggers, I can't stand the bunching you get around the waist, I have brought 3 or 4 pairs but I just don't wear them, and I don't like the gathers cuff at the ankle, prefer the straight style, which are harder to find, I'm petite 5ft3 slim size 10 hips a 12 on top, I do like a wide leg trousers, as someone said they have to fit the bum, hips and waist well, with no bunching at the waist.

Highly recommend the joggers from Blakeley clothing.

Well made, good fit, variety of styles.

I just took a look at the Blakeley joggers, I like the look of the deep waistband.

@musicforsmorks

Depends why you wear clothes though i suppose. I would still care about how i dressed if stuck on a desert island! I don't mean in a vain way, but more because i love nice fabrics and the way they make me feel. I am currently wafting about in lovely gowns, nobody except DP sees me in them but i do feel nice :)

Where are your gowns from please 😀

I think it’s not just your shape and size but overall look too.

I’m tall, 5 ft 11 and size 8. But I’m slim in an athletic way, and my facial features aren’t very delicate - I’ve got wide/high cheeks and my face isn’t really delicate. So if I wear overly feminine things I just don’t feel like it goes. Sportswear is something I look good in, and the sort of casual causal joggers/jumpers/chunky boots look. Scandi style generally suits me. I can get away with oversized stuff too and this tends to look better than fitted stuff on me.

I think it’s also about personality - what you wear is a way of expressing yourself and if it doesn’t fit with your personality it can feel a bit wrong. For me I’m a pretty casual and practical person, so my look is too - I couldn’t for example see myself looking right in heels and a pencil skirt for work, but wide leg trousers and trainers works!

So yeah I think it’s more than just shape, definitely!

When I wear something that does not suit me, my daughter tells me 'Mum don't wear that again' or she looks at me and smiles... that smile that says it all.. 'you look like a bag of shite' look.

If we happen to have had a fallout she won't say anything until later, after we have been out and I have exposed myself to the gen public wearing whatever the offending garment was.

@intheblightgarden

Mostly from Toast (via ebay) or places like Museum collection. There's the occasional nice one at oliver bonas too. I would love silk pj's and slips but always afraid of handwashing silk.

@Amelion

I think it’s not just your shape and size but overall look too.

I’m tall, 5 ft 11 and size 8. But I’m slim in an athletic way, and my facial features aren’t very delicate - I’ve got wide/high cheeks and my face isn’t really delicate. So if I wear overly feminine things I just don’t feel like it goes. Sportswear is something I look good in, and the sort of casual causal joggers/jumpers/chunky boots look. Scandi style generally suits me. I can get away with oversized stuff too and this tends to look better than fitted stuff on me.

I think it’s also about personality - what you wear is a way of expressing yourself and if it doesn’t fit with your personality it can feel a bit wrong. For me I’m a pretty casual and practical person, so my look is too - I couldn’t for example see myself looking right in heels and a pencil skirt for work, but wide leg trousers and trainers works!

So yeah I think it’s more than just shape, definitely!

I really agree with this, the over all look is important. Whilst i'm not down about my looks in general I do wish i had a more athletic going on (i love equestrian style, country type clothes) but i'm very slight, with soft features, fairy-like tousled hair. I look odd in structured or sporty stuff and trousers of any kind never seem to suit me, even if they fit well.

Personality is another thing, yes! And i wonder if all of us have a certain era where we feel we'd have fit in more, style wise.
For me that would have been victorian/edwardian and some of the 90's all mixed together!

@Bunty55

When I wear something that does not suit me, my daughter tells me 'Mum don't wear that again' or she looks at me and smiles... that smile that says it all.. 'you look like a bag of shite' look.

If we happen to have had a fallout she won't say anything until later, after we have been out and I have exposed myself to the gen public wearing whatever the offending garment was.

Doesn’t that rather depend on whether you trust your daughter’s eye, though? A good friend has a 20 year old DD who occasionally ‘dresses’ her, often in floaty, dressy things, but the she looks far better to me in the androgynous, block coloured stuff she wears left to her own devices — she’s tall, olive-skinned and rangy, with a geometric bob.

I agree that’s it’s about your overall look. I’m retired now and wish I suited the gymnwear look which is everywhere - as it would suit my lifestyle. But I just don’t look good in very casual gear. I am a size 8 so quite slim but my face always looks a bit “posh” ( not that nice ), and so somehow I look better dressed up a bit. I do wear jeans all the time - but look better in jeans and a blouse than jeans and a sweatshirt. I need a bit of softness in my clothes too- maybe because my features are all quite big

I'm tall, fat, short-waisted and round shouldered. Most things look hideous on me, so it's really easy to tell if something doesn't suit - it will look appalling.