How can you tell if something doesn't suit you?

[musicforsmorks]

This sounds like a silly question, but sometimes I truly do not know!

I know what I like, and I have a good eye for things (I'm a painter and designer) but I do wonder how we really figure it out - is it just a sort of intuition thing where we can immediately see it in the mirror, or could our confidence (or lack of) get in the way of a truly objective judgement?

Would love to hear thoughts on this.
For example I like wide leg linen trousers, love the way they look on others. I am slim, in proportion (whatever all that means!) and can generally get away with most things - but I really don't feel like they work on me, as if the silhouette knocks my entire look......just 'off'.
Hard to explain!
I think I suit flowy things, delicate and subtle, and maybe wide leg shapes are just too blocky for me.

But so many people in S&B go on and on about being thin making everything work, and it simply doesn't! So how do you determine what suits? Often I think we get used to a certain way of dressing and are afraid to try something new that might suit us more. Sometimes we put ourselves down and pick on perceived flaws.
Perhaps if you have got to your mid 40's and never wear a certain style, you might just know it isnt for you!

Navel gazing alert

I need to know what a 'posh' face is now, and whether ive got one or not

I think you just know after a while. Like with hair cuts-after a few decades you know what looks good. I don’t suit structured styles or sportswear. But a nice dress and boots, jeans and a blouse or at a push jeans and a sweater are fine on me. However this does not stop me wearing the odd hoody if I really can’t be arsed.

When you look in the mirror do you notice the outfit first?
If so I would say its wearing you rather than you wearing it and therefore it's wrong for you

Check out Kibbe to see where you fit - it was eye opening for me. I have never got on with the current floaty floral layered dresses and now I know why. I'm a Soft Dramatic and Romantic styles just look so wrong on me. e

I love the cath kidston dresses that flare from the waist I think I will look all vintage and lovely but no i just look silly, think pot doll. I also cant get away with wrap over tops and one shoulder but the later is choice as I think just look weird. Not sure if my taste is for everyone, I kind of just go for it. If I like it I wear it, dont care what anyone else thinks

Just to add I'm short 5.3 and size 8to10. With big hair. When I was younger I could wear anything and would. I like high necks and baggy stuff now plus must hide my (incase of famine thighs)

I would so love to be tall and willowy and waft about in floaty things. However I'm 5ft1, size 10-12 , hourglass with wide shoulders, wide hips, good boobs and small waist. Good legs too. So I'm learning to work with what I've got. Strapless dresses- no. Smart joggers- yes. Wide leg trousers- no. Wrap dresses- yes. Etc

I think understanding your body helps & agree proportions are often more important than size & most people aren't perfectly proportioned. Look at Kate Middleton who despite being thin looks much better in certain fits as she has a long body.

But I also think things don't suit "you" because of personality & individual style even if the fit is right if that makes sense

This is such a good thread.
I used to wear almost everything, really quite a bold dresser....never just track pants and tops.
I'm post menopausal, weigh only 3-4 pounds more than I did before, still slim, 5.6, size 10, but it looks different!
I look young-ish for my age, and still often told I always dress well, but.....I am less certain. I used to just know.

I'm post menopausal, weigh only 3-4 pounds more than I did before, still slim, 5.6, size 10, but it looks different!
That happened to me too - the scales said I was only a couple of pounds heavier and yet none of my favourite clothes looked right any more. It turned out my boobs had grown and I hadn't noticed. I went to Bravissimo who put me in a 28F and then for a few years (as I think I've said upthread) I followed the style and body shape rules religiously - I don't bother with them so much these days but they did help at the time.

It’s taken me a while but I noticed recently that I look good in jeggings or leggings with a plain black long sleeved T-shirt and then a chunky or other cardigan over it with tan calf length boots. Or cuffed jeans. Even mom jeans suit me but I didn’t think they did.

It’s also colour. I saw a lovely bright blue Numph sweatshirt the other day in a shop and I know the colour suits me also coral and brighter colours. But I didn’t do brights when I was younger.

I was always drawn to a mandarin collar - only in the last couple of years did I realise it looks better because I have a short neck. Also I have wide shoulders so a full collar looks masculine. So some intuition and some a-ha critical thinking moments

Years ago I had a colour/style analysis with House of Colour. They talked about style archetypes, which I found really useful. This may be a bit dated now, but it helped me see that I was on the right track with my style, soft fabrics, bit floaty, slightly ethereal etc. Also you can be a mix of more than one, so I'm a Romantic Ingenue, which I always thought of as a medieval Elizabeth Taylor!

Dramatic (statement dressing, think Victoria Beckham),

Natural (a much more relaxed and casual look, bohemian or sporty, think Elle MacPherson),

Gamine (young, boyish and fun, think Carey Mulligan),

Ingénue (youthful, feminine, elegant and pretty, Helena Bonham Carter )

Romantic (sexy, grown-up, think Marilyn Monroe),

Classic (timeless, smart, think Kate Middleton)

I think i am in the Bonham Carter/Ingenue area but do not have her confidence, poise or gravitas. Perhaps much of our 'issues' with style and clothes are self created, sort of etched into the patchwork of our lives, our experiences, our self opinion.
Worth thinking about.

Since starting this thread I have learned a bit about myself and my own self confidence regarding my approach to dressing. It's interesting stuff!

Thanks for contributing:)

I can send you a photo of my DexSIL for reference. She had so much money to spend on clothes but whenever I saw her my inside voice was screaming wtaf are you wearing???? Think Edina from AbFab but way less awkward about owning the look 🤭

This thread is so interesting! I have been trying on some of the new jeans styles (I also have a teen daughter, who is adamant I need to move away from my beloved skinnies… ) but no matter how many different styles I try on, I just don’t think any jean style is going to work as well on me as skinny jeans.

I am clueless about style and fashion but I have worked out several rules over the years. More for what to avoid than postive choices I suppose.

I am short and slender, wide shouldered. Generally fit wise stuff is OK. - but shoulder balance can be an issue. Pouffy sleeves a no-no.

I have curly hair and defined cheekbones (not bony/angular but there). This determines so much what suits - anything too frilly, fussy or patterned just fights the curls and the shape of my face. All just too much going on.

So plains, with drapes or soft gathers work. Or beautiful materials which drape. It kind of compliments what is going on around my face.

Anything too boxy or angular is too much of a contrast with the curls. So, like with the patterns I rarely even try stuff like this.

I'm confident with style but not colour. The only colour I think suits me is black. I'm size 6/8 so it's not about it 'flattering' my figure, it's my colouring. Nothing seems to look as good as black, but its so boring.