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Original poster

Modern Holy Communion

89 replies

goldfluffyclouds · 23/02/2022 21:00

So DD is about to do her First Holy Communion.
The idea of a fancy white dress is making her want to pull out of the whole process... But at the same time I know that she will want to look nice and feel special.
Any ideas on a cool outfit? (She has definitely said an absolute no to the idea of a white trouser suit as I already ran that by her!)
Is the white colour essential or just recommended?
She does have a 'thing' about comfort - so is generally found in supersoft leggings and t-shirts. She will wear dresses but they tend to be dark simple styles - as soon as they vere into pastels, flouncy overly girly styles then she's not keen.
I'm not much of a style guru - so if I could show her a few ideas we can work out what she might be comfortable with...

OP posts:
ScrollingLeaves · 26/02/2022 22:43

A relative of mine wore a very simple white shift dress and white shoes with no veil. It looked nice, but was comfortable and not flouncy.

ScrollingLeaves · 26/02/2022 22:46

Sorry, I forgot to say this was a knee length dress, and was linen. No lace, taffeta etc Nothing scratchy.

AliceMcK · 27/02/2022 00:27

I’m assuming she’s doing classes in preparation? What have you been told there.

My DD did hers a few months ago, neither her or her friends are dress girls, all live out of black leggings and sports clothes, but all wore traditional communion dresses, I,e white dresses, as that’s what you do during your first holy communion and boys wore their traditional communion ties with white shirts. None of them had a problem with wearing the required clothing as it as it’s part of the religious sacrament.

Is she doing just because everyone else is doing it or because you think it’s an important part of her religious upbringing. If your not religious then I wouldn’t make her do it just for the sake of doing it.

ParkheadParadise · 27/02/2022 09:20

I would check with the school because when Dd1made her first communion the whole class had very strict rules about what they could wear.
If anyone had turned up different the Priest and the legions of Mary would have had a fit 😂

UniversalTruth · 27/02/2022 10:05

I would just like to say that of course the required clothing is NOT part of the religious sacrament.

And if my child wanted to wear something appropriate but not within the "strict rules" then the legions of Marys can get over themselves and l'll ask them exactly where in the Bible or Catechism it says this. Next time it won't even raise an eyebrow.

AnnesBrokenSlate · 27/02/2022 15:18

Did you have a child who made their FHC in an RC Church or an Anglican Church @UniversalTruth ? Because your advice that 'next time it won't even raise an eyebrow' shows a lack of understanding of the dynamics of traditional religious communities and ceremonies.

White isn't required as part of the FHC sacrament but OP has already said her DD is happy that she can wear something white that is more relaxed and informal.

UniversalTruth · 27/02/2022 15:59

@AnnesBrokenSlate I find that a bit condescending! Yes, I have had my children in FHC recently and I'm an active member of my RC church.

What I was trying to say was that anyone who thinks it's ok to make a 7yo feel uncomfortable in church needs to take a long hard look at themselves and their cultural (rather than religious) traditions. Maybe I was too optimistic that their opinion would change going forward but a precedent would be set at least.

Snugglepumpkin · 27/02/2022 16:08

My niece wore a pretty simple white just below the knee dress & leggings then had white roses braided through her hair instead of a veil.

She looked absolutely lovely & the next year quite a few girls turned up with white roses in their hair instead of a veil so I wasn't the only one who thought so.

AnnesBrokenSlate · 27/02/2022 18:08

@UniversalTruth I didn't mean to be condescending. It's just your optimism hasn't matched my experiences so I was checking if there was another denomination that has communion but possibly isn't as tied to tradition.
Although to be fair, it can differ from parish to parish. Still, I think it's hard for a child who isn't comfortable being in the spotlight to be the trailblazer.

jerometheturnipking · 27/02/2022 18:13

I so wish more parishes would put all the kids in altar server style albs for FHC. It's so bloody expensive otherwise with kilt hire (where I am), or getting the dress sorted. We had to pay £60 for DS to wear a kilt suit for the morning. People who are bothered about the fancy outfits can still have their kids wearing them underneath for the family celebrations.

ParkheadParadise · 27/02/2022 18:17

I don't understand why kids don't make their FHC in their school uniforms.
It would save the parents a fortune and all the kids would be the same.

Abra1d1 · 27/02/2022 18:18

My daughter wore a plainish satin dress that wasn’t long. No earrings. Simple veil. No frilly bridal effect.

Strumpetpumpet · 27/02/2022 19:57

@ParkheadParadise

I don't understand why kids don't make their FHC in their school uniforms. It would save the parents a fortune and all the kids would be the same.
A church in a less well off area of Liverpool used to do this - the priest was fed up of seeing hard pressed families feel obliged to spend £££ on dresses which would only be worn once, so all the children from his parish school wore their school uniform with a red sash (which he provided). I’m going back a few years and the priest is no longer with us so no idea If it’s still the case but I though it was a good idea.
Frazzled50yrold · 27/02/2022 23:38

I photograph first communions every year and there's quite a lot of variety in the outfits. Sometimes it's the accessories which tip the outfits over the edge to being a bit ott.Think bracelets, necklaces, tiaras, handbags, kitten heels, very structured up do hairstyles etc. Last year a little girl had apparently requested a non binary outfit and she was in culottes, superga trainers and a simple white top.It looked great and not out of place at all.

AtrociousCircumstance · 27/02/2022 23:41

Does she want to do it at all? Maybe her discomfort about the outfit reflects a greater discomfort about the whole thing?

mathanxiety · 28/02/2022 03:40

@ParkheadParadise, we wore full school uniform including blazer, with veils on our heads, for Confirmation. This was back in 1977 though.

I know there were parishes a good few years ago in Dublin which wanted to introduce a simple alb-type robe for Communion, though I don't know if that idea took off. Parents liked splashing the cash.

maldivemoment · 28/02/2022 04:12

Our daughter wore a very simple, beautiful jumpsuit and little bolero cardigan. No veil. Every other girl was full- on mini wedding dress.

Our daughter looked beautiful. As a friend put it ‘… a real representation of herself, in front of god…’
We were super proud of her.

ParkheadParadise · 28/02/2022 11:34

My FHC dress was my Oldest Sisters FHC dress. It started out full length and every communion(4 sisters) my mum must have cut the length off. By the time I got it it looked like a mini dress 😂😂😂

Toddlerteaplease · 28/02/2022 11:52

@TheYearOfSmallThings

In England I've seen totally plain dresses (almost like shrouds) and everyone wearing the same, to keep the focus on the sacrament. So you can definitely get an acceptable garment with no frills.

Personally I prefer the Irish way, but that is my inner 7 year old speaking.

I think you mean an Alb. Some priests are encouraging children to wear these so that they can focus on what is actually important at a first communion. Which is receiving Jesus for the first time. And also to prevent the ridiculous amounts of money spent on outfits. As a 7 year old girl I know all I'd have been interested in would be the dress. Which is rather missing the point!
ParkheadParadise · 28/02/2022 12:24

As a 7 year old girl I know all I'd have been interested in would be the dress. Which is rather missing the point!

ParkheadParadise · 28/02/2022 12:26

Posted too soon
Also coming home from the chapel and all the neighbours came out and gave you money. 😂😂

Toddlerteaplease · 28/02/2022 12:42

@SpaghettiNotCourgetti I was the same. For my first confirmation as an Anglican, I wore a navy sailor dress. For my reception into RC church I wore black trousers and a shirt.

Toddlerteaplease · 28/02/2022 12:43

I think I was deprived as a child, as I never got a big frilly dress. And was also never a bridesmaid. 😰

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