Another grey hair dilemma (or big mistake)

[BrassyGrey]

So basically in lockdown I ended up growing out the grey in my dyed dark brown hair. I’d sort of started anyway due to a salon cock up the previous summer, so lockdown just forced my hand in seeing it through.

When hairdressers opened again last year I got the last of the brown dye and was left with a steely colour that I almost loved but still felt a bit conflicted about, as I felt I hadn’t actively chosen to embrace the grey and probably wouldn’t have for another few years. I was having this conversation with the hairdresser at a new salon and he said he could just ‘lift’ the colour a bit to make it look more intentional and polished, which sounded like a good plan.

He didn’t advise putting any more dark colour on it so did bleach foils on the top section and a toner all over. It was supposed to come out dark grey but this is what I’ve got - a horrible brassy brown chunk that looks totally mad with the cool tone of my natural hair

Any suggestions what I can do? I’m reluctant to go back and get more colour put on as I now just wish I’d left well alone! Anything I can do at home?

Here's a photo (if it loads...)

Does he have a manager that you could ask how they would go about fixing it, because clearly that is ridiculous - what was he thinking?

Would it be less visible if you flipped your parting to the other side, at least?

At the least, a decent purple shampoo should tone it down a bit.

I think he was the manager! Not 100% sure but I'm so bad at confrontation I was hoping there might be something I can do at home. I've tried purple shampoo and I think it might make a tiny bit of difference but not enough to make it look ok!

Good call about flipping the parting. My hair is a bit stubborn about which direction it will lie in, but that's worth a try.

I would be bloody fuming, it is a very odd thing to have done, and your natural colour so lovely.

There are purple shampoos and purple shampoos too - supermarket level ones won't do what some of the salon type ones will do for colour, although obviously you need to be careful not to turn it all purple.

Even if he is the manager just phone back up and be honest, tell him, ask what can be done.
I've been going to the same hairdresser for 15 years. Same salon, a different colourist does my occasional lowlights and highlights. Last time I went back 3 times, because white highlights was too solid, too blocky.

I never get why women struggle to just tell the hairdresser they aren't happy.

I've got the Fanola purple shampoo but I have a feeling it's going to need something stronger! I've ordered the Shrine drops in silver because I read about them on here and a few posters have said how good they are, but I don't know if all of this is just more money down the drain and isn't going to touch the problem. I've kind of lost trust in the salon now, so if it's going to be a job for a professional I might just need to go somewhere else and start again.

It has certainly made me appreciate my natural colour, that's for sure! Having been a bit meh about it I'm now realising it was nice and I just needed to own it properly. A lesson here for anyone else who is struggling to embrace the grey

You've got more chance of having it corrected properly, getting what you want, if you at least let the professional correct any mistakes that have been made.

Christ, he’s really made a mess of that. I think you’re right to go somewhere else to have it put right, presumably all the colour will have to be stripped out. Such a shame because your natural colour’s beautiful.

Do you think the brown chunk has come from the toner? If so that will come out over time and can be encouraged to do so more quickly with clarifying shampoos or even head & shoulders. My hairdresser puts toner on my blonde bits even though I have previously asked her not to, it comes out too brown and drab with toner.

My fear is if I go back to the same place that he'll be on the defensive from the off and I won't get an honest appraisal of what's gone wrong and what my options are for improving it. Of course, if I go somewhere else there's always the risk that they'll be a bit keen to overcompensate and suggest something fairly extreme? (and expensive...) Aaaggghh - why did I mess with it in the first place?!

Cakey I'm not sure if the brown is toner or the orangey colour of the bleach. He did bleach it first in foils, but I didn't really see what colour the bleached hair was before it had the toner on it. I know in the past when I've had my hair bleached it's gone very yellowy and I've needed to knock that back with purple shampoo, but that looked nothing like this. How long will it take to fade out? Is that what colour stripper would do (or is colour stripper actually just more bleach?)

At 49 I honestly thought all my hair disasters were behind me!

My hairdresser put a conditioning treatment on my grey hair last year that I swear has put a tiny shade of colour on it. So frustrating when the natural colour is so good. I have sworn I will never have anything bar shampoo and conditioner on it again.

Is the brown a semi so will wash out?

I love the grey part and would leave it natural or get some white mixed in with it, not brown.... something like this

I think that's just toner OP. Your natural colour is beautiful. I'd try moving the parting and washing it a few times. If you go back I would think they would maybe only tone again and it might be darker all over?

I've now made the same vow Whitney! That's why I don't want to get into a cycle of trying to correct this mess when it's just going to be more colour and chemicals and the answer is possibly just to wait for it to grow out.

That said, it was seeing the other recent thread about grey hair, and all the hair salon shots of fabulous transformations that made me think I don't need to go around with a sort of dead squirrel toupee on my head for the next year!

SoTired that was exactly the sort of thing I wanted! A more intentional look with lighter streaks in amongst my remaining natural dark hair to lift it, but keeping it very cool toned. I even showed pics! No idea how I ended up with this.

Cross post DiscWriter That sounds reassuring. It would be great to think I can lie low at home for a bit and it'll all look better in a few months...(Where's another lockdown when you need it?)

I once used a box of colour restorer (stripper) but that did leave it a peachy colour which is the opposite of what you want here.
If you do double washing with clarifying shampoo then I think it would be weeks. I've spotted this on Amazon which looks like a half way house between box stripper and clarifying ....L'Oréal Paris Colorista Fader Shampoo, Accelerate Washout Colorist Removal,

Oh that's come out v big 🤔. Anyway I think this is what I would go for.

I'm upset on your behalf. Your silver is lovely. I've grown mine out too and would be gutted.
I'd try to go back.

If not, I'm on various silver hair groups on Facebook like Going Grey Gracefully and Silver Sisters. This seems to happen quite a bit, sadly, so there are lots of suggestions.

I think Fanola and the drops are good ideas. I have used the Revolution drops and colour depositing conditioner - both wash out.

Some women try Head and Shoulders I believe, but I can't say if this is good. I don't normally use silicones, but I do sometimes use H&S to brighten my silver.

I just came back with a morning update, having washed it (very thoroughly - 3 applications!) with Head and Shoulders and done a strand test with the Shrine drops. Thanks for your suggestions Cakey and middleager

I think the Head and Shoulders has made quite a big difference. The brown has faded to a brassy yellow gold, which is pretty horrible, but I'm hoping can be toned down - it's definitely better than having a block colour to grow out again, which is what I feared. I don't think I'll have to bring out the big guns and try the clarifying shampoo, though thanks for the link Cakey.

I've only done a very narrow strand with the Shrine and it's made a difference, though it's not the magic solution I was hoping for. I chose the silver colourant drops, but am wondering if I should have gone for the toner. Their website is actually pretty awful and they give information out like it's MI5 classified so I can't even work out what the difference between the toner and colourant drops are. I'm thinking of ordering the toner as well, which I guess is exactly what they want )

I pretty much lost yesterday afternoon's work to desperate internet searches so can't afford to do that today, but will definitely check out the Facebook groups - thank you! It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in doing something so daft.

That's good news as I genuinely think it will fade now. Here's where Fanola comes in. The Redken one is supposed to be good too. They have it in my local TK Maxx.

They will be vety drying - like Head &Shoulders, so do some deep conditioning.

Apple Cider Vinegar mixed with water can act as a clarifier too.

Never used a toner, so not sure re shine. Revolution does two shades of silver in its colour depositing conditioner though. One is deeper silver but gave me a blue rinse Mrs Slocombe style. They all wash out though.

Those groups are a mine of information, though I get lost down the rabbit hole too.

@BrassyGrey

I've got the Fanola purple shampoo but I have a feeling it's going to need something stronger! I've ordered the Shrine drops in silver because I read about them on here and a few posters have said how good they are, but I don't know if all of this is just more money down the drain and isn't going to touch the problem. I've kind of lost trust in the salon now, so if it's going to be a job for a professional I might just need to go somewhere else and start again.

It has certainly made me appreciate my natural colour, that's for sure! Having been a bit meh about it I'm now realising it was nice and I just needed to own it properly. A lesson here for anyone else who is struggling to embrace the grey

Leave the purple shampoo on for a good few minutes, then the same with the purple conditioner. You can also but a toner for silver. Your natural colour is fabulous.

*buy

Thank you middleager and ThistleTits I'm feeling a bit more positive about it now (though I could do with not thinking about it every 30 seconds!)

I'll probs try the purple shampoo on Friday morning. I'm actually really surprised at how good my hair feels after its Head and Shoulders power wash - really soft and clean. (Hmm... maybe that's not surprising as I shampooed it 3 times. It's probably never been so clean.) But, bearing in mind it's going to be put through a lot in the coming weeks I've ordered some of this stuff www.cultbeauty.co.uk/k18-leave-in-molecular-repair-hair-mask-various-sizes/13557497.html If I have to have dead squirrel hair, I want it to be a glossy dead squirrel at least.

I'm a big Head and Shoulders fan, either the Classic Clean or clarifying one.
Tbh I find most purple shampoos to be much the same. B and M do a Provoke hair mask it definitely brightens any duller colours up but if your sliver is very porous it will definitely turn it purple. You could try in on the browny bit only.
Your natural colour is lovely.

Thanks Coco - I've seen your posts on lots of the grey hair threads and love your colour.

I'm not sure if my hair is porous or not, but I'm thinking maybe not as it seemed to take ages for the bleach to take when I had the awful foils on. I'm wondering if that's why I've been left with such an orangey colour as even after leaving it for ages longer than planned it still hadn't lifted all my natural dark colour out. So, the silver lining (haha) to that might be that purple will brighten without turning me into Mrs Slocombe.

Like Coco I like washing my hair with Head and Shoulders and find that purple shampoo does nothing for my grey hair. What I can recommend prior to the Apple Cider rinse is a bicarbonate of soda cleanse. I add a teaspoon of bicarb to my shampoo (either H&S or any white shampoo) and this will act as a cleanser and it brings down any brass. It will also soften your hair and has the added benefit of being cheaper than a clarifying shampoo.