Another grey hair dilemma (or big mistake)

[BrassyGrey]

So basically in lockdown I ended up growing out the grey in my dyed dark brown hair. I’d sort of started anyway due to a salon cock up the previous summer, so lockdown just forced my hand in seeing it through.

When hairdressers opened again last year I got the last of the brown dye and was left with a steely colour that I almost loved but still felt a bit conflicted about, as I felt I hadn’t actively chosen to embrace the grey and probably wouldn’t have for another few years. I was having this conversation with the hairdresser at a new salon and he said he could just ‘lift’ the colour a bit to make it look more intentional and polished, which sounded like a good plan.

He didn’t advise putting any more dark colour on it so did bleach foils on the top section and a toner all over. It was supposed to come out dark grey but this is what I’ve got - a horrible brassy brown chunk that looks totally mad with the cool tone of my natural hair

Any suggestions what I can do? I’m reluctant to go back and get more colour put on as I now just wish I’d left well alone! Anything I can do at home?

Thanks Brassy, my hair sucks up any colour, I made the mistake of using green shampoo once 🐸.
Im going to try the bicarb.

I am curious about all the Mumsnetters who seem to have gone grey quite early. I am heading for 85 and still have mostly dirty blonde , fine, hair with some scattered grey, especially at the temples. Have tried colour washes, but end up looking a bit brassy. Anyway it is obvious I shall never have beautiful white hair like some of my contemporaries. I also envy those who still retain thick hair with waves in old age. As it is, I have to have a body perm every three months.

Try a blue not purple shampoo. Purple offsets yellow, blue offsets orange.

@grannieali

I am curious about all the Mumsnetters who seem to have gone grey quite early. I am heading for 85 and still have mostly dirty blonde , fine, hair with some scattered grey, especially at the temples. Have tried colour washes, but end up looking a bit brassy. Anyway it is obvious I shall never have beautiful white hair like some of my contemporaries. I also envy those who still retain thick hair with waves in old age. As it is, I have to have a body perm every three months.

Just genetics, innit? Presumably lots of us do, it's just that it's quite new for 'younger' women to let it show? I coloured until I was 50, then stopped, so have been clear of dye for a few years now.

With my level of grey - probably 80%+, but any remaining dark is back of head and lower, doesn't stop the white parting - I can either be blonde (which doesn't suit me at all) or I can be grey. Any shade of brown, or my preferred redder tones, would see me needing to colour my hair every couple of weeks and probably still having a white line a lot of the time.

Fortunately my genetics also mean that my hair is a good, silvery grey and very thick, so it's no great hardship really. Certainly attracts a lot of positive comments, which are unsolicited so presumably genuine.

I think it's great that more people are freeing themselves from a constant fight to hide it. Suspect lockdown helped a lot of people to bite the bullet, as it enabled them to get the worst of it over when they were out of circulation.

Just read that again and it sounds wrong - obviously you know it's genetics. It is just a sea-change that people are able to feel comfortable to make a feature of it, rather than desperately trying to hide it.

@grannieali

I am curious about all the Mumsnetters who seem to have gone grey quite early. I am heading for 85 and still have mostly dirty blonde , fine, hair with some scattered grey, especially at the temples. Have tried colour washes, but end up looking a bit brassy. Anyway it is obvious I shall never have beautiful white hair like some of my contemporaries. I also envy those who still retain thick hair with waves in old age. As it is, I have to have a body perm every three months.

It’s genes. My first grey hair appeared when I was 16. My brother was 50% grey at 21. And three out of four of my grandparents were completely grey. When I stopped dying mine when I was 43, I was 100% grey.

My mum's side of the family were all grey in their 30's, my Granny was pure white by 21.
I dyed my hair for years, but think I probably started going grey in my 30's.
I agree its more noticeable now because more people are stopping the dye a bit younger.

@k1233 is right, it’s blue shampoo you need.

I’d take a photo next time, I didn’t after over 18 months of no hair cut and she gave me a shit hair cut. She was the manager too!

I didn’t say anything and dh said later he nearly phoned them. Luckily he didn’t as he got the wrong salon 😃

Thanks for the bicarb tip! That's the kind of insider wisdom I love. I'm so done with trawling through pages and pages of product descriptions, directions for use and reviews to try to work out if the swanky shampoo/mask/toner I'm about to buy is actually suitable for grey hair - without intending to obliterate all traces of it. (Honestly, it's like we are the invisible customers. Hello, hair care brands! We are here and we have money to spend!)

I think original hair colour is a huge factor in when you go grey and how it happens. My blonde friends of a similar age aren't nearly so noticeably grey, so maybe that accounts for it grannieali. Perhaps there's some science around pigment and it's longevity, or maybe it is just genetics. I think the secret is probably to accept what we have and work with it (which was where I went wrong!) I think hair is one of the parts of ourselves that we are most critical of. The grass is always greener on the other side, and the hair is always more enviable!

That's really interesting about blue shampoo and I will definitely look out for that to try. I didn't have time to wash my hair this morning so will be using my purple Fanola tomorrow to see how that works Followed by K18 mask, which arrived today! Any blue shampoo recommendations?

Aveda do one. There will be others, marketed at brunettes needing to tone down orange.

Taking notes for my friend with grey hair.