Frumpy

[JaneJeffer]

Can people please stop using this word to insult people who don't want to wear what you would wear. I'm fed up of seeing it.

I still wear skinny jeans. Am I supposed to wear bootlegs? I don’t really get what jeans are in at the moment. I still see most people wearing skinny. Please help

@MrsPsmalls

Frumpy, mumsy, dowdy and plain are all disgusting words used by disgusting misogynists. No one uses them for any reason other than to sneer at women.A man wearing a similar style would be described as wearing garments that were practical, comfortable, or warm.

Exactly this.

I would ban “crepey” as in “My décolletage is looking crepey”. 🙄

[quote JaneJeffer]@Iamthewombat you obviously have problems with comprehension so I’m going to try to help you out here.

This is a sentence:
Can people please stop using this word to insult people who don't want to wear what you would wear.

The symbol at the end which looks like this . is called a full stop.

When we read a sentence we read all the way to the full stop.

Therefore we don’t read ‘Can people please stop using this word’ and think the OP doesn’t want us to use the word frumpy but instead
we carry on until we get to the full stop and see that the OP wants us to stop using the word frumpy as an insult.

If you still don’t understand then I can’t be of any further help but I’m sure professional help is available.

Also, apart from telling you I don’t own any Boden I didn’t say anything about how I dress so your invention of an imaginary wardrobe for me is very cute. Bless.[/quote]
Wow, you’re so nasty. What an attitude! Perhaps you should dial back your tone.

Agree with the OP. The word is sexist. Never used about men.

It’s also most often used about women who aren’t thin.

I can see where you’re coming from @JaneJeffer.

The term to me links to expectations on dressing for the male gaze (women should dress to look ‘attractive’), conformity and an attitude that only youth = beauty. Its often an attack on middle aged or older women, always women, and those who aren’t conforming to the current beauty and fashion standards.

This is an anonimous online forum. It's good when peoole are honest, rather than fake-nice.
People (women?) are still going to think these things IRL, just not say them out loud to your face.
Besides, you don't have to agree with anyone's opinion. Random posters' opinions are probably pretty irrelevant to your life.

I had a bad hair cut in September and describe myself as frumpy.

As soon as it’s safe and it’s long enough I’m having a non-frumpy hair cut and then I won’t feel so miserable looking on the mirror.

I look like a 12th century knave.

Is it that you don't want people do describe clothes /looks you like as frumpy? Is it you don't want to hear any negative descriptions of styles you like or is it just frumpy you don't like?

Some styles do look frumpy, as in unstylish, dated and look like the wearer doesn't care about their appearance/is actively trying to look unsexy.

How we dress does send a message to others. If you dont like the one "frumpy" then banning it is not going to stop others picking up that message from your clothes. If you don't want to give the message "frump" isn't it best to know some ways of dressing give that impression?

If you want to give the impression via your clothes that you are of the opinion that sex is for other people, crack on.

Oh and I love a bit of Boden, but then I'm not labouring under the impression I look young or foxy or fashionable in them.

It’s interesting…men don’t get accused of being frumpy…but I still think it. When I see a middle aged man in polo shirt, ill-fitting jeans and boat-like trainers, (seems a popular choice of outfit for a lot of them) I think they look dowdy and lacking in personality.

@MrsElijahMikaelson1

When I think of frumpy, it’s usually the per Una range with too many sparkly bits or a skirt that is just the wrong length or shape; a heel of the wrong height to go with the outfit or an over stretched old sweater. Also-things go out of fashion! It’s ok to cling to your skinny jeans if you like them and think you look great and they suit you-anything goes if you think you look great! But…skinny jeans are not fashionable anymore so they are dated and that becomes interchangeable with frumpy I think. Men get it less because men’s suits/clothing don’t really change as much in style as women’s clothes do - however, we all see that saggy bum in jeans or an ill fitting shirt, which to me also align with the frumpy grandad look. S&B is all about what’s fashionable and looks good hence why you might get those sometimes brutal responses to what do you think of these shoes? You can’t expect anything else.🤷‍♀️

This is an excellent demonstration of my point. You say 'It's OK to cling to your skinny jeans if you THINK you look great in them...but they are not fashionable. are dated frumpy'. Can you not see how spiteful, sneery and patronising that sounds? The woman THINKS she looks great, but you know better (because a bunch of men with a vested interest in making money from you have told you what you should be wearing, and you have complied, and when they change it back to skinny jeans you'll comply again) if you don't like any style on yourself, why not just say that? Why imply other women are less cool or attractive than you if they disagree?

Plus if you really want to be 'brutal' the word frumpy would never be attached to a woman on the basis of the cut of her jeans alone. Like any other demeaning word for a woman's appearance, it's attached in the basis of a whole look, which takes into account a woman's body size and shape, physical attractiveness and age. I very much doubt a beautiful 20 year old would be calked frumpy for wearing skinny jeans. So go ahead, defend its use against women who wear things you've heard they no longer should, but don't kid yourself protection against this sort of insult is for sale.

Men get it less because men’s suits/clothing don’t really change as much in style as women’s clothes do - however, we all see that saggy bum in jeans or an ill fitting shirt, which to me also align with the frumpy grandad look.

Men, or their style of dress, is referred to as frumpy in this context.

nowthaticando.com/home/13-common-fashion-mistakes-men-dads-guys-make

“This is an excellent demonstration of my point. You say 'It's OK to cling to your skinny jeans if you THINK you look great in them...but they are not fashionable. are dated frumpy'. Can you not see how spiteful, sneery and patronising that sounds? The woman THINKS she looks great, but you know better (because a bunch of men with a vested interest in making money from you have told you what you should be wearing, and you have complied, and when they change it back to skinny jeans you'll comply again) if you don't like any style on yourself, why not just say that? Why imply other women are less cool or attractive than you if they disagree?”

I agree with every word of this as it goes. Skinny jeans aren’t frumpy…they’re currently out of fashion, that’s all. They still compliment a nice set of thighs, same as they always have.
The date you’ve got the fanny gallops for isn’t going to find your skinny jeans frumpy is he?

I don’t notably follow fashion trends…quite glad the skinny jean has faded out somewhat though…for a while there it’s all you could buy. I like them but a couple of pairs is sufficient. I like other jeans too.

I see the bootcut has made a wee comeback there. Oooh they were suicide by trouser a couple of years ago weren’t they? I always had a couple of pairs of them as well…never cared if they were current or not, they always look great with sneakers.

God forbid one should be wearing something unfashionable. Keep up with the industry, get your purse out.

I never use the word frumpy to describe a person, it's to describe clothes. And I'd describe some men's clothes as frumpy too. Some people think that every word that they don't like is an attack on women 🙄

I think it's a good word, everyone knows what it means. It doesn't have to be an insult. On S&B a poster can ask "is this skirt a bit frumpy?" and people know exactly what the op means and can give their opinion. Frumpy is fine if you want to look frumpy but if you want to avoid looking frumpy then you might want other people's opinions on a skirt (or any other item of clothing).

I try to dress a certain way. Stylish, fashionable (not high fashion though) and in clothes that flatter me. I don't do this for the male bloody gaze. I do this because if I think I look good then it makes me feel good, gives me confidence, puts a spring in my step. Tbh I'm way more bothered about what other women think of my clothes choices than what men think.

Frumpy could be rebranded and a proud fashion choice, why not.

@SalsaLove

I would ban “crepey” as in “My décolletage is looking crepey”. 🙄

I read that as creepy.

Definitely ban creepy boobs.

Frumpy to me is not bootcut jeans…but bootcut jeans with mum boots and a nice practical zip up fleece. Mum bob. Radley handbag. Behave yourself clothing.

Frumpy could be rebranded and a proud fashion choice, why not.

It would make a good name for a clothing brand.

@pictish

Frumpy to me is not bootcut jeans…but bootcut jeans with mum boots and a nice practical zip up fleece. Mum bob. Radley handbag. Behave yourself clothing.

How is using ‘mum’ to denote unfashionable/dated/unattractive ok? It’s the frumpy = mum = unattractive narrative that’s problematic.

It’s a bit like the word ‘slutty’ to describe clothes - it’s loaded.

@5128gap you hit the nail on the head.

Just asked my dh…not because he’s a man but because he happens to be sitting here. What does frumpy mean to him?

Unglamorous, shapeless, generally unfashionable…men can be frumpy as well. For people who don’t care about clothes any more, usually older people.

He’s 52 and dresses the same as he always has. Decent jeans, converse, t-shirt, flannel shirt or woolly jumper. He looks fine.

Well to be fair, I didn’t come up with the term. It’s ubiquitous on here now which is why I used it. I’m not taking a swipe at the sisterhood. Or if I am, it’s laziness not intent.

You can't disassociate the word frumpy from the wearer, just because you claim the clothes are the target. It doesn't suddenly become a benign description. It carries with it all the 'mean girls' connotations of not being part of the cool gang. 'That skirt you're wearing is frumpy', for me, sounds no better than 'You look frumpy in that skirt'. Equivocation at its finest.

Bootcut jeans are bang up to date though. DD1 is 16 and wears them.

Using "frumpy" dates you instantly. Plus not even getting the correct reference as to what it might be.