Child with extremely dry, wiry hair

[FluffyPinkSocks]

Have posted before in the past. Dd10 has extremely dry, wiry, frizzy, flat, BIG hair….if that makes sense? She has always had what I would call ‘volume’. It’s really dry. I’m currently using Aveda conditioner on it, head and shoulders shampoo as it’s so difficult to rinse out shampoo. What can I use on it? She has taken to calling herself Hagrid….that’s what it is like! Please advise me on what to do! She is so self conscious about it 😩 think there are sensory issues going on too as she’s hates her dried or brushed.

Have you looked at information about curly hair? It requires quite different treatment to straight hair. Eg don't brush when dry, use plenty of conditioner, use leave in conditioner, use curl defining products, get a hairdresser that specialises in curly hair etc. The right cut makes a massive difference in getting the curls to lie nice. Most folks with curly hair have to intervene in ways that people with straight hair don't. It's a different way of doing things!

And yeah if she's got curls she won't like having her hair brushed when dry - it hurts!

For me it was a symptom of pcos and thyroid problems (I started my periods at 9 but my hair became wiry at 8 which is probably when the disorders started). When they were corrected I got lovely glossy spiral curls so I would take her to the GP first. If you mention concerns about her thyroid they will check it for you - with pcos they’ll put it on her history but may ask to do the blood test after she starts her period).

My hair would be like this if I didn't take care of it properly. I would ditch the H&S for starters and go with a very gentle, sulfate free shampoo. I don't shampoo at all but that's not for everyone.

Wash as infrequently as possible, condition well, blot very carefully.

For a low effort style rub a bit more conditioner (or a leave-in) through the ends and lengths while it's still wet, gentle wide tooth comb only if tangled, then put it in plaits to dry. This could take overnight if very thick! When the plaits come out, comb roughly with fingers and add a bit of serum/curl cream/coconut oil.

Spray in conditioner. We use the Aussie one and it’s made a huge difference to DD’s hair which is similar. Also realllly helps with brushing.

Also try using shampoo only once/twice a week and on other nights washing with conditioner only. Sounds crazy if you have my kind of hair (fine and oily) but for dry wiry hair it really works.

Oh, and never ever ever ever ever brush it!

Actually you can brush! But only after leave in conditioner/oil and curl definer and only if it's still sopping wet ie not been near a towel at all.

My 11 yo has similar bushy hair, prone to dryness and frizz. We wash it only twice a week, using only a little conditioner, no shampoo. Don't brush, just use wide tooth comb when wet if tangled. Oil spray to moisturise - Cantu works well for us.

I have that sort of hair and shampoo like head and shoulders is terrible for it - it leaves an awful sticky silicone coating that stops it from absorbing moisture.

My hair is like this. I've

And I do shampoo mine but I use vosene! Then a rch, silicone free conditioner. I do brush it but only wet.

Oops. I've stopped using shampoo on it as it just dries it out. I do a conditioner only wash once a week and a diluted bicarb rinse, followed by a vinegar rinse once a week. There are plenty of "no-poo" or "low-poo" ideas out there.

It is probably not dry and wiry but is curly. Although curls do love moisture. Take some of the tips already given and learn to embrace your child's beautiful curls. Google The Curly Girl Method. Find a hairdresser in your area that specialises in cutting and styling curly hair. I also use Boucleme hair products which are great. I spent my childhood and a lot of my adulthood around negativity about curly hair. I would sit in the hairdressers and they always wanted to blowdry it straight. When I said no they actually hadn't a clue how to style my curls. Teach her to love her hair.

I have this hair. You need to:

1. Use a REALLY gentle paraben and sultate free shampoo. A gentle Aveda shampoo would be fine but there are cheaper brands too.

1. Use loads of conditioner. Loads of it. I like boots coconut conditioner for dry hair.

1. Spray liberally with leave in shampoo and a smooth in some serum before brushing while wet. I then apply mousse but this isn't essential.

1. Never brush when dry. Yes it get tangled.

1. Scrunch Dry gently using a diffuser. Stop while hair is still damp. Scrunch in suitable product. I like boots curl crème

Don’t brush it!!

Maybe even hold off on the shampoo, rinse and cleanse instead. Don’t use head and shoulders. Try giving a bit more moisture and oils.

And it’s best to leave it to air dry unless you’re diffusing. So that could save you a fight too.

Try a deep condition, cleanse and condition,then when she is rinsed, don’t worry about leaving some conditioner not fully rinsed out from the ends and scrunch her hair with a t-shirt. Add some oil, conditioner or whatever you like, and keep scrunching until it’s not dripping
And then see if it dries any better. Check out curly girl method.

I also echo ozanj‘s post in that my hair turned like this when I was about 10 and I have PCOS and potentially a problem with my thyroid too, so it’s something to consider as your DD gets older.

Also my wavy hair is much nicer if I use the methods that have been previously mentioned, such as only brushing when soaking wet and scrunching it when drying, followed by a bit of hair oil. I don’t do strict curly girl as I do need to use a sulphate shampoo once a week though.

That's my hair, no medical reason, it's just big.

I use head and shoulders, but only twice a week. I NEVER use conditioner when washing but use something leave in like L'oreal dream lengths no haircut cream. Ideally let it dry naturally but in reality that takes days. I practice since I was a young teen I have rough dried it with a hairdryer using fingers, no brush then either curled it using tongs, rollers or used straighteners as that then smooths it until the next wash. Don't brush more than once a day and use a silk or satin pillowcase to reduce frizz. Ditching shampoo and products with silicone also helps (eg body shop rainforest shampoo but they are harder to use for youngsters)

This is the best brush for my hair, just a quick whizz through each morning is all it needs

denmanbrush.com/products/d3-original-styler-7-row

I also have this hair (& no med issues)!

Lots of good advice above. There are curly girl method groups on Facebook which are a mine of info and support.

I'm only wavy, but because my hair is so coarse and dense it likes rich products designed for really curly hair. When you say "flat" do you mean the hair strand in cross section? Mine are like ribbons!

If you're using h&s for dandruff reasons, I can recommend As I Am Dry & Itchy Cowash (a conditioner designed for replacing shampoo). It is the only product that has permanently eliminated my flakes.

Also sleeping in plaits stops the hair tangling at night.

CeeceeBloomingdale
Do you use it on your hair when it's dry? I use it on my wet hair to define my curls but I would not look good if I brushed my hair with my denman when my hair is dry as it would turn into a complete frizz ball.

@Theblacksheepandme Yes. I wash my hair and dry it without combing or brushing it. I then cause a wide tooth comb on small sections to straighten or curl it. The brush is used on non-washing days to detangle. It could well be different for you with curly hair though, if I'm wearing mine curly I brush it as little as possible. Mine is more wavy than curly so it needs to be either straightened or curled as leaving it as nature intended makes it a big frizzy triangle.

Yes give her a silk pillow case, I had very frizzy hair when I was younger. I've learned how to deal with it now, and it's calmed right down with the silk pillow case also washing in seasalt softened water ONCE a week in between washes use essential oil of lavender on her scalp , it's amazing, it stops any itches or dandruff.

( For conditioning you can also use warmed almond oil on her scalp, washing every month or so, as other posters have said you have to use a no sodium sulphate shampoo ALL the time). Oh and comb it in with a good quality wide toothed comb.

Ask her how she likes it to be styled, she may just like it put in a tight pony tail.

I use the soap nut shampoo, salt or softened water without conditioner now, but before with a leave in conditioner.

The Aveda Be Curly range is brilliant for this type of hair. It's suitable for hair with a gentle wave, as well as properly curly hair & is really moisturising. I have fine but really frizzy, dry hair with a slight wave. I cannot put a brush or comb near it other than a wide tooth comb to evenly distribute the conditioner. I also use the Curl Enhancer from the same range. Just a small amount before blow drying or leaving to dry naturally. This was my saving grace for years.

It's no doubt curly , get some curl cream in it when it's wet and diffuse it ! My hair was like that as a child and my mother had no clue how to care for it . I look shocking in every photo ! 🙈

Hair masks? Minimal washing? A good haircut with a few inches taking off?